Friday, March 7, 2014

African-American Women: Here's Some Of The Fruit That You've Earned With Your Knee-Jerk, Rabid Support of “12 Years a Slave,” Part 2

A lot of you still don’t comprehend how reciprocity works. From Wikipedia (with emphasis in bold):

Reciprocity in social psychology refers to responding to a positive action with another positive action, rewarding kind actions. As a social construct, reciprocity means that in response to friendly actions, people are frequently much nicer and much more cooperative than predicted by the self-interest model; conversely, in response to hostile actions they are frequently much more nasty and even brutal.

The key phrase in that sentence is “responding to positive action with another positive action.” In other words, holding back your support and/or other goodies unless and until somebody does something positive for YOU.

NOT throwing on your Superwoman cape in support of Lupita Nyong’o and then HOPING that she’ll throw you some crumbs of appreciation.

NOT African-American (AA) women’s eternal behavior pattern of throwing on their Superwoman capes in support of various and sundry Black males and then HOPING that they’ll throw AA women some crumbs of appreciation.
Imma say some things the rough way.

A lot of y’all keep acting like the needy teenage girls and women who put out sex in hopes that volunteering sex will make men love them. Your unsolicited caping for Lupita Nyong’o follows that same pattern.
Lupita Nyong’o never asked you for your support. And, just like the men who happily accept the “no-emotional-or-material-investment required, no-strings sex” that needy, desperate women offer them, odds are she’ll never do anything for you. Because you were silly enough to “give it up” to her for FREE.

You “gave it up” to Lupita without requiring her to do anything for you FIRST in order to EARN your support.
Just like the needy girls and women who “give it up” in hopes of then receiving love, you “gave it up” in hopes of then receiving validation and support from this Lupita chick.

And just like the needy, desperate woman who finds herself still ignored and unloved after “giving it up for free,” some of y’all are starting to get a residual bad feeling about this whole Lupita episode. That bad feeling is one of many bitter fruits  y’all will reap because of your knee-jerk, unsolicited rabid support of the “12 Years A Slave” flick.
You “gave it up for free” and now you’re starting to grumble because Lupita has reaped the benefit of what you voluntarily gave her (and the rest of those foreign Blacks in that flick) for free, and gone on with nary a thought about you.

In this particular incident that growing bad feeling that you’re experiencing behind this episode is on you, not this Lupita chick. {slipping even further into slang} She didn’t steal nothing from you, because you “gave it up [to her] for free.” She didn’t ask you for nuthin’. She didn’t promise you nuthin.’ That was your silly choice to give her your unsolicited rabid support. And you got mad at those of us who questioned that silly choice from the very beginning.
If you don’t enjoy feeling used, then stop being That Dumb & Needy Woman Who “Gives It Up For Free.” Develop the self-love and self-discipline to hold out unless and until an individual proves by their actions that they’re worthy of your support.

ADDENDUM. I've been having an email conversation with a dear friend who made it even more plain. She just said:
You were actually very kind.

Here is the even rougher way....

Stupid is as stupid does, Ole Lupita ain' thinkin about none of y'all! All that money SHE is going to earn is money that will NEVER make it back into YOUR pockets.  Even small children aren't that stupid, they never willingly give up anything but not y'all.  Too bad, so sad!
And there it is.