Saturday, April 18, 2015

This is NOT Legal Advice

I’m an attorney, but nothing I write here or anywhere else online is legal advice. You obtain legal advice by hiring a lawyer. I repeat: The following is NOT legal advice.

A former blog reader brought THIS post to my attention, and I was alarmed by what I read. I’m not one of Christelyn Karazin’s fans. But I don’t have to be one of her fans to care about the safety and well-being of African-American (AA) Black girls in general, including her oldest daughter.

I’m NOT giving legal advice, or any other type of advice in this post. I’m simply mentioning some things that I would do in such a circumstance. I’ll save the scolding and warning for new school AA women until the end of this post. I would:

Document everything this “Internet Ike Turner” has posted online that pertains oneself and one’s family. That means:

·         Taking screenshots, screen captures.

·         Using a media converter to record, I would convert and download any relevant videos this creep has posted online (YouTube, etc.).

·         Printing out any and all menacing emails this creep has sent.

·         And so on in order to gather every bit of evidence possible.
I would do this quickly. Before the creep realizes he might have created legal exposure for himself, and starts deleting these materials.
With the above evidence in hand, I would contact ALL law enforcement authorities in my area. Including the local FBI field office, the county sheriff’s office,  the state police, the local city or suburban police department, the local district attorney’s office, the local city attorney’s office.
It’s nice when blog readers respond to appeals for them to “flag” offensive content, but when you really want this type of problem solved—permanently—it’s often best to go to law enforcement and bring the full force and power of the government crashing down on the online stalkers’ heads.
I would start with law enforcement, because if there’s sufficient evidence of criminal activity, the authorities can and will crack down without a victim having to invest money into seeking justice.
If the authorities feel there’s not enough for them to act upon, my next step would be to see an attorney about any private legal remedies that might be available. The problem is that this means having to spend money to get relief from some creep’s inappropriate behavior.
*Scolding for AA Black Women Who Overshare Online*
This type of harassment is exactly why it’s extremely unwise to overshare personal information online. Y’all don’t seem to comprehend that you’re letting an entire PLANET of unknown freaks into your personal business when you overshare online.
You don’t know anything about the numbers of deranged freaks who lurk on your blogs and listen in to your online conversations. But these freaks know a lot about YOU. Meanwhile, far too many of you young’uns (and older women who should know better) act as if your public online conversations are somehow private.
This [poorly dubbed but still effective in getting the point across] German public service announcement tells the tale about how some of you are letting the world rush into your home through your computer:
I know that my reactions are colored by prior work experience in the legal system. I know that pedophiles (including some of the ones I represented in the past) use those online photos and videos so many of y’all post of your children as shopping catalogs, “wish lists,” and masturbation prompts. Many pedophiles do the same thing with school class photos of underage children.

If you don’t like the idea of your child’s image being used in such a manner, then STOP flossing photos of your kids!

Some of y’all are so caught up in looking for attention, praise, and validation from other readers online that you never stop to consider the dangers involved in giving out so much personal information. Major celebrities have security. You don’t. Your children don’t.

I’m sure many of you have never heard of Asia McGowan (who was murdered by a DBRBM who was spewing hatred toward BW on YouTube. He was spewing hatred in response to her innocuous YouTube videos), but I remember her. See the What About Our Daughters post “YouTube Facebook Murder: Black Woman Slaughtered by CrazedFellow YouTuber and Facebook Stalker-Detroit Police Ignored Warnings byYouTubers” 

I also remember the actress Rebecca Schaeffer, who was murdered by a deranged stalker in 1989. I’ve been security-conscious since the very beginning of my BWE online activism. I have consistently urged other BW online to get serious about safety considerations, including in the context of being a BW blogger. TableTalk For Activists, Part 7: An Open Letter To Black Women Bloggers, You Tubers,And Event Organizers 

I’m not telling you this to scare you. I’m telling you this so you can start making some sensible, well-considered choices about the type and amount of personal information you share online.

Over the years I’ve been horrified to watch how easy so many of y’all make it for a stalker to find you. AND to find your children. In giving out so much personal information, you’re giving deranged individuals options they shouldn’t have. They shouldn’t have the option of deciding whether or not to “reach out and touch you” (or your children) in person.

The easiest way to block freaks from having these kind of options is to deny them access to personal information about yourself and your children. You don't even have to affirmatively do anything. Simply refrain from excess blabbing online; and refrain from posting photos of your kids online. [If you’re willing to take action, you can tell friends and family that you don’t want them posting photos of your children online.]

To those for whom “the shoe fits, I strongly urge you to stop leaving trails of online “breadcrumbs” leading freaks to your homes and your personal lives.

Breukelen Bleu’s (BW Think Tank) recent Facebook post and comment about all of this says it ALL about the permanent nature of conquered BM's hatred for BW. I’m republishing her comment below:

Breukelen Bleu Thats why I did it that way too. Some folk know who I really am and thats fine. But I stopped using my real name and pics cuz these fools out here are a mess and honestly, you cant rely on the black woman collective to have your back. As much as we complain about bm not standing up for us, we dont stand up for each other, either. You put yourself out here tryna help your sistren and when it brings foolishness back to you, you might just find yourself assed out.

Im so glad that Christelyn Russell-Karazin told them niggas to FUCK OFF. SWP has tried to come for me a few times, but we know mutual folk and I sent word that he might not wanna go that route.

I am SO glad that she panned the BEAUTIFUL backdrop of her surroundings at the end of the vid cuz she is right- the problem that these bum negros have is the idea that a DARK SKINNED BLACK AMERICAN WOMAN (not mixed race, not black hispanic, not black foreign or even African), is living well and a white man is helping her do it. The issue that is never really addressed with this so-called 'gender war' within the bc, is that at its core the anger that black males have with us is not about our hair, our attitudes or our looks. Its about their ultimate, visceral and primal HATRED of the Source of their Creation, and their desire to see us be wretched, unloved, uncared for, unprotected...and enslaved to them and their needs. This goes way beyond the emotional - its a PSYCHOLOGICAL pathology that stems from their own anger at being black MEN in a white mans world, with no power and no pride. All the rants and raves are just an excuse. The vitriol speaks to something much greater than black womens supposed affinity to feminism and our love for 'hair hats'. Its comes to a desire to see us HURT, in PAIN and WITHOUT HELP. Every harsh word, mean thought, evil act or abandonment of us and our children, is little more than hatred for themselves. They hate us because we create them and they hate themselves because they have been defeated - and are STILL being defeated. So to see us being validated, vindicated, and living a wonderful live, edified by the very men who they feel have denied them THEIR due, hits them in a primal place that they cant even put words too. Its like a person who was abused as a baby, and cant remember the abuse but acts out because of it. They dont even KNOW why they hate us so much- it cant be reasoned. All the excuses are just covers for something they cant quite name, but feel, desperately. So the ultimate goal is not to dismantle the system that conquered them or the win within the system that oppresses them -

But to destroy THEIR OWN IMAGE by destroying the womb that produced it. Living in patriarchy provides the frame work to hide their particular form of hatred for us. Under the guise of the accepted ideas of Man > woman > child, they are able to push forward their unique agenda of our destruction, which is not simply just the 'folly of male domination' but a fixed and lazer view desire to see BLACK women fail. Its even WORSE than what non-black males have done to us, because we dont BIRTH non-black males. We birth BLACK men and when your OWN Creation turn on you, its about much more than politics or economics. This shit is down to the bone - to the SPIRITUAL level and no amount of 'black love' gone fix it. Unless and until the black male begins to find love for HIMSELF and his own PERSONHOOD, despite his MANHOOD having been compromised within this system, he will continue to work on both the personal and collective level to DESTROY the image of his Mother.


And those who dont actively work to do so, will do so by omittance. They will stand back and allow the more vocal, dangerous and deadly of them, to destroy black women, the black community, and ultimately, themselves. They can talk about the white man all they want. The truth is, their greatest hatred is not of "whitey" - but of the black woman who didnt create them as white men. Its like a child born with AIDs hating their parents for infecting them with AIDS. You hate that you never stood a chance of experiencing live WITHOUT AIDS because your MOTHER gave it to you - its a part of your genetic code. And all the suffereing and stigma you endure because of it, ultimately, goes back to her. For black men, BLACKNESS is a defect. And they hate black women - their black MOTHERS - for infecting them with it. THAT is the thing that is rarely discussed. And until THAT is dealt with, NOTHING will save this race.


So a woman like Christelyn Russell-Karazin, with her beautiful children (including a absolutely GORGEOUS dark skinned daughter who clearly got her beauty from her MOTHER), her wonderful husband, her successful career as a blogger and leader in the BW Swirl Movement, not having to slave away at a stressful 9-5 and not having to model STRUGGLE as the vanguard of what it means to be black and female...

THAT is the ULTIMATE betrayal to them. How DARE we black women thrive in the system that keeps bm losing? How DARE we not simply wither and die on the vine while they mentally, emotionally, economically, romantically and genetically abandon us in our communities? How DARE we live the good life, with beautiful settings in good zip codes where our children wont have to go through metal detectors and get sniffed by police dogs just get into school? How DARE we decide that we will find the love, honor, respect and ELEVATION that they have denied us - elsewhere? THIS is the ultimate sin for a black woman, because it lets bm know that we will not agree to this arrangement of one sided loyalty and hatred from the very sons WE birth - and we will not agree that we are unworthy, unlovable and unappealing. We will not CONFIRm their hatred of us, by hating ourselves. THAT is what bothers them most about black women like Christelyn.

So guess what? In the end, THE BEST REVENGE IS SUCCESS (and maybe throwing some bad mojo their way, but thats another discussion. LOL) and when black women WIN! it totally undoes their ability to destroy us;

Our image. Our bodies. Our minds. Our babies. Our souls.

There is a scene in the movie, Sankofa, where a man who was the product of rape of black slave woman by a white man, so full of self hatred because of his lot in life as a mixed race slave who DESPERATELY wanted the freedom, power and position of the white man, KILLS his own mother in a fit of rage and psychological breakdown. He HATED her for creating HIS suffering, by the meer fact that she BIRTHED him.

THIS is what i believe is actually fueling this 'gender war' in the black community. And because of it, no matter HOW much black women lean in and try to be there for black men, we will NEVER be redeemed by them. Only the act of turning away MIGHT stimulate them to realize what they are losing. They are afflicted with a mass MENTAL ILLNESS. You cannot 'love' a mental pathology away. And you cannot 'love' a psychotic who is running at you with a knife. You must remove yourself from them to save yourself. And after you do so, life doesnt end. You move on and strive to THRIVE because you are WORTHY, even if they arent.

I am SO glad she SHOWED her success ON CAMERA. Because i can GUARANTEE you, NONE of the fools who support SWP lives look ANYTHING remotely close to what her day to day life looks like. If it did, they wouldnt have time to sit and create thousands of videos coming for us. They'd be too busy living and loving their fabulous lives, with their devoted wives, adoring children and beautiful legacy.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Beware of Advice From Outsiders Who Want You to Do As They SAY, and NOT as They DID For Themselves, Part 2

I'm so proud of many of the African-American (AA) women who have learned to apply the core values of Black Women's Empowerment, such as (1) screening ("vetting") people, places, ideas and things to see if they bring worthwhile benefits to one's life. And (2) [on-par] reciprocity, a large part of which involves having and setting boundaries with other people.

It warmed my heart to see the pushback to a certain type of commentary during a recent post at the For Black Women Only Facebook page. Here are the relevant screen captures below:

THANK YOU, Barby Jayne! And I liked the smooth way you called out this mess without having to go into the underlying ethnic issues involved.
For confused AA women, Imma say out loud some of the things you refrained some saying in that exchange.
#1 - Think about your OWN circumstances and context when examining ideas. 
Lifestyle optimization requires you to examine ideas from the vantage point of your own particular context and circumstances. This one statement will probably be a recurring theme in the blog posts here. It’s impossible to have an optimal lifestyle when you make critical life decisions based on other people’s circumstances. Listening to other people whose circumstances or interests are out of alignment with yours will throw your life into chaos and ruin. 
This is the primary reason so many African-American women are living in misery and hardship. They’re programmed to think about other people’s (read: Black men’s, and the already-dead Black community’s) circumstances and interests, instead of their own. Or they’re taking positions that only make sense in the context of nonblack women’s collective life circumstances.
The same concerns apply regarding the advice and commentary that foreign Blacks give to AAs. I say again: The advice that foreign Blacks give AAs often does NOT apply to (or work well within) our particular circumstances.
Sometimes unhelpful advice is due to good-faith accident because some foreign Blacks don't understand the dangers inherent in the cross-cultural "preaching" and advice they sometimes give to AAs. It's extremely dangerous for any doctor to prescribe medication for a patient when they don't know that patient's history.
Sometimes that unhelpful advice or commentary is due to deliberate sabotage. Which brings me to my next point.
#2 - Beware of advice from outsiders who want you to do as they SAY, and NOT as they DID for themselves!
For all their warnings to discourage AA women from going to Europe, I somehow doubt these non-AA "I truly believe the interaccial dating aspect has many blinded by some harsh truths" BW have left Europe to go back to their countries of origin/ancestral homelands.
"Do as I say, NOT as I did for myself" is almost always an okey-doke.
Unfortunately, falling for this "Do as I say, not as I did for myself and my 'tribe'" okey-doke is an old problem among AAs. As I mentioned in a post 6 years ago, that's how many Jews "did" AAs:
Unfortunately, this isn't the first time that outsiders have deliberately given African-Americans advice that they didn't follow for themselves. Many Jewish-Americans did the same thing throughout the 1960s. Jewish-Americans did not solve their problems with anti-Semitism by having protest marches. They solved their problems through education, and building Jewish businesses that could offer employment to Jewish people. However, whenever African-Americans attempt the same strategies, Jews (and other White Americans) have been quick to tell us that this is "separatism" and something that we shouldn't do.

The true test of what people really think is a good strategy is what they do for THEMSELVES. If somebody is telling you that you must do something other than what they did for themselves, watch out! And examine this person's motives. They probably don't wish you well.
In that post, I blasted a foreign-origin BW blogger who had been making extremely strident comments shrieking that AA women should not--and must not--divest from AA Black residential areas or from non-reciprocating entities such as most AA organizations, Black men who are not protecting and providing for Black women and children, etc.
This woman insisted that AA women must "stay and fight" to improve conditions in the [already dead] Black community. That blogger didn't "stay and fight" to improve conditions in her Black country. Her immediate family didn't "stay and fight" to improve conditions in their Black country. THEY LEFT. And apparently had no intention of ever going back to their Black country. Which is perfectly fine with me. Just don't try to block AA women from seeking out what's best for our own interests.
As I recall, while telling AA women we must "stay and fight" in what is now called Blackistan, that particular blogger was living in Seattle. Which is not exactly a hotbed of deadly violent crime, struggle or strife.
#3 - Feedback about AA women moving to Europe FROM an AA woman who has lived in Europe for 10+ years with her European husband.
In relation to the topic at hand, I've traveled quite a bit in Western Europe and I have an AA friend who has lived in a Western European country for over 10 years with her European husband. We've talked about this issue over the years, and here's what she had to say specifically in response to the discussion at the For BW Only Facebook page:
"More often than not, if one has mastered the language, respect the local culture, carry oneself well (dress, attitude, etc) and looks like someone that is not leeching* off the system" then one should do well in Western Europe as an AABW.
*That "leeching" bit is in reference to an unfortunate situation my friend has read about at one BW expat's blog (which I mentioned during a conversation at another blog): 
I’m not going to call the woman’s name (or name the country), but there has been a BW blogger who (as I recall, I haven’t read her blog in quite some time): 
(1) went to Western Europe,  
(2) didn’t bother to even try to learn the language (even a few phrases go a long way—with folks who aren’t French (LOL!)—non-French people appreciate a guest making the effort to try to learn their language (the French are prickly about their language and culture, but on the other hand they have a lot of good stuff to be proud of),  
(3) didn’t bother to try to learn the cultural expectations, which led to her having debates with minor government officials (a major NO-NO as a guest), 
(4) ultimately had a “swirl” bastard baby over there, and of course signed up for the FOR-NOW generous government benefits, 
(5) from what one could see in the photos she posted, routinely dressed in a revealing (and inappropriate—it’s best to dress conservatively when in somebody ELSE’s country) manner—- 
—-and then wondered aloud in multiple blog posts Why, Lawd, why?” wasn’t she being treated with respect by the typical random “native” over there. As if it was a mystery. Maybe she was mystified, but I wasn’t as I lurked and read her blog. 
Ladies, Please—for the love of God, DON’T do what this chick did (as I described above). Don’t ruin what might be a needed safe haven for sensible AA in the future!
Right now, AA women visitors are generally perceived as “exotic” and “nice” in these places. Don’t ruin it and give us a trashy image by engaging in the foolish behaviors this woman engaged in.
[I will note for the record that this woman is apparently of West Indian heritage. I don't want her foolishness attributed to AA women. We already have more than enough concerns of our own.]
Anyhoo, it's been my experience as a repeated visitor---and the experience of AA women I've talked to who live in Western Europe*---that AA Blacks are perceived differently and more positively than African and West Indian former colonial subjects in these countries. It's often easier for Whites to be friendly toward "total outsider" Black ethnic groups who don't share any negative history (slavery and/or colonialism) with them.
Outsider Black folks often get to be favorably "exotic." In the US, Africans and West Indians often get to be perceived by White Americans as preferable to native AA Blacks. And in Western Europe, AA Blacks often get to be perceived by Western Europeans as preferable to their various African and West Indian Black former colonial subjects. [*I emphasize Western Europe because from everything I've read and heard of Eastern Europe from AAs who have gone there, it's not a good environment for AA women looking to relocate.]
My sisters, you need to travel and see Western Europe for yourself. And work this "exotic Black outsider" advantage (and the advantage of American privilege) as much as you can while you're there. And STOP taking our foreign Black cousins' advice and commentary at face value!