A family photo from Mr. Jones' Facebook page.Too many African-American women have the knee-jerk habit of blindly running to support any and all African-American males who are in trouble with Whites. You need to STOP doing that. It would better serve your interests if you learned how to take a breath, take a step back, and carefully consider whether or not the current "Black male who's in trouble with White folks" is of any real value to you before you respond.
You also need to STOP assuming that there's automatically some sort of connection between you and random African-American males. There is NO automatic connection anymore. African-American men destroyed that connection by their behavior decades ago. 'Nuff said. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Van-Jones/30042869909
***Addendum*** My main point with this is something that another blogger named Halima Anderson explained in this excellent post: http://dateawhiteguy.blogspot.com/2009/07/give-it-up-or-embrace-fruits-thereof.html
You need to understand that many African-American men are assigning YOU demeaning roles and reduced status based upon White supremacy.
This means that for many African-American males, when it comes to choosing a woman to protect and provide for they select non-Black women* as the women they pamper. But when it comes to looking for a woman to rescue them and do heavy lifting, THEN these same men look to YOU. And you cooperate with this workhorse status when you support these males!
Halima gave the excellent example of contrasting who Michael Jackson selected to reap the benefits (monetary and otherwise) of being the "mommies" of his children (a series of White women), versus who he selected to do the hard work and heavy lifting of being the "mammies" (actual caretakers) of his children (a series of Black women).
[*Also known as "Becky, Lupe, J Lo, Fatima, and Mei Ling." LOL!]
***Audience Note*** NO anonymous comments will be published for this post.
24 comments:
Handsome looking family...
Of course Van Jones is well within his rights, but let's ask ourselves some questions:
-Why should he get ANY support from BW? In addition why should Van Jones get any more consideration from the same BW as any other "Joe" walking down the street?
-Do you think this man would even spit in your general direction if on fire?
Why am I not surprised in a little bit? He can marry who ever he wants, but come on. I saw some those videos of his speaking about white people. I was under the impression he wasn't to fond of white people, to put it mildly.
This is man just profits from extreme views. The African American community has bigger issues than green jobs, like crime, domestic violence, and genocide. I'm sure he and his family live far from 'the hood'. He found is niche in the green movement and used it to gain prestige and wealth. No hate, but sometimes I wish black men would practice all this 'black love' they're always preaching to us.
CW,
Oh yeah, Mr. Jones is within his rights and may the force be with him and his family.
Here's my issue: African-American women have been programmed to rally around every random BM who gets into trouble with Whites---under the assumption that these men are somehow ENTITLED to support from AA women.
When a BM takes ALL of HIS personal worldly goods---
---(some of which were surely gained with the support or at least the encouragement of BW---think of how so many BW in the church raise money to support BM college students with stipends, etc.)---
---and gives them to a non-Black woman that he chose as his wife, then I lose interest in what happens to him.
I don't count what such a BM raises for charity, because those resources raised by charity are NOT his personal resources. It's all fine and good to give other people's donations away to Black folks. I want to see what a person does with THEIR OWN "stuff." That's the measure of what they truly value.
This is why, for all of his problems---and allegedly being a sexual predator who uses date-rape drugs on women is MONSTROUS---I have to give Bill Cosby credit where it is due for his donations. This is because Dr. Cosby came out of his OWN pocket to give that money to some HBCUs.
So, I'm not inclined to care about Van Jones and his travails. His White wife needs to speak up and speak out for him---just like Skip Gates' White wife should have been the one screaming in public over his problems. NOT AA women.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Nice family. Those kids are cute!
That aside, I don't feel one way or another about the Van Jones controversy. I know a lot of liberal and progressives are latching on to him being "thrown under the bus". However, he does not get my automatic support because he's black.
When I heard he was married to a white woman my initial thought was that it confirmed that this dude should not be classified as ally on shared race alone. So many black men are happily living Post-Racial American lives but the minute they come across any perceived unfairness they want the black community to rally behind them.
Thank you for this post! I get annoyed at how the majority of black women blindly rally behind black male "victims" of racism. Time after time, support is thrown behind black men, whether they deserve it or not, but the suffering of black women are casually ignored. Like the black woman who was beaten by cops in CA. Her attack was caught on tape, yet Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and the NAACP were all silent. There were no protests. The incident was pretty much ignored. When I compare that to the response the Jenna 6 got, I get really angry.
I think it's twisted that in the "black community" their ordeal considered more important than what happens to black women. As a result, to the general public the word racism is connected exclusively with black men! This skewed dynamics is what causes me to pause and examine anyone who wants the black people to support them on account of racism.
LaShelle,
You said, "No hate, but sometimes I wish black men would practice all this 'black love' they're always preaching to us."
Well, I want folks to do and have whatever they want (as long as it's not hurting others). I'm not looking for AA men to practice any of the "Black love" hypocrisy---I know they'll never practice it in any significant numbers.
I just want them to stop using that false "Black love" scam against BW.
_________________________
Ivy Jain,
You're welcome!
You said, "So many black men are happily living Post-Racial American lives but the minute they come across any perceived unfairness they want the black community to rally behind them."
That's my issue. Don't do the OJ, Michael Jackson, etc. routine of you only come running back to AAs (translation = the AA women who form the majority of the footsoldiers for AA organizations other than the Nation of Islam) when you're in trouble with Whites. If you're "post-racial," STAY post-racial---even after the agent of White racism knocks you in the head.
You said, "I get annoyed at how the majority of black women blindly rally behind black male "victims" of racism. Time after time, support is thrown behind black men, whether they deserve it or not, but the suffering of black women are casually ignored."
I'm also sick of this Pavlov's dogs type of reaction. And as you noted, there is NO reciprocity when it comes to addressing AA women's suffering. If AA women are stupid enough to keep blindly supporting BM who don't support them, then they get what they deserve. "Fool me twice, shame on me."
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
No, Troll...
I'm not talking about "sharing."
I'm talking about reciprocity. I'm just doing what these particular BM did. I'm taking a page out of these BM's book and following their example.
These BM are not under any obligation to give their personal worldly goods to a BW as their wife. This door of non-support swings both ways. This means that I'm also not under any obligation to give any of my resources to these men, including political support.
Van Jones, etc. took their personal worldly goods and DIVERTED these resources AWAY from BW (and toward non-Black women). In reciprocity, that means that I also have the right to DIVERT my personal resources (including my concern) AWAY from these particular BM, and toward somebody else of my choosing.
The door swings both ways. What's okay for these BM is also okay for BW. It's very simple. AA males are spoiled, and used to having it both ways---that they take their resources to non-Black women, while still expecting to receive resources from AA women.
Ummm...no. Those days are over for increasing numbers of AA women.
Good day.
"If AA women are stupid enough to keep blindly supporting BM who don't support them, then they get what they deserve. "Fool me twice, shame on me."
That's what I've been saying all along.
I'm glad you wrote this. I really want to know who's writing for my new favorite blog DBR Alert http://dbr-alert.livejournal.com/900.html
The kids are cute...but...so many black women are SHOCKED to find out Jones is married to a non-black woman and I've asked some of them why they assumed he was to begin with?
It's the INDOCTRINATION!
I'm hoping more black women will stop aligning themselves with these false ideals that offer them NOTHING in return.
Khadija,
You said, "These BM are not under any obligation to give their personal worldly goods to a BW as their wife. This door of non-support swings both ways. This means that I'm also not under any obligation to give any of my resources to these men, including political support."
That is it in a nutshell. As long as the status quo is only for the BM to scream and holler when their rights are stepped on but be TOTALLY SILENT on what happens to BW, then please stop expecting BW to come to the rescue...GAME OVER.
BMs who marry non-AAs is fine, just please make sure that the non-AA wife AND her family are the first ones PUBLICLY on the front line defending you then I may give some thought about it provided you have demonstrated that you have supported BW issues, if not, again... GAME OVER
It really is that simple.
Khadija:
"You also need to STOP assuming that there's automatically some sort of connection between you and random African-American males. There is NO automatic connection anymore."
This can't be said enough. I've absorbed this lesson and try to (gently) point it out to my parents, because that's where I got my knee-jerk behavior from, lol. They are still in the 1960's we shall overcome type of mentality. But a new day has dawned.
The only part I don't agree with is using Michael Jackson as an example of someone who only turned to the Black community when he needed help against racism. It is my understanding that MJ donated significant "personal" resources to AA organizations, charities for Africa, etc. I know he maintained relationships with Black civil rights leaders throughout his life such as Rev. Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and Farrakhan. Even though publicly he was all "I love all colors" I don't think he ever forgot where he came from. Now OJ.....
Felicia,
Yep.
____________________
Faith,
The "Pavlov's dogs"-type of conditioned response of automatically rallying around random BM must stop.
_____________________
Karen,
You said, "BMs who marry non-AAs is fine, just please make sure that the non-AA wife AND her family are the first ones PUBLICLY on the front line defending you..."
This is what I believe---these men need to have their WW and other non-Black women (AND their non-Black in-laws) out there on the front lines "standing by their men."
_____________________
Aisha,
Halima pretty much summed up my thoughts about Michael Jackson in the post I linked to in the addendum to this post.
My bottom line is that when it came to selecting women to reap whatever benefits (monetary and otherwise) came from being the mothers of his children, Michael Jackson selected a series of WW. When it came to selecting women to do the HARD WORK and HEAVY LIFTING of actually caring for these children, he selected BW as the workhorses.
So, I'm not feeling Michael Jackson.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
When I hear of these stories it really, really annoys me. I don't see any of these men speaking out in public about injustices against black women, yet they automatically get support when they are in trouble. I mean, hello? Will black women ever stop supporting these guys when they know they might not get any support back? I seriously don't see the point (though I'm aware that they might donate to charities geared toward black people, but still).
Melody,
My issue isn't particularly about this Van Jones character. I barely know who he is. I don't pay any attention to any BM unless that man has PROVEN himself to be of value to AA women. I've only heard of him because I've heard a number of foolish AA women worrying themselves about his fate. That's why I looked him up in the first place.
So, I've been emailing and passing out copies of his family photo to the AA women I've heard getting themselves into a froth about his travails. I've found that having these women actually LOOK at this picture cuts through a lot of foolish talk. A picture IS worth 1,000 words! LOL! Ladies, please email and show copies of this picture to the AA women you know who are worrying about this Van Jones individual!
I don't understand why more AA women haven't noticed the general pattern of "the 'Blacker' the talk, the Whiter the wife." I also don't understand what it'll take for more AA women to stop having these knee-jerk "rally around the random Negro male who is of UNKNOWN/LOW/NO value to BW" responses.
If it's "Fool me twice, shame on me," what is it after "Fool me DOZENS of times..." (the Black Panthers, Harry Belafonte, Julian Bond, Amiri Baraka, OJ, Michael Jackson, Skip Gates, Clarence Thomas, etc., and now this Van Jones character)?
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Khadija, I had never heard of Van Jones either until I heard bw talking about him a few days ago, saying he was being attacked by "de evil wm." The second I heard what his position was, I would have bet a very huge amount of money that he either dated non-bw exclusively or that he was married to a non-bw.
There IS a pattern here, yet so many bm think they're duping others by claiming they just "fell in love" with a non-bw. Well, they actually are duping the masses of AA women, but no one else. So many gaslighted bw will go around like zombies saying, "Well, love is just love" or "You can't help who you love," when it comes to AA men. That's another form of bm protection. I mean, if that's TRUE and bm can't help who THEY love, then why is it that so many AA obviously can stop themselves from loving wm?
PREDICTION: I want any bw reading this to just know that virtually ANY bm who she knows who is upwardly-mobile IS on his way to a non-bw if it's at all possible. He may be your son, your brother, cousin, young man at your church, but IF he's upwardly mobile, he more than likely is going to share his upward mobility with a non-bw. I'm not talking about those "struggling" or defeated bm; I'm talking about the ones who more than likely are going to do okay.
Knowing this, you, as an AA woman, need to decide how much you're willing to invest in creating a non-bw's comfortable lifestyle because whatever you do to help him, he's going to share it with her--if it's within his environment to do so.
It's not the non-bw's fault though; it's mainly bw's fault for not demanding reciprocity from bm and for continuing to invest in the well-being of others while her own daughters perish.
You may not care about that, but don't act surprised about any of this because it doesn't make bw look smart--since other folks can clearly see the pattern. If you haven't seen this pattern, ask yourself why you haven't.
This is not about bw's "attitude" and nothing to do with bw having "too much education," or any of the usual excuses that AA males give.
These males PREFER non-bw, which is their perogative as long as they don't get any investment, support, or protection from bw. That's the critical piece here: the MONEY TRAIL. Bw--GET SHREWD! Always follow the money trail! Do not invest in lifting up a bm unless he knows there are strings attached and only if you're going to be able to collect.
If we were to look into this man's past, we would see where it was mainly countless bw's time, energy, money, guidance, and protection that put him in his position. We definitely know that it wasn't any other group of women who lifted him up.
As an aside, regarding the complaint that many bm give these days that bw have/pursue too much education, isn't it just obvious that there are PLENTY of AA women who have never set foot in a college? Just google the stats. Yet these male do NOT pursue those women to marry EITHER. I never hear bw rebut that paper-thin excuse by pointing that out.
Also, there are PLENTY of AA women who like to cook and would love to be stay-at-home-moms. They would not be fighting any man over a job. These women WANT to play the woman's traditional role as long as the man can and will play the male's traditional role. Yet AA males constantly complain that AA women don't know how or won't cook and/or don't want to play the traditional role. Bw never rebut that paper-thin excuse either.
From my viewpoint and experience, AA women don't ask for much AT ALL compared to other groups of women I've lived among. Just talk to wm and African men about what ww, African women, and other groups of women require from them.
Evia,
Your comment deserves its own separate conversation. Thanks for contributing yet another Reader's Money Quote!
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Yes, many of us were and still are under the impression that most bm are on our side.
Actually, I believe most of us know better; but, is either to ashame, to scared or simply cannot believe our own eyes.
Many of us would be blown away if we knew how some bm that we hold in high regard really feel about the majority of bw.
The majority of bm I have talked with are too quick to defend why other bm date other race women. One guy suggests that we bw want whatever it is we are seeking up front, while the other race woman will play up to a bm and pamper him. After the pampering he says then a bm will be more than willing to give whatever it is to the woman.
Even my bw foreign born supervisor agreed with him. Women should play up to the man. Who pampers a bm more than a bw? WTH? She should shut the heck up because there is a difference between most foreign born bm and AA men. This woman is praying her daughters do not marry an AA man. But, it is OK for AAw.
Where is the millon woman march to support AA women?
Khadija said:
"This means that for many African-American males, when it comes to choosing a woman to protect and provide for they select non-Black women* as the women they pamper. But when it comes to looking for a woman to rescue them and do heavy lifting, THEN these same men look to YOU. And you cooperate with this workhorse status when you support these males!"
Evia said:
"PREDICTION: I want any bw reading this to just know that virtually ANY bm who she knows who is upwardly-mobile IS on his way to a non-bw if it's at all possible."
These are some stone cold truths right there.
In general:
I started peeping things with the Oscar Grant murder. I noticed all these bp coming out about this guy and not one word from his non-bw common law wife. Much later on I think that she sent her sister out to speak on her behalf.
But you are right it does look idiotic when BW are championing these men when their own wives and new "adopted communities" who are reaping the benefits of their resources directly aren't saying 'boo' in their defense.
Lol Thanks for this Khadija. You know what, I think on some level bw doing all this knee jerk rallying are trying to buy bm's affection.
They think if they pour out themselves for black men, these men will just be so touched they cant help but return love to such women who are so devoted to them.
Well you and I know how that one plays out lol!
Many bw are acting from a place of social standing defcit. Now if you ask them they will swear they love their lips, hair and all that spiel, but forget all that protestation, and just note their actions. clearly in this case, theirs is the MO of women who feel they do not deserve or are not entitled to affection they have to earn it or buy it.
aann4950,
You said,"Yes, many of us were and still are under the impression that most bm are on our side.
Actually, I believe most of us know better; but, is either to ashame, to scared or simply cannot believe our own eyes.
Many of us would be blown away if we knew how some bm that we hold in high regard really feel about the majority of bw."
How can any AA woman honestly claim not to know that most AA men hate AA women? They tell us this every single day with their words and actions (Ne-Yo, Yung Berg, the Negro male comedians that supported Don Imus in referring to BW as "nappy headed h***, etc.).
You said, "The majority of bm I have talked with are too quick to defend why other bm date other race women."
As far as I'm concerned, there's no need for BM to "defend" why they date and marry out. Everybody is perfectly free to do what they want. My issue is that BM need to stop trying to block BW from following BM's lead and ALSO dating and marrying out.
______________________
Aphrodite,
You said, "But you are right it does look idiotic when BW are championing these men when their own wives and new "adopted communities" who are reaping the benefits of their resources directly aren't saying 'boo' in their defense."
Yes, it makes these AA women look like the fools that they are!
_________________________
Halima,
You're welcome and THANK YOU for your ongoing work and analysis!
As you described, the BW who foolishly support these types of BM aren't fooling anybody about the pathetic nature of their TRUE motives. Furthermore, their idiotic support of these men has not gained then anything in the past; and it WON'T gain them anything in the present or future.
Well, I'm asking silly BW women to consider the following questions:
1-Will you keep blindly rushing to support prominent AA males when nearly ALL of them are with Becky, Lupe, J Lo, Fatima, and Mei Ling? You see where the trend line is going with prominent and/or successful AA males. You see who it is that they're hooking up with.
2-At what point (if ever) are you going to start looking out for your own interests?
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
"I don't understand why more AA women haven't noticed the general pattern of "the 'Blacker' the talk, the Whiter the wife."
I am Kalinga! (I'm Gonna Git You Sucka)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNBt4srCn84
Felicia,
That "comedy" clip was sickening---
---I think about the BW activists (nobody ever talks about how many BW activists were raped, gangraped, etc. by racist police in the South and elsewhere)---,
---and the handful of sincere BM activists from that era---
---who were injured and killed due to their participation in the 1960s struggles...
But unfortunately, that clip is also fairly representative of many of the BM activists from that and other eras.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
seeing that this issue is about his perceived racism, how come is wife has not come out to publicly speak on his behalf, stating that she is not married to a racist. okay, let's say she hates being the the public eye - alright then, she can at least write an opinion piece or something about her views - at least. if she can't come out to defend him, i personally as a black woman, won't go ahead and stick my neck out for him. i am sure that if it were any other black woman he was married to, she would have been visibly by his side, taking the punches as well. the whole situation is quite pathetic.
Nneoma,
Why should Mrs. Jones be bothered with any of that? There's no need for her to lift a finger. BW are already doing her work for her---BW are busy screaming in support of her husband. The same way some BW are still screaming about Mrs. Skip Gates' husband.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
***Audience Note***
I think we've covered all the important angles with this particular topic. So, I'm going to close the comments to this post in a few minutes.
Onward and forward to the current topic.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
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