Ladies, Keep Heading For The Exits (Out of Blackistan)

Let me explain how I became aware of some of the (ineffective, useless negro male) blog content that will be mentioned in this post. I generally don’t read anything written by African-American (AA) males. Because the vast majority of AA males are useless, conquered slaves who aren’t doing anything of any real value. As a group, AA males aren’t doing “the 4 Ps” that men from other racial and ethnic groups do: protect, provide, problem-solve and produce.

Instead, most AA males retreat into childish pursuits, like an over-consumption of TV (including TV sports). This is the major reason why the AA collective is in a state of free fall.

Instead of doing the 4 Ps, AA negro males watch men from other groups protect, provide, problem-solve and produce for these other racial/ethnic groups. For just one example, AA negro males passively watched while uneducated, non-English-speaking Mexican men (many of whom are illegal aliens) established lawn service businesses that service AA homeowners in AA neighborhoods.

AA negro males watched while uneducated, non-English-speaking Mexican men created a way to provide for their families by meeting AA consumers’ needs. They watched while Mexican men “did for self.” Negro male slaves (and their AA female enablers) can’t blame that on racism.

Two objects can’t occupy the same space at the same time. The same AA negro males who are perpetually crying out for White men to create job opportunities for them could have done the same thing as the Mexican men. You don’t need a degree or any corporate references to push a non-electric lawn mower across some grass. Which is how many Mexican men started their now-booming landscape companies.

AA negro males could’ve created jobs for themselves by providing this service before Mexican men started doing it. AA negro males could’ve created employment for themselves after they saw Mexican men beginning to service AA homeowners. AA negro males chose not to do any of this. Instead, AA males stuck to their pattern of passively watching while other men make their own way in the world. Well, it’s 25+ years later and we can all see the result of that choice.

When there’s a problem affecting the AA collective, most AA negro males cry out for (and beg) White men to protect, provide, problem-solve and produce for the AA collective. Crying out for another man (typically White men) to come in and solve AA problems is the general behavior pattern among AA males, regardless of education or class status. Talented Tenth Edward = Pookie & Ray-Ray. They’re passive, ineffective males. In short, they’re useless slaves. Elijah Muhammad called out AA negro males about their passive, slave-like behavior many decades ago:

There is no need for us, millions through the country, spending our money for the joy and happiness of others. As a result, as soon as they throw us out of a job we are back at their doors begging for bread and soup. How many clothing shops do we operate in the country? Very few! Yet, all of us wear clothes. Who made our clothes for us? Who sold them to us? We have thousands of grocery stores, but what about our naked bodies? Should we not have more stores to sell our people clothes? Should we not sell our people everything they want or need? But no, we give all the money out of our pockets to the slave-master. We are satisfied in doing so. There are millions of us. We do not have enough factories to weave clothes for our people here in America. Think over that. Where is our shoe factory? Where are our cattle that we are skinning to make shoes for our people? These are small things, but we want equality with a nation that is doing these things.

We boast that we should be recognized as equals. Let us make ourselves equals. We cannot be equal with the master until we own what the master owns. We cannot be equal with the master until we have the freedom the master enjoys. We cannot be equal with the master until we have the education the master has. Then, we can say "Master, recognize us as your equal".

Today you are begging the master, the slave-masters' children for what? You are begging them for a job. You are begging for complete recognition as their equals. Let us be honest with ourselves. According to history, we cannot find where the master made his slave equal until the servant made himself worthy of equality.

I am with you to go on top. We cannot go on top with weight that is hanging on us. We cannot charge the white man with our faults. We are supposed to be, according to his own teachings, free. We are supposed to have been freed from him approximately 100 hundred years ago. Have we exercised that freedom? We must answer that we have not availed ourselves of that freedom. If we have not availed ourselves of that freedom which he says he gave us, why should we think hard of him about the way he treats us? This may be a little hard to swallow.

Our fathers, in the days they were set free by the slave-master, had no knowledge of how to go for self. Today, you are educated. You claim that you have equal education. Then, why don't you take a walk? Before we can be justified in accusing the other man, let us examine ourselves first.

The behavior pattern has not changed since Elijah Muhammad said this almost 50 years ago.

 

Anyhoo, every once in a while, I make an exception to my general rule about not reading mainstream AA blogs in general (and AA negro males’ blogs in particular). To see how rape culture discussions are playing out among what was supposed to be the Talented Tenth among African-Americans (AAs). The quickest way to check into this is to see what the What About Our Daughters blog’s educated negro slave detractors are currently saying about that blog’s online activism. This is how I came across this post at a mainstream negro slave blog called The Urban Politico.

So far, everything I’ve seen during these brief forays into the “mainstream” of AA blogs has confirmed what I already knew: (1) the AA collective is nearing the end stage of its ongoing transition into permanent underclass status; (2) there’s NO reforming the rape culture that exists among AAs, including the rape culture that exists among the AA Talented Tenth (who are often mistaken as constituting some sort of “Black elite,” but I’ll get to that later).

Any AA woman who wants to live well—and wants the Black girls in her circle of concern to live well—simply needs to get FAR away from any place or social function that’s frequented by large numbers of AA males. Period. The immediate answer is for more AA women to take themselves out of striking distance of AA male predators.  Ladies, keep heading for the exits. Flee Blackistan. 

Another important part of the answer is for more AA women to stop taking anything AA males say seriously. Including educated AA males. Especially educated AA males.

I want you to see some things I noticed while taking a quick browse through The Urban Politico, because these things are a microcosm of the bigger picture concerning responsible-sounding, educated-sounding AA males. 

Please note the contrast between the tone of voice used by the negro corporate attorney called The Janitor. In his comments referenced in this post, he’s cold, clinical and engages in a lot of analytical legal talk while discussing Genarlow Wilson’s real-life underage Black girl victims. He starts off the substance of his first comment by saying “I am an attorney who has followed this case since 2007 so I am aware of the legalities surrounding it.” So this is the rationale for what sounds to me like a cold and callous tone of voice when he’s discussing Genarlow Wilson’s victims. When it pertains to Genarlow Wilson’s underage Black girl victims, the Janitor talks about the details of Georgia statutes.

Please note the contrast between the tone of voice in his discussion of Genarlow Wilson’s underage Black girl victims, and when the Janitor is talking about the racial profiling of a fictional BM character and his own alleged experience of racial profiling HERE. Gee, when the Janitor and a fictional BM are the alleged victims of racial profiling, there’s no cold, clinical legal analysis of the U.S. Constitution or local statutes. I’m also an attorney, and I was waiting to see the Janitor’s legal analysis of his alleged fact pattern. With legal citations. That didn’t happen. Instead, he jumped to the unquestioned conclusion that he had been racially profiled. 

When it pertains to Genarlow Wilson’s underage Black girl victims, the Janitor noted that “rape is a serious matter. Therefore, we should not toss around the label of ‘rapist’ lightly before gathering all of the facts.” But he apparently doesn’t have a similar standard for instances in which he believes either a fictional BM or he’s been victimized. Racial profiling is a serious matter. Therefore, we should not toss around the label of “racial profiling” lightly before gathering all of the facts.

It’s easy to talk that clinical legalese when you don’t care about a topic. Or when you don’t care about a category of affected persons.

When it comes to AA women and girls’ physical safety, it seems to me that Talented Tenth, Corporate Negro “Edward” = Pookie & Ray-Ray. None of them care about that. And none of them assume any responsibility for protecting AA women and girls. Don’t be fooled by the use of a responsible-sounding, educated-sounding vocabulary. Don’t take anything AA males say seriously. Including educated AA males. Especially educated AA males.

I’m not saying this because these males are educated. I’m saying this because they’re useless when it comes to things that matter. Their educational backgrounds merely trick unsuspecting AAs into giving these males' opinions more weight than they merit. They use their educated vocabularies to talk a good game, but you will notice that they don't protect, provide, problem-solve or produce. They watch and talk.

When looking at the Urban Politico post criticizing WAOD, I recognized several of the screen names populating the amen corner in the comment section. I recognized one name in particular (an individual calling himself Shady Grady) who took exception to a blog discussion I had several years ago. He’s one of the bloggers at The Urban Politico. He’s also a good example of why AA women need to stop taking anything AA males say seriously. Including educated AA males. Especially educated AA males.

 

It’s time for another stroll down Memory Lane.

As early as back in 2008, other BWE bloggers and I urged AA women to save (and optimize) their own lives by fleeing Black residential areas. I repeated this call in detail in the FAQ to the Sojourner’s Passport blog.

I’ll note that during the discussion to this November 2008 post, Shady Grady and I disagreed about the nature and motivations of past BM leaders, but what’s relevant for this post is what we  both said at that time about fleeing Black residential areas. Here’s what Shady Grady had to say in 2008 about the call for AA women to save their own lives by fleeing Black residential areas (which in recent years have been referred to as “Blackistan”):

. . . As far as Black people fleeing majority Black areas, I don't think that solves any problems. The most obvious constraint is that whites are incredibly sensitive to the number of Blacks in their neighborhood. Once that magic tipping point has been reached (usually somewhere between 5% and 8%)generally whites start moving out. If most Blacks are as dangerous and depraved as some suggest, why would whites want to live around any Blacks? After all whites can't really tell the difference between the "good ones" and "bad ones" so they tend to err on the side of caution.

In reply to that point, I said:

. . . As far as running for our lives, what is your answer to the life-threatening conditions that exist in Black residential areas?

Since you haven't suggested any alternative solutions, it sounds like you want us to remain in place. While the bullets whizz over our heads. While our neighbors are being carjacked. While our children like Blair Holt (in Chicago) are shot dead on their way home from school. While dozens of Black children are shot while going to & from school in Black resdidential areas in cities like Chicago. WHILE OUR LIVES ARE IN DANGER.

I beg to differ with you. Running works. It works for those of us who get out and run away. Those of us who ran are not living under these conditions anymore.

If you have a better idea than running for our lives, I would really like to hear it.

 

Shady Grady then said,

Regarding your other arguments you did not read anywhere where I wrote that anyone should remain in a dangerous area. What I wrote was that Black people fleeing majority Black areas won't solve the problem.

Whites are still the majority in this country and have shown a general aversion to living next to large numbers of Blacks. So areas that Black people flee to tend to become majority Black again in a relatively short period of time. In addition as most white areas tend to be more expensive than many Blacks can afford, even if they wished to do so most Black people could not afford the increased housing cost.

So that means that for most people (those that can't afford to move or those that move in and watch their new neighborhood change complexion in 9-10 years)the only solution is to fix the problems in the Black areas.

I then said,

. . . Back to running for our lives: Yes, Whites do have a "tipping point" in terms of Black percentages of an area before they will flee. This means that Blacks who want to survive and thrive should NOT run to places that are already near (or at) the "tipping point" in terms of Black residents.

You say that the only solution is to fix the problems in the Black areas. How do we do that? And are we to remain in place and thereby continue to risk our lives while we're waiting for the problems in these areas to be fixed? How much longer shall we wait?

There will always be those Black folks who choose to remain behind in the Rwanda-zones. That is their choice. I am saying that those Black folks who seriously want to survive & thrive must evacuate these Rwanda-zones now. Before their luck runs out. Or their children's luck runs out. Like Blair Holt's luck ran out. If I remember correctly, he was his parents' only child. {long sigh}

Evia (blog host of Black Female Interracial Marriage Ezine) said,

. . . Everything has to be viewed in a context. Taken out of context, many things become meaningless or even insane. For ex. the only reason why so many AA women try to remain loyal to AA men and to this notion of saving the black community is due to the historical context. Other than that, most of these women would be considered straight up certifiable considering the lack of reciprocity they receive from bm and the bc.

I've come to the conclusion that many AA men have virtually no respect for the personhood or intellect of AA women. This is why some of my detractors think that if they could just shut me up, a big part of their problem would be solved. LOL! They can't believe that TONS of other AA women think exactly the way I do and some go way beyond me.


Back to running for our lives: Yes, Whites do have a "tipping point" in terms of Black percentages of an area before they will flee. This means that Blacks who want to survive and thrive should NOT run to places that are already near (or at) the "tipping point" in terms of Black residents.

Exactly! But this is what I mean. For ex. why would any of us try to get on a bus that's jampacked when we can get on another bus and get a seat? This wouldn't be that hard to do if the masses of AAs put their minds to it because AAs make up only 13% of the population and this is a big country. Why is it that some folks don't think that AA women have enough intellect to figure things like that out? LOL!

You say that the only solution is to fix the problems in the Black areas. How do we do that? And are we to remain in place and thereby continue to risk our lives while we're waiting for the problems in these areas to be fixed? How much longer shall we wait?

No one and I repeat NO ONE is coming to the aid of those bw and their children who are catching heck in those holes now. So why would anyone publicly be encouraging bw to stay there--unsupported, unprotected and virtually all alone with their children?

Before their luck runs out. Or their children's luck runs out. Like Blair Holt's luck ran out. If I remember correctly, he was his parents' only child. {long sigh}

Thank you! And practically every week, we hear about some woman/women or child's luck running out in these places. Many black folks in those places are magical thinkers and really believe that help is on the way. MOST of the ones I've talked with think that someone cares about them out there and that if they complain just a lil bit more, someone will defend or come to rescue them. SMH

 

That’s where the debate stood almost 5 years ago. Let’s see how some related events have played out during the years since that discussion. Shady Grady talks like an educated, responsible-sounding person. How useful have his comments about fleeing Blackistan proven to be over the past 4.5 years?

Shady Grady’s bio at The Urban Politico states that he’s from Detroit.
 

On August 3, 2009, I warned readers that the federal government had been talking about razing sections of 50 economically depressed cities like Detroit, and letting nature reclaim the bulldozed districts. I found out about this because I read foreign, Western European media (who often cover stories about what’s happening within the US long before the US media mention it). As I noted at the time, however it worked out for Detroit’s non-Black yuppies, this scheme is unlikely to work out well for most of the affected African-American residents. Local and federal housing schemes have rarely worked well for African-Americans. In fact, Dick Gregory had a “joke” from the early 1970s where he remarked that, “Urban renewal means Negro removal.”

The other thing that informed my negative reaction to this scheme is what it says about the federal government’s planning for the cities: It says that they don’t expect these cities (that mostly have high percentages of African-Americans) to ever recover economically! In late March 2010, during his first State of the City address, Detroit Mayor Dave Bing announced his plan to downsize Detroit by demolishing 10,000 homes (his staff later referred to it as “right-sizing” to make it sound less ominous). The demolitions began in early April, 2010.

What has Shady Grady been talking about over at The Urban Politico? Has he been giving vital, actionable information that helps other Black folks save or even enhance their lives? As far as I can tell, the answer is NO.  In fact, he seems to devote a lot of his posts over there to giving recaps of the HBO TV show Game of Thrones.

During this follow-up post, a commenter gave detailed action steps for escaping Blackistan. Hmmm, that seems a lot more useful than talking/writing about Game of Thrones.

Since that 2008 blog conversation, the lethal violence has continued in my hometown, Chicago. Specifically, in Chicago’s Black/AA residential areas. Meanwhile, people who live outside Chicago’s Blackistans are mostly unaffected by what feral AA slaves are doing in their Rwanda-zones. Normal life goes on in the outer world.

As I told Shady Grady years ago, running away works. It works for those of us who get out and run away. Those of us who ran are not living under the constant threat of violent death anymore. Here’s an example of an AA woman who didn’t run away. She and her children stuck around Chicago’s Blackistans long enough for ALL FOUR of her children to be killed. “She had four children, three boys and a girl, all victims of gun violence in Chicago over a period of 18 years.” See story HERE.

Praise God, increasing numbers of AA women have gotten the memo to flee Blackistan. Since the BWE movement made the call for AA women to escape Black residential areas years ago, I’ve been delighted to read testimonials from many AA women who escaped. Most recently, HERE.

Ladies, keep heading for the exits. Flee Blackistan. Ignore the Shady Gradys. The life you save might be your own.

*A note about many AAs’ misuse of the term “Black elite.” When you’re down and out, even a midget looks like a giant. Being part of a “power elite” typically means that you’re making decisions that impact or control the life opportunities/circumstances for very large numbers of people (thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions). Whether these other people like it or not. Furthermore, truly being part of a power elite means that you have enduring impact or control over other people's circumstances. Not a person whose influence evaporates the moment they lose an election.

AAs don’t really have an “elite.” What we have are job holders. Job holders who work in public or private institutions that are created and controlled by NON-AAs. So when AAs talk about a so-called “Black media elite,” they’re actually talking about Black folks who are employees—or hoping to become somebody else’s employee—in the media.

Contrast these current day AA job holders/job seekers with somebody like Elijah Muhammad, who created multiple institutions and jobs (grocery stores, restaurants, shipping companies, private schools, etc.) for other Blacks. Unlike Tyler Perry, Spike Lee and others, Mr. Muhammad didn’t have to depend on White people to distribute/showcase his products and services.

I notice that many formally educated AAs use the term “Black elite-[whatever]” as a slur against other educated AAs. I would caution such folks that when you encourage other AAs to hate on the so-called (and actually nonexistent) “Black elite,” you’re encouraging them to hate on any AA person with a white-collar job or an advanced formal education. Whether you realize it or not, this hateration that some of you are encouraging includes YOU. Your working-class or poor family of origin background won’t save you from being lumped into that same “Black elite” category. Your working-class or poor family of origin background won’t protect you from hateration from the growing AA permanent underclass.

A Good Example Of A “Colorless”—And Therefore Successful—Fiction-Writing Career

I’ve recently come across several online conversations in which African-American (AA) women are talking about getting started on their novels, screenplays, etc. Which is a wonderful thing. We need to produce our own content.

However, I would strongly urge any AA woman who’s entering the entertainment biz via writing to position her work as colorless (meaning, directed toward White consumers) FIRST.

After you get established, then you’ll be in a position to disseminate positive portrayals of AA women and girls. If you start off your career by writing AA/Black-oriented works, the odds are that your career will crash and burn and be over before it even begins.

As I said during a post at the other blog:

For the reasons I explained in great detail during this post, Black business owners who are serious about success need to stop structuring their businesses around hopes of appealing to African-American consumers. The masses of African-American consumers are emotionally incapable of responding appropriately to any visibly Black-owned business, regardless of its quality.

African-American business owners need to position their businesses as “colorless” in order to tap into the larger pool of nonblack consumers. Unless they find out otherwise, many (if not most) American consumers will assume that a business is White-owned. Making your business “colorless” means to preserve this assumption of White ownership for as long as possible.

It takes emotional discipline to have a colorless business and to maintain secrecy about it being Black-owned. This means that you don’t get to puff your chest out and brag about how you’re a business owner. This often means that you don’t get the emotional payoff of visibly looking like The Boss.

But if you’re in tune with reality, then you know that life is not fair and that you can’t afford to behave the same way as nonblack business owners. That is, if your priority is to make the sale while providing excellent goods and service. The reality is that you won’t even get the opportunity to provide excellent products and service to most potential customers (of any race, including Blacks) if they know your business is Black-owned. As I mentioned to a reader during an earlier conversation,

For AA business owners, it’s a difficult, hostile business environment all-around. I agree with you that things are not much better with nonblack consumers. I never said it was Paradise with them. But here’s what I feel is the (meaningful) difference:

If you can position yourself in such a way that maintains “colorlessness”—let’s be blunt, in a way that maintains the illusion of White ownership—then your business has the chance to survive long enough to maybe, perhaps . . . be judged on its actual merits. There’s NO realistic hope of that when dealing with AA consumers as a visibly Black-owned business. AA consumers won’t patronize the business, AND they’ll be more prone to rob and/or steal you blind if they know it’s Black-owned.

If your business can survive long enough, you might be able to develop a professional reputation that’s well-known enough to get you over that “racism from nonblack consumers” hump.

It’s not a direct comparison (after all, she’s a WW dealing with other White people), but this is what the Men With Pens blogger was able to accomplish with her online business. She “passed” as a WM-owned business long enough to more or less get over the sexism hump.

She came up with a decidedly MALE pseudonym, and named her blog the manly-sounding “MEN With Pens.” Her problem was that at a certain point, she had to make business phone calls. And then customers would hear her (woman’s) voice.

She talked about all of this in her post entitled Why James Chartrand Wears Women’s Underpants.

I’ve heard tales of Black business owners who do like the AA plumbing company owner who pretends to be an employee of his own company when he goes out on service calls.

Sensible nonwhite writers already know all of this. There are successful African-American women writers who have “colorless” writing careers that I could mention. But I won’t mention them, because I don’t want to “out” them and risk damaging their careers (by bringing attention to the fact that they're Black). I want them to continue being successful.

But I don’t mind mentioning the example of an Asian woman writer who has found success by writing for White consumers: Tess Gerritsen, who writes the very popular Rizzoli & Isles series of novels.

Note that she does NOT write under her Chinese maiden name. And for the most part, she does not write about Asian characters as starring characters. I would guess that most of her WW readers have no idea that Ms. Gerritsen is Chinese-American. I would further guess that if they had been aware of this in the beginning, then her career never would've taken off. As she stated in her post, Non-white heroes: the kiss of death in the marketplace?

And there are lots and lots of novels about middle-aged white men having affairs and mid-life crises.  But rarely do you see a novel, much less a bestselling novel, that explores the Asian American experience.

 

So why have I never written one?  My three-word answer: fear of failure.  

 

That's not just my own lack of confidence speaking; it's something that a very canny (and honest) publishing executive told me two decades ago.  It was back while I was writing romance novels for Harlequin Intrigue, and I had a chat with one of Harlequin's top brass.  She loved my writing and she wanted to discuss my upcoming book projects.  I asked her if she'd be interested in a romance featuring an Asian American heroine.

 

She wasn't afraid to tell me the truth, and I will always be grateful for her honesty.  Harlequin had done extensive market research, she said.  They knew which titles were hits and which were flops.  And whenever they published a book with an Asian hero or heroine, no one bought those books.  They might be the best stories in the line, but they invariably failed in the marketplace.

  

"I want your books to be bestsellers," she said.  "And this will hurt your sales."

 

I took that advice, so generously given, and all my novels have featured white heroes and heroines.  I've slipped in Asian Americans as secondary characters: Maura's morgue assistant Yoshima, for example, or Vivian Chao, the fearless surgeon in HARVEST.  But in none of my books have I featured an Asian or touched on those painful memories from my childhood -- until now.

 

In THE SILENT GIRL, I've finally written the story I've been burning to tell, a story with bits and pieces of my own Chinese-American childhood. Not the painful memories, but the quirky bits, imbued with my mother's lore about ghosts and monsters.  One of her stories in particular has always stayed with me, the much-beloved Chinese legend of the Monkey King, a wild and unpredictable creature who was born from a stone and becomes a warrior.  When Jane Rizzoli finds monkey hairs on the body of a butchered woman in Boston's Chinatown, the legend of the Monkey King becomes key to understanding the crime.  Monkeys both fascinate and frighten me, and I get chills thinking of such a creature roaming Chinatown's dark alleys.

 

For the first time, I introduce not just one, but two major Asian American characters.

Ms. Gerritsen can afford to do this (without killing her career) because she’s already built a fan base of White consumers. She built this base by orienting her earlier novels toward White consumers. Without letting them know (in the beginning) that she's Asian. And her sales are great. I know this because I’m an indie fiction writer and publisher who keeps up with my industry. I have market analysis software that tracks and estimates monthly sales on Amazon based on ranking numbers.* Here’s a screen capture of the search I performed a few minutes ago on Ms. Gerritsen’s Kindle books (using this software)(click to see a larger image):

 

African-American women writers who are serious about financial success need to stop structuring their art around hopes of appealing to African-American consumers. When you write for African-American consumers, all you’re doing is throwing away a larger pool of customers to chase after a smaller pool of customers. You’re leaving money on the table—and damaging your writing career—when you start your career by writing for Black consumers.

 The better way (with much higher odds of success) is to get your money first by writing for White consumers, and then—after you have a mainstream fan base—start inserting positive, attractive BW characters as starring characters in your art.

[*As an aside, if you're looking to make a living from your writing, you'll keep track of market trends. You'll use the tools that are available to keep track of what types of books consumers are looking for. I'm not saying to chase after fads with your writing. I'm saying to see if the sort of material you're inclined to write can fit into a niche that already has a large fan base looking for that sort of material. This applies to both fiction and nonfiction.]

I’ll end by repeating a comment I made during a discussion at my other blog a few years ago:

I don’t expect to write any more AA/Black-oriented materials. My side business (and any future projects, such as writing a technothriller novel) are totally oriented toward the nonblack mainstream consumer. But thanks so much for your kind words; I truly appreciate it.

And since I mentioned business, let me repeat part of a real talk comment that I previously made over at Halima’s blog. It might provide some food for thought for aspiring AA entrepreneurs. I explained the reasons why I didn’t and don’t want payment in exchange for this blog’s premium content:

I deeply appreciate your call to action, but NO—I DON’T want anybody sending me money for my premium content—please DON’T do that!!!

Here’s the primary reason why:

As a Black business owner, I don’t believe in trying to do serious business with “typical” AAs/Blacks. It never works right for the reasons (I’ve outlined in depth at my blog). I refuse to do business with slaves in that direct fashion. A Black business owner who tries to do direct business with slaves is only setting themselves up to be sabotaged by those slaves.

A reader at my blog previously described the AA slaves’ behavior pattern regarding Black businesses: First the slaves pretend to be excited about the Black business endeavor. Then, they start backbiting it. Then, they work their fingers to the bone to pull it down.

I’m already an online business owner. My side business is totally oriented toward mainstream, NON-Black consumers. I don’t want hateration-type AA slaves to have any possible openings to do any sabotage that could potentially spill over onto my side business.

That’s the primary reason why I don’t mix any direct exchanges for money with my BWE activism. I know that there are legions of DBRBM, disgruntled colored girls, and other trolls who would looove to have an opening to file false complaints to the Better Business Bureau, etc. about me out of spite. If I accepted money for the BWE premium content, doing so would give bad-faith slaves a lever to use to potentially impact/sabotage what I’m doing with my side business.

Keeping the premium content free protects me from the disgruntled colored girls and other Black haters.

I know that I have to protect my side business from MOST of the people in the reading audience. As Halima noted, there’s an undercurrent of resentment toward many BWE bloggers. Even from audience members who aren’t full-blown trolls or haters. That’s why my name is not on my side business. So the haters in the audience will never be able to find it and connect it to me. They can’t sabotage what they can’t find.

For any Black business owner’s self-protection, AA slaves must be kept at arms’ length from one’s business, and only dealt with via 3rd parties like Amazon.com.

That way, when the hateration-AA slaves falsely claim to have a problem or issue about their order, they have to take it up with the 3rd party such as Amazon.com. And the Black business owner is removed from the main “line of fire” from hateration AA slave-consumers.

There are secondary reasons why I don’t want money in exchange for the premium blog posts:

(1) I don’t want folks to be able to dismiss the reciprocity lesson as actually being about “money-grubbing.” I know that this is how AA slaves think; and I want them to genuinely learn what reciprocity means. AND

(2) I’m already a business owner, and my online business is totally oriented toward majority, NON-Black consumers. I want the Sojourner’s Passport social activism blog to pay for its own upkeep (through book sales), but it’s not like I’m trying to use the blog to put food on my table.

Let me emphasize that I don’t feel that there would be anything wrong with accepting donations or making the blog paid-subscription only. Other folks—people who are not African-Americans—understand how it’s often necessary to pay for valuable, life-enhancing information. Sadly, most AAs are simply too primitive and slave-minded for that—they don’t want to pay any other Black person for anything sensible.

It’s an interesting paradox: Most African-Americans are cynical and yet gullible at the same time. We’re quick to interpret any other Black person seeking fair monetary compensation for their life-enhancing work as somehow inappropriate. Yet, we’re simultaneously delighted to throw piles of money to all sorts of useless Black (mostly male) hustlers who are peddling less than useless wares such as Steve Harvey, most AA male pastors/imams, etc.

So, even though it would be perfectly appropriate to charge for the information I provide, I don’t want to do that. In addition to the concerns I mentioned in Part 1 of this comment, I believe charging for premium content would actually work against the reciprocity lesson that I’m trying to teach.

It would make it too easy for indoctrinated AA slave-women to dismiss the reciprocity lesson as just an attempt to “get over.” Which is what they’re inclined to think, because they don’t understand the idea of reciprocity. All they understand is exploitation. Either from the perspective of the user or as the person being used. How very sad . . . and downright savage.

Aspiring AA entrepreneurs: Don’t be naive about the typical AA consumer and their behaviors.

Expect Success!

**Advanced Bonus Tips For Aspiring Storytellers** ONE—When I first started writing novels, I discovered that most of the existing books about fiction writing are filled with disinformation. Very few of them were useful in teaching the tricks of the trade. I found that screenwriting materials were much more useful in teaching one how to structure a compelling story.

 TWO—One of the best ways to learn the underlying structure of good, compelling stories is to read the screenplays of good, compelling movies and TV series. Lots of them. There are several sites where you can read and download free screenplays, including those listed on this page.

 

 [As a side note, please know that people in the movie industry (and wannabe screenwriters) are reading the various drafts of film scripts even before any particular movie finishes shooting, and long before the movie comes out.  So for all the confused slaves who felt that nobody— like, oh, let’s say Spike Lee—could fairly criticize Django Unchained or its content without seeing it: Folks like Spike Lee typically have access to movie scripts long before the movie comes out. So they’ve often read the shooting script to a movie long before that particular movie is playing in theaters.

In fact, there’s a very popular blogger who devotes a large chunk of his time to reading screenplays of movies that haven’t been produced, and/or haven’t come out yet. The ScriptShadow blog host also has an excellent book about the tricks of the screenwriting trade.

 

For those aspiring screenwriters who are really interested in keeping up with the "haps" in the industry, and want to know about the latest film and TV script sales, there's this site: Done Deal Professional]

THREE—In terms of novels, series sell much better than stand-alone books. To write a successful series, you need an underlying premise that can sustain readers' interest for more than one book. Here’s a good book (Writing The Pilot) that explains how to craft that type of premise. It's specifically for writers who want to write spec TV series pilot scripts, but many of the same considerations apply to coming up with ideas that can sustain more than one novel in a series.

“Vetting” Should Be More Than A Buzzword

Former blog readers often send me links to various online discussions that are taking place among Black women. While reading the links I’m sent, sometimes my attention is drawn to something other than what the reader has mentioned about the particular discussion. This is such an occasion. Let me preface my remarks by noting that none of what I’m about to say is about any particular blog or blog host. Blog hosts have their own reasons for posting the comments they post. Everybody’s got their own reasons, and I’ve never had any interest in running any blog(s) but my own. {chuckling}

I'm not going to post links to these troll comments at other people's blogs because I want you to pay attention to the  WM troll's deceptive behavior pattern, not any particular blog host's decision to post his comment(s).

The focus of this post is also not about this particular WM troll that’s been haunting Black women’s blogs for several years. This WM troll has simply provided enough material to constitute a “teachable moment” for: (1) newbies who are unaware of his online history; and (2) confused African-American (AA) women who don’t understand how healthy boundaries operate. My focus is on many African-American women’s lack of boundaries and lack of discernment.

Healthy individuals and ethnic groups have boundaries. For the most part, outsiders can’t just “Bogard” their way into other ethnic group’s online spaces, and talk just any kind of way to those people (from non-AA ethnic groups). Most non-AAs won’t tolerate the garbage that AAs put up with.

A large part of the reason why the African-American collective is in a state of free fall is because most of us don't have any clear values. Those of us who do have values generally fail to integrate these values into the fabric of our everyday lives. Such people only pull their values out for "special occasions."

Most African-Americans are not grounded in anything at all.

Our lack of basic, firm grounding is also the reason why we are so easily deceived and pulled off course. Especially by flatterers. Excessive and/or insincere praise is almost always rooted in negative motives. It’s typically self-serving, and designed to advance a hidden agenda. I’m reminded of a song my parents played a lot, Smiling Faces Sometimes by The Undisputed Truth.

Smiling faces sometimes pretend to be your friend
Smiling faces show no traces of the evil that lurks within
Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
They don't tell the truth uh
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof
The truth is in the eyes
Cause the eyes don't lie, amen
Remember a smile is just
A frown turned upside down
My friend let me tell you
Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
They don't tell the truth, uh
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof
Beware, beware of the handshake
That hides the snake
I'm telling you beware
Beware of the pat on the back
It just might hold you back
Jealousy (jealousy)
Misery (misery)
Envy I tell you, you can't see behind smiling faces
Smiling faces sometimes they don't tell the truth
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof
Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
They don't tell the truth
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof
(Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes)
(Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes)
I'm telling you beware, beware of the handshake
That hides the snake
Listen to me now, beware
Beware of that pat on the back
It just might hold you back
Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
They don't tell the truth
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof
Your enemy won't do you no harm
Cause you'll know where he's coming from
Don't let the handshake and the smile fool ya
Take my advice I'm only try' to school ya

When we don't continuously refer back to our touchstones—or even worse, don't have any touchstones to check—we set ourselves up to be played and to do great harm to our own interests.

This sort of self-inflicted damage to our own interests is the general behavior pattern for most African-Americans. We don't react to events based on clear, firm values. We react based on emotions.

Anyhoo, I’m talking about all of this because (in the link that was sent to me) I saw a comment by a WM troll that pricked my spirit:

 

As this exchange continued, this one BW reader who does have boundaries was actually called "racist" by other commenters. [!!!] Yes, the commenter named Cocoababe was called a "racist" because she has and sets boundaries, and therefore wouldn't let this WM troll get over with his drive-by snark.

As far as I’m concerned, drive-by snark is not cute. And it’s especially “not cute” in the context of an outsider coming among others to leave drive-by snark. Boundaries aren’t necessarily about race or ethnicity. They’re about being a good and respectful guest when you’re in somebody else’s “house.” Being a good and respectful guest when visiting somebody else’s space. Being a good and respectful guest when people from another group (be it gender, ethnic, racial, religious, sexual orientation, whatever) are discussing issues that are vital to their group’s interests.

How many AAs go to, let’s say, Nigerian blogs—where Nigerians are discussing issues of great importance to Nigerian people—and leave drive-by snark that makes mockery of a Nigerian person?

How many non-Jews go to Jewish blogs—where Jewish people are discussing issues of great importance to Jewish people— and leave drive-by snark that makes mockery of a Jewish person?

And if some outsider was so-called “bold” enough to do something like that, what do you think the reaction would be among most of the Nigerians or Jews present at those blogs? Somehow, I doubt they would be tickled about being disrespected in their own online houses. For the most part, the only people who seem to enjoy being disrespected is AAs.

I've seen this same WM troll leave his drive-by snark verbal droppings in other places in recent months. Here is the verbal dropping this WM troll left during a serious conversation about BW and romantic relationships at another BW's blog:

Let's take a stroll down Memory Lane. This particular WM troll has spent several years worming his way into various BF-IRR and some BWE blog conversations. I first became aware of him (due to his uninvited, unwelcome intrusions into my blog's discussions) sometime around 2009.

Even though he's probably wanted to do this all along, this WM troll didn't start off verbally pissing on BW's heads at BW's blogs. If he had shown his true face years ago when he first started interjecting himself into BW's blogs, he never would've been allowed into those conversations. He knew that if he had started off by engaging in Obvious Troll Behavior (the way most BM trolls behave), he wouldn't be able to get his foot in the door at various BW's blogs.

This particular WM troll has been patient. He spent years wearing a false mask of fake-concern for BW, fake-support, and fake manners in order to infiltrate what should be safe, denigration-free, online zones for BW. He spent years wearing a false mask so he could get in a position to verbally piss on BW's heads at BW's blogs.

He tried to infiltrate my blog discussions back in 2009. I was never fooled by his fake-concern for BW, his fake-support, or his fake manners. My instincts told me to be wary of this particular individual, and I listened. Ladies, listen to your instincts! If you're having a negative gut reaction to a person, place or thing, pay attention to that reaction! Don't try to talk yourself out of it. 

Anyhoo, in 2009, I banned this WM troll from my blog. Here's how it went down during the course of a couple of blog discussions during February and March 2009.

During a February 2009 discussion:

 

Aabaakawad said...

Respected Teacher Khadija,

Small question concerning what my role participating in this blog:
As a sympathetic older white man, where can I go and where can't I go in challenging others' views. This can clearly be tricky. I may appear to be a "duck". Ex: the controversial, but I believe sincere & appropriate, analysis in that ancient P. Moynihan report.

Can I be appreciated as a legit source of criticism? Or would that be damaging to the goals of this blog? -- Should the deconstruction be left to bw, because then it may heard as supportive?

Wishing Y'all Progress,

--- Aabaakawad

February 14, 2009 at 5:24 AM

Khadija said...

Greetings, Aabaakawad!

First of all, thank you--but I'm NOT a teacher or guru of any sort. I'm just hosting the conversations here. I learn from listening to the participants.

After some reflection, I've decided to take your comment at face value, and respond accordingly. As you know, there are a lot of time-wasting, game-playing trolls, but I decided to err on the side that maybe you are sincere about your question.

You said, "Small question concerning what my role participating in this blog:
As a sympathetic older white man, where can I go and where can't I go in challenging others' views. This can clearly be tricky. I may appear to be a "duck". Ex: the controversial, but I believe sincere & appropriate, analysis in that ancient P. Moynihan report.

Can I be appreciated as a legit source of criticism? Or would that be damaging to the goals of this blog? -- Should the deconstruction be left to bw, because then it may heard as supportive?"
Response: I don't like voyeurs. By "voyeurs," I mean people who do NOT have a stake in the issues under discussion. So their participation is simply a matter of personal entertainment.

I don't like this because this sort of behavior is disrespectful of the gravity of the issues under discussion. I'm not running a gossip blog. This is about uplifting spirits, and helping people to change their lives for the better. Lives are literally at stake concerning the issues under discussion here.

This blog is not about entertainment for me. I don't mind if people read this blog as entertainment. But I DO mind if people participate in these conversations for personal entertainment. If I see that somebody is playing games, then they're out of here.

I would also not look favorably upon your wish to intrude upon conversations that don't pertain to you. What's that about?

Why would you want to come here to (I take it from your Moynihan reference) quibble with us? Don't you know any Black folks in your personal life that you can bounce your ideas off of? If not, then this is yet another reason to be suspicious of your motives.

Just because you claim (and believe yourself) to be "sympathetic" doesn't mean that you actually are. Furthermore, I'm not looking for "sympathy" from anybody. For you to even conceive of the situation in those terms is paternalistic and patronizing.

I'm interested in JUSTICE. I support anybody who supports JUSTICE.

There are some blogs where I function as a SILENT voyeur. For example, gay and lesbian blogs. I enjoy Pam Spaulding's and Jasmyne Cannick's blogs. [They are Black lesbians.] I also enjoy "Living Out Loud With Darian." [He's a Black gay man.]

I read those blogs so that I (as a straight woman) can learn how to become a better ally in their pursuit of justice for themselves. I am not "sympathetic" to gays and lesbians. Who am I to presume that they would want or need my "sympathy"? I support JUSTICE for gays and lesbians. I read and LISTEN so that I can learn how to be more effective in my efforts to support justice for them.

I don't comment at those blogs because I feel that doing so would be presumptuous of me. I don't intrude upon their conversations. I disagree with some of the viewpoints expressed by the participants at these blogs. But that doesn't matter. I go there to listen and learn, not to lecture or debate with gays and lesbians about THEIR understanding of THEIR concerns. I would suggest that you do the same when it comes to conversations here.

Peace and blessings.

February 14, 2009 at 1:41 PM

Aabaakawad said...

Khadija,

Thank you for your careful and detailed response to my query. My missteps may have provided a teachable moment. This blog is not about entertainment for me either.

Regard this as personal communication or blog comment, as you choose. But I hope this last comment is allowed before I fade away, so that at least I can protect my reputation as a sincere participant on certain IR blogs run by your colleagues, where wm are explicitly welcome. I will better research where my input is accepted after this. I am very new to blogging.

I am sorry about the poor choice of the word sympathetic. I meant it to indicate I agree with your outlook. It was a poor choice to submit a comment thru a smartphone in the wee hours.

I will remain as a silent voyeur as u suggest. The very reason I asked my question was to understand the boundaries.

Although I do not have a place in this blog, I feel no embarrassment in being interested. I date within and outside my race with intentions of finding a LTR, likely marriage. Understanding the territory is essential for interacting without causing pain.

After posting, I realized my salutation laid it on too thick. Sorry. But I do regard u as a teacher, along with also being someone learning from others, because I have learned a lot, and I am sure many others feel this way too.

I placed a comment as a prelude to weighing in on the disagreement over the legitamacy of wp and multi-racial people in the outside world, as opposed to the blog world, pointing out or describing publicly the demonry in the bc. I was NOT going to do a critique of behavior, or to shame anyone, but a defense of the legitimacy of outside-the-group analysis in the real world. Rereading my comment, I totally blew it in framing this.

Specifically I was going to support Felicia in the following exchange, but I will refrain from comment:

Felicia said:

Daniel Patrick Moynihan also told the truth but was dissed because he was white.

and Felicia supplied this link:

Four decades later, scholars re-examine Moynihan Report

[That link is a wonderful summary of the history of that report and the evolving reaction to it.]

to which Khadija objected:

In terms of Moynihan, I also refuse to meekly submit to a humiliating tongue-lashing from some non-Black.

to which Felicia replied

IMO if someone isn't personally attributing to a social problem, they shouldn't feel any humiliation or feel scolded at all if an obvious problem is pointed out. Whether the observation is being made by someone inside of the American "black community" - and judging from some of the atrocities happening in heavily black under-class areas one would be hard pressed to call them communities - or outside of it.

Khadija, I really am grateful for what u r doing, and I am sorry for the disruption.

--- Aabaakawad

February 14, 2009 at 7:36 PM

Khadija said...

Hello there, Aabaakawad!

I'm delighted to see from your thoughtful reply that I didn't make a mistake by taking your original question seriously. It's good to see that you don't appear to be a game-playing troll.

Let me make this clear to you and any other non-Black readers: You are welcome to participate within certain boundaries.

To skip forward [I'll explain in detail later in this reply]: You are welcome to participate using the same respectful, self-editing that you probably use when discussing Jewish issues with Jewish people. [That is, assuming that you are not Jewish yourself.]

You are perfectly welcome to comment, and participate as long as it's NOT an effort to TELL us how we should think about racial matters that pertain to US. This is not a forum to debate with non-Blacks about OUR business. You are welcome to ask questions, as you have done. You are welcome to ask for clarification of why a commenter believes as they do.

Be aware that nobody is under any obligation to invest time in answering questions from outsiders. Readers are free to do so if they wish. They are free not to do so. I'll do it if I'm in the mood (LOL!), but keep in mind that educating non-Blacks is not my mission profile for this blog.

The problem that often occurs with non-Blacks jumping into many of these Black blog discussions is that it becomes a form of dominance. Many Whites feel perfectly comfortable telling us about OUR experiences. And telling us how we "should" perceive OUR experiences regarding racial matters.

This is disrespectful and unhelpful.

I would suggest the following thought experiment:

If you are not Jewish, have you ever questioned or debated with Jews about THEIR perceptions of matters related to their Holocaust? [I'm not talking about debates/questions about Israeli/Zionist politics or policies, I'm talking about matters directly related to their Holocaust.]

If you are not Jewish, have you ever questioned or debated with them about how they choose to define membership in THEIR ethnic/relgious group? Have you ever questioned or debated with them about how they choose to interpret the behavior of children from religiously mixed marriages?

People take liberties with AAs' concerns and sensibilities that they would never think to do with others.

So here's a quick guide for outsiders' boundaries here: If you wouldn't do it, say it, or challenge it regarding Jewish people, it's probably equally inappropriate to do it, etc. with us.

If you don't go around telling Jews who they should or should not consider Jewish, then it's not appropriate for you to try to define membership in OUR group.

If you don't go around telling Jews that they shouldn't be offended by actions and statements they perceive to be anti-Semitic, then it's not appropriate for you to try to give us lectures about what we should or should not perceive as racist.

LOTS of people seem to be able to figure this out when it comes to other people's sensibilities. Folks can figure it out when it comes to us as well. It's not that hard. However, part of the problem is that most "mixed company" discussions surrounding race tend to be dishonest. Another part of the problem is the AAs tend not to enforce boundaries. There are boundaries here.

Peace and blessings,
Khadija

February 14, 2009 at 8:23 PM

Aabaakawad said...

Khadija,

My gosh u type fast. I am envious.

I seem to be partially redeemed.

I am not Jewish, but my two best friends in college were. One was President of Hillel. I did discuss all of those subjects with them, and I sometimes disagreed with one or both of them. However, they were interested in my opinion.

But of course you are correct, since I could only do this because we three were a very tight group with complete trust. I think I now have a comfortable understanding now why my opinion of the Moynihan report does not belong here.

You have stated:

If you don't go around telling Jews who they should or should not consider Jewish, then it's not appropriate for you to try to define membership in OUR group.

Well of course. Was that aimed at me. Or just part of general instructions to non-AA participants. Am I being thick and missing something?

Wishing you progress,

--- Aabaakawad

February 14, 2009 at 9:16 PM

Khadija said...

Hello there, Aabaakawad!

My parents requiring me to take typing in high school has come in handy over the years. LOL! [They didn't want me to have to pay folks to type my papers in college.]

Peace and blessings.

February 14, 2009 at 9:41 PM

 

I ultimately banned this WM troll from my blog during a March 2009 conversation. The first part of my comment quoted below was in response to something Evia (host of Black Female Interracial Marriage blog) had said:

 

Khadija said...

Hello there, Evia!

. . . [skipped portion] You said, "Likewise, look at all the attempts that have been made to beat me down when all I'm trying to do is offer what I can to uplift bw, and I appreciate, Khadija, that you pointed that out the other day."
You're welcome, and THANK YOU for all the work that you have done. And this is something else that Black folks in general need to learn---how to SHOW gratitude for somebody who helped them. We tend to be ingrates with each other. Meanwhile, we gush for years later over any non-Black who throws us a moldy crumb.

Let me repeat a stern warning that I heard one of Elijah Muhammad's supporters give:

If somebody helped you, you need to open up your mouth and THANK that person. And THANK them again! And tell the truth about what they did for YOU when their name comes up in conversation.

If somebody helped you, that person shouldn't have to defend themselves, BY THEMSELVES from liars, nuts and trolls. You need to open up your mouth and just tell the TRUTH about what that person did to help YOU.

If somebody helped you, and was later wronged by somebody else, you need to open your mouth and say what was wrong. You don't have to fight that person's battle for them, just TELL THE TRUTH about how they helped you!

Too often, when somebody helps us, we take it for granted and let that person twist in the wind. When we act like this this, we DON'T DESERVE any help from anybody!

Evia, I know that you're a modest person, and I don't mean to embarass you, but the following really needs to be said to the silent audience:

What the above means to me in this context:

1-Reading Evia's essays helped ME when I felt disoriented after coming out of the Black Nationalist trance I had been in for years.

2-Evia's essays have helped a LOT of other BW. She's lifted a lot of BW's spirits.

3-Evia didn't have to be bothered with any of this. She didn't have be bothered with facing the cyber-stalking, threats, and madness that has followed her public support of BW's interests.

4-Since I am one of the BW who were helped by her work, I need to open my mouth and THANK HER for her work.

5-Since I am one of the BW who were helped by her work, I need to publicly TELL THE TRUTH about how her work helped ME.

6-Since I am one of the BW who were helped by her work, it should be displeasing to ME to see her slandered and maligned. And since this is displeasing to me, I need to speak out about that.

7-This is how you show gratitude to God for those people among His creation who helped you!

Dear Silent Audience: It angers me that there are a LOT of cowardly BF ingrates among our ranks who are eagerly reaping the benefits of reading essays by pioneers like Evia, Halima and others, but yet these women are silent when they come under attack. And these women never publicly acknowlege how their work has enriched their lives.

Half of these BF cowards would have fits if the pioneers retired from blogging. But yet they say and do nothing to show any appreciation for all that they have gained by reading the pioneers' work. All the while, the pioneers have been out on the front lines taking LOADS of heat and harassment.

This is despicable.

{climbing down from my soapbox}

[skipped portion] . . .
Peace, blessings, and solidarity.

March 10, 2009 at 6:23 PM

 

The WM troll intruded into the conversation to say:

 

  Aabaakawad said...

@Khadija

About the women who use this material but dont speak up. Its basic human nature to seek approval. while logicly the trolls cant hurt them,it still takes a certain amount of courage to confront the trolls. The hurt the trolls cause is inside the heads of these silent listeners, as the nasty ppl press the buttons and pull the levers in their minds that bind them back up in their learned hopelessness and pain.

You understand the problems, but you have not drowned in them for a lifetime. It does not take very much to pull out the despair all over again. These are PTSD women, and the vulnerabilty is profound at this point in their progress.

Khadija, I admire you, but you need to understand that you have been blessed with a warrior spirit and you came out of a relatively safe environment. You are not normative.

Merely reading and absorbing this information puts many women at the very edge of what they can tolerate in psychic pain. The hope is that they get past that, but this phase in the process can not be skipped over. It has to be endured. Then comes the strength.

If you care, and I can't believe you would put such effort effort in this if you didn't, try to approach this from the standpoint of what works and what is possible. Shaming only inhibits their progress.

Of what use is a newborn baby? A baby grows up eventually and together with others raises new babies. And so the human race continues.

We might at this moment be present at the birth of a transforming movement. Don't strangle it out of frustration with its current weakness. The silent followers at this stage need nurturing and encouragement. As they build on that, and tentatively speak up, pull them in. Listen to each one, and you will feel when there is enough strength there in an individual that they can b asked to try to do the hard stuff.

Wishing you progress Khadija, and PROGRESS to those who have not found their voice.

March 11, 2009 at 12:50 AM

 

My response was:

 

Khadija said...

Aabaakawad,

Before I say anything else, let me repeat some of what I told you previously:

"Let me make this clear to you and any other non-Black readers: You are welcome to participate within certain boundaries.

To skip forward [I'll explain in detail later in this reply]: You are welcome to participate using the same respectful, self-editing that you probably use when discussing Jewish issues with Jewish people. [That is, assuming that you are not Jewish yourself.]

You are perfectly welcome to comment, and participate as long as it's NOT an effort to TELL us how we should think about racial matters that pertain to US. This is not a forum to debate with non-Blacks about OUR business. You are welcome to ask questions, as you have done. You are welcome to ask for clarification of why a commenter believes as they do.

Be aware that nobody is under any obligation to invest time in answering questions from outsiders. Readers are free to do so if they wish. They are free not to do so. I'll do it if I'm in the mood (LOL!), but keep in mind that educating non-Blacks is not my mission profile for this blog.

The problem that often occurs with non-Blacks jumping into many of these Black blog discussions is that it becomes a form of dominance. Many Whites feel perfectly comfortable telling us about OUR experiences. And telling us how we "should" perceive OUR experiences regarding racial matters.

This is disrespectful and unhelpful.

I would suggest the following thought experiment:

If you are not Jewish, have you ever questioned or debated with Jews about THEIR perceptions of matters related to their Holocaust? [I'm not talking about debates/questions about Israeli/Zionist politics or policies, I'm talking about matters directly related to their Holocaust.]

If you are not Jewish, have you ever questioned or debated with them about how they choose to define membership in THEIR ethnic/relgious group? Have you ever questioned or debated with them about how they choose to interpret the behavior of children from religiously mixed marriages?

People take liberties with AAs' concerns and sensibilities that they would never think to do with others.

So here's a quick guide for outsiders' boundaries here: If you wouldn't do it, say it, or challenge it regarding Jewish people, it's probably equally inappropriate to do it, etc. with us.

If you don't go around telling Jews who they should or should not consider Jewish, then it's not appropriate for you to try to define membership in OUR group.

If you don't go around telling Jews that they shouldn't be offended by actions and statements they perceive to be anti-Semitic, then it's not appropriate for you to try to give us lectures about what we should or should not perceive as racist.

LOTS of people seem to be able to figure this out when it comes to other people's sensibilities. Folks can figure it out when it comes to us as well. It's not that hard. However, part of the problem is that most 'mixed company' discussions surrounding race tend to be dishonest. Another part of the problem is the AAs tend not to enforce boundaries. There are boundaries here."
__________________________

I see that it didn't take long at all for your repeated, uninvited INTRUSIONS into these discussions to turn into attempted dominance and disrespect.

You said, "If you care, and I can't believe you would put such effort effort in this if you didn't, try to approach this from the standpoint of what works and what is possible. Shaming only inhibits their progress."
First of all, it is not your place to try to instruct me as to how I should perceive, and respond to, the actions of other BW.

Second, it's quite easy for an outsider such as yourself to advocate letting adult BW slide with inappropriate, cowardly, disgraceful behavior. Their cowardice is NOT costing YOU anything. It's not creating an atmosphere that puts YOU and others like YOU in direct danger.

You said, "Khadija, I admire you, but you need to understand that you have been blessed with a warrior spirit and you came out of a relatively safe environment. You are not normative."

So now you're telling me what's "normative" among MY people. On top of that, you're telling me that I'm not normative because I'm emotionally stable and brave.

DON'T waste my time with a response.

DON'T intrude upon these discussions again.

DON'T come back.

Peace.
Khadija

March 11, 2009 at 4:50 PM

 

This WM troll's long-term prank is a good example of stealth. He spent a long time flattering various bloggers, and pretending to sincerely care about BW's issues. The snarky, disrespectful way he's talking to BW at various BW's blogs right now is what he's wanted to do from the very beginning. But he knew that he would first have to use STEALTH and deception to get his foot in the door at various BW's blogs. As I said during this post at the Sojourner's Passport blog,

 

Part of the reason African-Americans are so easily manipulated and exploited by others is because they know our emotional thumbscrews. We tend to wear them on our sleeves. They know that most African-Americans lack racial or ethnic self-respect. They know that most of us are desperate for validation from outsiders. They also know that we are a child-like, gullible people who assume that every smiling face is a friend. We don’t understand that an enemy is actually being kind by remaining aloof and openly showing hostility. We’ve never learned that the most dangerous and vicious enemy is the one who smiles in your face and joins you.

 It's something to keep in mind.