Sunday, September 20, 2009

One Year Blog Anniversary, Farewell, and My Heartfelt Thanks

I've said all along that there was a deadline with this blog, and that I wasn't going to do it indefinitely. Well, I've reached that point after a year of blogging. To manage the blog in the manner that I prefer to do so takes up a significant amount of time. Time that I now need to invest into other endeavors. And since I don't like to do "half-stepping," I've decided that now would be a good time to shut down the blog.

The conversations that we've had, and the mini-community that we've formed during this time, have greatly enriched my life. I've gained new ideas, insights and information that I wouldn't have gained otherwise. I've even gained some new goals (writing a novel) as a result of these conversations and your input. I can't possibly thank all of you enough for that. THANK YOU.

Peace and God's blessings be upon you,
Khadija

P.S. I hope that our various arks cross paths, and that I see you around on the high seas! LOL!
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109 comments:

  1. AnonymousSeptember 20, 2009 at 4:55 PM

    "Everything Must Change", Nina Simone.

    So long, Kadhija. Thanks for such an empowering, inspiring and enlightening blog. You and all your commenters definitely helped me to challenge my thoughts and look forward to a more rewarding outcomes in my life.

    God Bless you in your endeavors and I look forward to reading your book!

    ReplyDelete
  2. tertiaryannaSeptember 20, 2009 at 5:21 PM

    Khadija, thank you so much for all of your work. Good luck and all the best on your new journeys!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousSeptember 20, 2009 at 5:38 PM

    I would like to thank you so much for all the information, insight, and strategies that you have been so kind to share with us over the year.

    I have become a better person as a result of coming to this blog.


    I wish you much luck and success with all your ventures!

    ReplyDelete
  4. palmwaterSeptember 20, 2009 at 5:40 PM

    Farewell Kadhija. Thank you for creating a safe space to share knowledge and information. I hope you enjoy the luxury cruise ship(ark), I certainly will be enjoying mine. All the best on your future endeavors!

    ReplyDelete
  5. truth prevailsSeptember 20, 2009 at 5:45 PM

    I knew this day was coming.(sigh)Well, i'm gonna defitnetly miss you and all your pearls of wisdom.I'm so happy to have found your blog.I really am no good with goodbyes I just know that you will be missed (teary eyed) seriously.I too will be reading/buying your BOOK???

    I pray God will bless you in all you do.I pray that you will greatly increase in all good things.You will be kept in my thoughts and prayers always.

    Though you are leaving us I know that the truth will continue to prevail.Thank you for planting the seeds on fertile ground.

    Truth prevails.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Faith at Acts of Faith BlogSeptember 20, 2009 at 5:47 PM

    Khadija: THANK YOU. I have learned so much from participating at this forum. I wasn't prepared for you to end it now though, but if you decide to resume blogging occasionally your voice will be most welcome!

    ReplyDelete
  7. FeliciaSeptember 20, 2009 at 6:17 PM

    Good luck to you Khadija and all of your future endeavors!

    You've made a positive difference and allowed us all to "leave our mark".

    We've shared words of wisdom from our different perspecitves based on our different life experiences.

    It is definitely time for BW who "get it" to ACT on the freedom they have.

    NOW.

    To live and love WELL unapologetically.

    I have a pretty important upcoming project I'm preparing for so I'm devoting my full attention to that.

    God bless all and take care!

    ReplyDelete
  8. DeStouetSeptember 20, 2009 at 6:28 PM

    And now is as good a time as any, in my most honest opinion.

    We've covered "life" from every possible angle here at this blog.

    If you'd chosen to continue, the participating audience would have just been repeating the same old things.

    Thank you Khadija, Sister Seeking, Evia, and Lisa for sharing key tools with each of us.

    I'm honored to have been in the midst of such profound, powerful, transforming discussions/ladies.

    Forever,

    Latasha

    ReplyDelete
  9. TamSeptember 20, 2009 at 6:28 PM

    Sadly, I bid you adieu. I wish you well in your future endeavors. Good luck with the book.

    ReplyDelete
  10. EnigmaSeptember 20, 2009 at 6:32 PM

    I hope I meet you at some point too Khadijah. I will miss our convos. Best of LUCK with your new ventures.

    ReplyDelete
  11. KhadijaSeptember 20, 2009 at 6:55 PM

    Energize, TertiaryAnna, Aphrodite, Palmwater, TruthPrevails, Faith, Felicia, DeStouet, Tam, Enigma:

    You're welcome; and THANK YOU! I've learned so many important things from listening to all of you. Thank you for enriching my thoughts and my life with your knowledge.

    Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    ReplyDelete
  12. PVWSeptember 20, 2009 at 7:34 PM

    Greetings, Khadija!

    Thank you! I've enjoyed participating in your community. I've learned at the same time I contributed.

    Farewell!

    PVW

    ReplyDelete
  13. SouthlandDivaSeptember 20, 2009 at 7:49 PM

    Many thanks for your insight and your foresight. I loved the challenge of participating on this blog. Thank you for your inspiration.

    Peace,Love & Blessings!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. ESeptember 20, 2009 at 8:01 PM

    Thank you for sharing with us. I now know that I am not the only one who thinks that black woman have a right to the same good life every other group of women on earth aspire to. Not only that, but we DESERVE it and need to go after it. This is life after all and we only get one. Why not make your stay on this planet as joyous as possible and filled with love and reciprocal relationships? You have given us a community to share and a light on the path of out and up. Good luck on your journey.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousSeptember 20, 2009 at 8:42 PM

    Khadija,
    I believe your last few blogs were probably the best of the best and if they stay up awhile longer they will continue to enlighten more young and not so young women.

    Good Luck and enjoy your cruise.

    Ann

    ReplyDelete
  16. mekareSeptember 20, 2009 at 9:13 PM

    Thanks Khadijah for your work.

    ReplyDelete
  17. UnknownSeptember 20, 2009 at 10:02 PM

    Khadija,
    I've been a faithful lurker of your blog for about half a year now and I just wanted to say, "thank you, thank you, thank you!" for all of your words of wisdom. (Please forgive my lurking-ness and non-contribution - this is the first post that I've had to the courage to comment on). Your essays have been incredibly beneficial to my life (and to all those who've read and absorbed). I will truly miss reading your insightful thoughts and advice - I count you as an e-mentor! Many blessings in all of your future endeavors!

    ReplyDelete
  18. sistrunkqueenSeptember 20, 2009 at 10:33 PM

    All good things must come to an end
    Your blog has opened my eyes to my dreams of peace of mind and bliss. Asalam a lakum

    ReplyDelete
  19. KhadijaSeptember 20, 2009 at 11:14 PM

    PioneerValleyWoman, SouthlandDiva, E, Ann, Mekare, Politics, Sistrunkqueen,

    Greetings, Wa Alaikum As Salaam!

    You're welcome; and THANK YOU! I've learned so many important things from listening to all of you. Thank you for enriching my thoughts and my life with your knowledge.

    Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    ReplyDelete
  20. TeeSeptember 20, 2009 at 11:41 PM

    Kadhija:

    I hope the results of every prayer that has been prayed for you, will rain down all at once, and keep you drenched for the rest of your days!

    Well done, Queen!

    Tee

    ReplyDelete
  21. SoweluSeptember 21, 2009 at 5:53 AM

    Thank you so much for sharing your time and knowledge. I wish you well with your future endeavors.

    ReplyDelete
  22. foreverloyalSeptember 21, 2009 at 6:03 AM

    As-salaamu-alaikum,
    What kind of 'Eid present is THIS?
    hmmmm.... A good one. I'm happy to know that you are satisfied with the help you've provided and the help you've been given.
    I'm happy to imagine you busily working and joyfully playing, getting the most out of life.
    I'm happy to say you've helped me and many others.
    Onward and upward, set sail!

    'Eid Mubarak and wasalaam.

    ReplyDelete
  23. AnonymousSeptember 21, 2009 at 6:08 AM

    Khadija, your insight will be missed by those of us who truly received your message. Although, I've recently come upon your blog from another blog site, this past month has been enlightening and reaffirming. I am ever grateful for your offerings. I pray you well in all you do forward; you've done so well here! Many blessings!

    ReplyDelete
  24. KarenSeptember 21, 2009 at 6:31 AM

    Khadija,

    Thank you very much and I wish you all the best on your journey and much success in your endeavors!

    (Waving at you from my cruise ship!!)

    Karen

    ReplyDelete
  25. lormarieSeptember 21, 2009 at 6:44 AM

    Your voice will be missed. I wish you much success in your writing career. I will be waiting for your published work.

    ReplyDelete
  26. AnonymousSeptember 21, 2009 at 6:50 AM

    Thanks for the blog, I have learned so much from you and the other posters. All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  27. UnknownSeptember 21, 2009 at 7:09 AM

    *sorry for possible typos, i'm a bit emotional about this*

    To the very lovely Khadija,

    You, my Sister, are a revelation and required reading. I have spent more time on your blog than all of the other BWE blogs combined and it has been such a wonderful ride. Your searing intellect, humor, and genuine caring nature all came through in your writing.
    I will admit, I did not start reading these blogs because I needed them. I started reading them because I could FINALLY find camaraderie with other black women, for the FIRST time in my entire life. I finally found black women with complete understanding of how I've ALWAYS thought. I was no longer a 'lone wolf' and no longer a voice in the wilderness. Those were my reasons for reading in the beginning. I wasn't counting on it happening but somewhere along the way, your writings helped enhance an already pretty great life (mine).

    I knew this day was coming because of the 'tone' of this months entries, although I thought you would stop in December of this year.

    I will miss you forever. You are the type of black woman friend I have searched high and low for. I will definitely see you on the high seas. I've been out here alone, for so long. I must say, I'm very choosy about with whom I share my Veuve Cliquot but, there is bottle on my luxury yacht and it awaits you. Care to join me for the day?

    I truly hope you turn this blog into a book because it is required reading for ALL black women and our biracial daughters.

    I wish for you every blessing, every happiness and everything you could ever want. You deserve it. You have GIVEN so much.

    ReplyDelete
  28. KhadijaSeptember 21, 2009 at 7:22 AM

    Tee, Sowelu, ForeverLoyal, Qshukura, Karen, Lormarie, Anonymous, SweetSoulSister,

    Wa Alaikum As Salaam!

    Oooh, I like that "let the prayers' blessings all rain down at once" thought! You're welcome; and THANK YOU all SO much for your kind words, kind thoughts, prayers, and support!

    I've learned so many important things from listening to all of you. Thank you for enriching my thoughts and my life with your knowledge.

    Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    {waving from the ark construction facility at the dock}

    ReplyDelete
  29. AnonymousSeptember 21, 2009 at 8:00 AM

    Khadijah-

    I wish you all the best in your future endeavors. Thank you for this space that so many of us retreated to. I do hope that your blog will stay around in an archive status (is that even possible? *shrug*)

    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
  30. AnonymousSeptember 21, 2009 at 8:35 AM

    Buhwhaa--? Is it that time already? Oh, how time flies (I just got here about three months ago)!

    Khadija, I thank you profusely for the wisdom you've bestowed upon us--I too have learned plenty here. *sniff* I think this is the part where The Way We Were starts playing on the loudspeaker. Farewell, and I'll see you on my Amazon wish list (lol).

    P.S. I've begun reading The 4-hour Workweek and will whip up a blog of my own by year's end.

    ReplyDelete
  31. apaSeptember 21, 2009 at 8:38 AM

    Khadija:

    I'm a lurker, but I just wanted to let you know that I truly appreciate your blog. I've learned so much and have grown as an individual just from reading your blog. I wish you all the best!

    Thanks,
    APA

    ReplyDelete
  32. KhadijaSeptember 21, 2009 at 8:51 AM

    Sassy J, Rainebeaux, Apa,

    You're welcome; and THANK YOU all SO much for your kind words, kind thoughts, prayers, and support!

    Well, I'm not particularly computer-savvy, so I don't know anything about the archive option. What I will do is leave the blog up for a while.

    Also, I'll leave the blog email account active. So anyone who wants to email me, please feel free to do so.

    If and when I eventually get around to putting the blog essays together in book form, I'll put an announcement up.

    I've learned so many important things from listening to all of you. Thank you for enriching my thoughts and my life with your knowledge.

    Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    ReplyDelete
  33. UnknownSeptember 21, 2009 at 9:07 AM

    Oh! Right after I de-lurked too. Well, thank you so much for this blog, it has been so enlightening and has truly benefitted me and many others.

    Best of luck to you in whatever you do, Khadija.

    ReplyDelete
  34. LaJane GaltSeptember 21, 2009 at 9:12 AM

    Yesterday, I sent links of several of my favorite essays to my friend and sister. They are the only people I know (at this point) who I think are ready to read your words. Even though you let us know that this blog would be finite, I'm still kinda bummed.

    I value your insight, experience, honesty and strength of your arguments. Your efforts have made my life easier by shattering the remnants of delusions that caused me a tremendous amount of stress.

    I'm happy for YOU and grateful for your contributions and service.

    I assume that when you publish your novel you will let us know...:)

    Good luck Khadija!!

    ReplyDelete
  35. LavetteSeptember 21, 2009 at 9:14 AM

    Khadija,

    I been mostly a reader of your blog but I say thanks for all of your wonderful posts I've learned quite a bit too and i will miss you as well.

    Continue to be blessed.

    ReplyDelete
  36. EnigmaSeptember 21, 2009 at 9:33 AM

    Khadijah,
    PLEASE let us all know when the book is published!!

    I may not have "met " you in person, but I would like to support you like you are a good friend that must go on & run her race. RUNNNNNNNNNN! LOL. Again, Good Luck and Godspeed!

    ReplyDelete
  37. ladydragonSeptember 21, 2009 at 9:45 AM

    I've been lurking for months (sorry),because with every essay that you've written and with every comment made by you and others, I could not have agreed more. I wish you luck and a million thanks for all your insights, they've been spot on!!!

    ReplyDelete
  38. lisa99September 21, 2009 at 10:46 AM

    Aww Khadija, I'm gonna miss you! Your blog was one of the first ones I'd visit every day!

    But... I truly understand! If we are to "live well," we must follow paths that honor ourselves first and foremost. You have shared so much with us, and if you feel it is time to move on, then I wish you the best with your journey.

    Thanks again, and I'll see you on the seas!

    ReplyDelete
  39. JJSeptember 21, 2009 at 10:54 AM

    WAAHHH! I am actually sad. Khadija, your blog has become one of my daily online activities I truly look forward to. It has helped me sort thru some really deep generational mess that NO ONE in the families has made sense of up here in my neck of the woods.

    I am forever grateful for the time and effort you put into this. I have been in a stage of preparation for some big things and your teachings (along w/ the other contributors) has fast-tracked my readiness.

    Compiled into a book format- you might just have a best seller on your hands. Heck, I'd place a bulk order and share it w/ the students I teach.

    Mega blessings upon you in all aspects of life and love!

    JJ

    ReplyDelete
  40. UnknownSeptember 21, 2009 at 10:55 AM

    Khadija,

    Thanks so much for your work. i enjoyed reading your blog; it made me think, and I know it has contributed to my growth as an African American woman.

    I will miss you and your blog, but I do understand that you have to do what you need to do; it's your life, and it seems that you have reached the end of this particular path in your life. I think that is good modeling for other women to move on when the time is right.

    I didn't read the other comments yet, so sorry if you said already, but will the blog be left online to read, or will it be taken down alltgether?

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  41. cosmicyorubaSeptember 21, 2009 at 11:22 AM

    Khadija you will seriously be missed. thank you for your excellent work. i have really learnt a lot and i wish you the best in everything.

    ReplyDelete
  42. DeeSeptember 21, 2009 at 11:26 AM

    Wow, I'm going to miss your words of wisdom. Do you plan to keep the blog published even though you will no longer be actively posting? I haven't been around long enough to know that you had an exit strategy but it makes sense.

    Best wishes and God bless you in your journey!

    ReplyDelete
  43. DaphneSeptember 21, 2009 at 11:54 AM

    Hi Khadija!

    May your investment and seeds planted in the minds and spirits of black girls and women be returned to you hundredfold. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  44. ChiSeptember 21, 2009 at 12:33 PM

    Sister Khadijah,

    I am such a fan of your work, may you continue to teach and touch people in your future endeavors, as you have with your inspiring and empowering blog. Many blessings be upon you and yours.

    ReplyDelete
  45. BuccinatorSeptember 21, 2009 at 1:27 PM

    Khadija-

    I'm a lurker to this blog, but I must say that your posts have had a great effect on me and I'm so happy to have found it, even for a short time. You and your blog will be truly missed!

    I hope you find and maintain all the happiness and fulfillment you deserve! Thank you for being an inspiration to many.

    ReplyDelete
  46. GloriaSeptember 21, 2009 at 2:26 PM

    Ditto what everyone has said.

    Thank you Khadija!!

    ReplyDelete
  47. UnknownSeptember 21, 2009 at 2:44 PM

    Hi Khadija,

    I really enjoyed reading your blogs. You were an inspiration to me. I wish you all the best that life has in store for you. Thank you so much for sharing your viewpoints on different topics.

    ReplyDelete
  48. AmentaSeptember 21, 2009 at 4:19 PM

    Khadija, Peace and Blessing be with you! Maybe that's redundant as I believe these are with you already! May you continue in good fortune and walking on the Path of Wisdom and Knowledge, wielding the sword of right thought, right speech, right actions, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration and right understanding!

    Guidance,
    EnSayn/Victor
    The SupremeUltimate

    ReplyDelete
  49. JamaicanGyalSeptember 21, 2009 at 5:25 PM

    You will be missed! God Bless!!

    ReplyDelete
  50. bwdbSeptember 21, 2009 at 5:32 PM

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!


    But I understand there are time when we must move on...NOW is the time anyway to wind down the 'talking' and get into 'action' mode...Khadija, you will be missed...Just don't be a stranger!

    ReplyDelete
  51. Nu GirlSeptember 21, 2009 at 5:48 PM

    Thank You Sister Khadija,

    What you have given from your heart, mind and spirit is priceless wisdom.(fighting back tears but so happy for you) I have gained and grown from this forum and will be passing this wisdom on to my daughter. Please inform us of when your book will be available! See you on the path.

    Much Love Sister, Much Love

    Monique aka Nu Girl

    ReplyDelete
  52. AnonymousSeptember 21, 2009 at 5:50 PM

    I am really going to miss your blog. I really wish that you would turn off your comment feature just like some of the other bloggers if that would make managing the blog easier and for you to stay a little longer. But anyway good look on you future endeavors and let me know when the book is finished so that I can go out and support you.

    ReplyDelete
  53. E. N.September 21, 2009 at 6:05 PM

    I just discovered this blog and it's closing. This is so sad. Khadija, you've contributed tremendously to my own uplifting, and I'm sure countless other BW out there in all corners of the world. I can't tell you how valuable your blog is, and I'm glad you're keeping it up. Thank you so much for creating it in the first place. I hope I meet you someday on the high seas!


    E.N.
    Sticks and Stones - An Emotional Abuse Survivor's Blog
    http://theemancipatedsurvivor.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  54. AishaSeptember 21, 2009 at 6:41 PM

    Big huuuggg!!! Thank you so much Khadija, for everything. You (and your readers) have changed my life, and quite possibly my destiny. I am a MUCH more critical thinker because of your blog. That is the most important thing: knowing how to think, so you can see situations for yourself. "Give a man a fish, feed him for a day, teach a man how to fish, feed him for life." God sent me to your blog for a reason-so I could successfully build my own ark.

    Your intelligence, eagle eye, and refusal to take any b.s. have inspired me so much. I will pay it forward. I hope this is not the last we hear from you. Much love to you sister!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  55. KhadijaSeptember 21, 2009 at 7:10 PM

    JoyousNerd, LaJane Galt, Lavette, Enigma, LadyDragon, Lisa99, JJ, Sharifa, EccentricYoruba, Dee, Daphne, Chi, Buccinator, Selena, rdb30223, JamaicanGyal, CW, NuGirl, Anonymous, E.N., Aisha,

    I'm also sad to see this end (it feels somewhat like high school graduation). I must admit that it's not easy for me to move on from here. Like so many other people, I struggle with the urge to cling to things beyond their "expiration date." But as I said, it's time for me to move on to other pursuits.

    I will definitely miss the conversations here. For me, the conversations (and the resulting exchange of ideas and information) were what made this an extremely valuable experience. So, it wouldn't work for me to turn off the comments---I would miss out on what was most important to me about this place.

    Aisha, I especially appreciate your thought of paying it forward. The desire to pay it forward is what inspired me to start the blog in the first place. Pioneers such as Evia, Halima, PioneerValleyWoman and other brave women who spoke out for our interests when NOBODY else was doing do, helped me so much with their essays.

    I had just stumbled out of the Matrix after hearing about the Dunbar Village Atrocity and its aftermath, and I was extremely disoriented. Reading their essays greatly helped me when I was disoriented after stumbling out of the Matrix. I wanted to do my part and pay it forward. I'm delighted to hear that others have the same urge, and will pay it forward in their own unique ways! THANK YOU!

    Assuming that I do it, the book of blog post essays won't be out until some time next year. In the meantime, I'll leave the blog up for at least until the end of this year. Assuming that I do the book of blog essays, I'll be sure to be a publicity pirate and make the announcement at various other blogs. LOL!

    Also, I'll leave the blog email account active. So anyone who wants to email me, please feel free to do so.

    I've learned so many important things from listening to all of you. Thank you for enriching my thoughts and my life with your knowledge.

    Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    ReplyDelete
  56. KhadijaSeptember 21, 2009 at 7:28 PM

    Ensayn1/Victor,

    THANK YOU so much for being one of our "Black, shining, knights"! Even though I mostly lurk at your blogs, I have learned and continue to learn so much from your insights.

    Also, THANK YOU for being so gracious as to have accepted my earlier invitation to guest host this blog this December. If I had been able to maintain the blog to that point, it would have been interesting to follow the guest host conversations you would have had.

    The good thing is that you and your blogs are still around. Your wisdom and feedback are still readily available for those who visit your blogs.

    Ensayn1/Victor, you've been a steadfast example of the Noble Eightfold Path of right thought, right speech, right actions, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration and right understanding!

    THANK YOU for being such a source of guidance! Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    ReplyDelete
  57. KhadijaSeptember 21, 2009 at 7:45 PM

    Everyone:

    As I just mentioned, Ensayn1/Victor was gracious enough to accept my invitation earlier this year to be a guest blog host this December. Unfortunately, I have to close up shop before that can happen.

    The VERY good thing is that both of his excellent blogs continue to be up and running: The Journal of Ensayn Reality and Supreme Ultimate. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND Victor's blogs!

    Even though I know that this will probably embarass him (sorry Victor, but I feel that folks need to know one of the reasons why I admire you and your work so much---LOL!), let me make a point of mentioning in detail just one reason why I appreciate Ensayn1/Victor as one of our knights.

    I did a couple of posts during October 2008 that were a reaction to an incident that occurred at an AA Sunni Muslim blog. An immigrant Muslim came to an AA Orthodox Muslim blog to tell AA Orthodox Muslims that we need to prioritize immigrant Muslims' issues OVER OUR OWN.

    Let me quote from those posts.

    From 10/27/08 post "Ladies, We are on our own: Help is NOT on the way.":

    "From the Department of Help is NOT on the Way:

    Here's the link to an exchange I (and a handful of others) recently had with an immigrant Muslim. Basically, this individual feels free to come to a Black Orthodox Muslim site to tell us that immigrant Muslims' problems are more worthy of Black people's attention than our own."

    From the 10/29/08 post "Postscript on Ladies, we are on our own.":

    Well . . . as of today (10/29/08), the immigrant Muslim has returned to the blog A Singular Voice to tell us complaining, ungrateful Black folks the following:

    'The 'immigrant' community cares a lot for the African-American brothers and sisters and has given millions of dollars for the spread of Islam in your community. I don't think African-Americans have a better friend than 'immigrant' Muslims and I don't think that you can find a single Muslim leader that would disagree with that notion.

    We want to protect your communities and make sure they flourish, but it is complainers like yourself [referring to the blog host, Abdur-Rahman Muhammad] that hold things back. The anger shown by people like you make you look very ungrateful for all the help provided to your community and it makes the relationship worse.'

    ReplyDelete
  58. KhadijaSeptember 21, 2009 at 7:47 PM

    Part 2

    [Still quoting from the 10/29/08 blog post]

    A few final thoughts about this episode:

    The fact that this individual feels comfortable coming to a Black Muslim blog with this message demonstrates the servile nature of many orthodox Black Muslim men. Very, very few Muslim Black men responded to this individual's original insulting comment. Their cringing silence is what emboldened him to return to say the above. In a way, I'm happy that he said this out loud. It brings several things out into the open.

    First, it's very important to note that this immigrant Muslim carefully avoided responding to the points raised by several REAL MEN like Victor "Ensayn" Amenta, blog host of Ensayn Reality - Journal (which is listed on my sidebar).

    The immigrant Muslim scurried away from Mr. Amenta's comment. This is what happens when human roaches encounter a REAL MAN. A real man is a quality man who protects and provides for his family.

    What the Muslim-named, Black eunuchs don't understand (or never knew) is that there is POWER inherent in righteous masculinity. There is POWER in a REAL MAN firmly speaking the truth. He doesn't have to raise his voice, or get physical, etc.

    Human roaches know that it's best for them not to confront a real man firmly speaking the truth. It's really that simple. I've seen this fact demonstrated many times over by the real men that I've been blessed to have in my life.

    This is why it's so important for Black women to start choosing REAL, QUALITY MEN, and stop grading Black men on a curve. Even the "passive" benefits that accrue from choosing a Quality Man to be one's husband and the father of one's children are priceless."
    _________________________

    I praise God for every "Black, shining, knight" that I've encountered in real life and online. May their numbers increase!

    ReplyDelete
  59. g-e-m2001September 21, 2009 at 9:05 PM

    I'm going to miss you, but I think you'll be back in a different form. I learned a great deal from you.

    ReplyDelete
  60. LorraineSeptember 21, 2009 at 9:13 PM

    Am I the only who feels robbed and cheated here? I came late in the game so I missed out on much of your common sense and profound blogs. But just look at the loyal following you have. Not everyone can say this and we are all sad to see you go. But we are also happy for you and support you in your future endeavors.

    Thanks for allowing me to sojourn with you though brief it was. All the absolute best to you as you are following your heart and mind.

    حظ جيد - بالتوفيق
    (Haz jaid - be al tawfeeq)

    ReplyDelete
  61. ReynaldoSeptember 21, 2009 at 9:38 PM

    Khadija,
    I've really enjoyed reading your blog; I hope that you leave it up so people can still read it.

    ReplyDelete
  62. tasha212September 21, 2009 at 10:04 PM

    Khadija,

    I know that lately I have not been in the comment section but please know that I was always reading. Your blog has been an inspiration and a daily must-read for a year now and your blogging presance will be greatly missed by me and many others. You are a great writer and I look forward to reading one of your novels one day. May God bless and keep you in all that you do. Thanks for all that you have done and said on behalf for African American women and girls everywhere.

    Peace and Solidarity,

    Tasha

    ReplyDelete
  63. KhadijaSeptember 21, 2009 at 10:32 PM

    G-e-m2001/Gina,

    I hope you realize that your work in resisting the war against Black women and girls is one of the main things that led to the creation of this particular blog. *Smile*

    It was your tireless and steadfast work in covering the Dunbar Village Atrocity that snapped me out of my prior trance. Your work in covering that crime against humanity is what pushed me out of the Matrix in the first place.

    If it wasn't for your work, I would still be in a trance within the Matrix.

    As upsetting as it was to originally stumble out of the Matrix, my life is so much better for it. I've learned so many important things from you and the example you've set with your innovative activism.

    Gina, THANK YOU so much for all that you've done, and all that you continue to do! Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    P.S. Assuming that I do the book of blog essays, I'll be sure to be a publicity pirate and make an announcement in a comment over at your blog. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  64. KhadijaSeptember 21, 2009 at 10:40 PM

    Lorraine, Reynaldo, Tasha212,

    You're welcome; and THANK YOU all SO much for your kind words, kind thoughts, prayers, and support!

    I'm so...thankful and appreciative...{getting teary-eyed here} for everybody's kindness and support. I can't express my gratitude enough. THANK YOU all.

    I've learned so many important things from listening to all of you. Thank you for enriching my thoughts and my life with your knowledge.

    Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    ReplyDelete
  65. NathifaSeptember 22, 2009 at 7:06 AM

    Khadija
    Thank you so much for all your work. You really helped me to to move forward. You gave love but tough love. You never sugar coated your thoughts and always gave it to us straight. I will deeply miss your blog and I wish you nothing but happiness, joy and success.

    ReplyDelete
  66. AnonymousSeptember 22, 2009 at 7:59 AM

    Khadija,

    While I am not an active participant, I am an avid reader of your blog. I've enjoyed reading this blog, and have taken so much away from it. Recently, I even sat down and wrote out my my wildest dreams list, which I am working on bringing to fruition. I am sad to see this end, but I understand. I am so appreciative for this blog! Good luck in all your endeavors.

    ReplyDelete
  67. kmblue's other profileSeptember 22, 2009 at 9:36 AM

    Thank you, and good bye.

    This blog.. I lurked off and on for a while, I didn't really start commenting until the HBCU posts.

    What I learned the most is that there is a real war going on. Time is running short, the line is now drawn in the sand and you have to escape NOW. Unfortunately, I have debt and stuff to work through but this blog has inspired me to leave several stagnant and poisonous situations that people considered me crazy to leave (a good paying job that was snatching my crown and leaving me bald for a lesser paying job that is giving me the freedom to grow).

    Right now, I'm still on the front lines because I live in the hood (for now), but through this and the other BWE blogs, I know that there is a lifeline for us who are looking.

    I hope you keep this blog online just so I can pass some of your posts along to other ladies my age to read so they don't get completely sucked into the Matrix.

    Thank you so much.

    ReplyDelete
  68. AmentaSeptember 22, 2009 at 11:04 AM

    I am humbled and brought low.

    Much Love and Respect Khadija!

    Victor

    ReplyDelete
  69. zoopathSeptember 22, 2009 at 12:49 PM

    You blog was full of so much wisdom, I wish that I had been reading from the beginning. I'm sorry to see you go but I'll be waiting for the book.

    ReplyDelete
  70. AnonymousSeptember 22, 2009 at 1:12 PM

    It was a pleasure reading your blog. Good luck with everything! THANK YOU.

    ReplyDelete
  71. SapphireSeptember 22, 2009 at 2:45 PM

    This is the first time that I have ever commented. But I just wanted to say....Thank you, thank you, thank you. Because of you so much has occurred in my life. You have challenged me and helped me grow tremendously. I am now on my wildest dream tour, and I have taken back my crown because of your words of encouragement. I hope that you have a blessed life.

    ReplyDelete
  72. HarmonySeptember 22, 2009 at 4:02 PM

    Thank you for this blog, Khadija.

    I may be young, but I have learned A LOT from this blog and I will definitely remember these suggestions as I continue on with life.

    Good luck with everything in the future.

    ReplyDelete
  73. goodness80September 22, 2009 at 4:11 PM

    I'm so sad to see you leaving, but I'm excited for you on your new endeavors. Your blog is one of the few truly empowerment blogs for Black women and girls. This blog challenges me to think real hard about the many foolish errors and mistakes I hve made in my life.

    Your writings encouraged me to stop having pity for myself and my circumstances and to move on with my life in postive directions. I hope you put these posts in book form so that we can refer back to them.

    Again, thank you for begin a safe haven for Black women who needed to know the truth. May God truly bless you, for you have truly blessed us.

    Pleas leave them up so that we can go back and re-read them.

    ReplyDelete
  74. KhadijaSeptember 22, 2009 at 4:38 PM

    Nathifa, Anonymous #1, KM, Zoopath, Anonymous #2, Sapphire, Harmony, Goodness80,

    Anonymous #1, you said, "Recently, I even sat down and wrote out my my wildest dreams list, which I am working on bringing to fruition."

    KM, you said, "Unfortunately, I have debt and stuff to work through but this blog has inspired me to leave several stagnant and poisonous situations that people considered me crazy to leave (a good paying job that was snatching my crown and leaving me bald for a lesser paying job that is giving me the freedom to grow).

    Right now, I'm still on the front lines because I live in the hood (for now), but through this and the other BWE blogs, I know that there is a lifeline for us who are looking."

    Sapphire, you said, " I am now on my wildest dream tour, and I have taken back my crown because of your words of encouragement."

    Goodness80, you said, "Your writings encouraged me to stop having pity for myself and my circumstances and to move on with my life in postive directions."

    Alhamdulilah! ["Praise God!"] Truly, all that was of value from the posts was from God; only the errors were mine. I'm SO happy to hear this! Our coming together to MUTUALLY renew our thoughts and lift our spirits was the entire point of the blog. THANK YOU for contributing to this process.

    I've learned so many important things from listening to all of you. Thank you for enriching my thoughts and my life with your knowledge.

    Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    ReplyDelete
  75. KhadijaSeptember 22, 2009 at 4:41 PM

    Ensayn1/Victor,

    In terms of the work that you've been doing and the honorable stands that you have consistently taken, I strongly feel that folks need to RE-COG-NIZE! LOL!

    {deep martial arts bow in salute}

    ReplyDelete
  76. KhadijaSeptember 22, 2009 at 4:49 PM

    Everyone:

    Until this morning, I was still 25% iffy about this "convert the blog posts into a book" idea. [I'm not trying to heap more tasks onto myself these days. LOL!]

    Now, I'm fully committed to turning the blog essays into a book. Your outpouring of support has convinced me that it would be worth the effort to do so.

    So, all who are interested are invited to come back here on New Year's Day 2010. God willing, I'll have a notice posted about what's going on with the book of essays. If it's published by then, I'll be sure to also announce it in comments on other blogs. [Yes, I'll be a publicity pirate on other folks' blogs. LOL!]

    THANK YOU all for inspiring me to commit to this task!

    ReplyDelete
  77. AnonymousSeptember 22, 2009 at 4:49 PM

    farewell and good luck !

    ReplyDelete
  78. JJSeptember 22, 2009 at 7:27 PM

    Well, Shiver Me Timbers! I'll be awaiting your pirate onslaught.

    I've marked that date on my calendar.

    Ahoy!

    JJ

    ReplyDelete
  79. Taylor-SaraSeptember 22, 2009 at 7:54 PM

    Wow Khadija, I'm teary eyed thinking about losing such a wonderful inspiring sister-friend.
    Good luck in all your endeavors, and don't forget us, if you ever decide to come back, or even guest speak on my blog-I'd love to have you anytime. Will miss you tremendously.....S

    ReplyDelete
  80. KhadijaSeptember 22, 2009 at 8:36 PM

    Zindzhi,

    THANK YOU so much for your insights and participation in this gathering! Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    ReplyDelete
  81. LovebugSeptember 22, 2009 at 8:41 PM

    I just wanted to stop by and say thank you for all the words of wisdom and insight that you have imparted to so many women(myself included). You will most certainly be rewarded for your efforts. I wish you God's very best in whatever you do in the future.
    Thanks once again.

    ReplyDelete
  82. KhadijaSeptember 22, 2009 at 8:43 PM

    JJ,

    Shiver me timbers! LOL! {adjusting fake eye patch to a jaunty angle}

    Yes, I just started re-reading my already dog-eared copy of The Fine Print of Self-Publishing: The Contracts & Services of 48 Self-Publishing Companies---Analyzed, Ranked & Exposed by Mark Levine.

    Ahoy, swabbies! {deeply amused chuckle}

    ReplyDelete
  83. KaySeptember 22, 2009 at 8:55 PM

    Khadija,

    You will be missed. Your posts have been amazing and very thought provoking. I, like many of the the commenters here, wish you great happiness and success in your future endeavors.

    Warmest Regards,

    Kay

    ReplyDelete
  84. KhadijaSeptember 22, 2009 at 8:57 PM

    Sara,

    THANK YOU so much for being a steadfast voice in support of BW and girls! Even though I mostly lurk at your blog, I have learned and continue to learn so much from your insights.

    When I was still in a trance within the Matrix, you were wide awake and sounding the alarm for BW to WAKE UP and MOVE ON. Your voice has been instrumental in my awakening process over the past few years.

    I STILL distribute copies of one of your many essays that helped complete my transition from being in a trance to being fully awake. I'm referring to your blog essay dated Wednesday, March 19, 2008 entitled "Yes, we've been replaced--Now what do we do about it?..."

    Up until that point, I was still (in many ways) like the slaves you referenced who were "swaying and praying on the plantation waitin' on the sold slave to come back." I was still holding on to some obsolete and DEAD ideas until I started reading through your essays.

    I can't possibly thank you enough for how you've helped sharpen my thinking along with that of countless other BW.

    Sara, THANK YOU for all the work that you've already done, and for all the work that you continue to do for BW and girls. Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    ReplyDelete
  85. BeverlySeptember 22, 2009 at 8:59 PM

    Khadija,

    You will be missed! Thank you so much for blogging. I've learned so much from you.

    ReplyDelete
  86. KhadijaSeptember 22, 2009 at 9:10 PM

    Lovebug, Suburban Goddess,

    You're welcome; and THANK YOU all SO much for your kind words, kind thoughts, prayers, and support!

    I've learned so many important things from listening to all of you. Thank you for enriching my thoughts and my life with your knowledge.

    Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    ReplyDelete
  87. KhadijaSeptember 22, 2009 at 9:22 PM

    Beverly,

    You're welcome; and THANK YOU so much for your participation and your brilliant insights.

    I can't thank you enough for supplying what I felt has been THE MOST CRITICAL Reader's Money Quote during the entire blog.

    This was when you laid out a BRILLIANT strategy for personal economic survival and advancement during the post from February 24, 2009 entitled "Geostrategy Nerd: An Extended Reader's Money Quote From Beverly."

    I strongly urge everyone of our people who wants to survive (much less thrive) in these precarious economic times to read your suggestions from that post and TAKE HEED of what you said. Pronto!

    I also can't thank you enough for your blog, My Crazy Cool Life, and the valuable insights you've shared over there. If I remember correctly, I first heard about Tim Ferriss' book from your blog. And his book has been critical to my own personal plans.

    Finally, I must also salute the fine example that you've set for me and other AA women. The example that you set by getting up and relocating to Paris because that's where you wanted to go has been truly awe--inspiring. Your example prompted me to start upgrading my own travel plans. Without knowing it, you've been one of my lifestyle heroines!

    Beverly, THANK YOU for everything! Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    ReplyDelete
  88. AnonymousSeptember 22, 2009 at 10:08 PM

    wow...just saw this after commnenting on another post that was linked by another blog.

    Thank you for your contributions!

    Since I was away so long I still plan to read through your previous posts.

    ReplyDelete
  89. KhadijaSeptember 23, 2009 at 8:37 AM

    FemmeAutonome,

    You're welcome, and THANK YOU for your kind words and support! I truly appreciate it. Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    ReplyDelete
  90. KhadijaSeptember 23, 2009 at 8:41 AM

    Everybody,

    Now that I'm committed to this book project, I'm thinking about the marketing angles. One thing that I've decided to do is to distribute review copies to various Black-owned hair salons where BW gather.

    So I'm asking anyone who wants to help to email me the addresses of a few Black-owned hair salons in your areas. THANK YOU!

    ReplyDelete
  91. TulipSeptember 23, 2009 at 8:13 PM

    Hi, Kadhija. Sorry to hear that you're going. I enjoyed reading your blog and would have liked to get to know you better, but I can understand how it could be difficult to keep up with a blog and life, too. Good luck with your book and other future prospects.

    ReplyDelete
  92. InoSeptember 23, 2009 at 9:42 PM

    Thankyou doesn't even begin to express my gratitude for the wealth of information you've provided. Though I'm still young, I feel that I am prepared in ways I never would have been had I not discovered your blog.

    Godbless and good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  93. KhadijaSeptember 23, 2009 at 10:43 PM

    Woman of Valor, Ino,

    THANK YOU both SO much for your kind words, kind thoughts, prayers, and support!

    Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    ReplyDelete
  94. MiriamSeptember 24, 2009 at 11:35 AM

    Wow. I finally got my computer going and finally got back online. What a surprise.

    This blog was great from the beginning to the end. A very needed thing, something that will hopefully be useful way way into the future!

    Hmmmm, who will take the torch and carry it to the next run?

    ReplyDelete
  95. geekgrlSeptember 24, 2009 at 12:44 PM

    Thank you for your yearlong gift . It’s been enlightening in big and subtle ways.

    I’ve been reading BWE blogs for over a year and have applied the lessons to my life. Instead of waiting for someone to instigate action, I moved to the direction I’ve wanted to go. I’ve gone from a tight size 16 to a loose size 12, and learned to dress appropriately. I have friends who I have known since high school, who have said that the last two years, I become more confident, outgoing, and generally pretty fun to be around. And it’s all natural because these attributes are a result of my growth which you and your fellow BWE helped me reach.

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Truly BlueSeptember 24, 2009 at 2:51 PM

    Khadija,
    I am the one who sent you the link to the Cornrows and Company hair salon in D.C.

    Although many days I felt too depressed and insignificant to comment, your blog was a daily must read for me.

    Thank you for the words of wisdom, courage and strength--no one would tell me these things while I made my journey from girl to womanhood in the 70s/80s/90s. Whatever I couldn't figure out by myself, through others' experiences or find at the library, it was up to me to experience in real life, oftentimes the hard way (and then get called a 'little fool' for making any mistakes). Hopefully this blog has--and the future book will--help others not to have to travel a rough road by themselves.

    Again, I thank you for being a clarion call for women of all ages.

    --Lesa J.

    ReplyDelete
  97. KhadijaSeptember 24, 2009 at 6:26 PM

    Miriam, Geekgrl, TrulyBlue,

    You're welcome; and THANK YOU all SO much for your kind words, kind thoughts, prayers, and support!

    I've learned so many important things from listening to all of you. Thank you for enriching my thoughts and my life with your knowledge.

    Miriam, I'm also curious to see who'll pick up the torch in their own unique way(s). AAs have a bad habit of mostly passively sitting on the sidelines as spectators to their own fate. This passive spectator behavior is nonproductive in itself, and also has the unfortunate side effect of burning out those individuals who are willing to at least try to make a difference.

    [Which is why "torch bearers" have to be vigilant about attending to their own SELF-care. AAs will happily use up any "torch bearer" who allows themselves to be used up by engaging in martyrdom behaviors.]

    Geekgrl, I'm delighted to hear about the transformations that you've made in your own life. {3 z-formation finger snaps in salute} That's what this has been all about. For me, as well!

    TrulyBlue, THANK YOU so much for the information about the salon---it's exactly the sort of information I need for marketing.

    As long as we draw breath into our bodies, there is life and the possibility of not just small victories, but also ENDURING victories.

    I would urge you to look into the materials at the following site: www.conqueringstress.com. One of my coworkers had previously suffered from ongoing, long-term bouts with depression. He said that the book sold at that site [“Conquering Stress” by C.J. Green] helped him a great deal.

    [I have NO connection to that site or the book’s author.] We’ve talked about this quite a bit. In fact, from what he’s said, the ideas in that book have apparently helped him win enduring victories over anxiety and depression. I believe it might be worth looking into.

    Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    ReplyDelete
  98. kmblue's other profileSeptember 24, 2009 at 6:49 PM

    @Khadija...

    I'm considering starting my own BWE blog. I'm young but that doesn't mean anything. Sometimes, younger women are more willing to listen to someone their age.

    If you want, I'll let you know when it's up.

    ReplyDelete
  99. KhadijaSeptember 24, 2009 at 10:38 PM

    KM,

    Yes, please email me if you do decide to start your own BWE blog. I would be very interested in stopping by. *Smile*

    ReplyDelete
  100. lunanoireSeptember 25, 2009 at 7:56 AM

    Thank you so much!!!! I really mean all those exclamation points. It is refreshing to read from someone whose perspective is "The truth may be painful and upset you, but it is also liberating."

    ReplyDelete
  101. aimaySeptember 25, 2009 at 8:41 PM

    Farewell Kadijah! Thank you so much for all the time and energy you invested here. Can't wait for the book!

    ReplyDelete
  102. KhadijaSeptember 26, 2009 at 7:06 AM

    Ifetayo, Aimay,

    You're welcome; and THANK YOU for your kind words, kind thoughts, prayers, and support!

    I've learned so many important things from listening to all of you. Thank you for enriching my thoughts and my life with your knowledge.

    Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    ReplyDelete
  103. otomedreamsSeptember 26, 2009 at 9:12 AM

    Thank you and goodbye, I've been following your advice and will traveling overseas(it's always been a dream of mine) soon. I can't really think of anything to say, but I'm so glad your blog was here, I've learned so much.

    ReplyDelete
  104. AmentaSeptember 26, 2009 at 9:17 PM

    Please see the story of Mitrice Richardson. She is missing in Los Angeles after being released from the sheriff's custody around 1:25 am on 9/17/2009

    http://www.lasentinel.net/The-Disappearance-of-Mitrice-Richardson.html

    ReplyDelete
  105. KhadijaSeptember 27, 2009 at 12:26 AM

    Blackotome,

    You're welcome; and THANK YOU for your kind words, kind thoughts, prayers, and support!

    I've learned so many important things from listening to all of you. Thank you for enriching my thoughts and my life with your knowledge.

    Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]
    _______________________

    Ensayn1/Victor,

    {shaking my head in dismay} The extremely unfortunate thing is that these horror stories will only increase. The outer community, including various government services, are disconnecting from AAs and our pathologies.

    Nobody's going to babysit us anymore, nobody's going to care if we can't fend for ourselves. In this current economy and atmosphere, there is NO more margin for error for our behavior.

    People are simply not going to make time for that anymore. Various government budgets are not going to accomodate our dysfunction(s) anymore. Yesterday's LA Times had a story about several battered women's shelters being closed due to budget cuts. This story of this young woman being dumped out of the jail in the middle of the night (purportedly due to overcrowding) is one sad example of how others are pulling the plug on us.

    Peace, blessings and solidarity.

    ReplyDelete
  106. kmblue's other profileSeptember 27, 2009 at 9:56 AM

    @Khadija and anyone else who would be interested:

    My blog: http://timetokeepitreal.wordpress.com/

    I'm still working on setting it up but I added two new posts.

    ReplyDelete
  107. KhadijaSeptember 27, 2009 at 10:21 AM

    KM,

    Thanks for letting us know about this. I'm so happy to hear this. I just stopped by your blog, and it's looking good! *Smile* Keep up the good work! {raised fist salute}

    Peace, blessings and solidarity.

    ReplyDelete
  108. LaJane GaltSeptember 27, 2009 at 2:09 PM

    I just got a book I ordered that you may enjoy. True Believer: Thoughts on the Nature of Mass Movements by Eric Hoffer.

    FTR Mayor Fenty cut daycare funding/subsidies in DC.

    (wow, I still can't quit this blog)

    ReplyDelete
  109. KhadijaSeptember 27, 2009 at 7:41 PM

    And that's all, folks! *Smile* It's been a week, and I'm closing the comments section. Please feel free to email me.

    THANK YOU all for your kind words, kind thoughts, prayers, and support!

    Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!"]

    ReplyDelete

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