Welcome, New Readers! Please Catch Up With The Inner Slum/Inner Sanctuary and Self-Determination Series

Over the past few days, I've noticed that there's been a lot of new readers visiting the blog (thank you, Evia!).

Welcome, New Readers! I hope you'll ultimately decide to join the think tank here by participating in the discussions at this blog. I want this blog to be one of several "safe spaces" for Black women to exchange ideas, strategies, and tips for renewing our minds, lifting our spirits, and taking our rightful place on the world stage.

I believe that lasting, positive change only comes from the inside-out. Enduring victories come from the inside-out. We've tried various surface techniques over the past 40 years. For the most part, all we've done is exchange one form of oppression for another. We have exchanged an external oppressor in favor of an internal one. We have exchanged external violence in favor of internal violence. In politics, we have exchanged White political hacks for Black ones. All the while, our collective condition has gotten worse and worse.

I want CHANGE, not exchange.

Our people are at a crossroads. We can continue along our current path which leads to African-Americans becoming a permanent underclass within this country. I believe that we've completed roughly 80% of the permanent underclass process. Or we can change our collective fate by changing our individual lives for the better. In order to change our lives, we have to renew our minds. This is why I've written a series of introspection essays (the True Fellowship series; the Inner Slum series; and the Inner Sanctuary series). I hope you'll take the time to read some of the ones that I feel are the most important:

http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2008/10/true-fellowship-part-2-breaking-bread.html

http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2008/09/inner-slum-part-1-noise-pollution.html

http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2008/09/inner-slum-part-2-micro-aggression.html

Please also take the time to read one of the most commented upon posts: "Self-Determination, Part 1: My Dark-Skinned Sisters, STOP Letting Biracial/Bicultural/Multicultural/Light-Skinned Women Wear YOUR Stolen Crown!" http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2008/12/self-determination-part-1-my-dark.html

And, last but not least, please take the time to read the most hotly-discussed introspection post so far: "The Inner Sanctuary, Part 4: Are You Ready to Feel Flawless?" from 11/10/08 (there's a badge that links to this post at the top right on this screen, directly below the masthead).

Black Women, Are You Ready to Feel Flawless?

This essay is contained in my new book, and can be read as a sample chapter at my new website. I'm delighted to announce that The Sojourner's Passport site has launched! You can visit it at http://www.sojournerspassport.com/.

Everyone, I can't thank you enough for your ongoing encouragement and support; I truly appreciate it. Your support is what made this possible. And here's a special shout-out to my web designers at Educo Web Design. They're nice people to deal with, and they do outstanding work!

Peace and blessings,
Khadija Nassif

The Inner Sanctuary, Part 3: Decide to Beat the Curve

Helplessness kills.

Learned helplessness means that people die unnecessarily. "Learned helplessness" is a well-established psychological principle offered as a model to explain depression and apathy. Basically, it's when people conclude that they are powerless, and that their life choices have no bearing on the outcomes in their lives. This leads to people choosing to submit to apathy and external circumstances.

This attitude leads to having a stunted, diminished life. It also leads to death.

In his book, Anticancer: A New Way of Life, Dr. David Servan-Schreiber describes a lab experiment on rats that demonstrates the way helplessness can influence the course of cancer:

. . . rats were grafted with the exact quantity of cancer cells known to induce a fatal tumor in 50% of them. In this experiment, the rats were divided into three groups. In the first group, the control group, the animals received the graft but were not manipulated in any other way. In the second group, the rats were given small electric shocks, which they could learn to evade by pushing on a lever in their cage. The animals in the third group were also given electric shocks but were not provided with an escape mechanism.

The results, published in Science, were very clear: One month after the graft, 63% of the rats that had received shocks but had learned to avoid some of them by pressing a lever had rejected the tumor. The rejection rate in this group was higher than in the control group (which had not undergone shocks), in which only 54% of the animals had rejected the cancerous cells. On the other hand, only 23% of those animals subjected to the electric shock with no means of escape managed to overcome their cancer. . . The lesson of this study is crucial: It isn't stress itself---the 'electric shocks' life inevitably gives---that promotes cancer development; it is the persistent perception of helplessness the individual has that affects the body's reaction to the disease." Anticancer: A New Way of Life, pgs. 136-137.

If we are honest, we must admit that there is a LOT of learned helplessness among Black people. If we are honest, we must admit that much of what passes for Black political thought encourages learned helplessness. If we are honest, we must admit that much of our "common wisdom" reflects learned helplessness.

How many times have you heard Black women say things like, "all men cheat"? Or, "ain't no use in getting upset about it"? Or, "it's never going to change"? Or, "there's nothing I can do about it"? So many Black women have openly resigned themselves to defeat. In so many ways. No matter what particular topic is the "it" that is being discussed.

Some of you in the silent audience are resisting opening your hearts and minds to new possibilities because you don't want to expend the necessary effort to change your lives. That's fine. God respects free will; and so do I.

However, some of you are resisting opening your hearts and minds to new possibilities because you don't believe that there ARE any other possibilities for your lives. I respectfully submit to you that this belief is the result of learned helplessness. Helplessness that is not required or binding, unless you submit to it. Helplessness that can be unlearned. I believe that it's worthwhile to unlearn helplessness. In addition to diminishing one's quality of life, helplessness kills. Learned helplessness kills people unnecessarily. Survival curves often reflect this reality.

In medicine, a survival curve is a statistical picture of the survival experience of some group of patients in the form of a graph. The graph shows the percentage of patients surviving over time. Medical literature often refers to survival curves. Doctors also use survival curves to estimate a patient's prognosis; by comparing the experiences of other patients in a similar situation who received similar treatments.

There is an example of a survival curve at the beginning of this post. All survival curves have the same asymmetrical shape. Half of the patients' cases are concentrated on the left-hand side of the median. The other half of the patients are on the right side. The median survival time in the above survival curve is 2 years. That means that half the patients lived less than 2 years. The other half lived more than 2 years. Notice that some of the patients on the right side survived SIGNIFICANTLY LONGER than 2 years. Some of the patients were still going strong 12 years later. This is an extremely important life lesson! Especially when thinking about your own chances for victory in life when confronted with negative statistics, negative advice, and negative examples.

In the book, Dr. Servan-Schreiber makes a very important point about these survival curves:

"[These curves] don't distinguish between people who are satisfied with passively accepting the medical verdict and those who mobilize their own natural defenses. In the same 'median' are found those who go on smoking, who continue to expose themselves to other carcinogenic substances. . . who continue to sabotage their immune defenses with too much stress and poor management of their emotions, or who abandon their bodies by depriving them of physical activity. And within this 'median' are those who LIVE MUCH LONGER. This is most likely because, along with the benefits of the conventional treatments they receive, they have somehow galvanized their natural defenses." Anticancer: A New Way of Life, pg. 15 (emphasis added).

In other words, the people who live much longer tend to be those who decide to actively resist having the "average" and "median" outcome. People who decide to do whatever they can to BEAT THE CURVE.

Have you decided to beat the curve? Whatever the "curve" happens to be?

When you hear negative statistics (for example, such as 70% of Black women being unmarried), do you resign yourself to being among the "average" or the "median"? Have you learned to be helpless in the face of negative statistics? And negative advice? And negative examples?

Or do you decide that there's NO good reason why YOU can't be on the victorious side of the curve, too?

Are you willing to find out what the people on the winning side of the curve have in common?

Are you willing to find out what the people on the winning side of the curve did?

Wishful thinking will NOT enable you to beat the curve. You're going to have to work at it. Are you willing to work to beat the curve?

The Inner Sanctuary, Part 2: Life Instead of Death

During the Inner Slum/Inner Sanctuary series we've talked about inner, mental slums filled with dirt, noise, and chaos. We've also talked about the polar opposite of the inner slum: the inner sanctuary. We've described many of the qualities of an inner sanctuary. We've noted that an inner sanctuary is a place of peace, renewal, and excellence. It has calm instead of chaos. Renewal instead of stagnation. Excellence instead of mental squalor.

But we haven't yet discussed the most important aspect of an inner sanctuary:

An inner sanctuary is a place that literally promotes LIFE instead of DEATH.

I've been reading a fascinating book entitled Anticancer: A New Way of Life by Dr. David Servan-Schreiber. Dr. Servan-Schreiber is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine and cofounder of the Center for Integrative Medicine. He is also a survivor of brain cancer. I've read several books and articles that discuss the mind-body connection. There is a consensus that emotional states can affect physiological processes such as the immune system (the body's defense against infection and disease). These physiological processes then affect one's health. A factsheet prepared by the U.S. National Institutes of Health/National Cancer Institute states that:

"The body responds to stress by releasing stress hormones, such as epinephrine (also called adrenaline) and cortisol (also called hydrocortisone). The body produces these stress hormones to help a person react to a situation with more speed and strength. Stress hormones increase blood pressure, heart rate, and blood sugar levels. Small amounts of stress are believed to be beneficial, but chronic (persisting or progressing over a long period of time) high levels of stress are thought to be harmful." Psychological Stress and Cancer: Questions and Answers, pg. 1. http://cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/stress

How many of us are living with chronic, prolonged stress? Are you living with chronic, prolonged stress? If so, for how long?

If so, how much longer are you willing to live like this? For the rest of your life?

Are you willing to learn to think differently to reduce the amount of stress in your life? Are you willing to learn to act differently to reduce the amount of stress in your life? Are you willing to learn to live differently to reduce the amount of stress in your life?

The factsheet goes on to note that, "Stress that is chronic can increase the risk of obesity, heart disease, depression, and various other illnesses." In the context of cancer, Dr. Servan-Schreiber states that:

"It usually takes anywhere from five to forty years for the 'seed' of cancer in the form of a cellular anomaly to become a detectable cancerous tumor. This seed is born in a healthy cell due to abnormal genes, or much more commonly, exposure to radiation, environmental toxins, or other carcinogens . . . No psychological factor by itself has ever been identified as being capable of creating that cancer seed. However, certain reactions to psychological stress can profoundly influence the soil in which the seed develops. . . These situations don't spark cancer, but, as an article published in Nature Reviews Cancer in 2006 observes, we know today that they can give it an opportunity to grow faster. . . . The factors contributing to cancer are so numerous and varied that no one should ever blame themselves or feel guilty for developing this disease." Anticancer: A New Way of Life, pg. 132.

I'm really happy that Dr. Servan-Schreiber emphasized that last part about not blaming ourselves for illnesses. I think that's an extremely important point. We can learn how to live differently, and learn how to treat ourselves better without blaming ourselves.

About 6 years ago, I decided to learn how to live differently, and treat myself better. I was having chest pains. I went in for a series of cardiac stress tests. Including the one where they inject a nuclear isotope into you so that it can travel around inside your body, and scan the inside of your heart. Praise God, it turned out that stress is all it was. I spent some time going to work with nitroglycerin pills dangling from a medical necklace. My doctor insisted that I keep them with me like that, "just in case." Just in case I had any further sudden chest pains while waiting to take my scheduled tests. I barely resisted the urge to sarcastically ask her if I should look into getting my own cardiac defibrillator.

My cousin was dying of cancer. Many of my relatives were displaying the same sort of inappropriate behavior surrounding her illness that they did with my aunt. [I described this during Part 1 of True Fellowship.] There were some spectacularly unpleasant things going on at work. That was a point in my life when I realized that I needed to make some changes. No, I haven't achieved a Dalai Lama state of mental chill. But, I've made some changes and have gotten better at handling certain types of things.

Are you willing to make some changes?

The Inner Sanctuary, Part 1: The Discipline of Good Beginnings

During the Inner Slum series, we've discussed some of the destructive habits that pollute our inner environments and our character. We've talked about the noise pollution that makes the renewing of one's mind impossible. We've talked about the micro-aggressions that many of us routinely engage in.

Now, let's turn our attention to the polar opposite of the inner slum: the inner sanctuary. The inner sanctuary is a place of peace, renewal, and excellence. The inner sanctuary has calm instead of chaos. Renewal instead of stagnation. Excellence instead of mental squalor. Inner sanctuaries don't appear by random accident. They are built, brick by brick. Habit by habit.

Discipline is the foundation of any inner sanctuary.

As a people, African-Americans run from discipline. We run from discipline in almost every conceivable area of life. We exalt musical products (such as hip-hop) that don't require the training and discipline of mastering an instrument. We exalt written products (such as "street literature") that don't require the training and discipline of mastering grammar and being well read. This mindset carries over into our spiritual life. We often denounce spiritual disciplines as "empty rituals." We exalt chaos and call it "spontaneity." There IS much that is worthy in ecstatic, spontaneous worship. However, I question the wisdom of completely removing discipline and order from our spiritual lives. Discipline is NOT a natural state. It has to be cultivated. People generally incline toward laziness and mental clutter.

Discipline is the foundation of any inner sanctuary.
The discipline to examine our habits.
The discipline to abandon habits that are unworthy of who we want to be.
The discipline to cultivate the habits that are the building blocks of an inner sanctuary.

The first building block is the discipline of good beginnings. The discipline to take care that we begin things in the best possible way. For example, how do you routinely begin your day? What is your typical first thought upon waking up? What is the first thing you usually say? What are the first things you usually listen to? Are you willing to step back and examine your habits for beginning your days?

Are you careless with how you begin your days? Or do you make the effort to train yourself to begin in the best possible way?

There are many Black people who start their mornings by listening to music with curse words. There are many Black people who start their mornings by taking in the madness and mayhem of the morning news.

There are other Black people who start their mornings the best way they can. They discipline themselves to begin their days in the way that is best for them: For example, by praising God; or practicing a moment of thankfulness; or practicing a moment of silence; or taking a moment to review their goals for day.

How do you begin your days?

The Inner Slum, Part 2: Micro-Aggression

Macro-aggressions are obvious, belligerent, hateful behaviors that are easily identified by all involved as hostile. Macro-aggressions tend to be infrequent. The risk is usually too great for most people to routinely engage in macro-aggression. Instead, they engage in micro-aggression. Micro-aggressions are more subtle forms of belligerent, hateful behavior. Because they are more subtle, micro-aggressions are harder to pinpoint and confront. In fact, they are usually invisible. Their invisibility means that most people only notice their cumulative effects: weariness, tension, and stress.

Physical slums are filled with non-stop acts of micro-aggression. In Part 1 of this series, I mentioned the traffic disruptions caused by drivers stopping in the middle of traffic to throw gang signs at pedestrians. This is micro-aggression because (on the surface) the purpose of the behavior is to throw the gang signs, not necessarily to hinder other drivers. Micro-aggressions are usually passed off as examples of people being inconsiderate of others. However, there's really much more to it than that. Micro-aggression is really about free-floating hate and rage. It's a lack of consideration coupled with a "Screw you" undercurrent.

Physical slums are filled with non-stop acts of micro-aggression.

Most Black residential areas (no matter the income level) are filled with pervasive acts of micro-aggression.

Most African-Americans (no matter the income or educational level) have inner slums filled with micro-aggression. Micro-aggression is a slum value that the vast majority of us carry around with us, no matter where we go in life.

I know that many people will reject this assertion. After all, this sort of behavior is not congruent with our self-image. Surely, most of us must be light years beyond the fool in the thugmobile who's throwing gang signs. I beg to differ. Here's why:

Aristotle said, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." If excellence is a habit, then what about squalor? We are what we repeatedly do. Our habits show who we really are. What do your everyday habits say about you? Are you willing to examine what your everyday habits say about you? Here are some common situations to consider:

ON THE STREET
1. Are you a driver who stops in the middle of the street to hold conversations out of the driver's side window? Or do you pull over?

2. When you go to somebody's home to pick them up, do you pull over to the side of the street? Or do you block traffic behind you while waiting for that person to come out?

3. As a pedestrian, do you slow your walking pace while crossing the street?

IN A PARKING GARAGE/LOT
1. When you see that someone has pulled over to wait for the parking space that you're about to leave, do you delay leaving the spot?

2. When you're looking for a spot in a parking garage, do you block all the drivers behind you by trailing after pedestrians who might (or might not) be walking to their car? Or do you keep driving until you get to a level that has empty spaces?

AT/IN THE ELEVATOR
1. When you see people walking toward the elevator you're on, do you hold it open for them? Or do you passively watch the elevator doors close in their faces?

2. When you're waiting for an elevator, do you jump on the first one that arrives without checking the arrows to see which direction it's headed; and then once inside press a button to take it in the opposite direction?

3. In the morning, do you get on the elevator while juggling an open paper cup of coffee, so you can sip the coffee while riding? Are you frequently willing to take the risk of this open coffee spilling on the other passengers?

I could go on, but you get the idea. Are you willing to take a step back and consider what your daily habits say about you? If you don't like what you see, are you willing to make some changes?

The Inner Slum, Part 1: Noise Pollution

Dirt. Noise. Chaos. These are the first three things you notice whenever you enter a slum neighborhood.

The dirt. Rundown buildings. Garbage overflowing in the streets. Broken glass on the ground. People throwing garbage down onto the ground around their feet.

The noise. How very loud everything is. The shouted conversations held with people who are standing two feet away from the speaker. Shouting and yelling for people down the street. Shouting and yelling for people across the street. Loud cell phone conversations. The ever-present loud music. Music so loud that you can feel the drumbeat vibrating in your bones.

The chaos. Unattended small children darting in and out of the street. Clusters of idle, grown men standing on street corners. Clusters of idle, grown men standing around discarded sofas and chairs in the middle of vacant lots. Entire families sitting on their front stoops during what should be normal work and school hours. Swarms of teenagers yelling and cursing while waiting at bus stops. Traffic disruptions because a driver is making frequent stops in the middle of the street to throw gang signs at pedestrians.

These are the signs of an outer slum.

Inner slums have similar signs. Inner slums consisting of dirt, noise, and chaos exist within people's hearts and minds. Without frequent cleaning and renovations, your inner environment will quickly turn into an inner slum. A slum that you carry around with you.

When you don't refresh and renew your mind you will find that no matter where you go in life, The World is a Ghetto.

The prevalence of inner slums is one of the reasons why Black folks are in such a sorry state. Yes, there are external problems and opponents. However, these external obstacles are so successful in slowing our roll because of our internal weaknesses. We generally refuse to address inner weaknesses. We fear introspection. We fear silence.

Even those people who actually want to renew their minds face hidden problems with their efforts. One such problem is that it's impossible to renew your mind in the midst of noise pollution. Noise pollution is a slum value. When I say "slum value," I'm not referring to income levels. I've seen many Black professionals who live slum lifestyles with slum values. I've seen many poor Black folks who do not live with slum values. Noise pollution is so prevalent that most of us perceive it as normal. This is what makes it a hidden problem. We can't hear how noisy our living spaces are. Silence has become an aberration for most Black people. What we fail to realize is that silence is part of the internal cleansing and renewal process. Periods of silence take you out of your daily routine. Silence forces you to take a fresh look at yourself and your surroundings. I believe that this is why most Black people are deeply afraid of silence.

Noise pollution is a slum value whose origin is often found in another slum value: Using the television as a babysitter. Many people in my age group (40s) were among the first generation of Black children who were raised by being propped in front of the tv for hours at a time. Many of us have raised our own children in the same fashion. And so the cycle repeats, and becomes accepted as normal.

As a result, there are now several generations of Black people who live with the television on 24 hours a day, every single day. The tv is never turned off while people are inside the home. People will often have the tv and loud music playing simultaneously. In many modern Black households, conversations are shouted over the din of the tv and music. Meals are eaten around the tv.

We often say that Black people need to turn off the tv and read. This is true. What we don't realize is that many of us simply can't do this. Many of us are literally addicted to noise. I've watched small Black children immediately turn on the tv the moment they enter a room, even though they have no intention of watching it. I've watched Black adults do this as well. They've been conditioned to be ill at ease with silence. Most of us are deeply afraid of silence.

There's a difference between noise addiction and a purposeful use of noise. There is purpose in using these distractions to pass the time in an unpleasant setting (such as sitting in the auto repair shop, etc.). There is purpose in using the tv, radio, and phone to keep oneself company when alone; although it's better to seek out actual company.

There's also a difference between cleansing silence and other uses of silence. Sometimes silence is used as a barricade to keep other people out of our lives and our hearts. Sometimes silence is used as a weapon to punish the people closest to us. This is not the kind of silence that I'm suggesting you practice. I'm also not suggesting that people go "cold turkey" and abruptly turn off their tvs, computers, radios, and iPods. That's just too big a step for most people who are deeply conditioned to living in noise. I'm suggesting that we use daily moments of silence to refresh our perceptions, and thereby refresh our minds. For example, why not:

Observe one minute of silence and stillness at various points during the day. A minute of silence before beginning your work. A minute before going to bed. A minute of silence wherever you can fit it in.

Create a quiet room or space in your home (to whatever extent this is possible).

I'd like to hear about your experiences with silence. Did you enjoy the experience? Was any part of it difficult? How do you feel about silence?