This essay is contained in my new book. I'm delighted to announce that The Sojourner's Passport site has launched! You can visit it at http://www.sojournerspassport.com/.
Everyone, I can't thank you enough for your ongoing encouragement and support; I truly appreciate it. Your support is what made this possible. And here's a special shout-out to my web designers at Educo Web Design. They're nice people to deal with, and they do outstanding work!
Peace and blessings,
Khadija Nassif
______________________________________________
I've already discussed the public handling of Internet Ike Turners in an earlier post. http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2009/03/table-talk-for-activists-part-4.html Now, in light of subsequent events, I feel the need to mention some behind the scenes precautions that women who have an online presence need to take. Here's a comment that I made in response to one of Faith's recent posts (she's the blog host of Acts of Faith In Love And Life, which is on my sidebar blogroll). I've added links to several news stories:
"Well, first things first: I believe that every woman blog host and YouTuber needs to take security issues seriously. I remember reading a news story a while back about how women blog hosts across the board (and no matter how innocuous their subject matter) are so much more likely to be blog stalked and harassed by male readers. http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0geu5Xo4H5KvfwA9uVXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTEybzQ3Z2gwBHNlYwNzcgRwb3MDMwRjb2xvA2FjMgR2dGlkA0Y4NjFfNzg-/SIG=12btiv5t8/EXP=1249915496/**http%3a//abcnews.go.com/GMA/Technology/story%3fid=3104264
Meanwhile, so many women (especially AA women) have been programmed to nervously laugh off male acts of aggression. For example, I'm thinking of a disgruntled BF reader at my blog who was angry when I made a comment about this a while back.
She characterized my comments as paranoid; and defiantly stated that she was not going to "live in fear," etc. In other words, she was not going to take online security issues seriously, nor was she going to take DBR-Black male commenters' online aggression seriously. She took this posture even though the hate comments from DBRBM had driven her off her own blog! Even though she shut down her own blog due to BM harassment, she ANGRILY ran to another BW's blog to badmouth me because I talked about security issues. The mind boggles.
All of this was before a young Black woman named Asia McGowan was murdered by a DBRBM who was spewing hatred toward BW on YouTube. He was spewing hatred in response to her innocuous YouTube videos. http://www.whataboutourdaughters.com/2009/04/youtube-facebook-murder-black-woman-slaughtered-by-crazed-fellow-youtuber-and-facebook-stalker-detroit-police-ignored-warnings-by-youtubers/
[Incidentally, there's a BM website that hails this killer as a hero. I'm not going to name it. I don't give publicity to racist/violent/sexist sites.]
In any event, I strongly urge all women blog hosts to:
(1) Keep track of the trolls' IP addresses and geographical locations;
(2) Maintain a log of print outs of the trolls' comments (whether you publish them on your blog or not---you need to keep a file on these nuts);
(3) And most importantly, be prepared to call your local FBI field office, local law enforcement, and local law enforcement in the troll's jurisdiction THE MOMENT the troll submits a comment that you feel is in any way threatening!
In terms of this latest DBR-killer, it just goes to show that despite the seeming differences between various types of nuts (racists, DBRBM, sexists, religious fanatics, etc.), what they ALL have in common is that they HATE women. Peace, blessings and solidarity."
Ladies, an Internet Ike Turner has already KILLED a young African-American woman. He wasn't the only Internet Ike Turner that's capable of, and eager to commit, violence against women. There are others. Many others.
While browsing through various blogs, I can see that many of the African-American women commenting online haven't really let this sink in. There is still hesitation in their voices about calling law enforcement on those Internet Ike Turners that make threats. It's as if you don't want to acknowledge that many of these nuts would like to physically harm you.
Many of you want to minimize the threat by pretending that it's all about a particular Internet Ike Turner's mental illness. And yes, from what readers have sent me of their ramblings, several of them are clearly mentally ill. But in focusing on any particular Ike's probable mental illness, you're missing the main point. The main point is that the Internet Ike Turners are threats. Threats to be managed by proper security precautions and techniques. To a woman who is wounded, maimed or killed by an Internet Ike Turner (like Asia McGowan) does it matter if they're mentally ill? NO, it doesn't matter.
A secondary point that many women want to fixate on is that the mentally ill Ikes are encouraged and supported by a viciously sexist African-American subculture that supports violence against Black women and girls. Modern African-American culture supports, encourages, and excuses all sorts of violence against Black women and girls. From the sexual molestation of Black girls that R. Kelley's Black fans support, to the beating of women that Chris Brown's Black fans loudly support. Does any of this matter to a woman who is wounded, maimed, or killed by an Internet Ike Turner? NO, it doesn't matter.
Ladies, focus on what matters! What matters is taking proper security precautions for your online and offline activities. I would strongly urge you to take the steps I've outlined above in terms of your online work.
In terms of any offline gatherings that you sponsor, I would strongly urge you to hire security. From what I've been told, several Internet Ike Turners are making threats of physically disrupting future events sponsored by and for African-American women. You need to take these threats seriously and prepare for them.
As an additional step, I would urge event organizers to hire a private investigator to film and photograph EVERY Black male that:
(1) Seeks entry into the event (since they have no legitimate reason for being there unless they are an invited speaker); and/or
(2) loiters around outside the event; and/or
(3) appears to be watching who's going in and out of any event that you're sponsoring.
Some of the Internet Ike Turners might not be bold enough to try to physically crash your event; but some of them will want to conduct hostile surveillance on the Black women who attend your event. You need to watch the people who are watching you. This is what law enforcement agencies do in terms of filming activists at protest marches.
Ladies, get real about your own safety and the safety of your guests.
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37 comments:
We definitely need to wake up in regards to personal security...Black women cannot afford to fly towards the sun with wax wings on...FAR TOO MANY FACTIONSrely on us to be the "Good 'Ol Mules"...More BW are leaving the "helper" "standby" "be-all" "make-do" lot in droves...Scary to those who have benefited from these roles...Likened to a 2yo who being told "NO"...The same are threatened whenever ANY talks of leaving the box are presented...It could be IR dating, leaving certain neighborhoods, traveling, and/or requesting more police presence for crime...This is especially vital to BW...Demonstrating to law enforcement that we do not simply 'go along to get along' for the sake of some unfounded Black unity facade...This is mandatory in order to have crimes committed against BW & girls more seriously...I would like to share some resources if it pleases our blog moderator Khadija:
http://thecwexperience.wordpress.com/2009/05/25/personal-security-im-gonna-need-everyone-to-wake-up/
http://thecwexperience.wordpress.com/2008/10/26/learn-the-gift-of-fear-how-black-women-are-kept-on-the-hamster-wheel-compliant/
I normally refrain from referring to my own blog in others homes...But the information provided contains many relevant links and is vital for BW to be aware of...
CW,
You said, "We definitely need to wake up in regards to personal security."
DEFINITELY. Let's be real. DBRbm are ALREADY wounding and killing BW for refusing to give them their phone numbers, etc. What does anybody think will happen as increasing numbers of AA women escape from the presence of these miscreants?
I'm appalled by the level of denial and childish thinking about this issue among so many AA women. Some women figure that if they put their fingers in their ears, then DBRbm-inflicted violence won't happen to them. Other AA women think that if they ingratiate themselves with the Internet Ike Turners, that they'll be rewarded. [These "Ikettes" WON'T be rewarded with anything except a pat on the head, a Scooby snack, and the command that "sics" them after other BW.] Other naive AA women believe that they can reason with these nuts. No, no, and no.
Of course DBRbm feel threatened by AA women talking about seeking abundant life! Any parasite will get upset about the host body disconnecting from them. By definition, parasites CANNOT sustain themselves. Even if they hate the host, they literally need the host body. If the host body ever wakes up, it's "game over" for the parasite.
I'm usually not thrilled about people posting links in the comments section, but this is an exception. Your previous blog posts regarding security are directly on target and EXTREMELY helpful. THANK YOU for mentioning them.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
"...Of course DBRbm feel threatened by AA women talking about seeking abundant life! Any parasite will get upset about the host body disconnecting from them. By definition, parasites CANNOT sustain themselves. Even if they hate the host, they literally need the host body. If the host body ever wakes up, it's "game over" for the parasite..."
This is what many BW FAIL completely to understand...They believe these factions simply want to "dialogue"...However, it is more sinister than that...Learn to examine motives and ask questions
First and foremost: "Qui Bono?"...
-Who benefits from this deal?
-Why everytime BW discuss the leaving and avoidance of destructive situations, reporting harassment (and other crime against us), or otherwise presenting more options, do we get a barrage of gatekeepers and angry Dan's flooding the conversation?
(Ref Linking: Indeed Khadija...Just let me if I'm ever being inappropriate, because that would never be the intent...I'll just save my "Viagra" advertising links for another day! LOL)
There is truly a "clear and present" danger.
Ladies - when you have made your choice to leave a toxic environment, I urge you to use "stealth". Tell no one of your plans. Execute necessary tasks in private and outside of the environment that you are planning to leave.
If it involves a physical move, say nothing to anyone as people talk. Develop a "cover story" if necessary to defer suspicion.
It is your life that is at stake, and it is an apt analogy by Khadija, these relationships are often parasitic. There is no healthy mutual benefit.
I will keep repeating, the TIME IS NOW to leave these toxic environments.
GREAT advice Khadija.
I see you're on this issue like white on rice.
Future event organizers need to take seriously your common sense precautions.
I can totally imagine these DBRBM loitering in front of the entrances attempting to intimidate the BW who wish to attend.
Law enforcement needs to be involved if any BW feels her rights and/or potential safety is in jeopardy at these events.
It's been my personal experience that the Police are more than willing to get involved to protect our rights to freedom of assembly and association.
Which are constitutional rights.
BUT, we have to be willing to ask for help.
I've had to bring heat in the past and will do it again in a heartbeat if necessary.
Thanks for reminding all of us of this. I definitely log all web activity. I bet we'd find some of the same IP addresses. I have NO problem filing a report whether law enforcement sees it as pending emergency or not. We have to maintain a paper trail and I have a folder titled Potential Police Action where I save this. Any man who thinks he can argue or intimidate a woman online needs to be considered an immediate threat.
I have been attacked and verbally harassed by grown male children during the day and had to learn the hard way: do NOT wait for anyone else to help you. People will stand around and watch, (some even laugh) or act as if they don’t see. I finally got a cell phone last fall and take it with me everywhere; even if I’m just walking across the street for groceries.
I won’t lie, I hate cops. Growing up in a deranged household, I use to walk to the police station all the time with bruises and fresh bleeding wounds on my face to report getting beat at home. They would be all concerned until they found out it was my parents as if that makes it legit: “Okay, and what do you want us to do about it?” Watch out for some black women and girls too, if they’re anything like my mom...
Great post.
CW,
You said, "...I'll just save my "Viagra" advertising links for another day! LOL"
Thanks! LOL!
_______________________
Karen,
You said, "Ladies - when you have made your choice to leave a toxic environment, I urge you to use "stealth". Tell no one of your plans. Execute necessary tasks in private and outside of the environment that you are planning to leave.
If it involves a physical move, say nothing to anyone as people talk. Develop a "cover story" if necessary to defer suspicion. It is your life that is at stake..."
Yes, stealth is CRITICAL to success when it comes to escaping Black residential areas. I know how hard it can be for so many BW to NOT confide in anybody, but as Karen said, your life (and that of your children) is literally at stake!
The thing is that most of y'all have only identified the OBVIOUS haters that are around you. Once you escape, or have your breakthrough, or achieve anything else that involves a significant step toward abundant living, I guarantee that you'll be amazed to see a lot of covert haters "break their cover."
This is life and death here. Remember the WWII slogan, "Loose lips sink ships."
Part 2
Felicia,
You said, "GREAT advice Khadija. I see you're on this issue like white on rice."
Thank you for your kind words about the post; I truly appreciate it.
Recently, I've been concerned by some of the EXTREMELY naive comments from AA women that I've read in the blogosphere about these security issues. I could sort of understand BW women saying that type of dumb **** about "not living in fear," yadda, yadda, yadda BEFORE the murder of Asia McGowan. But NOT after that. That murder should have been the wake-up call about what these IITs and other types of BM trolls are capable of.
I know that much of this reflects how AA women have been brainwashed to cast BM in the role of comrades in the struggle, no matter what these males are doing. It's mentally very difficult for many AA women to identify unknown, unproven, and even overtly hostile BM as threats.
You said, "It's been my personal experience that the Police are more than willing to get involved to protect our rights to freedom of assembly and association. Which are constitutional rights.
BUT, we have to be willing to ask for help." (emphasis added)
This last thing you mentioned is part of what prompted me to write this post. The first denial position is the "I'm not going to take this seriously because I'm not going to live in fear" nonsense.
The second denial position is "Law enforcement won't respond if we call. The unspoken part of this statement is "So what's the point of calling?"
First of all, I wonder if the BW saying this have EVER called law enforcement for any reason. I suspect that they probably haven't ever called law enforcement on Negroes (due to the "stop snitching" cultural programming). So how would they know what law enforcement will or won't do?
Second, on those (praise God) extremely rare occassions (twice) that I've had to call law enforcement (about some disruptive, threatening Negroes), they responded quite promptly. And they removed the Negroes from the environment.
Third, even if those who take one's first call aren't responsive, whatever happened to being persistent? After all, this is life and death that we're talking about here. People aren't willing to go the extra mile to preserve lives? What's up with that?
IIRC, in the Asia McGowan case, somebody emailed or called the local police department about the Internet Ike Turner's online threats ONCE. ONE phone call or email tells me that the person who's reporting this is NOT serious. People exert more effort in following up when they order a pizza for delivery!
When you're serious, you're going to call as many times or as many people as necessary until you get some sort of response. You'll also WRITE a letter and send it by certified mail. You'll also WRITE these letters to more than just the local police department: You'll cc the local sheriff's police department, the local FBI field office, AND local media. That is, if you're serious.
_______________________
Faith,
You're welcome! You said, "We have to maintain a paper trail and I have a folder titled Potential Police Action where I save this. Any man who thinks he can argue or intimidate a woman online needs to be considered an immediate threat."
Exactly.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Petite.Pomme,
You said, "I have been attacked and verbally harassed by grown male children during the day and had to learn the hard way: do NOT wait for anyone else to help you. People will stand around and watch, (some even laugh) or act as if they don’t see. I finally got a cell phone last fall and take it with me everywhere; even if I’m just walking across the street for groceries."
This is the stone cold truth. ESPECIALLY in Black residential areas. NOBODY is looking out for AA women. Until we escape these Black residential environments, and find quality husbands to provide for and PROTECT us (and our children), this means that we have to look out for ourselves.
Among other things, this means having 911 on speed dial on our cell phones. In the online context, this means documenting what the IITs are saying and doing. This means having and creating various paper trails when we contact law enforcement.
When advocating for clients at work, I've seen repeated examples of how previously disinterested public officials who got off their behinds AFTER receiving a letter by certified mail from me, with copies of the paper trail enclosed, and cc'ed to others.
In most cases, these previously disinterested government functionaries aren't responding because I'm an attorney---they have their own attorneys. They're responding because they can see the relevant paper trail for themselves. And they see that if they don't respond, there will be consequences.
My clients could have done this all by themselves. Those clients that I've trained to take these steps get results. All by themselves. Without having to call me.
The thing is that folks can't be lazy in terms of looking out for their own safety.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Hello Khadija,
Another amazing post. And very timely. I am planning on attending an event and taking as many women with me, but this gives me more to think about. I kind of froze when I read your comments. I am praying that no one tries to crash these events, but even if there is security I probably need to be conscious about my surroundings, going to and from the event, and just being prepared for a worst case scenario - as well as the women in my party. I guess you never know what may happen - with men like this.
I have always suspected that the ITTs were capable of physically harming before the murder of Asian McGowan - rest her soul. In my mind they are no different than the night riders in the KKK during Reconstruction and onwards or the neo Nazis. I have always felt that their hate speech was designed to incite violence against BW and girls. When you have that level of hate being spouted with that kind of intensity - violence and be the only likely and predictable result. And we all know that there are men who are already attacking, maiming, raping, and killing BW and girls so this extra push is all they need to go that extra mile or push fence sitters over the edge into actual action.
When I first started visiting Evia's blog I asked why couldn't BW band together to seek a protected status and go after some of the entertainers and regular Joe's [or at least influence public perception] that what these guys are doing/have done is a hate crime/hate speech. To show them that there are consequences for this - to chop many of these men off at the knees so to speak.
You can't say just any old thing about Jews and you most certainly can't say anything old thing about White women or people will come down on your head and crush your skull.
At any rate I am puzzled at the "I won't live in fear.." comment. Maybe another factor influencing this in addition to the ones that have been mentioned is the "strong BW" spiel? That BW can handle/take/fight/deal with this alone. But at any rate it is definitely some scary magical thinking.
I don't know how the person that said this made the connection that using law enforcement equals living in fear. I would tend to think the opposite - that you are using the resources available to you as a preemptive measure so you don't have to live in fear. Just bc she ignores them - I will guarantee they will not go away - if anything I think that makes her an easier target.
Part 2
You said, "At any rate I am puzzled at the "I won't live in fear.." comment...But at any rate it is definitely some scary magical thinking."
Here's what ticked me off about this particular individual's actions:
First, DBRBM ran her off her own blog with their hate speech directed at HER, but her anger and venom was reserved for another BW (me) who was talking about taking security precautions! How insane is that?!
Second, this particular individual was angry enough to then run over to another Black woman's blog to badmouth me for talking about security precautions. That was some typical foolish, BM-identified, BF mess. Instead of focusing their chagrin on the BM who are oppressing and THREATENING them, these type of women only find their voice when talking to (or about) other BW.
Third, this same person recently outed herself in response to me posting this same comment (that I quoted in this blog post) over at WAOD. She had the nerve to talk about how she was "disappointed" to read my anonymous reference to her. Well, I was "disappointed" by her original antics. I was "disappointed" by her choice to go around minimizing BW's legitimate security concerns.
I ignore many things. However, there are some things that I don't ignore. Or forget.
I don't ignore people playing games with BW's physical safety. I don't ignore people who are trying to pressure and guilt-trip AA women into remaining in dangerous so-called communities. I also don't ignore people who want to try to de-legitimize BW's legitimate security concerns. Now, I'm NOT on other people's timetables with this. I reserve the right to address things at the times and places that I feel are appropriate.
Fourth, I'm always disgusted by people who can't take what they dish out to others. What this person and a few other individuals don't understand is that I'm NOT a cheek-turning Christian. I reserve my God-given right to treat people in the exact same manner that they treat me. And I reserve the right to do so at the time and place of my choosing.
I see that far too many Black folks have lost all comprehension of the concept of accountability. Culturally, we let too many people slide with far too much. Much of this is the result of having a slave-master imposed, DISTORTED view of Christian teachings. How else could anybody think that they can do things without being called on it? That's an irrational expectation that I'm not obligated to accomodate.
Anyhoo, the bottom line is that the murder of Asia McGowan has put us all on notice about what BM trolls are capable of. They were always capable of violence. Now, we know this for certain. And we should act like we know, and take proper precautions.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Many of you want to minimize the threat by pretending that it's all about a particular Internet Ike Turner's mental illness. And yes, from what readers have sent me of their ramblings, several of them are clearly mentally ill. But in focusing on any particular Ike's probable mental illness, you're missing the main point.
Yep, so many bw like to focus on a "particular" Ike Turners 'mental illness' or DBRness as if he is "the only one" because it allows them to feel that the predators are out there way distant from them. It allows them to make invisible ALL the other predators swarming around them. It makes them feel safe as in 'if I can't see you, then you can't see me.'
Some bw see predators as simply "misunderstood brothas." They're a part of what I call the "Be Kind To Predators" league. The typical black female in a black residential areas or an all-black social circle of any strata is a card-carrying member of that league. But after the predator has preyed on their daughter, cousin, the little girl down the street, girlfriend, mama, or Sister so and so at the church, they're SURPRISED. As I've pointed out, AAs are PERPETUALLY surprised. That's a defense mechanism. That helps them to avoid getting prepared. Getting prepared takes self-discipline and WORK and that's to be avoided at all costs. LOL!
Also, some bw think that if they're kind to predators, the predator will be kind to them. Predators are not girl scouts or good Samaritans. That's one of those AA made-up fantasy notions. I've never seen or even heard of that among other groups of people that I've lived among (Africans and whites). And those old AAs who used to sit on my grandmother's porch would have called that type of thinking straight-up hooey. I've noticed that AAs have plenty of made-up fantasy notions that don't work in the real world, but the masses of AAs STILL cling to the notions and want to fight you if you try to pry them loose.
We've said this before but we need to keep repeating that AA women need to QUESTION EVERYTHING they believe or even think they know. I guarantee you that at least 80% of it is a part of The PROGRAM that is making it easier for others to use you and drain you emotionally, financially and otherwise.
Part 2
Being kind to predators does not work, but it's the main strategy that most AAs use to reform bm predators. This is why so many AA women will become involved with predators thinking that love, kindness, and support will make him all better. LOL!! Becoming an emotional, physical, or sexual predator is a process. Therefore, it takes years of the right re-socialization to even begin to undo the pattern.
Also, some bw have predator sons, cousins, etc. living in their houses. They know that these males will hurt them and they're justifiably afraid. These predator males do NOT spare ANYBODY. I know 2 bw who have predator sons living in their houses right now. I listen to how these women talk about their sons. These women are afraid of their predator sons. They both fervently hope that their sons will just leave one day. One of these women is working class and the other is middle class. This is happening across the nation. Somebody is feeding and housing these predators when they're not incarcerated and it's usually an AA woman who is scared or feels guilty about cutting him loose. After all, they've been taught that they must be kind to bm predators. Or else.
I've never met a bm who is a member of the Be Kind to Predators league. Males/men KNOW what other males are capable of and they're ready to bust a cap if necessary on another negro male. And DO so--frequently.
Even my minister talks about busting caps if another bm messes with him. He talks about doing that IN THE PULPIT. We all sit there and laugh. SMH Even the predators sitting in the church laugh about this, and we know who these predators are.
AA women are the only people in this society who will say stupid stuff like, "Well, maybe we just need to talk to or hug brotha predator and he'll stop being a predator." LOL!!!!
AAs are the only folks who I've been around who urge others among them to be kind to predators, and the only folks I've encountered who laugh about all the predators among them. Other folks are "preparing" for these predators. They're busy building cells and boxes.
Evia,
You said, "Yep, so many bw like to focus on a "particular" Ike Turners 'mental illness' or DBRness as if he is "the only one" because it allows them to feel that the predators are out there way distant from them. It allows them to make invisible ALL the other predators swarming around them. It makes them feel safe as in 'if I can't see you, then you can't see me.'"
Yes, while these AA women are mentally on Fantasy Island, violent HYENAS are swarming all around them and their children.
You said, "The typical black female in a black residential areas or an all-black social circle of any strata is a card-carrying member of that league. But after the predator has preyed on their daughter, cousin, the little girl down the street, girlfriend, mama, or Sister so and so at the church, they're SURPRISED. As I've pointed out, AAs are PERPETUALLY surprised. That's a defense mechanism. That helps them to avoid getting prepared. Getting prepared takes self-discipline and WORK and that's to be avoided at all costs. LOL!"
Time out on the Be Kind to Predators League, which is some new-school madness. With old-school BM, certain types of BM predators would routinely "come up missing" (or be found face down dead in an alley) past a certain point.
For just one example, back in the day, Ar-ruh Kelly wouldn't have been able to rack up such large numbers of little Black girls as victims of his sexual molestation. One of those first few girls' BM relatives would have caused him to "come up missing." Problem solved.
Part 2
You said, "Also, some bw have predator sons, cousins, etc. living in their houses. They know that these males will hurt them and they're justifiably afraid. These predator males do NOT spare ANYBODY. I know 2 bw who have predator sons living in their houses right now. I listen to how these women talk about their sons. These women are afraid of their predator sons. They both fervently hope that their sons will just leave one day. One of these women is working class and the other is middle class. This is happening across the nation. Somebody is feeding and housing these predators when they're not incarcerated and it's usually an AA woman who is scared or feels guilty about cutting him loose. After all, they've been taught that they must be kind to bm predators. Or else."
I've seen this too. The AA women who are feeding, housing and clothing BM predators are a large part of the problem. I don't care if they're afraid. They are endangering everybody else around them by having these hyenas in their homes.
And, like you mentioned, somebody doesn't turn into a violent predator overnight. It's a process. These women should have cut these predators loose before they escalated to the point where they had reason to be physically afraid of them. This is the end result of these women's denial during earlier steps in the "he's turning into a violent monster before our eyes" process.
And you're correct that it's only AA women who are programmed to pet and hug predators. Other males DON'T pet, hug, or stroke male predators.
You said, "AAs are the only folks who I've been around who urge others among them to be kind to predators, and the only folks I've encountered who laugh about all the predators among them. Other folks are "preparing" for these predators. They're busy building cells and boxes.".
That's right. Those foolish AA women who are card-carrying members of the Be Kind to Predators League are hoping that the predators will attack them last. But that's NOT how it works. Predators are predators, and NOT warriors.
Predators are looking for the EASIEST prey. Which usually means prey that won't/can't resist, or try to hurt the predator. Ladies, guess who fits that description? Those AA women who are part of the Be Kind to Predators League, and those AA women who are playing the "if I act like I don't see you, then you won't see me" mental game.
Ladies, wake up and act like you understand what time it is!
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Evia said...
"Other folks are "preparing" for these predators. They're busy building cells and boxes.
These "other folks" know what time it is and I'm 100% behind them.
Many of these programs meant to rehabilitate these monsters are failing because these monsters themselves don't WISH to be rehabilitated.
If a desire for change isn't coming from within, it doesn't matter what's coming from without.
That inner drive for normality is simply not there with these thugs.
Plus, they have a whole "community" and Civil Rights industry busy making excuses for their degeneracy. Blaming everyone - especially WM and BW - BUT them and their often non existent sperm donor black "daddies".
These thugs are welcomed by large segments of the "community" with open arms in spite of their damage, therefor these predators have NO incentive to change.
These "other folks" will continue to build cells, boxes, and cages for these predators for the conceivable future.
Because they'll be DAMNED if they let what's happened to the "bc" happen to their communities.
As a culture, they will fight tooth and nail to prevent their women and girls from being in the sorry and dangerous predicament that growing numbers of BW and black girls are in.
Smart BW need to align themselves with men coming from STRONG communities/cultures/backgrounds who can provide safety for them and their vulnerable offspring.
Men who were RAISED by their fathers and/or other men in their environment to love, defend, and protect their womenfolk and young.
The next generation.
Men with THESE nonnegotiable qualities regardless of "race" are the ONLY men on this planet that BW (or any woman for that matter) need to be interested in.
We see the sorry and disturbing results of BW continuing to disregard common sense in favor of stupidity/ignorance (largely due to the "communities" ANTI-life conditioning of black women and girls) EVERY day.
And it's NOT pretty.
I urge as many BW to free their minds as possible. That, and don't announce but BOUNCE.
Because IMO these days in the "community" Black women and black girls are simply viewed as collateral damage.
PAWNS in a non existent "war" that most BM left EONS ago.
"JUST bounce" is what I meant to say.
Who ever came up with that phrase is a genius. It's simple, memorable, and to the point.
@Reader whose comment I just rejected a minute ago:
As I say in the comment policy above: "Profanity and hate speech are not welcome and will not be posted."
Please note that my ban on hate speech also includes anti-gay/lesbian slurs.
Reader, no harm, no foul---we're cool. I'm just making this policy clear for those who might not have been aware of it.
[I know, I know...A policy of including anti-gay/lesbian slurs as hate speech is somewhat surprising for a Black blog; especially an African-American Muslim blog. However, I want justice across the board. For everybody.]
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Great topic. Very much needed. Haven't had time to read all the comments yet, but I wanted to mention that there are also a lot of black women online who also like to spend their time attacking and near-stalking non-conformist black female bloggers/youtubers. They seem quite satisfied to do some men's dirty work.
DB,
Thank you for your kind words; I truly appreciate it.
You said, "...I wanted to mention that there are also a lot of black women online who also like to spend their time attacking and near-stalking non-conformist black female bloggers/youtubers. They seem quite satisfied to do some men's dirty work."
Ah, yes...the "Ikettes" that we discussed during Part 5 of this Table Talk For Activists series. The same security precautions need to be taken in terms of online stalking and threats from Ikettes.
Furthermore, we need to keep in mind that some of these Internet Ike Turners often pretend to be BW online, and post under assumed female names. It helps them spread their anti-BW poison by posing as BW.
Up to this point, AA women have allowed an extremely permissive online atmosphere to be established where the Ikes feel perfectly comfortable committing online crimes against BW bloggers, You Tubers, etc. Too many BW have failed to take security issues seriously. Although, I can see that this previous negligent attitude is shifting after one Internet Ike Turner murdered Asia McGowan.
As more BW bloggers, You Tubers, and others start taking proper security precautions and having BM online criminals prosecuted, expect to see more Ikes pretending to be Ikettes!
So, ladies, if somebody is doing something inappropriate, document that inappropriate activitiy whether or not the commenter name is male or female. The odds are that it's probably a DBRBM hiding under a false female commenter name!
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
@ Felicia you said -
These "other folks" will continue to build cells, boxes, and cages for these predators for the conceivable future.
Because they'll be DAMNED if they let what's happened to the "bc" happen to their communities.
Since my awakening to reality of how bad things are....and I'm thinking of Jennifer Hudson's family right now as well as these countless postings at WAOD...I am VERY GRATEFUL these prisons are being built.
There's a part of me that can't believe I'm saying this given the history of abuse with law enforcement BUT it's still that "black community" white racism is the #1 Evil indoctrination. These violent criminals (who may not be guilty of what they were convicted for if they were railroaded in some way but weren't necessarily arrested for all the crimes they've committed) need to be off the streets. Too many blacks think nothing of putting themselves in danger so they don't care about anyone else.
The CA Gov is going to have this latest budget fought over in court since he's axed or whittled down to zero vital services like HIV treatment, health care for poor kids and domestic violence programs. I don't know how he can live with himself. SMH. Oh and they're letting out some of those criminals EARLY.
Faith,
You said, "Since my awakening to reality of how bad things are....and I'm thinking of Jennifer Hudson's family right now as well as these countless postings at WAOD...I am VERY GRATEFUL these prisons are being built.
There's a part of me that can't believe I'm saying this given the history of abuse with law enforcement..."
As the Bible notes, part of the maturation process is to put away childish things. Part of AAs' problem is that we've never functioned like free, adult people. We've never had to assume any responsibility for public safety. So, we've never had an emotional stake in public safety issues. This deficiency is currently biting us in the buttocks (the massacre of Jennifer Hudson family, etc.).
It's time for AAs to grow up and put away childish beliefs.
A lot of court systems were ALREADY doing dangerous things due to overcrowding at jails, etc. It's just that the general public didn't know about it until these things became publicized in the context of budget battles.
For one example, my jurisdiction has a practice of what are informally called "sheriff's I-bonds." The local sheriff's office is in charge of the jail where people awaiting trial, and people sentenced to less than one year are housed.
A "sheriff's I-bond" means that the sheriff's office decides to let certain persons awaiting trial go on their own recognizance (WITHOUT having to post any money) due to overcrowding at the jails. I've seen situations were individuals charged with ARSON were let out WITHOUT HAVING TO PUT UP ANY MONEY while awaiting trial due to overcrowding.
Here's a news story from a local paper (from last year) about this practice (with emphasis added):
"Cook Co. sheriff accuses judges of 'strike'
By Rob Olmstead | Daily Herald StaffContact writer Cook Co. Sheriff Tom Dart
The power struggle between Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart and Cook County Chief Judge Timothy Evans got a whole lot uglier Thursday."
Part 2 (continuing the news story)
"Dart filed an emergency motion for relief in federal court, insinuating Evans' judges went on an eight-day recognizance bond strike, refusing to release even the most petty of nonviolent prisoners on no-cash bonds known as "I-bonds.
From Aug. 18 to Aug. 25, no judge at the main courthouse at 26th and California issued a single I-bonds, the filing charges. In one case, a 20-year-old man with no criminal history was ordered held on bond for a misdemeanor marijuana possession, a case normally a slam-dunk for an I-bond.
The development is just the latest volley in the battle of wills between Dart and Evans, who disagree over who should have the responsibility for making the politically touchy decision on which inmates should be released from jail on electronic monitoring. The responsibility has the potential to end a politician or judge's career should a released inmate go on to commit a serious crime while on electronic monitoring.
Currently, judges issue I-bonds for certain crimes, and then the sheriff is tasked with sorting through those still held on low cash bonds for nonviolent candidates who can be released on electronic monitoring. Dart argues that judges, who get a fuller picture of an offender's propensity for violence, should have the sole responsibility for who gets out.
Both are under pressure to release nonviolent offenders because of a federal consent decree mandating a reduction in jail overcrowding.
Evans has charged in a recent published interview that just as overcrowding was on the wane at the jail, Dart began reducing the number of prisoners he released on electronic monitoring. Now Dart charges that Evans, or his surrogates, responded in kind.
"As a result of the Circuit Court's abandonment of its policy issuing recognizance bonds, the Cook County jail will once again become overcrowded," wrote Daniel Gallagher, an attorney for Dart.
The emergency motion asks U.S. District Court Judge Virginia Kendall to appoint a monitor who can make the call on electronic monitoring, rather than the sheriff. Attorneys for Dart will appear before Kendall this morning at 11:30 a.m.
Cook County Sheriff's spokesman Steve Patterson declined to comment on the matter. Judge Evans could not be reached for comment."
COMMENT: Notice that these officials are talking about crowding in the jail, and NOT public safety. Also note that, in order to cover their own behinds, some of the judges apparently prefer having the sheriff's office decide an arrested person's bond! [So that the sheriff's office gets the blame if one of these individuals awaiting trial goes on to kill somebody while they're running around out on their own recognizance.]
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
I find it fascinating how mute the response was from the "BC" concerning the DBR BM that killed Jennifer Hudson's family.
It would have been the perfect opportunity to "look in the mirror" and see who the real enemy is. Unfortunately, it is always too easy to use the same ole "boogey man".
There is no denying that profiling happens but on the other hand the percentage of DBR men out there in the black community is at epic levels. How many sane women/girls would walk alone at night in 100% black "endangered" neighborhoods these days?
Poor used to mean with dignity, now too often it is synonymous with depraved behaviour. Based on what is happening with early release or not even being sent to prison, the situation will continue to escalate.
Make no mistake there are many DBRs in the majority population, but based on percentage of the population, we could never afford it to the extreme that it has now reached.
Too many have forgotten the old adage "lay down with dogs, you will end up with fleas". That's what I think of many of these "minor" first offenders. It normally only goes down hill from there
When it became cool to "dumb-down", and I saw this starting in the 80's, the beginning of the end had begun. We are in the final days unless some major miracle happens for the BC - which I do not believe will happen.
All this is further proof, that one has to be vigilant when it comes to personal safety (online and off)
Karen,
You said, "I find it fascinating how mute the response was from the "BC" concerning the DBR BM that killed Jennifer Hudson's family."
I've also been fascinated by that silence. I generally use the group conversations in the hair salon as my baseline of "typical" AA opinion. Right after the massacre, the women in the salon were more or less divided 50/50. About half of the women in the salon (clients and operators) were repeating the tired, obsolete "party lines" about how "people (including convicts) can change; maybe the ex-con was set up; maybe J. Hudson's relatives were selling drugs and killed because of that," yadda, yadda, yadda.
Incidentally, I really HATE that last "party line" of automatically characterizing any Black person murdered by a BM as a likely drug dealer, all in service of excusing their murder and supporting their BM murderer. So, if you're murdered by a BM, you must have "deserved" it in some way.
The other half of the women in the salon REFUSED to hear any of that noise, and were loudly talking about how "jailbirds" need to be shunned, and how J. Hudson should have tried to force her mother to move out of that slum.
What was interesting was that this division of opinion in the salon didn't correlate to age, educational levels, or apparent class levels. There were all sorts of women and teenage girls in each opinion category. It really came down to those WITH common sense and those WITHOUT common sense.
The tide of opinion among AA women is slowly shifting.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Khadija,
Hopefully the tide will begin to shift to more of the 80/20 rule, where 80% of us start to reawake our most valuable resource - common sense.
It has always disgusted me how we as black people can always find a way to justify aggression from us (DBR males and females) against us (typically women and children).
Are we not human and deserving to be treated with dignity? Why is not okay to have outrage at the injustices perpetuated against us by those within the BC?
I have always bristled when men or women try to refer to me as their "sister or brother". If you are not biologically related to me, then you are not my sister or brother.
Even those biologically related are not give a "feel free to use me/walk over me card", so why would I be open to such foolishness from strangers/aquaintances...
Thankfully, I was born with a heathly dose of common sense and a very strong ability to detect b.s.
The 50% in your salon leaves me hopeful...Because back in the day when I went to the beauty parlor, almost 95% talked the same kind of "junk"...
Let me come again by saying that nope 50% doesn't cut the muster...However, I do notice an increasing number of my contemporaries who've had enough...
"The other half of the women in the salon REFUSED to hear any of that noise, and were loudly talking about how "jailbirds" need to be shunned, and how J. Hudson should have tried to force her mother to move out of that slum."
Karen,
You said, "Hopefully the tide will begin to shift to more of the 80/20 rule, where 80% of us start to reawake our most valuable resource - common sense."
Well, it's either use common sense or perish at this point.
__________________________
CW,
You said, "Let me come again by saying that nope 50% doesn't cut the muster...However, I do notice an increasing number of my contemporaries who've had enough..."
Yep, the shift is happening. On those rare occassions when I tune in to the local Black-owned talk radio station, I can hear the shift. Compared to 20 years ago, callers aren't so quick to blindly champion some of our previous sacred cows such as welfare recipients, people with Section 8 moving into Black working class/middle class neighborhoods, etc.
Years' worth of experiences of being victimized by the Black underclass has taken the sweetness out of championing underclass interests for many of the rest of us. The tide is slowly turning. It's not happening quickly enough to be able to salvage the AA collective. But, more people are waking up and smelling the coffee.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Years' worth of experiences of being victimized by the Black underclass has taken the sweetness out of championing underclass interests for many of the rest of us. The tide is slowly turning.... But, more people are waking up and smelling the coffee.
Yes! Khadija, the DBRs are CONVINCING AA women much much better than any of us ever could that AA girls and women must divest and flee the shambles of the bc. When the various types of DBRs and segments of the ABCs show their behavior to AA women online and offline, that behavior in itself is PROOF POSITIVE or everything we say and more. The DBRs have in essence become the best ***ALLIES*** we could ever hope for in this fight to get bw out of these hellholes. Maybe we should send the DBRs a "thank you" card. LOL!! It really is a wonderful day.
However--to everyone reading this who genuinely care about AA women, PLEASE stop focusing more than a minute on the negatives because AA women have lots of assets. They must be constantly REMINDED of that as Khadija has also advised in a post a last week or so. That is SO important!!! Let's focus lots more attention on those assets and use them ONLY with those who reciprocate. Many among other groups are drawn to the surviving and thriving spirit of the vast bulk of AA women. That strongly appeals to lots of folks in other groups. Showing with your actions that you are positive, a survivor and thriver = Life. Whining, pleading, and focusing excessively on negatives = Death.
AA women cannot save 'alla our people' and this must be repeated often to plenty of them because so many of them have been ***programmed*** to think they can and this is THEIR job. This is one of those fantasy notions that AAs have stuck into AA females only. This is very obvious these days. AA women must always question WHY this was stuck into the females ONLY. Who does this notion benefit the most? Why is there such a relentless struggle in the bc to keep this notion firmly planted and nourished in the AA female? And we know all the ways this is done by AA males and other bm-identified AA females, while there is virtually no effort to implant or cultivate this notion in AA males by these same folks. Why is there still such a deafening silence among the vast majority of AA males re AA males dating and mating with non-AA women, yet there is such a strong outcry among AAs re AA females mating and marrying non-AA males? People in other groups definitely ask me about that.
You must keep that latter question on the front burner and don't allow anyone to deflect or push it aside. Actually those questions are all the same because there is still a concerted effort among a large proportion of AAs to keep AA women patient and WAITING, while urging them to continue to do all of the heavy lifting and blaming them when they don't or if and when they fail or collapse from trying.
Part 2
Just continue to tell, encourage, and support every AA girl/woman who is oriented towards surviving and thriving to just continue to develop themselves a little each day in all ways: get more education (formal and informal), question and analyze EVERYTHING they think they know (because most of it is anti-bw), learn another language, become proficient with a musical instrument, absorb themselves in a sport or hobby they enjoy, focus a LOT on fitness and health. What is supremely important is for each bw who is surviving and thriving oriented to try to pinpoint as many other surviving and thriving oriented AA girls & women and urge them in small and large ways to move out into the global village to explore and TRAVEL to new places to pursue love, marriage, and an abundant life. You don't have to become friends with them; you don't even have to like them, but just support them as much as you can without harming yourself.
The bottom line is that AA women must stop focusing more than a bit on dysfunction because that in itself weighs down their spirit and makes them less appealing to quality males of other racial and ethnic groups. They must force themselves, if necessary, to be positive, playful, lighthearted (as many other women are) and cultivate a spirit of gratefulness as they move firmly and with focus towards the life they deserve.
Evia,
You said, "The bottom line is that AA women must stop focusing more than a bit on dysfunction because that in itself weighs down their spirit and makes them less appealing to quality males of other racial and ethnic groups. They must force themselves, if necessary, to be positive, playful, lighthearted (as many other women are) and cultivate a spirit of gratefulness as they move firmly and with focus towards the life they deserve."
I 100% co-sign. It's interesting that you mentioned this. The other day, I was scrutinizing the Technorati statistics for my blog post tags. I was specifically looking to see what topics my posts were weighted toward. I have my own subjective impression of that, but I've been looking for objective metrics to analyze the blog's content.
Anyhoo, I was pleased to see that my subjective assessment was more or less correct: The blog tags with the largest number of posts were the posts tagged "Wildest Dreams." The single topic with the largest number of blog posts have been about AA women turning their Wildest Dreams into reality.
The topic with the next largest number of blog posts are those tagged "Save Your Own Life." Regarding this topic, the focus has usually been on leaving physically dangerous Black residential areas; leaving dead-end, soul-draining "helping professions;" fitness; and developing other income streams.
You said, "AA women have lots of assets. They must be constantly REMINDED of that as Khadija has also advised in a post a last week or so. That is SO important!!! Let's focus lots more attention on those assets and use them ONLY with those who reciprocate. Many among other groups are drawn to the surviving and thriving spirit of the vast bulk of AA women. That strongly appeals to lots of folks in other groups. Showing with your actions that you are positive, a survivor and thriver = Life. Whining, pleading, and focusing excessively on negatives = Death."
Again, I 100% co-sign. I can see that it's hard to break this "Woe is us" knee-jerk response/programming.
That's why I'm hoping (with the Al-Walaa Wal Baraa conversations, which I'm about to resume) to encourage folks to figure out their core values/interests (what's REALLY important to them), and focus on advancing those values/interests. We're so easily distracted and taken off course with other stuff.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
GREAT advice and suggestions Evia!
Yes, we all must do what we can just as long as we're not jeopardizing our health and safety.
Teaching by example by continuing to live and love well ourselves - and not hiding our joy and contentment - is also one of the best ways to spread the living well message to younger generations of black girls and black women.
Evia Evia Evia!
Your replies part 1 and 2 on these cOMMENTS ARE SOME OF THE BEST i HAVE READ IN A WHILE!
Please step out of that farm you and your husband have and stop making art for a while so that you can become a nationally syndicated talk show host! PLEASE!
If not you then Khadija or Rev. Lisa needs to do this. All there is out there is Oprah, Tyra, and Wendy Williams (oh my!), although I've never disliked Oprah myself.
Khadijah et al., Thanks for this appropriate and timely post. The responses have also been excellent!
I don't know why any bm would want to attend public events clearly meant for bw other than to cause trouble, dissention (along with iikettes)or death. These events are not for debate about bm/bw issues, they are to encourage sisters to expand their horizons. It is as simple as that. Case closed.
"The other half of the women in the salon REFUSED to hear any of that noise, and were loudly talking about how "jailbirds" need to be shunned, and how J. Hudson should have tried to force her mother to move out of that slum."
You can take the person/woman/man/boy out of the hood..... but with JHud's sister's mentality and link to that dbr, her family would have been massacred in any neighborhood because the perp would have been allowed access unfortunately. I can't be sure, but they don't appear to have been cultured and skilled in the art of separating themselves from the ghetto -- mentally and physically. We may never know the truth behind that one, but we do know that this man showed all the signs of a killer (look where she (Julia) found him for goodness sakes. They gave him a pass and didn't take him seriously, thus the carnage. I hope we never see a repeat of that, but sadly I think we will untill sisters everywhere wake up and quit raising, housing and excusing the dbrbms. (and dbrbws).
Lorraine,
You said, "I don't know why any bm would want to attend public events clearly meant for bw other than to cause trouble, dissention (along with iikettes)or death. These events are not for debate about bm/bw issues, they are to encourage sisters to expand their horizons. It is as simple as that. Case closed."
Yep.
You said, "You can take the person/woman/man/boy out of the hood..... but with JHud's sister's mentality and link to that dbr, her family would have been massacred in any neighborhood because the perp would have been allowed access unfortunately."
Maybe. Maybe not. It would depend on whether the rest of the family had sense to cut off contact with J.Hudson's sister along with cutting off the perp.
For example, if J.Hudson's mother had moved into a building with a doorman, VERY FEW doormen would let a creature who looked like the sister's husband through. [Think Snoop-Dog level of creepy appearance.] No matter if he was accompanied by a normal-looking woman.
But unfortunately, what I recall of the news stories is that the family continued to embrace this goofy sister PLUS the jailbird. Even going so far as the jailbird being allowed to live in the mother's home after he was paroled out of prison or some such madness. {sigh}
From the inside threat(s) [J.Hudson's sister's jailbird husband] to the outside threat(s) [remaining in that neighborhood], the situation was something bad waiting to happen.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
"Wilson/Susan"(actually "Tyrone"):
It tickles me to know that I'm making you jump through extra hoops to visit this public blog.
{deeply amused chuckles}
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