In between working on my latest novel, I’ve glanced
at a couple of articles that tie into something that a friend and I have been
discussing lately. Here are the articles:
White Women’s “Wedding Season of Life” Runs From Around
Age 24-28
Leaving aside the details of these two celebrities’ personal lives, their fertility problems point out a bigger problem that has gone unnoticed among most African-American Black women (AABW). Here’s what most AABW don’t fully comprehend because we tend to have such segregated social lives:
Middle-class, professional, reasonably attractive White
women’s “wedding season of life” is
from age 24-28 years old. More or less. This is the normal—and really, optimal—age
range for this particular life experience in a modern, industrialized society
like the U.S. For middle class White American women, this is a season of life in
which they’re almost constantly serving as bridesmaids in
their female friends’ and relatives’ weddings.
What I’ve noticed is that the few AABW who do get
married to AA Black males are for the most part getting married approximately a decade later than their WW
peers. AABW who marry AA Black males are getting married a decade later because
of African-American Black males’ anti-family values and refusal to offer
marriage to Black women, including the women they impregnate and shack up with.
Let’s remember, it’s the man who proposes and offers
marriage to the woman. It’s not like there’s ever been a bunch of AABW refusing
marriage proposals. NO, what’s been happening for decades is that AA negro
males have been withholding the opportunity for marriage. So, please let’s not
play dumb and pretend that the lack of marriage among AAs is due to AABW
refusing Black males’ proposals.
Doing Things “Out of Season” Creates Unnecessary
Hardships in Life
Doing things “out of season” creates unnecessary
difficulties in life. Contrary to new school Fantasy Island ideology, there
really are seasons in life. It’s best and
easiest to do things during their proper season. It’s often possible to do
things late, but doing things late typically increases the difficulty involved
ten-fold:
Balancing work and getting a G.E.D. is much harder than simply staying in high
school and graduating at the normal age and stage of life.
Balancing work, parenting responsibilities and college
is much harder than getting your
undergrad degree before [getting married and] having children.
Similar negative dynamics apply to women who get
married a decade after the optimal professional American woman age range of 24-28.
Delaying marriage until one’s 30s increases the odds of fertility problems.
This delay also means that both parties are coming to the marriage with a different
“head space”—they’re coming to the marriage more set in their own ways after having spent an extra decade living as a
single adult who didn’t have to factor anybody else into their decisions. This
is not particularly conducive to the cooperation needed for successful married
life.
These older marriage ages among AABW (and the
quality of life penalties created by these older marriage ages) are caused by
AA negro males’ anti-family values and resistance to marriage.
Here’s another “quality of life penalty” that a lot
of AABW who restrict themselves to dating AA negro males don’t want to face:
Older parenthood (on both the mother’s and
father’s part) significantly increases the risks of birth defects, mental
illness, autism spectrum disorders, etc. See the article How Older Parenthood Will Upend American Society: The scary consequences of the grayest generation.
I won’t even get into the extreme emotional stress that fertility problems and fertility treatments put on a couple’s marriage. Even when biologically successful, older parenting increases the
risk of dying before your children are ready to face the world:
What haunts me about my children, though, is not the embarrassment they feel when their friends study my wrinkles or my husband’s salt-and-pepper temples. It’s the actuarial risk I run of dying before they’re ready to face the world. At an American Society for Reproductive Medicine meeting last year, two psychologists and a gynecologist antagonized a room full of fertility experts by making the unpopular but fairly obvious point that older parents die earlier in their children’s lives. (“We got a lot of blowback in terms of reproductive rights and all that,” the gynecologist told me.) A mother who is 35 when her child is born is more likely than not to have died by the time that child is 46. The one who is 45 may have bowed out of her child’s life when he’s 37. The odds are slightly worse for fathers: The 35-year-old new father can hope to live to see his child turn 42. The 45-year-old one has until the child is 33.These numbers may sound humdrum, but even under the best scenarios, the death of a parent who had children late, not to mention the long period of decline that precedes it, will befall those daughters and sons when they still need their parents’ help—because, let’s face it, even grown-up children rely on their parents more than they used to. They need them for guidance at the start of their careers, and they could probably also use some extra cash for the rent or the cable bill, if their parents can swing it. “If you don’t have children till your forties, they won’t be launched until you’re in your sixties,” Suzanne Bianchi, a sociologist who studies families, pointed out to me. In today’s bad economy, young people need education, then, if they can afford it, more education, and even internships. They may not go off the parental payroll until their mid- to late-twenties. Children also need their parents not to need them just when they’ve had children of their own.
Any way you slice it, this is not a pretty picture. What’s
truly bizarre is how AABW have normalized this epidemic of fewer and much later
marriages (and the problems created by such). AABW normalize this mess in order
to cater to the Damaged Beyond Repair masses of AABM who are anti-marriage and
therefore are anti-stable family. As was discussed in the post Catering To Damaged Black Men By Deliberately “Getting It Twisted”:
During the course of several recent conversations about the No Wedding, No Womb campaign, I’ve heard some Black women make incredibly nonsensical and convoluted arguments in support African-American women continuing to have the majority of their children out of wedlock (oow). They are opposed to any suggestion that more (heterosexual) African-American women should get their childbearing choices back in sync with time-tested human norms. Specifically, the time-tested human norm of “no wedding, no womb.” They take this position despite the unmitigated catastrophe oow has caused for the African-American collective. Basically, according to them, marriage is for every other type of human woman except Black/African-American women. . . . [ ]
Frankly, I don’t believe that many Black women are that stupid. Instead, I believe that many of them adopt these arguments because doing otherwise would mean the end of “nuthin’ but a brother” business as usual. Adhering to normal, human standards for mate selection and procreation would mean acknowledging that the vast majority of African-American males are unfit and unwilling to function as men by serving as competent protectors and providers.Once an African-American woman acknowledges this fact, the next logical step is for her to expand her dating and marriage options to include non-Black men the global village. Doing that would require a woman to leave the (false) comfort zone of dealing with the dysfunctional collective of Black men.
Furthermore, most AAs refuse to tell the truth about the normal age range of non-AA women during their first marriages in this society. Instead, far too many AA slaves (of both genders) propose having a baby out of wedlock during one’s 20s as the solution to the AA marriage-related fertility problems created by AA negro males’ aversion to marriage and their stalling to delay marriage. That's downright crazy.
Yet More Reasons To Expand Your Dating &
Marriage Pool If You Want A Healthy Marriage
In summary, if you as an AABW want to maximize your
odds of a happy, fulfilling married life you need to get your life choices back in
synch with middle-class White America’s seasons of life experiences. As much as possible.
The reality is that the majority of [mostly
fatherless, born as bastard babies themselves] AABM aren’t willing to align their
baby-making with the human norms regarding marriage.
Which means that if you’re
serious about marriage and family, you need to remove the masses of fatherless
and anti-family AABM from your dating pool and date and marry out.
