Black Women’s Self-Esteem Emergency — I’m Republishing Angry Deva’s Post

Introduction To All Posts:

Black women’s problems with Black men started in Africa LONG before the arrival of the Arab man and the White man. 

Black men have been betraying Black women since BEFORE the White man ever came to Africa. If you haven’t already done so, please read the following 2 posts:

This Is An Ancient Betrayal - BM Have Been Betraying BW Since BEFORE The WM Ever Came To Africa, Part 1

This Is An Ancient Betrayal, Part 2 - African Art & Dance Document BM's ANCIENT & ETERNAL Betrayal of BW

And now on to today’s post.

Ladies, let THIS Facebook post by Angry Deva be a lesson:

I’m republishing Angry Deva’s Facebook post because the type of subtle confused thinking she describes is a hidden emergency! Too many African-American women are going around rejecting and destroying various blessings under the mistaken belief that they’re being “practical.”

Look at what this poor woman lost because she didn’t think highly enough of herself:

Angry Deva's: The Dark Divine Feminine

14 hrs · 

Dark Magic 101 Emergency:

A sister shared with me that her man proposed. She is upset that her ring cost him $10,000 and they are still renting. She feels like he should have put that money toward a down payment and gotten her a cheaper ring.

And now he doesn't want to marry her..... At all. With any kind of ring.

When I tell you all, the Feminine is Valuable and to be Valued? I mean that, it even applies to YOU!!! Honey, he doesn't even want to talk to her anymore. Because she cannot see herself as WORTHY of this $10,000 ring. He can't handle the idea of being with a woman who doesn't want her man to spoil her. He is already making great money, set to make even more and he wanted to invest in her. He already had a plan for their home investment; and she never bothered to find any of that out. Smh unprepared and under-prepared, vs savvy, cunning and stealth. The bw's self esteem issues and unwilingness to see herself as the FIRST, bites her in the butt.

Your ego is only a problem when it sabotages you. You need a big healthy ego, to be successful in anything. Insecurity breeds failure and contempt. As we see here.

Because of this, I am hosting a show tonight on the URGENT importance of REAL Dark Wisdom, and Occult Science. And I will be discussing which Dark Angel snatched her Good Fortune from her; for her dishonor of the First Cause and First Principle in my Dark Magic 101 class. Sign up here:

The fiasco Angry Deva described in this post is the result of the trickbag brainwashing that far too many Black women (African-American women in particular) have been subjected to. 

The masses of nonblack women would accept that $10,000 ring as what is DUE to them based on their personal VALUE as women. Even a pole dancer like Melania Trump. By contrast, most African-American women have been raised and brainwashed to not feel entitled to such things. And we call that particular deficit “being practical.” 

It’s the same warped thinking that has too many of us locked into false equality talk and thought patterns. I talked about this in the 2009 post The Sojourner's Path: Reject False Egalitarianism And Cultivate Your SUPERIOR Traits. [Some of y’all should take the time to browse the archives of the earlier BWE writers. We left them open for a reason. {smile}]

LIFE IS NOT FAIR OR EQUAL -- Everything And Everybody Are NOT The Same

The first thing that aspiring Sojourners must understand is that real life is not fair or equal. In fact, life is filled with naturally-occurring, lopsided ratios! In order to survive and thrive, we must position ourselves on the WINNING side of these ratios.

[. . . ] WHAT ALL OF THIS MEANS FOR AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN
1. Stop Pretending That These Ratios Don't Exist

No matter how much African-Americans weep, wail, and gnash our teeth, these skewed ratios will continue to dominate real life. Nature is filled with imbalances. Everybody is NOT the same. In any field, by any measure, there are only a FEW outstanding people. Whatever "it" is, there will be a sea of relativemediocrity with only a handful of standouts in either direction (good or bad).

A critical point about this angle is to look at what a group's "baseline" is. A group's collective baseline is how you measure that group's general success or failure. Some collective baselines are MUCH higher than others. There's the mediocrity of being a lower-middle class person when your ethnic group is mostly affluent. [Oh, you can probably guess which ethnic/religious group I'm thinking of.] And then there's the mediocrity of being a poor, fatherless, African-American person who was born out of wedlock. If the odds are that you'll be mediocre, would you rather be "mediocre" in the sense of the first group or "mediocre" in the second group?

Most African-Americans resist the reality of these ratios because we're used to being on the losing side of these numbers. In fact, we've embraced a collective "loser" identity. 

It never occurs to us that we have it within us to be SUPERIOR regarding anything that matters. It never occurs to us that we can be on the winning side of these ratios.

So, we have a mindset of trying to pretend that everything and everybody is the same. Pretending that everybody's "equal." So, we have a mindset of trying to coerce the "winners" into giving the "losers" (that would be us) large slices of their "pies." We want to try to force situations into an artificial, false veneer of "equality."

This is only a temporary solution to disparities and inequalities. It will always fail in the long-run because these ratios will always exist. And unless a group raises its collective "baseline," they will always be disadvantaged relative to others. They will continue to lose. Not only have African-Americans failed to raise our collective baseline, but we've allowed it to plummet.

Over the past few decades we've started saying things like "BMW = Black Man Working." What do these sorts of expressions say to the world about our baseline? Our collective's baseline is currently at ground level. And it will fall through the floor once the Endless Night of Permanent Underclass Status becomes entrenched.
2. Understand That "Equality Talk" Is A Subtle Trap

Equality talk is actually a subtle mental trap. If you really believe that"things aren't any better anywhere else," then you have no incentive to move anywhere to seek a better living environment. If you really believe that you're "the same" as everybody else, then you're not going to cultivate those traits of yours that are actually superior to the masses. And so on across the board.

All of this stems from embracing a mass loser self-identity. Equality talk is usually heard coming from losers who are trying to convince themselves that they have some merit. Winners don't talk that equality talk. Now, gracious winners might publicly engage in equality talk so as to not upset the losers around them; but that equality stuff is NOT their self-image. People who are winning feel that they have superior skills or traits that enable them to win. Losers feel that they were lucky to win.
3. Use These Ratios To YOUR Advantage. Embrace And Cultivate Your SUPERIOR Traits!

I often praise God for my parents. In terms of raising us, they were NOT for that false equality mess. Egalitarianism was not for their children. They never wanted us to be "equal" with anybody. They wanted our points of SUPERIORITY to shine brightly!

Ladies, stop thinking like losers who have to scramble for scraps! You can position yourself to be a winner who takes all! This applies across the board. From one's personal life to one's financial life. Keep in mind the fact that some people actually made a LOT of money during the Great Depression.

There are general things about us as Black women that are actually SUPERIOR to other women. You already know many of these traits, but somehow most of you don't take these things to heart and work with them to your advantage. I don't understand this behavior.

This includes surface beauty traits. You know that we generally age better than other women. You know that our complexions usually have a glow and vitality that others admire. You really KNOW that other people admire our curves! Non-Blacks have noticed and commented on all of this. Why don't YOU seem to know this? Why don't you cultivate these advantages?

[I know. . . Lord, I know it angers some of you, but I'm going to ask: Why persist in hiding your God-given curves under extra weight? I never said that it was easy. Don't you remember me complaining and whining every step of the way during the workout check-in posts? I'mstill complaining about being sore, tired, etc. I complain, but I keep working out.]

This includes inner beauty traits. Generally speaking, African-American women are resourceful. We are industrious. We are intensely loyal. The problem is that we've got all of these traits harnessed in support of unworthy causes, goals and people.

There are specific things about YOU as an individual that are SUPERIOR to most others. Are you ready to embrace and cultivate your superior traits? Are you ready to be a winner who takes all?

Ladies, don’t be like the woman in Angry Deva’s post. Instead—Embrace, cultivate and expect a SUPERIOR lifestyle!

Forget Those Who Say That You Can't by Tom Kavala

"Tell me who your best friends are and I'll tell you who you are. The people you associate with most – whether professionally or socially – can have a motivating or de-motivating effect on you. Especially when you're trying to make a comeback from a setback.

Some folks have a perpetually positive attitude and are natural motivators. Others are so negative they brighten a room just by leaving it.

The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you associate most closely – for good or bad. Sometimes it's better to be alone than in the wrong company.

A quick story …

It was great to be home! I'd been living and working in Europe for two years and this was my first vacation.

We were sitting around the dinner table talking and laughing – having a great time really. Right up until I dropped the bomb.

"I'm going to take up skydiving."

It was like somebody had hit the "Pause" button. Everybody froze.

My mother, my brother and my twenty or thirty assorted aunts, uncles and cousins all asked – almost as one – "Are you out of your mind?"

They then proceeded to tell me every single "Crash and Burn, Death by Falling" story the world has ever known. The funny thing is none of them were skydivers.

Today I have 135 or so parachute jumps under my belt. That's not a lot by some standards, but it's okay for me.

I've jumped out of helicopters, hot air balloons, jets and prop jobs … I've jumped from as low as 1,500 feet and from as high as 21,000 feet … I've jumped static-line and free-fall … and I've often thought back to that night around the dinner table. How much I would have missed, had I let my family steal my dream!

The Only Expert About You is You!

I have discovered that an important characteristic of successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.

Anytime you try to pull ahead of the pack and accomplish something great, there will undoubtedly be people who don't think you can do it. Such naysayers are all too common.
Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are. Friends that don't help you to climb will make you crawl, if you let them. Your friends will either stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you.

So never receive counsel from unproductive people – they are not qualified to comment.

On The Road to Success, Be Careful Who You Ask for Directions

If your doctor told you that you needed an operation, you'd probably want to get a second opinion before undergoing surgery. Who would you ask? Your auto mechanic? Your brother, the fireman? Maybe Aunt Gladys? Of course not! You'd ask another doctor – somebody who knows something about medicine.

Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeeded themselves are always the first to tell you how. Not everyone has a right to speak into your life. You'll always get the worst of the bargain if you exchange ideas with the wrong person.

When I was thinking about quitting my job as a business consultant and going full time as a copywriter, my family told me they thought I was crazy – again.

I love them, but I don't give a hoot what they think. I care what Michael Masterson, Don Mahoney, and Paul Hollingshead think. I want to know what Dan Kennedy, Herschell Gordon Lewis and Bob Bly think. I want to know what Joshua Boswell thinks. Why? Because they have done what I want to do.

Billionaire J. Paul Getty said it best, "The easiest way to get rich is to find somebody who is rich and do what they did."

Don't follow anyone who isn't going places. With some people you merely spend an evening – with others you invest it.

If You're at a Crossroads, You're in Good Company

It's not what the naysayers say that is important, it's what you believe that really counts. So let me ask you, what do you believe?

Maybe you're at a crossroads and not sure if you can do it or not. That's okay. Look at some folks who got off to a slow start, had more than their share of detractors, and still did okay:

Albert Einstein didn't speak until he was nearly 5 years old and was considered "mentally slow."
The inventor of the steam engine, James Watt, was declared "dull and inept."

Cartoonist Walt Disney was fired from his first job because he "had no imagination."

Inventor Thomas Edison was kicked out of school at age 9 because he was at the bottom of his class.

Basketball legend Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.

Sometimes the experts – and other well-meaning people – are misguided in their efforts or just plain wrong in their thinking. And then there are some people who are just stuck on stupid.
You can measure IQ, but not "want to." It's not the size of the dog in the fight that's important, it's the size of the fight in the dog. They can measure the size your head but not size of the dream in your heart.

So follow your heart as you use your head to develop skills and talents. There is nothing that an inspired you cannot accomplish.

One Last Question …

Are you on course toward your goals, or is the "FUD Factor' (Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt) casting a shadow on your direction?

In 1492, despite repeated setbacks, and in the face of conventional wisdom, Christopher Columbus set his course in the direction that his own inspiration and intelligence led him to believe was the right one.

During his quest across the dangerous and uncharted North Atlantic, he wrote these words in his private log, "This day, we sailed on."

He knew that a ship in port is usually safe … but that's not what ships are built for. What are you built for? What great accomplishments are yours to fulfill?

Invest the time NOW to renew your commitment to overcoming past failures, including the fears, uncertainty and doubt placed there by the conventional wisdom of unqualified, negative people.

Go ahead and give yourself a chance to succeed by taking another shot – or two, or three. It's not over 'til you win. Chart a bold course for yourself and sail on! Who knows? One more effort might be all it takes to get you back on course to your own New World.

And One Final Thought …

People are like rubber bands. A rubber band, lying around on a desk somewhere doesn't do anything. But once picked up and stretched, it becomes useful. Once stretched and let go, it gains the potential to fly over much greater distances than before.

It is only when you stretch yourself that you begin to discover your ability to fly much farther than you might have imagined.

Are you stretching yourself? You have an unparalleled opportunity to surround yourself with people who can help your writing career take a quantum leap forward … people you can dream aloud in front of … people who can bring out the best in you.

I'm talking about AWAI's 2009 FastTrack to Copywriting Success Bootcamp and Job Fair – where a single conversation with the right person can be more valuable to you than many years of study.

Self-made billionaire J. Paul Getty once observed that your income will be the average of income of the five people with whom you associate most closely. Maybe it's time for you to stretch yourself and get some new friends. Sign up for Bootcamp while there are still slots available. I'm going to be there. Don't delay – sign up now!

Special Offer: To hear Tom's business-building insights and advice every Tuesday, sign up a free subscription to Spare-Time Biz Success.

This article appears courtesy of American Writers & Artists Inc.’s (AWAI) The Golden Thread, a free newsletter that delivers original, no-nonsense advice on the best wealth careers, lifestyle careers and work-at-home careers available. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.blogger.com/signup/."

________________________________

Khadija speaking: Sales pitch aside, this essay has a LOT of valuable food for thought. I hope you'll take the time to seriously consider some of the points the author raised.

Please Join Me In A Round Of Geostrategy Nerd: What Comes Next For You and Yours?

Faith, blog host of Acts of Faith In Love And Life (which is on my sidebar blogroll), is holding it down! She's done yet another excellent post that I believe deserves your attention: http://actsoffaithinloveandlife.blogspot.com/2009/08/waning-political-clout-of-blacks-in.html

I talked about this waning of African-Americans' prospects in this country from a slightly different angle during the Charity Should Begin At Home series of posts: http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2008/09/charity-should-begin-at-home-part-1.html and http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2008/09/charity-should-begin-at-home-part-2.html

The bottom line is that African-Americans have collectively "blown it." Across a wide array of issues. Since African-Americans have already lost a series of essential battles, I believe that it's critical that those of us who survive shift our attention at this point. The masses of African-Americans will form a permanent underclass in this country. We need to stop focusing on the dead and dying. We need to focus on securing our own (and our children's) long-term interests as African-American survivors. I said the following in a comment to Faith's post:

"Faith,

Yes, our dwindling political influence WILL be yet another disaster for the masses of unprepared AAs.

Since we've lost the war to prevent AAs from becoming a permanent underclass in this country, I've been thinking about what comes next for those AAs who do manage to avoid this fate. Specifically, what comes next for the AA women that I've nicknamed "Sojourners."

I think it would be helpful for us all to ponder what strategic needs those few surviving/thriving AAs will have a decade from now. And how we might best position ourselves and our children to meet those needs.

This question is the LAST, remaining viable war that's left AFTER the various wars that AAs have already lost. We lost the war to prevent AAs falling into mass, permanent underclass status in this country. We lost the war to preserve the AA family. As you've noted here, we've lost the war to preserve (much less expand) our political influence in this country. We are losing the war to preserve our mass economic gains over the past few decades.

All of that is a done deal, and I believe we need to turn our attention to focus on the strategic interests of those of us who will survive and thrive.

I've been reading a book by Thomas Bass about the Vietnam War called The Spy Who Loved Us: The Vietnam War and Pham Xuan An's Dangerous Game.

To summarize the book: "Pham Xuan An was a brilliant journalist and an even better spy. A long-time correspondent for Time and friendly with all the legendary reporters covering Vietnam, he was an invaluable source of news and font of wisdom on all things Vietnamese. At the same time, he was a masterful double agent, a North Vietnamese intelligence agent...kept his cover in place until the day he died..."

The North Vietnamese sent Mr. An to the US in preparation for what they called "the war after the war." Meaning, the battle to preserve the victory that they (correctly) believed that they would eventually win over South Vietnam (and the foreign powers such as France and the US that were propping it up).

This meant that they were sending people like Mr. An to the US to study American culture (in order to better understand their future opponents---they sent him in the late 1950s, before the US seriously entered the Vietnam conflict---and at the point when they were still fighting the French!).

Thinking through "the war after the war" meant that they were already planning to have agents infiltrate the various worldwide Vietnamese refugee communities that would be created by their victory (they were thinking about this 20 years before their victory in the 1970s).

Those few AAs who survive and thrive also need to look to our future needs and interests. Peace, blessings and solidarity."

We often spend a lot of time talking about the African-Americans who are not going to make it. I'm NOT talking to (or about) the many African-American losers now. With this post, I'm talking to (and about) my fellow survivors and thrivers.

So far, I've been telling you what I think during the Geostrategy Nerd posts. I'm now inviting you to join me in a round of Geostrategy Nerd, and think through the following questions:

What comes next for you and yours during the next 20 years?

What are you preparing for your children that will give them a solid foundation? [Lord, God, please don't say "a good education." You know that this is now a minimum requirement that's needed to function in this society. So, a good education is a given. And you know that "a good education" is NOT enough by itself to give somebody a sturdy foundation.]

We can't all own businesses that we can pass down to our children or other loved ones. And we know that we CAN'T pass a job down to our loved ones. But we CAN accumulate other kinds of tangible assets. At a minimal level, we can accumulate things like U.S. Savings Bonds.

So, what exactly are you doing that's meant to last, and designed to do something concrete for yourself, and for loved ones who come after you? [This was the point of the recent post asking you the question, "What impact will your actions have on life 17 generations from now?"]

So, what's next? What will African-American survivors, thrivers, and Sojourners need to do next to properly position ourselves for the future?

For the next 5 years? For the next 10 years? And beyond?

Al-Walaa Wal Baraa, Part 3: Do You Have Any Loyalty To Yourself?

The other day, I was scrutinizing the Technorati statistics for my blog post tags. I was specifically looking to see what topics my posts were weighted toward. I have my own subjective impression of that, but I've been looking for objective metrics to analyze the blog's content.

Anyhoo, I was pleased to see that my subjective assessment was more or less correct: The blog tags with the largest number of posts were the posts tagged "Wildest Dreams." The single topic with the largest number of blog posts has been about African-American women turning their Wildest Dreams into reality. The topic with the next largest number of blog posts are those tagged "Save Your Own Life." Regarding this topic, the focus has usually been on leaving physically dangerous Black residential areas; leaving dead-end, soul-draining "helping professions;" maintaining one's health through physical fitness; and developing other income streams. These are all steps along the Sojourner's Path.

As much as I prefer to focus on these sorts of things, the reality is that none of this works when you don't have any loyalty to yourself, your values, or your own interests. This lack of loyalty to self is the underlying reason why so many African-American women are so easily pulled off course from turning their dreams into reality.

You can't be loyal to yourself AND loyal that which is anti-you at the same time. When you make room, make a way, and make it comfortable and cozy for people that are anti-you, then you are acting as their ally. If you are in an alliance with somebody who hates you, then you're actually in a state of war against yourself.

Other people fighting against you, plus you helping them fight against you = YOU LOSE.

I. Do You Have Any Loyalty To Yourself?

Most African-American women don't understand the above ideas. This is the underlying reason why so many of us are suffering. We're confused. We don't call the support that we give to people who hate us "being in a state of war against ourselves." We use other terms. We call it being "compassionate," being "loving," "rising above ___________," "being fair," and worst of all, we mislabel giving aid and comfort to people who hate us as "doing the right thing."

NO! Making room, making a way, and making it comfortable and cozy for people who hate you is not the right thing to do. It's the wrong thing! It's wrong to grin and cheese with people who hate you, and make mockery of the things that are most important to you. At minimum, you need to walk away from them while they're in the process of doing this.

The Quran warns about this:

"And indeed He has revealed to
you in the Book that when you hear
Allah’s messages disbelieved in and
mocked at, sit not with them until
they enter into some other discourse,
for then indeed you would be like
them. Surely Allah will gather
together the hypocrites and the disbelievers
all in hell—" Holy Quran, 4: 140.

The Quran also warns the believers about what's really going on with the "haters":

"O ye who believe! Take not into your intimacy
those outside your ranks: They will not fail to corrupt you.
They only desire your ruin: Rank hatred has already
appeared from their mouths:
What their hearts conceal is far worse.
We have made plain to you the Signs, if ye have wisdom." Holy Quran, 3:118.

Do you while away the time with people who hate you?

Do you interact with people who hate you?

Do you remain in the company of people who insult you, and the things that matter most to you?

Do you cheese and grin with people who make mockery of your aspirations?

Most African-American women do the things I've listed above. Some do it because this behavior has become normalized among us. Some know better, and do it anyway out of social pressure. I can hear such women thinking, "If I walk away from everybody who verbally spits on me or my dreams, then I won't have anybody left around me." Well, then you need to work double-time to find some new people to associate with.

I submit to you that part of the reason why you haven't found people who would actually support you and your goals is because you've been "treading water" with folks who don't support you. Two objects can't occupy the same space at the same time. The "haters" around you are taking up space that could be filled with people who are actually compatible with you and your interests.

II. Do You Have Any Boundaries? Is The Space Within YOUR Immediate Presence A "Safe Space"? Are The Spaces That YOU Control Safe Spaces For You, And For Other African-American Women?

Most African-American women don't have any boundaries. We generally don't require the area within our immediate presence to be a "safe space." We also don't make the spaces that we control safe places for ourselves and for other African-American women.

This came up during a recent conversation hosted by Faith (blog host of Acts of Faith In Love and Life, which is on my sidebar blogroll). In this post http://actsoffaithinloveandlife.blogspot.com/2009/08/lessons-african-american-women-can.html), she made mention of a conversation over at another blog. What I found fascinating about the conversation that she made reference to is that a man who has previously voiced his disdain for African-American women was perfectly free and welcome to particpate in this conversation. As if he was a legitimate participant.

It's interesting that a man who has disdain for African-American women, and states that he has very little in common with African-American women hangs out at African-American women's blogs. One may wonder, "Why in the world does he go out of his way to come around us at our blogs, since he has so very little in common with us?"

Well, . . . this man leaves comments at Black women's blogs in order to tell Black women about the disdain he has for us, to insult us, and yet is still a welcome participant at several Black women's blogs.

I don't fault him; he's only doing what he's being allowed to do in an atmosphere that has been made comfy and cozy for him. Furthermore, what he thinks about Black women is not particularly important to me. What is important, and is a point of concern for me, is the fact that he's still welcomed into these conversations at various Black women's blogs as if he's a legitimate participant.

Many African-American women bloggers apparently don't find anything . . . peculiar . . . about allowing somebody to freely pull up a chair in our blog "homes" . . . and insult African-American women. In other words, many of us are okay with our blogs NOT being safe spaces for Black women. I suppose because, you know, we have to be "fair" to people who have already voiced their disdain for us.

How other people operate their spaces is up to them, and is none of my business. [As the Isley Brothers sang, "It's your thing, do what you wanna do. I can't tell you, who to sock it to!" LOL!] That's not my point of concern. What I AM questioning is the mindset that makes this possible in the first place. I AM questioning the widespread mindset that perceives this sort of situation as "normal."

I believe that African-American women who want to survive and thrive must purge their minds of this particular mindset. That's why I'm discussing this concrete example. So that we can all reflect upon what loyalty to self looks like in various contexts.

I said the following over at Faith's blog:

"Faith, Please excuse the extreme length of this comment. I hope to amplify one angle of the point that you made in this post.

I believe AA women need to apply the same analysis that you suggested (of asking "What, if any, value does this individual provide to AA women?") across the board. That includes scrutinizing who it is that we bother to interact with. On any level.

During these online discussions, we're often unfamiliar with the people that we're talking to. Faith, this is what you alluded to when you confronted one BM commenter about his lack of a traceable commenter ID.

As you know, a lot of folks want to comment without any sort of accountability. So, they invent new, closed profiles that they use for leaving certain types of comments. They do this because they don't want anybody following up with them at their own blogs; or making reference to their commenting history (as I'm about to do below).

WARNING: I'm repeating the following for illustration purposes ONLY. Ladies, please DON'T waste your time or breath on this individual. Please DON'T run over to his blog or over to The Black Snob blog to argue or otherwise interact with him. Please ignore him in reference to this.

Keep in mind the following questions that I often wonder as I run across this particular individual commenting over at various AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN'S BLOGS:

1-Why does this man hang out at so many AA women's blogs? Especially considering how very little he says he has in common with AA women?

2-Do the women talking to him know this guy's history in terms of his remarks about AA women?

3-If so, why do they bother interacting with him?

I have a fairly long memory when it comes to nonsense, and I vaguely recalled seeing The Angry Independent commenter being specifically (somewhat humorously) referenced and called out at another BW's blog.

I managed to find his original post that elicited the friendly "call-out" from the other blogger. Here are some pertinent quotes from it: http://mirroronamerica.blogspot.com/2008/05/why-i-hate-being-black-no-899.html

[Audience Note: Since I've linked to it above, there's no need for me to repeat the part of my comment that quotes from this particular blog post, or from his comment over at The Black Snob. One can read his comments over at The Black Snob post that Faith linked to. ]

Again, why are so many of us interacting with this person online? Why is his participation in BW's blog conversations welcomed? Are we paying attention?

[I won't bother to ask whether or not the Internet Ike Turners or Black Unity fascists have ever confronted this particular BM (The Angry Independent) who entitled his blog post "Why I Hate Being Black No. 899". You know, since they're sooo concerned about maintaining Black unity...]

Ladies, other people [especially the Jewish community] have LONG memories in terms of people who insult them. Maybe we need to learn how to have long memories too. Peace, blessings and solidarity.

. . . My issue is that so many BW continue to welcome the participation of men like The Angry Independent in our conversations. As if he's a legitimate participant to discuss issues that are of concern to BW. So, somebody can hate us, but if he prefaces his hatred with "As much as I want to love Black women…………" then it's okay? This is what I find so amazing about some of these conversations.

As to T.O.: He has a right to spend his money and time on whoever he wants. The same way I have the right to totally ignore his problems if and when he has a "Skip Gates/OJ/Wesley Snipes/Michael Vick, etc. Experience." We're ALL free agents! LOL! Thanks for another great post. Peace, blessings and solidarity."

If you're going to successfully walk the Sojourner's Path, you must be loyal to yourself, your values, and your own interests.

Do you have any loyalty to yourself?

Do you while away the time with people who hate you?

Do you interact with people who hate you?

Do you remain in the company of people who insult you, and the things that matter most to you?

Do you cheese and grin with people who make mockery of your aspirations?

Do you have any boundaries?

Is the space within YOUR immediate presence a "safe space"?

Are the spaces that YOU control, safe spaces for you, and for other African-American women?

The Sojourner's Path: Find And Embrace The "Market" That's Best For YOU

Let's get back to our "regularly scheduled programming" about personal transformation, and practical steps toward living out our Wildest Dreams. I've been reading a fascinating book titled How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World by a Libertarian ideologue named Harry Browne. The book can be found at http://www.trendsaction.com/

I generally don't care for Libertarian politics or ideology, but after reading several references to the book I decided to check it out for myself. I'm happy I did. The author talks about a lot of things that are easy to forget under the constant barrage of dysfunctional, mass African-American, "new-school" culture.

Mr. Browne talks about what he calls "the despair trap" versus "the general market." My comments are in blue:

"The Despair Trap is the belief that other people can prevent you from being free. Despair isn't hard to come by. . . [i]f you've been trying to convince your friends and family to accept your way of life, you probably feel very misunderstood and unappreciated by now. [Khadija speaking: The unhappy reality is that the people around you who don't "get it" at this late date probably aren't going to make it as The Endless Night of Permanent Underclass Status For African-Americans becomes entrenched. Grieve for them---but not for too long. You have to keep it moving in order to survive and thrive!] How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World, Amazon Kindle Locations 1117-26.

Despite these kinds of problems, the goals of freedom and happiness are totally realistic. If they aren't being achieved, it's the method that's wrong, not the objective. [This is a critical point. There are so many vampires screaming at African-American women that it's somehow "wrong" for them to seek happiness and fulfillment. The vampires say this even though they are busy doing whatever they want to do. The vampires are typically NOT making the sacrifices that they demand of African-American women.]

You have to accept the world as it is. But that doesn't mean you should look at the people who oppose your ways and conclude that there's no chance to be free. The world includes much more than just the people you've been dealing with.

There are undoubtedly many, many people with whom you have nothing in common. But there are also plenty of people who see things in much the same way you do. If you haven't come in contact with them, it may be because you've unnecessarily confined yourself to those with whom you've been associating.

And it may be that you haven't discovered ways of finding the kinds of people who could add to your life, instead of detract from it. How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World, Amazon Kindle Locations 1126-35.

[It's impossible to overemphasize how VITAL it is for African-American women to STOP socializing in all-Black circles and settings. These are radioactve settings filled with degradation and spirit-breaking despair for any Black woman who goes there. I know that for many of us, these all-Black settings are all we know. And I know that many of us figure "better the devil we know."

I'm saying NO! The Damaged Beyond Repair (DBR) African-American males you encounter in all-Black settings are orders of magnitude WORSE than the general population of men in the outer world. Just open your eyes for a moment and look around. Look at how other ethnic and racial groups of men generally protect and provide for the women of their group. Look at how these other women and children are living. And then look at how totally unprotected African-American women and children are. I'll make it plain. At this point in time, things have deteriorated to the extent that: All-Black Settings = Death For Black Women. On many levels. Emotional death, spiritual death, and in ever-increasing numbers, physical death.]

The popular conventions of society might discourage you from breaking out of uncomfortable situations to find those people. Such hallowed traditions as one marriage, one career, one employer, staying in one place, etc., can cause you to feel that you must make the best of whatever situation you're already in.

But 'making the best' frequently means either giving up your own happiness or trying to change others. Neither way makes any sense.

You don't have to stay where you are. You can look for someone who doesn't have to be forced to love you, someone who will be enthusiastic about what you have to offer, someone who will help you get what you want because it will be in his self interest to do so.

You're in the Despair Trap if you believe that you have to stay where you are and work things out somehow. Or if you believe that you couldn't be any better off if you were to change your situation. Or if you think that the government or society can stop you from being free. How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World, Amazon Kindle Locations 1135-44 (emphasis added).

The General Market embraces personal relationships as well as commercial ones. All relationships are governed by market principles as individuals come together, exchange or share as appropriate, and work toward the advancement of their own happiness. The same principles apply to finding a friend that apply to finding a buyer for your product.

Within the General Market there's a whole world of potential relationships for you if you realize that you don't have to please everyone.

If you want a marriage partner who's compatible with your way of life, you don't have to prove to everyone that your way is right. You need to find only one person who meets your needs and who wants you as you are.

You don't need millions of friends; you only need enough to provide the companionship and shared interests you'd like to have. So it isn't important what the other people are like." How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World, Amazon Kindle Locations 1144-54 (emphasis added).

A Sojourner does not cast her pearls before swine. Instead, she finds and embraces the "market" that's best for her.

Are you seeking and embracing the market that's best for YOU?

The Sojourner's Path: Reject False Egalitarianism And Cultivate Your SUPERIOR Traits

LIFE IS NOT FAIR OR EQUAL -- Everything And Everybody Are NOT The Same

The first thing that aspiring Sojourners must understand is that real life is not fair or equal. In fact, life is filled with naturally-occurring, lopsided ratios! In order to survive and thrive, we must position ourselves on the WINNING side of these ratios.

From The 80/20 Principle: The Secret to Achieving More with Less, by Richard Koch. My comments are in blue:

"The reason that the 80/20 Principle is so valuable is that it is counterintuitive. We tend to expect that all causes will have roughly the same significance. That all customers are equally valuable. That every bit of business, every product, and every dollar of sales revenue is as good as any other. That all employees in a particular category have roughly equivalent value. That each day or week or year we spend has the same significance. That all our friends have roughly equal value to us.

[Khadija speaking: African-Americans love to believe that "everybody's the same." And that "everything is the same," and that "things aren't any different in other places." This sort of thinking leads to our angry (really deranged) assertions that out of wedlock parenting is "equal" to married parenting. That a child having a "weekend only, telephone father" is "equal" to having an onsite 24/7 father who is married to one's mother. Well. . . umm. . . NO. This is not how real life operates. Not at all. Real life is filled with HUGE, natural imbalances. Real life tends to follow Pareto's Law.]

. . . That all problems have a large number of causes, so that it is not worth isolating a few key causes. [Oh, let's stop here for a moment. This is a critical point. This is a large part of why African-Americans love to believe that people are the same. This notion serves to obscure the TRUE source of many of the problems among us. These "people are basically the same" and "we're all equally responsible" delusions provide cover for those among us who are truly aberrant.

If we sought to isolate the primary causes of certain problems during our analyses, it would put an extremely unflattering spotlight on some of our cultural "sacred cows." Sacred cows such as the Black underclass, and the "young Black males" that we refer to in our political slogans.]

That all opportunities are of roughly equal value, so that we treat them all equally." The 80/20 Principle: The Secret to Achieving More with Less, by Richard Koch. Amazon Kindle Locations 203-14 (emphasis added).

Pareto's Law

From The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich, by Timothy Ferriss:

"Pareto's Law can be summarized as follows: 80% of the outputs result from 20% of the inputs. Alternative ways to phrase this, depending on the context, include:

80% of the consequences flow from 20% of the causes.

80% of the results come from 20% of the effort and time. [African-American women spend the bulk of their efforts on things and people that have the LEAST amount of impact. This is why we work so hard for so little. This misuse of effort and time applies to many situations.]

80% of the company profits come from 20% of the products and customers.

. . . The list is infinitely long and diverse, and the ratio is often skewed even more severely: 90/10, 95/5, and 99/1 are not uncommon, but the minimum ratio to seek is 80/20." The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich, by Timothy Ferriss, Amazon Kindle Locations 940-52 through952-62 (emphasis added).

[Yes, I agree that in real life the ratio is often extremely skewed---95/5 and 99/1. Real life has a lot of "winner take all" scenarios. For example, in terms of income, there are many fields where a few "superstars" within the field earn millions, and those ranked just beneath them (in terms of reputation) make only a comfortable living. Think of the likely difference in earnings between the author of the Harry Potter books and authors who are in the next lower tier of sales. Real life has MANY "winner take all" types of situations!]

People Are Usually Shocked When They Open Their Eyes To This

"The 80/20 Principle also asserts that when we know the true relationship, we are likely to be surprised at how unbalanced it is. Whatever the actual level of imbalance, it is likely to exceed our prior estimates. . . Teachers may know that the majority of their disciplinary troubles or most truancy arises from a minority of pupils, but if records are analyzed the extent of the imbalance will probably be larger than expected. We may feel that some of our time is more valuable than the rest, but if we measure inputs and outputs the disparity can still stun us.

Why should you care about the 80/20 Principle? Whether you realize it or not, the principle applies to your life, to your social world, and to the place where you work. Understanding the 80/20 Principle gives you great insight into what is really happening in the world around you." The 80/20 Principle: The Secret to Achieving More with Less, by Richard Koch. Amazon Kindle Locations 214-24 through 224-35.

Real Life Also Has Many Feedback Loops And Sensitive Dependence On Initial Conditions

Real life also has many positive and negative feedback loops. The rich get richer; the poor get poorer. Furthermore, real life is often extremely sensitive to initial conditions. This means that even small advantages or disadvantages at the beginning of a process can have a huge impact on end results. Think of it as similar to a ship navigating its course with a compass. If the the course chosen is off by only a few degrees at the beginning, it will be off by many miles the further it sails.

We see many examples of this in everyday life. Those of us with common sense know that a good beginning for our children's lives dramatically increases the odds of their future success. Shrewd women know that how they begin an interaction with a man will impact the entire relationship.

WHAT ALL OF THIS MEANS FOR AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN
1. Stop Pretending That These Ratios Don't Exist

No matter how much African-Americans weep, wail, and gnash our teeth, these skewed ratios will continue to dominate real life. Nature is filled with imbalances. Everybody is NOT the same. In any field, by any measure, there are only a FEW outstanding people. Whatever "it" is, there will be a sea of relative mediocrity with only a handful of standouts in either direction (good or bad).

A critical point about this angle is to look at what a group's "baseline" is. A group's collective baseline is how you measure that group's general success or failure. Some collective baselines are MUCH higher than others. There's the mediocrity of being a lower-middle class person when your ethnic group is mostly affluent. [Oh, you can probably guess which ethnic/religious group I'm thinking of.] And then there's the mediocrity of being a poor, fatherless, African-American person who was born out of wedlock. If the odds are that you'll be mediocre, would you rather be "mediocre" in the sense of the first group or "mediocre" in the second group?

Most African-Americans resist the reality of these ratios because we're used to being on the losing side of these numbers. In fact, we've embraced a collective "loser" identity.

It never occurs to us that we have it within us to be SUPERIOR regarding anything that matters. It never occurs to us that we can be on the winning side of these ratios.

So, we have a mindset of trying to pretend that everything and everybody is the same. Pretending that everybody's "equal." So, we have a mindset of trying to coerce the "winners" into giving the "losers" (that would be us) large slices of their "pies." We want to try to force situations into an artificial, false veneer of "equality."

This is only a temporary solution to disparities and inequalities. It will always fail in the long-run because these ratios will always exist. And unless a group raises its collective "baseline," they will always be disadvantaged relative to others. They will continue to lose. Not only have African-Americans failed to raise our collective baseline, but we've allowed it to plummet.

Over the past few decades we've started saying things like "BMW = Black Man Working." What do these sorts of expressions say to the world about our baseline? Our collective's baseline is currently at ground level. And it will fall through the floor once the Endless Night of Permanent Underclass Status becomes entrenched.

2. Understand That "Equality Talk" Is A Subtle Trap

Equality talk is actually a subtle mental trap. If you really believe that "things aren't any better anywhere else," then you have no incentive to move anywhere to seek a better living environment. If you really believe that you're "the same" as everybody else, then you're not going to cultivate those traits of yours that are actually superior to the masses. And so on across the board.

All of this stems from embracing a mass loser self-identity. Equality talk is usually heard coming from losers who are trying to convince themselves that they have some merit. Winners don't talk that equality talk. Now, gracious winners might publicly engage in equality talk so as to not upset the losers around them; but that equality stuff is NOT their self-image. People who are winning feel that they have superior skills or traits that enable them to win. Losers feel that they were lucky to win.

3. Use These Ratios To YOUR Advantage. Embrace And Cultivate Your SUPERIOR Traits!

I often praise God for my parents. In terms of raising us, they were NOT for that false equality mess. Egalitarianism was not for their children. They never wanted us to be "equal" with anybody. They wanted our points of SUPERIORITY to shine brightly!

Ladies, stop thinking like losers who have to scramble for scraps! You can position yourself to be a winner who takes all! This applies across the board. From one's personal life to one's financial life. Keep in mind the fact that some people actually made a LOT of money during the Great Depression.

There are general things about us as Black women that are actually SUPERIOR to other women. You already know many of these traits, but somehow most of you don't take these things to heart and work with them to your advantage. I don't understand this behavior.

This includes surface beauty traits. You know that we generally age better than other women. You know that our complexions usually have a glow and vitality that others admire. You really KNOW that other people admire our curves! Non-Blacks have noticed and commented on all of this. Why don't YOU seem to know this? Why don't you cultivate these advantages?

[I know. . . Lord, I know it angers some of you, but I'm going to ask: Why persist in hiding your God-given curves under extra weight? I never said that it was easy. Don't you remember me complaining and whining every step of the way during the workout check-in posts? I'm still complaining about being sore, tired, etc. I complain, but I keep working out.]

This includes inner beauty traits. Generally speaking, African-American women are resourceful. We are industrious. We are intensely loyal. The problem is that we've got all of these traits harnessed in support of unworthy causes, goals and people.

There are specific things about YOU as an individual that are SUPERIOR to most others. Are you ready to embrace and cultivate your superior traits? Are you ready to be a winner who takes all?

The Sojourner's Path: Active Instead of Passive Living

Let's talk some more about personal transformation, and practical steps toward living out our Wildest Dreams. I've been reading a fascinating book titled How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World by a Libertarian ideologue named Harry Browne. The book can be found at http://www.trendsaction.com/

I generally don't care for Libertarian politics or ideology, but after reading several references to the book I decided to check it out for myself. I'm happy I did. The author talks about a lot of things that are easy to forget under the unquestioned routines of everyday life. And that's not even factoring in the learned helplessness that has become a large part of mass African-American, "new-school" culture.

It occurs to me that so many Black women have been indoctrinated into being what has been termed self-sacrificing "gravediggers," that it might be helpful to repeat and discuss some of these ideas here (my comments are in blue). Mr. Browne said:

"I've been told so many times that freedom is just a fantasy, that you can't live that way in the real world, that there are too many daily commitments that have to be met, that in real life things are much too complicated to be able to do what you want and to enjoy yourself.

But who made your life complicated?

You did, of course. It wasn't society, the economic system, the people you consider to be nuisances, your parents, or anyone else.

Every complication in your life today is the result of something you've allowed to happen. You initiated it, or you consented to it, or you've allowed it to continue. You are where you are today because you've chosen to be there. And you can choose not to be there. [Khadija speaking: This idea is often a bitter pill to swallow. It's emotionally so much more comfortable to totally blame others. The problem with blaming others is that it means ceding control over your life's possibilities to these other people!]

You'll have to pay for past mistakes, but no mistake warrants a life sentence. You can telescope those payments into the short term and get rid of them quickly. [There's no need to accept any sort of life sentence. Even those prisoners with life sentences don't accept them. They're busy writing to volunteer groups trying to get their convictions overturned! Why should we be any less resourceful?]

You can get rid of bad relationships, meaningless obligations, negative commitments. You can do anything you want. You're free ---- if only you'll realize it. Only you can choose to make things better for yourself. You can decide to stop 'going along' with things that are handed to you. You can decide to live your life as the free person you are.

Don't tell me that it can't be done. There are too many people who've already done it.

No matter where you are now, you can unravel all the knots that you've woven into your life. [This doesn't mean that it'll be easy; but it can be done.] You can decide to be free. No one else has to be convinced ---- it requires only your decision and action." [Hear, hear!] Amazon Kindle locations 3831-41 through 3841-50 (emphasis added).

Mr. Browne talks about the various measures one can use to assess how you're spending the bulk of your time. One measure is whether your activities are active or passive:

"3. Active-Passive Labels. This approach is similar to the last one. It will help you to see if you're making things happen in your life ---- or if you're just going along with what others want. Label each activity active or passive. The active label applies to anything you have initiated, the things you do because you have decided they should be done. The passive label should be attached to those activities you do because someone else wants you to do them. [Which is the "gravedigger's" self-selected lot in life.]

. . . As you apply these labels to your weekly activities, designate passive those things you do only to preserve a relationship (even if it's a relationship you value) --- such things as conversations that bore you, favors, etc. As you look at the labels, you can see how much of your time is necessary to preserve the relationship ---- and that should tell you if the situation is as compatible as you'd thought it was. [Yes, when looked at this way, it's possible to discover that many situations we involve ourselves in are actually not compatible with our interests, values or aspirations.]

Look for relationships that don't require that you tolerate unpleasant things in order to maintain them. With the right people, you should be spending most (if not all) of your time doing things that please you, that make sense to you ---- the things you want to do. Compromises seem necessary only because of inappropriate situations. If you're involved with the right people, the word 'sacrifice' shouldn't even be in your vocabulary."

[This is somewhat extreme for my tastes. I'm willing to make non-catastrophic (and usually small) sacrifices for those I value. Although, once I consciously thought about it, I realized that I'm willing to do this about 15-17% of the time. To me, having to do stuff that you find unpleasant (but the other person actually likes) 20% or more of the time means that you're not like-minded enough to have a mutually enjoyable friendship, etc. with the person.] Amazon Kindle locations 3761-72 through 3772-81 (emphasis added).

Another thing I've noticed is that so many African-American women are literally afraid to explore activities that genuinely interest them, unless these activities are also popular with the masses of African-Americans. This is a crazy way to live. You miss out on a lot of things like that. You also miss out on meeting other Black folks who happen to share your interests.

[My ex, who is also interested in martial arts, talked about how I was the only Black woman he knew who took martial arts classes. (He's African-American.) I've heard similar comments from others. Which is strange on a practical level---considering how much physical danger African-American women are subjected to on a daily basis in Black residential areas.

Since I brought this up, let me stress the following: One of the first things you notice in martial arts classes with guy partners is just how physically strong guys are. Even the smaller men. So, be advised that Buffy The Vampire Slayer is pure fantasy. Not to mention that many predators work out every day while they are in prison. No normal person who takes time to work for a living can match that prison-level of physical conditioning. Normal people also generally can't match the "I've got nothing to lose" mindset of many ex-cons. Normal people have things that they care about, including their own lives. However, it's still possible for even small women to learn practical skills like how to get out of, and away from, various types of grabs and holds.]

This active-passive test is a good one for taking stock of one's daily life and the people in one's life. It's a good way to see if you're in a state of true fellowship with the people around you. This matters.

In fact, during the emerging Endless Night of Permanent Underclass Status For African-Americans, this will be a matter of life and death for Black women.

WHY THIS WILL SOON BE A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH

It's all connected. The extreme isolation of so many Black women's lives is a recurring theme and underlying factor in so many of the problems we collectively face. It's one of the reasons I've been so agitated about Black folks' prospects in the current economic crisis. During the First Great Depression we at least had strong family and community ties for mutual support. With a majority out of wedlock rate, there aren't many strong families. These women and children have NO male protectors and providers. Black residential areas have long since stopped functioning as communities. During this current crisis, many Black women literally have nobody to watch their backs.

This means that when something goes wrong, these women and their children are likely to end up in the condition that Min. Farrakhan has described as "naked, hungry, and out of doors."

Part of the reason for this is because many African-American women are investing the bulk of their energy into non-reciprocal relationships with people who must be appeased with these women's service. If these people only come around or interact with you when they want something, what happens when you have nothing to give? Answer: Silence and apathy while you transition into being "naked, hungry, and out of doors."

This is why it's important to build true, reciprocal fellowships with as many people as possible. The odds of having that sort of relationship are increased if the relationship is built around genuinely shared interests and values. You're more likely to meet people who share your interests and values when you actively pursue your genuine interests. Instead of only participating in activities that are "approved of" by mass, popular Black culture.

For further reading, see True Fellowship, Part 2: Breaking Bread. http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2008/10/true-fellowship-part-2-breaking-bread.html

The Last Embers Of A Dying Flame: Will YOU Make It Out Before Darkness Falls?

This essay is contained in my new book. I'm delighted to announce that The Sojourner's Passport site has launched! You can visit it at http://www.sojournerspassport.com/.

Everyone, I can't thank you enough for your ongoing encouragement and support; I truly appreciate it. Your support is what made this possible. And here's a special shout-out to my web designers at Educo Web Design. They're nice people to deal with, and they do outstanding work!

Peace and blessings,
Khadija Nassif

The Sojourner-Artist: Have More Than One Iron In The Fire

I recently read the following blog post from a literary agent: http://bookendslitagency.blogspot.com/2009/06/more-thoughts-on-re-pitching-agents.html Among other things, she said: "I’ve always taught that if you have made significant changes to your book for one reason or another you should definitely consider re-pitching agents. " However, she added that she often worries about how pleased many aspiring authors are to hear this particular suggestion. She went on to say:

"I will tell you right now, if you don’t learn to move on, to write the next book and query the next book and write and query the next book after that you will never be published.

No agent and no publisher wants an author for only one book, and if you spend years reworking and re-pitching that same book you’re not making yourself a very marketable or publishable author." (emphasis added)

Even though I groaned when I read this last part (after all, it's HARD work to write just ONE book), it does make sense. People in general are accustomed to perceiving their goals in a "gonna fly now-Rocky" context of the one prize fight, the one hit song, or the one blockbuster novel that will propel them to the top of their field. Very few people contemplate the sustained effort it takes to create a body of work.

So, what does this mean to me? It means that after I finish the first draft of my novel, I'll set it aside for a while and write some short stories that I can enter into writing competitions. And then I'll start my second novel after I finish revising the first one. Onward and forward.

In most contexts, it's not good to depend upon one thing. This has been noted throughout the ages. As Baltasar Gracian said in his 1637 book, The Art of Worldly Wisdom:

"Double Your Resources. You thereby double your life. One must not depend on one thing or trust to only one resource, however preeminent. Everything should be kept double, especially the causes of success, of favor, or of esteem. . . Thus as nature gives us in duplicate the most important of our limbs and those most exposed to risk, so art should deal with the qualities on which we depend for success." The Art of Worldly Wisdom, pg. 54.

The Sojourner-Artist: Make Sure There's Something COMPELLING About Your Art

One of the recurring problems that I've noticed with most so-called "positive" art is that the artists never gave much thought to how they were going to sell or promote their work. Their art usually does not have a built-in, compelling aspect to it. Many of them seem to think that the fact that their work is "positive" is enough to make it sell and become popular. Ummm . . . NO! A commenter named Roslyn (who is a published, working author---check her out at http://www.roslynhardyholcomb.com/) alluded to this in an earlier conversation when she said:

"Danny Glover is another one who annoys the living stuffing out of me. Twenty years ago when he was huge making those Lethal Weapons movies he had the clout to do something more substantial, but he didn't. Now he's trying to get funding for Toussaint L'Overture movie. He's irate because producers are asking him, 'Where's the white hero?' Of course they are. I'm sure they're also asking 'Who's going to watch this movie?' Black folk won't support anything without a black man in drag, and white folk certainly aren't going to see a movie WITHOUT a white hero. Back in the day, he could've gotten studio backing for a small vanity film. But now? Uh no."

"Who's going to watch this movie?" is a legitimate, critical question.

"Why would anybody WANT to watch this movie?" is another question.

Yet another critical question is the one mentioned by the columnists over at WORDPLAY, "Is the premise naturally intriguing---or just average, demanding perfect execution?"

These sorts of considerations apply to more than just screenplays. They apply to art across the board. The people who created the classical crossover group named Bond know this. That's why they selected women musicians who can "pass" as fashion models. They know that sex sells. I strongly urge all aspiring Sojourner-Artists to keep these commercial considerations in mind when creating your work. Quality is not enough. There has to be some type of compelling "hook" to your work. You have to give thought to how and why your work will sell.

Consumer behavior is fairly consistent no matter what type of product is involved. There are a handful of people who actively seek out healthy, nutritious food that is good for them. But such people are not the norm. Similarly, there are a handful of people who actively seek out entertainment products that are high-quality and life-enhancing. Again, this type of consumer is not the norm.

Most people go with whatever is readily available. And what's readily available (read: heavily promoted) tends to become popular. Whatever type of work that becomes popular then becomes even more readily available (through sequels and imitators, etc.). Most "positive" artists haven't figured out how to break into this circular process. A negative manifestation of this circular process is why African-American arts have been spiraling down for the past two decades. Trash art begets more, and even worse, trash art.

A good beginning to answering the above questions is to read the following columns from WORDPLAY:

http://www.wordplayer.com/columns/wp01.A.Foot.in.the.Door.html
http://www.wordplayer.com/columns/wp02.Strange.Attractor.html
http://www.wordplayer.com/columns/wp03.Beachcombing.html
http://www.wordplayer.com/columns/wp05.Death.to.Readers.html

Black Women Need New Dreams and a Black Woman's Arts Movement

This essay is contained in my new book. I'm delighted to announce that The Sojourner's Passport site has launched! You can visit it at http://www.sojournerspassport.com/.

Everyone, I can't thank you enough for your ongoing encouragement and support; I truly appreciate it. Your support is what made this possible. And here's a special shout-out to my web designers at Educo Web Design. They're nice people to deal with, and they do outstanding work!

Peace and blessings,
Khadija Nassif

The Sojourner's Path: An Extended Reader's Money Quote From Beverly

The Reader's Money Quote is a statement that is of such insight and importance that it merits frequent and loud repetition. This Reader's Money Quote is from Beverly, blog host of My Crazy Cool Life. http://mycrazycoollife.blogspot.com/. I strongly urge everyone to check out her blog. You might learn something that could enrich your life!

While discussing the dynamics of our current situation, Beverly brilliantly laid out a technique that is essential in successfully walking the Sojourner's Path. It also happens to be one of the 48 Laws of Power described in the same-titled book by Robert Greene:

WIN THROUGH YOUR ACTIONS; NEVER THROUGH ARGUMENT

Beverly said the following [my comments are in blue]:

"I've been really thinking about this subject of African American Women loving themselves and there a few things I think each of us must be aware of as we move forward.

1. Many non-AA people are emotionally invested in our self-hatred. There are people out there (and I have met them) who receive huge self-esteem boosts at the thought of African American women (and men) feeling inferior to them. In other words, our self-hatred pays dividends in self-esteem for others. [(emphasis added by Khadija) Oh yes, and these people are highly invested in our self-hatred.]

2. African American women are (imho) almost ALWAYS seen as having low self-esteem even if it's not true for that particular individual. [Because this is the public image that many of us have foolishly presented to the world. In real life and on television. Don't get me started on the damage that has been done to us all by Black female fools on "reality" tv shows.]

I remember years ago while living in Los Angeles, a black male accused me of being jealous of white women's straight hair. Despite the fact that I wore natural hair and have NEVER hated my hair this man was convinced and emotionally invested in the thought of me being jealous of white women's hair. (smh) In other words, their emotional investment in our (real or imaginary) feelings of inferiority defy reality. Even if you value yourself, be prepared for those who will accuse you or secretly believe/hope that you feel inferior to them or some other group of people they hold in high esteem.

3. Not that any of us have anything to prove to anyone; but it is your actions that show how much you value yourself, not your words. [(emphasis added) This is the key mistake that African-Americans made during the 1960s. We talked that "Say it loud, I'm Black and I'm proud!" talk; but our collective actions never matched these bold words. At this point, non-AAs have learned to totally ignore our bluffing.]

I remember once again while living in Los Angeles, that a white women became so enraged at the fact that I wore my hair natural that she said something to me about my hair. I don't remember her exact words. But I do remember my response, which was: "I am going to continue to wear my hair like this and you are powerless to do anything about it." And I did continue to wear my hair exactly as I wanted. You see, this woman wasn't so angry about my hair being natural, she was angry about my hair being natural and me LOVING IT. Those are two hair examples (cuz folks got issues with my hair for sho' LOL); but it can apply to anything. Folks will grab onto anything and try to bring you down to size for THEIR benefit.

[Over the years, I've gotten a similar thing from a particular type of White racist about my Muslim name. They like to ask if my last name is my maiden name. The more timid racists ask my coworkers (instead of me) about this. As one of Min. Farrakhan's assistant ministers put it: "Whenever you give the former slavemaster a name that doesn't belong to him, then he wants to know how you got that name."]

4. Finally, once people realize that you as an individual African American woman has a healthy sense of self-respect and high self-esteem, with the accomplishments/actions etc to match, watch out! You will get one of two reactions...1) they will respect you and say you're the special black person (smh) or 2) they will secretly hate you and continue to harbor the belief that you feel/are inferior to them. Almost everybody believes (and yes I am going to generalize and we're talking about the U.S.A) that African Americans (especially African American women) are at the bottom of society.

Their logic often says: If African Americans are not inferior to them and their group then that must mean that they (the non-AA group) are at the bottom of society. I don't want anyone here to believe that people "out there" are going to "automatically" give us respect because we respect ourselves. This is a process. [Yes, we're counteracting centuries of negative training that these people have received from self-hating African-Americans.]

African Americans have a bad reputation for self-hatred so even if you are self-respecting you WILL run into folks who are going to test you. They are use to running all over black people and they are use to black people bowing down to them. They will expect the same from you. Be prepared. You must train people to treat you with respect. Punish them when they disrespect you and reward them when they behave in a way that's acceptable to you. [Punishing offenders will definitely speed up the overall learning curve for these other people!] That's the way you train them.

Eventually, as more of us grow and our reputation for self-hate vanishes (hopefully) this will change. But for right now, we will be treated differently than groups who are respected and must be prepared to challenge these fools."

Beverly, thank you for providing this Reader's Money Quote! You're helping to train generations of Sojourners! I can't thank you enough. Baraka Allahu feek! ["May God bless you!]

From the book The 48 Laws of Power, by Robert Greene:

"Image: The See-Saw. Up and down and up and down go the arguers, getting nowhere fast. Get off the seesaw and show them your meaning without kicking or pushing. Leave them at the top and let gravity bring them . . . to the ground." pg. 74. The original quote said "gently" to the ground, but I want these individuals who feed off of our lack of self-respect to come crashing down! LOL!