Wednesday, June 29, 2016

I Care; And I've Prayed In Support Of You

Introduction To All Posts:

Black women’s problems with Black men started in Africa LONG before the arrival of the Arab man and the White man. 

Black men have been betraying Black women since BEFORE the White man ever came to Africa. If you haven’t already done so, please read the following 2 posts:

And now on to today’s post:

I've seen her make references to being a rape survivor before. And I've been praying for her restoration and peace of mind ever since I saw those references. I've kept my prayers for her to myself up to this point. But after seeing this post and discussion today, I felt compelled to say something publicly.
Idk what possessed black women to do this... But no one cares about your problems or issues. No one. Get over it.
Show up with money or something of VALUE and people will care. Not one woman cares that I had been raped and am right now, working through rape trauma. All they care about is whether or not I kiss their ass about their foolishness and neediness. When I snap on em because they did something triggering? I am out of pocket, rude or threatening them. Or I am unprofessional.
None of you cares about me or my problems. Why should I care about yours? Why should anyone care? No one cares. Even your therapist gets PAID to care. The "free" people aren't folks who care. They are often vampires. Invest in yourself!

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Deva Fiyah Ty sisters. Truly, it often feels like no one cares. Because... Well they don't. Lol not in ways that matter to me or help me. I care in ways that matter to y'all and help you. That is my point. Self investment. I don't expect y'all to freely care about me. 

Some sisters care because they need me healed so they can get their healing too. And that's fine.

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Deva Fiyah, I care. I care and I don't know you. I'm not looking for anything from you. I don't have to know you and I don't have to want something from you to care about the trauma that you've survived. I care and I'm praying for your restoration because it's the right thing to do. The decent human thing to do. 

I don't understand these . . . demons in human form that feel nothing when presented with that kind of personal disclosure. All I know is that, unfortunately, the Black collective is teeming with such creatures. Not just the legions of Black males who are actively and violently evil. But ALSO the sick and evil Black women who take a perverted pleasure in other Black women's difficulties. I'll disclose a couple of personal tales that showed me just how sick and twisted more than a few women are when it comes to how they treat other women.

Tale #1 - The BW Who Were DELIGHTED To Hear Of My Broken Engagement During Law School. When I was in law school, there came a time when I gave back my engagement ring and broke up with my then-fiance. I discovered to my horror that there were plenty of colored women and girl acquaintances who were tickled pink to learn that I had broken off my engagement. But the very worst offender was a fully grown, middle-aged heifer working as a court reporter in the courtroom where I was law clerking. She could barely keep a smile off her face as she hurried to ask me why I wasn't wearing my engagement ring that day.

When I was that age (24-25) I wasn't really a jewelry person, so I hadn't been wearing the ring or any of my other jewelry every day anyway (before the break-up). And I had never discussed any of my personal business with any of the people at work. So they didn't have any definitive information about what was going on one way or the other. Out of disgust, I “played the nut role” and answered her question with another question. 

I wore a blank, confused expression on my face while I asked her, “Oh, why do you ask?” She didn't know what to make of that reaction (she couldn't get a rise out of me one way or the other), so she tried to play it all off. “Well, I was just wondering . . . (as her voice trailed off). “What were you wondering?” I said with a smile. “Oh, nothing . . .”

Like everybody else, I had seen girls engage in vicious behavior in high school. But this incident was my first heavy-duty lesson that even fully grown and old women persist in that high-school type of hateful behavior.

Tale #2 - The Client Who Left A Voice Mail Saying She “Needed” Me To Call Her While I Was On Bereavement Leave Burying My Mother. This incident happened years ago when I was still working at the firm. One of my partners appeared on my behalf for this client on a minor court date while I was off on bereavement leave. So I know for a fact that this broad HEARD the judge say that I was not there that day because my mother had passed. Which, as the judge explained to her, was why she was continuing the case to a day when I would be back at work.

While I was in the midst of making arrangements for my mother's funeral service, I got the sudden urge to call my work voice mail (which I generally would never do when I was off from work). This is what I heard: “I know that at a time like this, my case is the last thing you want to talk about. But I really need you to call me today.. . . [blah, blah, blah, whining about her self-created problems]”

At first I was stunned for a few moments (at how profoundly self-absorbed a creature has to be to leave a message like that). And then I started laughing a deep belly laugh that helped release much of the tension that I had been holding in while talking to the various service providers (funeral home; the minister at Mom's church; musician at that church; printer; etc.). My family looked at me like I was crazy.

And then I understood why God had given me the nudge to check my voice mail that day. Every time I thought about the madness of that utterly ridiculous voice mail message, it brought a smile to my face. Mentally debating the pros and cons of cursing out that client when I got back to work at the firm also helped relieve a bit of the stress during the very difficult days immediately after my mother passed.* 

[*I'm not a cheek-turner. Having the religiously valid option to retaliate if I choose to do so has always been important to me. Letting people skate with evil and injustice only encourages them to persist in their acts of evil and injustice. It's a large part of why I privately quit “Club Christianity” as a teenager.]

So, in light of the above, I wasn't surprised to read about the disgusting behavior referenced by several posts by Mrs. Dee Dee Lefrak, host of Black Women With Other Brothers, including this one:
MUST READ and another shout out for Black Women With Other Brothers by the one and only ‪#‎MuslimBushido‬ aka Sojourner's Passport, which I highly recommend you purchase (scroll down and find the thread with a photo of me reading her book which you ought to purchase on Amazon here's the direct link:…/…/ref=sr_1_sc_1… ).
I have a soft sport for her, besides the fact she's a one of the original BWE's she paid respect to the loss of my husband Mr.Lefrak last summer, I'll *always* remember that, as other lame & jealous heffas were mocking my loss (death happens to us all, so when your overly-burdened single Mother passes or your coddled spoiled sons may die, you'll see how it feels to grieve!).
Now that's some sick and evil mess that Dee Dee's describing. Knowing how many haters there are among colored women, I had a hunch that such things might be happening; which is why I've kept Dee Dee in my prayers after I learned of her loss. It's the right thing to do.

Dee Dee, I care. I care and I don't know you. I'm not looking for anything from you. I don't have to know you and I don't have to want something from you to care about the loss that you've experienced. I care and I'm praying for your comfort and peace of mind because it's the right thing to do. The decent human thing to do. 

Like I said, I'm not a cheek-turner. I'm infuriated by the kind of behaviors that Deva Fiyah and Dee Dee are describing. The kind of fury that almost (LOL!) makes me want to dip into witchcraft just long enough to try to put a hex on those hateful, vicious hags they've described. As things are, I simply pray for those kind of hags to get what they give to other women. Whatever that might be. Which I believe is a just and balanced request.

It took me about 2.5 years to reach a point of calm inner equilibrium about my mother's passing. I will always deeply miss her; and feel saddened about her transition from presence in my life to memory. But it's manageable. I'm thankful to have gotten past the point of my nerves always feeling rubbed totally raw about her absence. I thank God that I didn't have a coven of demons in human form openly poking at me and pressing on me while grieving her death.

As I and others have discussed, major shifts are underway. There will be lots of casualties among African-Americans (due to our mass dysfunction, lack of stable family support networks, etc.). There'll be grieving African-American survivors. Who will mostly be left to their own devices because they don't understand basic human decency. Because they're takers who never give reciprocal support. In short, because they're scum—like the vicious hags who responded inappropriately to Devah Fiyah's and Dee Dee's challenging circumstances. 

If you're different and better than those vicious hags . . . . If you're a fully human-type of person . . . then you'll take the time to show some solidarity and give Deva Fiyah and Dee Dee some support. A prayer. A kind word. Perhaps even get up off some money and compensate them for their educational products and work that you're looking to benefit from (instead of trying to feed off of their work for free).