White Women's "Wedding Season Of Life" Is From Ages 24-28 - If You Want A Good Married Life, You'll Get On This Schedule

In between working on my latest novel, I’ve glanced at a couple of articles that tie into something that a friend and I have been discussing lately. Here are the articles: 

Gabrielle Union Opens Up About the Difficulties of Getting Pregnant at 42 

Tyra Banks Courageously Shares About Struggling to Start a Family 

White Women’s “Wedding Season of Life” Runs From Around Age 24-28 

Leaving aside the details of these two celebrities’ personal lives, their fertility problems point out a bigger problem that has gone unnoticed among most African-American Black women (AABW). Here’s what most AABW don’t fully comprehend because we tend to have such segregated social lives: 

Middle-class, professional, reasonably attractive White women’s “wedding season of life” is from age 24-28 years old. More or less. This is the normal—and really, optimal—age range for this particular life experience in a modern, industrialized society like the U.S. For middle class White American women, this is a season of life in which they’re almost constantly serving as bridesmaids in their female friends’ and relatives’ weddings. 

What I’ve noticed is that the few AABW who do get married to AA Black males are for the most part getting married approximately a decade later than their WW peers. AABW who marry AA Black males are getting married a decade later because of African-American Black males’ anti-family values and refusal to offer marriage to Black women, including the women they impregnate and shack up with. 

Let’s remember, it’s the man who proposes and offers marriage to the woman. It’s not like there’s ever been a bunch of AABW refusing marriage proposals. NO, what’s been happening for decades is that AA negro males have been withholding the opportunity for marriage. So, please let’s not play dumb and pretend that the lack of marriage among AAs is due to AABW refusing Black males’ proposals. 

Doing Things “Out of Season” Creates Unnecessary Hardships in Life 

Doing things “out of season” creates unnecessary difficulties in life. Contrary to new school Fantasy Island ideology, there really are seasons in life. It’s best and easiest to do things during their proper season. It’s often possible to do things late, but doing things late typically increases the difficulty involved ten-fold: 

Balancing work and getting a G.E.D. is much harder than simply staying in high school and graduating at the normal age and stage of life. 

Balancing work, parenting responsibilities and college is much harder than getting your undergrad degree before [getting married and] having children. 

Similar negative dynamics apply to women who get married a decade after the optimal professional American woman age range of 24-28. Delaying marriage until one’s 30s increases the odds of fertility problems. This delay also means that both parties are coming to the marriage with a different “head space”—they’re coming to the marriage more set in their own ways after having spent an extra decade living as a single adult who didn’t have to factor anybody else into their decisions. This is not particularly conducive to the cooperation needed for successful married life. 

These older marriage ages among AABW (and the quality of life penalties created by these older marriage ages) are caused by AA negro males’ anti-family values and resistance to marriage. 

Here’s another “quality of life penalty” that a lot of AABW who restrict themselves to dating AA negro males don’t want to face: 

Older parenthood (on both the mother’s and father’s part) significantly increases the risks of birth defects, mental illness, autism spectrum disorders, etc. See the article How Older Parenthood Will Upend American Society: The scary consequences of the grayest generation. 

I won’t even get into the extreme emotional stress that fertility problems and fertility treatments put on a couple’s marriage. Even when biologically successful, older parenting increases the risk of dying before your children are ready to face the world: 

What haunts me about my children, though, is not the embarrassment they feel when their friends study my wrinkles or my husband’s salt-and-pepper temples. It’s the actuarial risk I run of dying before they’re ready to face the world. At an American Society for Reproductive Medicine meeting last year, two psychologists and a gynecologist antagonized a room full of fertility experts by making the unpopular but fairly obvious point that older parents die earlier in their children’s lives. (“We got a lot of blowback in terms of reproductive rights and all that,” the gynecologist told me.) A mother who is 35 when her child is born is more likely than not to have died by the time that child is 46. The one who is 45 may have bowed out of her child’s life when he’s 37. The odds are slightly worse for fathers: The 35-year-old new father can hope to live to see his child turn 42. The 45-year-old one has until the child is 33.

These numbers may sound humdrum, but even under the best scenarios, the death of a parent who had children late, not to mention the long period of decline that precedes it, will befall those daughters and sons when they still need their parents’ help—because, let’s face it, even grown-up children rely on their parents more than they used to. They need them for guidance at the start of their careers, and they could probably also use some extra cash for the rent or the cable bill, if their parents can swing it. “If you don’t have children till your forties, they won’t be launched until you’re in your sixties,” Suzanne Bianchi, a sociologist who studies families, pointed out to me. In today’s bad economy, young people need education, then, if they can afford it, more education, and even internships. They may not go off the parental payroll until their mid- to late-twenties. Children also need their parents not to need them just when they’ve had children of their own.

Any way you slice it, this is not a pretty picture. What’s truly bizarre is how AABW have normalized this epidemic of fewer and much later marriages (and the problems created by such). AABW normalize this mess in order to cater to the Damaged Beyond Repair masses of AABM who are anti-marriage and therefore are anti-stable family. As was discussed in the post Catering To Damaged Black Men By Deliberately “Getting It Twisted”: 

During the course of several recent conversations about the No Wedding, No Womb campaign, I’ve heard some Black women make incredibly nonsensical and convoluted arguments in support African-American women continuing to have the majority of their children out of wedlock (oow). They are opposed to any suggestion that more (heterosexual) African-American women should get their childbearing choices back in sync with time-tested human norms. Specifically, the time-tested human norm of “no wedding, no womb.” They take this position despite the unmitigated catastrophe oow has caused for the African-American collective. Basically, according to them, marriage is for every other type of human woman except Black/African-American women. . . . [ ]

Frankly, I don’t believe that many Black women are that stupid. Instead, I believe that many of them adopt these arguments because doing otherwise would mean the end of “nuthin’ but a brother” business as usual. Adhering to normal, human standards for mate selection and procreation would mean acknowledging that the vast majority of African-American males are unfit and unwilling to function as men by serving as competent protectors and providers.

Once an African-American woman acknowledges this fact, the next logical step is for her to expand her dating and marriage options to include non-Black men the global village. Doing that would require a woman to leave the (false) comfort zone of dealing with the dysfunctional collective of Black men.

Furthermore, most AAs refuse to tell the truth about the normal age range of non-AA women during their first marriages in this society. Instead, far too many AA slaves (of both genders) propose having a baby out of wedlock during one’s 20s as the solution to the AA marriage-related fertility problems created by AA negro males’ aversion to marriage and their stalling to delay marriage. That's downright crazy.

Yet More Reasons To Expand Your Dating & Marriage Pool If You Want A Healthy Marriage

In summary, if you as an AABW want to maximize your odds of a happy, fulfilling married life you need to get your life choices back in synch with middle-class White America’s seasons of life experiences. As much as possible.

The reality is that the majority of [mostly fatherless, born as bastard babies themselves] AABM aren’t willing to align their baby-making with the human norms regarding marriage. 

Which means that if you’re serious about marriage and family, you need to remove the masses of fatherless and anti-family AABM from your dating pool and date and marry out. 

Random Public Singing, Celebrating Unnecessary Struggle, & Other Mentally Ill Behaviors

Random Singing in Public = Something That Only Skid Row Winos Would Do Back In The Day 

I’ve seen some comments during recent online conversations at various BW-centric spaces that show just how widespread mental illness has become among modern day African-Americans, in particular African-American Black women (AABW). So many new school AAs are doing so many weird and bizarre public behaviors that previously you used to see only among skid row winos and bums. 

One example is the increasing phenomenon of AA women randomly singing in public. I don’t mean AABW quietly humming along to a song they remember. I’m talking about full-out, loud singing in public as they walk down the street, shop in stores, etc. Loud enough for passersby to hear you.

I hate to break it to those who don't already know this, but it’s PECULIAR and obnoxious behavior. The rest of us don’t want to hear you singing. 

Why can’t some of you see how very, VERY strange that behavior is? 

NOBODY is engaging in this random public singing behavior (with any frequency) except mentally ill AA Black women and mentally ill homeless [mostly male] bums, winos and dope fiends. 

And then more than a few of you have the nerve to be offended when the other people you’re inflicting your unwanted public singing on back away from you and/or look at you funny. You also have the gall to wonder why you’re increasingly unwelcome in various public places. 

It was disturbing to read a recent exchange by a couple of BW commenters (I’ve deleted the names):

Lol

Well well I sing sometimes in public when I get really stessed and my anxiety starts to spike to keep me from wilding out or crying, it's my own coping mechanism. But I don't get loud I didn't realize it was that immoral to sing in public

Reply · 1 · 13 hrs · Edited

 You missing the point [deleted]. No one said its immoral, but who really wants or needs to hear you sing in public? People have their own shit going on and dont need your singing interrupting their thoughts if you are singing loud enough to do so.

And you may not think you are loud, but you never know.

If you’re so stressed out and anxious that you need to sing in public, PLEASE GET SOME THERAPY! 

Of course, the Randomly Singing In Public Commenter ultimately got belligerent and defiant when other commenters (like the second comment quoted above) suggested that this behavior was inappropriate and a nuisance to others around her. Well, she’ll probably have to learn her lesson the hard way that sometimes it’s better to yield—like Sandra Bland learned the hard way. Oh, well . . . in this modern era, hard heads make dead bodies. 

Furthermore, if your first reaction—as a purportedly responsible adult—to the news story about the BW who recently were ejected from a wine train is to ask “How loud is too loud?” then you’re probably an uncouth, ghetto individual—the type of individual that sane, civilized people (of all races and ethnicities) don’t want around. Or at their events. Or in their neighborhood. Or on their job. 

I stopped having knee-jerk reactions in support of self-proclaimed aggrieved AAs because too many AAs really ARE doing various inappropriate things in public. Oh, like the Black actress who decided to have sexual relations with her boyfriend in public view and then cried racism. I’ve learned to take a breath and wait for the other shoe to drop before taking a position regarding various controversies  about random, Unknown To Me Black folks’ public behavior. 

Anyhoo, if you’re the kind of person whose first reaction is to ask “How loud is too loud?” then get used to being shut out of things because the rest of us are sick of savages who cheapen and destroy everything nice they come into contact with. 

Empathizing With A [Obviously] Deranged BM Killer Who Murdered 2 Coworkers On Camera & Shot A Totally Uninvolved Woman Being Interviewed 

Another deranged thing that I’ve recently seen are the AA discussions surrounding the deranged gay BM named Vester Flanagan who murdered two of his former coworkers on camera. As I said during part of an email conversation with a friend about this: 

“I'm listening to the local Black-owned talk radio station and they're actually SYMPATHIZING with this killer negro!!!! 

The BM (ex-con former alderman) show host, 

BM caller after BM caller, 

a BM gossip radio show performer talking about his EEOC gripes about a previous TV employer who now works for this Black station:

http://www.wvon.com/radiojockey/art-chat-daddy-sims/

are ALL talking about discrimination on the job, how the EEOC doesn't really help people facing discrimination, etc. whining about how "White people need to understand X, Y, Z"......

Not a word about the murder victims and their families. 

Not a word about the uninvolved woman who was being interviewed who was also shot by this killer negro. 

Right now there's a negro calling in who's scolding the BM host for referring to the killer as a killer. Because "all the facts aren't in" and "We don't know if the [murdered WW] TV reporter was on marijuana the way 'they' said Trayvon Martin had marijuana in his system.." {gasp}” 

In addition to this, I heard (during that show) and saw (during online conversations at AA-oriented sites) commenter after commenter begin their killer-sympathizing comments with the phrase “White people need to understand [X,Y, and Z about racism] . . .” 

White America Doesn’t Need To Understand Anything About African-Americans Since We Collectively Depend On White America For EVERYTHING 

THIS “White people need to understand [X,Y, and Z about racism] . . .” mentality is crazy. African-Americans depend on White America to supply us with everything we need: food, clothing, shelter, employment, transportation, etc. By contrast, White America does not depend on African-Americans for anything. We collectively need them; they don’t need us. 

And this is the way it will continue to be since AAs: 

Refuse to produce anything of our own; 

Refuse to cooperate with each other; and 

Refuse to support each other economically. Since the walls of segregation have gone down, African-Americans have enforced an unspoken 50 Years & Counting undeclared boycott against visibly Black-owned businesses. 

Celebrating Unnecessary Struggle While “Hating On” Excellence & Common Sense 

Just read through many of the comments to THIS Facebook post by Bougie Black Girl. A mindset of celebrating unnecessary struggle while simultaneously “hating on” and resenting common sense and excellence is a first class ticket to the African-American Permanent Underclass. 

It’s one thing to be born into a bad situation created by one’s biological parents (since most Black underclass problems have their origin in out of wedlock childbearing and single parenting). It’s one thing to do the right things, exercise common sense and have one’s plans derailed by circumstances that are truthfully out of one’s control. 

It’s something totally dysfunctional to celebrate people recovering from their SELF-created problems. While many of y’all quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) hate and resent Black folks who use common sense and do the right things. That’s sick. 

Anyhoo, I had no idea there is so much widespread untreated mental illness among modern day African-Americans. If you have these type of people in your personal social circles, I respectfully suggest that you purge them. These kind of people are liabilities. Liabilities that you can’t afford if you’re seeking abundant lifestyles. You might want to take a look at these previous posts:

The Sojourner's Path: Reject False Egalitarianism And Cultivate Your SUPERIOR Traits 

Remove Grasshoppers From Your Social Networks 

As A Quality Lady Would Think, Part 2: A Lady Does Not Rally Around Criminals And Deviants 

Joining Better Networks, Part 3: “Will Your Children Grow Up To Be Servants And Nannies?” 

Joining Better Networks, Part 1: Consistently Bring Something Of Value To The Table

The Sojourner's Path: Find And Embrace The “Market” That's Best For YOU 

The Sojourner's Path: Active Instead of Passive Living