Lessons Repeat Until They Are Learned

Introduction To All Posts:

Black women’s problems with Black men started in Africa LONG before the arrival of the Arab man and the White man. 

Black men have been betraying Black women since BEFORE the White man ever came to Africa. If you haven’t already done so, please read the following 2 posts:

This Is An Ancient Betrayal - BM Have Been Betraying BW Since BEFORE The WM Ever Came To Africa, Part 1

This Is An Ancient Betrayal, Part 2 - African Art & Dance Document BM's ANCIENT & ETERNAL Betrayal of BW

And now on to today’s post.

Blog readers have brought the latest BW-related social media kerfuffle to my attention. I’ve seen various references to it online, but I didn’t see anything that I felt was worth additional commentary regarding this debacle until I watched Breukelen Bleu’s latest YouTube video WHO WAS AT THE GATE: A CASE STUDY, (which is an educational case study about the MUCH larger issues behind the latest debacle). 

At the end of the video, Bleu makes the very real point that the first betrayal—that began thousands of years ago—that set Black women (BW) up to be in the extremely vulnerable, despised and oppressed position that we are now collectively in was BW’s betrayal of the sisterhood. It was BW’s mass betrayal of other BW in favor of Black males that set BW up for what Bleu refers to as “the Pimparchy” (BM pimp BW instead of doing the hard work of protecting, providing, producing and problem-solving that actual patriarchs do). 

THIS IS TRUE. And the question that Bleu asks throughout the video is on point: Yes, “who WAS at the gate?” in terms of protecting BW. And internally, far too many times, BW have NOT “been at the gate” to protect other BW from attacks. As I’ll explain later in this post, this failure/refusal to “be at the gate” protecting the other BW who have protected you is one of the dots that can be connected to this latest social media debacle “dot.” 

I’ll add another spiritual law tagline that I think BW need to keep in mind: Lessons repeat until they are learned. 

For the purposes of this post, I’ve decided to imitate certain aspects of the way Bleu discusses this debacle. I believe there were specific behavior patterns (as demonstrated in specific incidents that I’ll mention and give “receipts” to in links) that led up to this debacle. But my point is about the larger lessons to be learned, as opposed to the specific incidents themselves. 

So, in light of this decision, in this post I’ll make references to “the Girl Who Swirls” instead of calling out her name. Additionally, there’s no need to recite the details of the “debacle” because everybody knows what happened with that. 

*As the first point of bookkeeping, please note that Evia, blog host of Black Female Interracial Marriage ezine was the blogger who came up with the very descriptive phrase “perpetually surprised.” A phrase that perfectly sums up how many African-American BW react to BM’s repeated transgressions against BW.

**As the second point of bookkeeping, let me note for the record that I’m not a friend or supporter OR enemy of “the Girl Who Swirls.” I’m not her friend or supporter because she backstabbed me and some other early BWE writers several years back. 

Many of y’all in the reading audience are fans of “dark wisdom.” Given that fact, I just know that you won’t come at me with any of that silly “lightworker” mess (as you call it) expecting me to forgive the Girl Who Swirls’ betrayal of the early BWE bloggers—the same BW bloggers who helped her (in front and behind the scenes) promote her No Wedding No Womb campaign. Ummm, NO. You can’t possibly expect me to be dumb enough to do that. And you don’t have to be a dark wisdom supporter in order to reject being a patsy and a mark. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) taught that “a believer does not allow himself to be stung twice from one (and the same) hole.” 

I’m not a friend or supporter of “the Girl Who Swirls,” but I’m also not an enemy of hers. If I were an enemy, I wouldn’t have done the post This is NOT Legal Advice. As I’ve said over the years when it’s come up, I’m indifferent to her. 

So, with all of the above in mind, here’s my 2₵ about the “the debacle.” 

I don’t feel that “the debacle” was that huge a mistake in the overall scheme of things 

I’ve seen the headlines to the seemingly zillions of gloating YouTube videos that those who hate “the Girl Who Swirls” have made in the aftermath of her recent error in judgment. Yes, the decisions she made that led up to the debacle were some bad choices that ultimately led to a racist WM being “put on.” Maybe I’m missing something about this, but I don’t feel that this error in judgment or the related fallout constitute any sort of “comeuppance” or defeat. Here’s why: 

First, seeing BM race to reward some WM bum for bashing BW has been eye-opening for those BW who were still confused about whether or not BM as a collective are mortal enemies to BW. 

Second, NOBODY has done more to uplift, promote and make possible a proverbial king’s ransom of money for nonblacks than Black males. For just one example, many younger African-Americans don’t even know that Jennifer Lopez ($300 million net worth)  and Jim Carrey ($150 million net worth) were given their first big break by a negro male—Keenan Ivory Wayans ($65 million net worth), co-creator of In Living Color. 

I won’t even get into the countless additional examples of the negro males who “put on” and made Fergie ($45 million net worth), Pink ($70 million net worth) and a slew of other nonblacks very, VERY rich. The list is endless. There’s no comparison between the extreme wealth that negro males have consistently made possible for J.Lo, Jim Carrey and the rest of them versus whatever coins some WM bum has been able to get from YouTube after being publicized by “the Girl Who Swirls.” 

Come on, now. The bitter BM haters and BW handmaidens are reaching when they try to blow this incident up out of proportion to negro males’ long-term, documented track record of creating riches for nonblacks who denigrate Blacks. 

Refusal to accept feedback and correction leads to repeating lessons 

Effective activism requires mentors, or at minimum peers. Not fangirls who will cheerlead any goofy decision one makes (and who will usually turn on you later down the road). It also requires a willingness to take correction. When you refuse to take correction, you set yourself up to repeat various lessons over and over again. 

 I’ve been blessed during my BWE activism to have some peers that have corrected me behind the scenes. They’ve caught my hand a couple of times and have prevented me from making what would have been some extra errors in judgment. [Everybody has made at least a few mistakes in every endeavor they’ve participated in.] But this worked because I was willing to consider good-faith critiques and take correction from my peers.

Looking in from the outside, it seems pretty clear to me that either “the Girl Who Swirls” doesn’t have any blogging peer advisers that she consults with on a regular basis before making some of these decisions or she’s not listening to them (not willing to take critique and correction from them).

Here’s my train of thought with all of that: 

When “the Girl Who Swirls” engaged in a pattern and practice of sitting back and passively allowing BWE opponents to use her blog comment section to denigrate BWE bloggers’ and our work, she was NOT “standing at the gate” to protect her BW-centric blogger colleagues. Lessons repeat until they are learned. 

When “the Girl Who Swirls” refused to accept private feedback and correction about this behavior pattern, she was NOT “standing at the gate” to protect her BW-centric blogger colleagues. Lessons repeat until they are learned. 

When “the Girl Who Swirls” without my permission published a highly-edited (edited by her) portion of my private reply email conversation with her, she was NOT “standing at the gate” to protect her BW-centric blogger colleagues. Lessons repeat until they are learned. 

When “the Girl Who Swirls” refused to accept feedback and correction about the folly of giving one-sided support to the Redtails movie that erased BW from their own history, she was NOT “standing at the gate” to protect her fellow BW. Lessons repeat until they are learned. 

When “the Girl Who Swirls” did all of the above and put on a big show of publicly playing victim [with some revisionist history about what had actually happened between her and several early BWE bloggers] for her blog audience, she was NOT “standing at the gate” for BW. Lessons repeat until they are learned. 

Most importantly in terms of not having to repeat lessons: 

When “the Girl Who Swirls” did all of the above, she broke fellowship with multiple BW-centric blogging peers and THREW AWAY a source of good-faith feedback that would’ve prevented her from having to learn so many BW-centric activism lessons the hard way! 

Lessons repeat until they are learned. 

Like I said, it seems pretty clear to me that either “the Girl Who Swirls” doesn’t have any peers that she consults with on a regular basis before making some of these decisions or she’s not listening to them. Because if she did, she would STOP endangering her children’s lives by flossing photos of them and giving her huge numbers of deranged haters so many personal details about where her children can be found. Now, THIS is a lesson that I hope and pray does not have to repeat. 

As I said, I’m not a friend, supporter OR enemy to “the Girl Who Swirls.” I’m indifferent to her. I’m somebody who will never put myself in a position for her to backstab me again. She’s never apologized or done anything to try to “make right” regarding the above-mentioned transgressions. I’m not going to get “stung from the same hole” twice. But I do care about the safety of children. Especially the safety of Black girls and young women.

“The Girl Who Swirls” has already complained in the past about the male perverts who’ve sent in disgusting comments about her oldest daughter. Since she knows those malicious freaks are out there, why does she continue to give them so much information about her children? If any of y’all in the audience are truly friends with “the Girl Who Swirls,” then I hope you’ll urge her to STOP putting out so much information about her children. Every time I see somebody flossing their children online, I say a prayer for those children’s safety. 

Anyhoo, similar dynamics apply across the board. Lessons repeat until they are learned. 

I recall being disappointed years back to see a number of long-time BWE blog readers who ran out to support the Redtails movie that erased BW from their own history. These readers just couldn’t comprehend why BWE writers took issue with BW supporting that movie. When the topic came up for discussion, some of them even played dumb and pretended not to know what basic ideas like reciprocity and BW putting their interests first meant. Lessons repeat until they are learned. 

The lessons repeated with various Anti-BW Hate Campaigns Disguised As Movies such as Straight Out Of Compton. The lessons repeated, and some of these same women finally caught a clue by the time it came to the BM director-rapist’s movie Birth Of A Nation. Praise God! 

We ALL live and hopefully learn. We ALL have human frailties (as I discussed in THIS post). 

Sometimes people don’t have the emotional resources to entertain negative feedback and correction. Sometimes people are too caught up in youthful arrogance to entertain negative feedback and correction. 

I know for myself that I find the youthful arrogance routine to be triggering (as they say in modern psychobabble talk). I find it triggering because it has taken me YEARS to clean up and correct a life-damaging 20+ year detour created by the absence of active guidance from my mother. As Rev. Della Reese correctly said in one of her sermon podcasts, “Learning life lessons by trial and error is hard on the body and soul.” It’s so much better to learn by good guidance and mentoring. So, I don’t understand the degree of youthful arrogance that Young (& Usually) Suffering BW display. As a teenager and young woman, I listened to and was thankful for the few pearls of good guidance that the older women around me gave. 

The TL;DR version of my my 2₵ about the “the debacle.” 

The so-called debacle is not that bad. Not at all like the way Bitter BM Haters and their Handmaidens want to pretend. 

Seems to me that the debacle is most likely the result of either: (1) not having any blogging peer advisors that she consults with on a regular basis before making some decisions; or of (2) not listening to them (an unwillingness to take critique and correction from them). 

Refusal to accept good-faith feedback and correction leads to repeating lessons. 

Lessons repeat until they are learned. 

We ALL live and hopefully learn. 

As noted in THIS post, The BWE movement’s message has become mainstream and has WON. There’s no going back to the way things were pre-BWE.

Black Women’s Self-Esteem Emergency — I’m Republishing Angry Deva’s Post

Introduction To All Posts:

Black women’s problems with Black men started in Africa LONG before the arrival of the Arab man and the White man. 

Black men have been betraying Black women since BEFORE the White man ever came to Africa. If you haven’t already done so, please read the following 2 posts:

This Is An Ancient Betrayal - BM Have Been Betraying BW Since BEFORE The WM Ever Came To Africa, Part 1

This Is An Ancient Betrayal, Part 2 - African Art & Dance Document BM's ANCIENT & ETERNAL Betrayal of BW

And now on to today’s post.

Ladies, let THIS Facebook post by Angry Deva be a lesson:

I’m republishing Angry Deva’s Facebook post because the type of subtle confused thinking she describes is a hidden emergency! Too many African-American women are going around rejecting and destroying various blessings under the mistaken belief that they’re being “practical.”

Look at what this poor woman lost because she didn’t think highly enough of herself:

Angry Deva's: The Dark Divine Feminine

14 hrs · 

Dark Magic 101 Emergency:

A sister shared with me that her man proposed. She is upset that her ring cost him $10,000 and they are still renting. She feels like he should have put that money toward a down payment and gotten her a cheaper ring.

And now he doesn't want to marry her..... At all. With any kind of ring.

When I tell you all, the Feminine is Valuable and to be Valued? I mean that, it even applies to YOU!!! Honey, he doesn't even want to talk to her anymore. Because she cannot see herself as WORTHY of this $10,000 ring. He can't handle the idea of being with a woman who doesn't want her man to spoil her. He is already making great money, set to make even more and he wanted to invest in her. He already had a plan for their home investment; and she never bothered to find any of that out. Smh unprepared and under-prepared, vs savvy, cunning and stealth. The bw's self esteem issues and unwilingness to see herself as the FIRST, bites her in the butt.

Your ego is only a problem when it sabotages you. You need a big healthy ego, to be successful in anything. Insecurity breeds failure and contempt. As we see here.

Because of this, I am hosting a show tonight on the URGENT importance of REAL Dark Wisdom, and Occult Science. And I will be discussing which Dark Angel snatched her Good Fortune from her; for her dishonor of the First Cause and First Principle in my Dark Magic 101 class. Sign up here:

The fiasco Angry Deva described in this post is the result of the trickbag brainwashing that far too many Black women (African-American women in particular) have been subjected to. 

The masses of nonblack women would accept that $10,000 ring as what is DUE to them based on their personal VALUE as women. Even a pole dancer like Melania Trump. By contrast, most African-American women have been raised and brainwashed to not feel entitled to such things. And we call that particular deficit “being practical.” 

It’s the same warped thinking that has too many of us locked into false equality talk and thought patterns. I talked about this in the 2009 post The Sojourner's Path: Reject False Egalitarianism And Cultivate Your SUPERIOR Traits. [Some of y’all should take the time to browse the archives of the earlier BWE writers. We left them open for a reason. {smile}]

LIFE IS NOT FAIR OR EQUAL -- Everything And Everybody Are NOT The Same

The first thing that aspiring Sojourners must understand is that real life is not fair or equal. In fact, life is filled with naturally-occurring, lopsided ratios! In order to survive and thrive, we must position ourselves on the WINNING side of these ratios.

[. . . ] WHAT ALL OF THIS MEANS FOR AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN
1. Stop Pretending That These Ratios Don't Exist

No matter how much African-Americans weep, wail, and gnash our teeth, these skewed ratios will continue to dominate real life. Nature is filled with imbalances. Everybody is NOT the same. In any field, by any measure, there are only a FEW outstanding people. Whatever "it" is, there will be a sea of relativemediocrity with only a handful of standouts in either direction (good or bad).

A critical point about this angle is to look at what a group's "baseline" is. A group's collective baseline is how you measure that group's general success or failure. Some collective baselines are MUCH higher than others. There's the mediocrity of being a lower-middle class person when your ethnic group is mostly affluent. [Oh, you can probably guess which ethnic/religious group I'm thinking of.] And then there's the mediocrity of being a poor, fatherless, African-American person who was born out of wedlock. If the odds are that you'll be mediocre, would you rather be "mediocre" in the sense of the first group or "mediocre" in the second group?

Most African-Americans resist the reality of these ratios because we're used to being on the losing side of these numbers. In fact, we've embraced a collective "loser" identity. 

It never occurs to us that we have it within us to be SUPERIOR regarding anything that matters. It never occurs to us that we can be on the winning side of these ratios.

So, we have a mindset of trying to pretend that everything and everybody is the same. Pretending that everybody's "equal." So, we have a mindset of trying to coerce the "winners" into giving the "losers" (that would be us) large slices of their "pies." We want to try to force situations into an artificial, false veneer of "equality."

This is only a temporary solution to disparities and inequalities. It will always fail in the long-run because these ratios will always exist. And unless a group raises its collective "baseline," they will always be disadvantaged relative to others. They will continue to lose. Not only have African-Americans failed to raise our collective baseline, but we've allowed it to plummet.

Over the past few decades we've started saying things like "BMW = Black Man Working." What do these sorts of expressions say to the world about our baseline? Our collective's baseline is currently at ground level. And it will fall through the floor once the Endless Night of Permanent Underclass Status becomes entrenched.
2. Understand That "Equality Talk" Is A Subtle Trap

Equality talk is actually a subtle mental trap. If you really believe that"things aren't any better anywhere else," then you have no incentive to move anywhere to seek a better living environment. If you really believe that you're "the same" as everybody else, then you're not going to cultivate those traits of yours that are actually superior to the masses. And so on across the board.

All of this stems from embracing a mass loser self-identity. Equality talk is usually heard coming from losers who are trying to convince themselves that they have some merit. Winners don't talk that equality talk. Now, gracious winners might publicly engage in equality talk so as to not upset the losers around them; but that equality stuff is NOT their self-image. People who are winning feel that they have superior skills or traits that enable them to win. Losers feel that they were lucky to win.
3. Use These Ratios To YOUR Advantage. Embrace And Cultivate Your SUPERIOR Traits!

I often praise God for my parents. In terms of raising us, they were NOT for that false equality mess. Egalitarianism was not for their children. They never wanted us to be "equal" with anybody. They wanted our points of SUPERIORITY to shine brightly!

Ladies, stop thinking like losers who have to scramble for scraps! You can position yourself to be a winner who takes all! This applies across the board. From one's personal life to one's financial life. Keep in mind the fact that some people actually made a LOT of money during the Great Depression.

There are general things about us as Black women that are actually SUPERIOR to other women. You already know many of these traits, but somehow most of you don't take these things to heart and work with them to your advantage. I don't understand this behavior.

This includes surface beauty traits. You know that we generally age better than other women. You know that our complexions usually have a glow and vitality that others admire. You really KNOW that other people admire our curves! Non-Blacks have noticed and commented on all of this. Why don't YOU seem to know this? Why don't you cultivate these advantages?

[I know. . . Lord, I know it angers some of you, but I'm going to ask: Why persist in hiding your God-given curves under extra weight? I never said that it was easy. Don't you remember me complaining and whining every step of the way during the workout check-in posts? I'mstill complaining about being sore, tired, etc. I complain, but I keep working out.]

This includes inner beauty traits. Generally speaking, African-American women are resourceful. We are industrious. We are intensely loyal. The problem is that we've got all of these traits harnessed in support of unworthy causes, goals and people.

There are specific things about YOU as an individual that are SUPERIOR to most others. Are you ready to embrace and cultivate your superior traits? Are you ready to be a winner who takes all?

Ladies, don’t be like the woman in Angry Deva’s post. Instead—Embrace, cultivate and expect a SUPERIOR lifestyle!

I Agree With Brandy McCarley — If You Value Your Health As A Black Woman, You Will Too

Introduction To All Posts:

Black women’s problems with Black men started in Africa LONG before the arrival of the Arab man and the White man. 

Black men have been betraying Black women since BEFORE the White man ever came to Africa. If you haven’t already done so, please read the following 2 posts:

This Is An Ancient Betrayal - BM Have Been Betraying BW Since BEFORE The WM Ever Came To Africa, Part 1

This Is An Ancient Betrayal, Part 2 - African Art& Dance Document BM's ANCIENT & ETERNAL Betrayal of BW

And now on to today’s post:

Since it’s impossible to talk about these matters without listing one’s “I support justice for gays and lesbians” street cred, here are some links to posts where I’ve denounced African-Americans’ mass bigotry against gays and lesbians. 

The Catalog Of Ethical Insanity, Part 1: Down Low Detectives & Down Low Enablers 

Home Is Where The Hate Is, Part 1: Black Religious-Inspired Bigotry In Place of Godliness

I also mention this fake-religious based bigotry against gays and lesbians on page 44 of my book.

I discussed gay activism-related issues in these posts: 

Portraits in Activism: Larry Kramer 

“And The Band Played On,” 21st Century Edition—TheTriumph of Sexual Liberation Ideology Over Common Sense & Sometimes OverLife Itself

I was one of those rare straight African-Americans (especially rare for a Muslim Black Nationalist, which is what I was at that point in time) who spoke out in favor of justice for lesbians and gays long before it became acceptable to do so. I spoke out—and had lots of silly Black folks looking at me cross-eyed—back in the 1980s and early 1990s. During the AIDs plague. So, for those straight African-American Black women (AABW) who are addicted to caping for gays, lesbians and trans-individuals, please try to refrain from accusing me of anti-gay bigotry. 

It’s been pretty clear to me that these sexual minority movements are NOT about basic justice for gays and lesbians anymore. They haven’t been about basic justice for a long time. I’d say for at least the past 10 or so years. See the posts, 

African-American Women: They Hate You BECAUSE You Cape For Them 

Y'all UNprotected, DISrespected African-American Black Women Really Need To Stop Caping For Cross-Dressing Men

At this point, these sexual minority movements are about grabbing the political power and influence necessary to shove active approval of homosexuality down everybody else’s throat. And since African-American Black women (AABW) are totally unprotected by the straight males of our ethnic group, homosexual and bisexual males—just like everybody else—feel comfy and cozy while disrespecting and attacking us. We’re the safest scapegoat for them to use for venting their frustrations. 

Ladies, please take a look at the comments to THIS Facebook post by a self-described “openly bisexual” Black man named Siete Saudades. I originally found his Facebook page by following links. From what I’ve read so far, he supports justice for Black women regarding various issues. 

But—and unfortunately there’s always a “but” when it comes to so-called allies of Black women—in the above-referenced Facebook thread he insults a BW reader named Brandy McCarley (first by calling her old enough to be his mother) when she says “I personally don’t want any man that has slept with other men.” 

This mess is what he and some of the other commenters said in response to her comment:

According to Siete Saudades and his cyber-gang of fans, it’s no longer enough for you to live and let others live. Many of these people want to force the rest of us to actively cheerlead their various sexual feelings, orientations and identities. While they simultaneously deny YOU the right to YOUR feelings, orientation and preferences. The way they ganged up on and denied Brandy McCarley her right to HER feelings and dating preferences.

According to Siete Saudades and his fans, heterosexual Black women are NOT entitled to screen Men Who Have Sex With Men out of their dating pools. 

THIS is the message these people conveyed when they attacked Brandy McCarley in that thread. Everybody has a right to their dating and mating preferences except BW. 

Even when—let’s be REAL about this—dating and sexing Black Men Who Have Sex With Men is extremely dangerous to one’s health because of the increased odds of sexing a HIV-infected person.

You can read the CDC reports for yourself. HIV is not a joke. A lot of you young’uns have a blasé attitude about HIV and AIDS because of modern medications. I don’t. I’m proud to say that I am old enough to be Siete Saudades’ mother. I lived through the plague years of the 1980s and 1990s. As I said in another post from 2009:

Many Gay Black Male Activists Are SOLELY Focused On Avoiding Accountability For Their Group's Part In The Spread of HIV/AIDS---They DON'T Care About Public Health Or Safety

It's been disturbing to see that many gay Black male activists don't seem to comprehend the ethical insanity of down low gay men deceiving women, using them as involuntary cover stories, and thereby endangering these women's lives without their knowledge. Let's get real: Most women across the board are not going to insist upon their husbands wearing condoms. Period. The only thing many gay Black male activists are focused on is ducking and dodging having any level of accountability for this plague being assigned to gay/bisexual Black men.

I've read all sorts of utterly irresponsible statements from gay Black male commenters and activists. I'll just mention one such activist named Keith Boykin. I read his book Beyond The Down Low: Sex, Lies, and Denial in Black America. His book is basically several hundred pages of "Don't blame us gay/bisexual Black men for being involved in spreading this plague." Read the following essay to get the flavor of the book. 10 Things You Should Know About the DL

No matter what the issue (violent crime, drug addiction, etc.), irresponsible African-American "thinkers" consistently argue that focusing on eliminating our own destructive behavior is a distraction from the so-called REAL issue. And somehow the so-called "real" issue is always something that is outside of our control. This posture of ducking and dodging any responsibility for the negative results caused by negative behaviors is a tradition. It's a tradition with African-American males, and the African-American collective in general. Protecting an image is more important than the African-American lives that are lost. This posture is ethically insane.

I noted the following in the post Dystopia Now,Part 4: Get Away From Atlanta & Keep Your Daughters Away From Historically Black Colleges & Universities:

The “AIDS faces” are going to make a comeback in the not-too-distant future

I was in high school and college during the 1980s.

I saw AIDS wipe out an entire generation of gay men of all races and those straight African-Americans (and others) who got caught up in that plague.

I saw the 1994 [M]Essence cover story featuring Rae Lewis-Thornton’s struggle with HIV/AIDS. That poor woman has been suffering ever since.

I saw how Blacks had NO organized, effective, or even honest mass response to the AIDS plague. 

I saw how Black activists were more interested in passively discussing conspiracy theories than in mobilizing to (1) help afflicted Black folks or (2) protesting to speed up the search for medication and a cure. 

During the 1980s and 1990s, I saw how White gay men (such as playwright and activist Larry Kramer) in groups such as ACT-UP were the only demographic consistently speaking out and protesting to speed up the medical research needed to invent HIV/AIDS medications. 

I can’t emphasize enough that  Black folks living with HIV/AIDS (including straight Blacks) owe the (mostly White) gays who participated in ACT-UP a great debt. These medications wouldn't have been as available without their efforts. And I don't recall seeing or hearing of many Black gays participating in those initiatives. 

I remember what friends and I at the time referred to as the “AIDS faces” [facial lipoatrophy] and the wasted away-scarecrow-like “AIDS look” that many of the infected people had during that era.

All of this was before there were the modern “facial filler” cosmetic surgeries and modern medications that help HIV/AIDS-infected persons maintain a more or less normal facial appearance. 

Medical care is expensive. During an era of economic decline, many medications and procedures become too expensive for the average person. 

Unfortunately, I expect those “AIDS faces” to make a comeback in the not-too-distant future. If you’re wise, you’ll take preventive action right now to make sure you and your loved ones never have “AIDS faces.” 

Ladies, anybody who’s telling you that you don’t have the right to screen any particular category of men out of your personal dating pool is NOT any kind of ally or friend to you. They’re an enemy. An enemy who’s trying to browbeat you into putting somebody’s else’s interests over your own. Tune them out. 

The life you save by ignoring these people, their ideology and their attempts to pressure you might be your own.