Sunday, December 21, 2014

African-American Women: If You’re Wise, You’ll STAY NEUTRAL In the Police Vs. Black Male Conflict

Apparently, an angry BM has executed 2 New York City police officers purportedly as revenge for the police killing of Eric Garner. Here are my thoughts about all of this.
About Revenge

Unlike the mealy-mouthed, cowardly AA male misleadership class, I don’t have a problem with the concept of taking revenge in the abstract. Normal people take revenge. It’s only the AA slave who is too afraid to take revenge and has built up an entire slave religious ideology that justifies the slave’s cowardice.

I will also note that throughout human history men haven’t, don’t, and WON’T respect other males who are too cowardly to take revenge. That’s part of basic male psychology. Don’t be fooled. Don’t think that the White-male-dominated American police’s generalized attitude of contempt for AA males and the AA collective in general is solely (or even primarily) about racism.
Furthermore, the Sista Soldiers and mammy mules only increase nonblack men’s contempt for BM by manning the front lines of protests, etc. Real men handle their own business. Real men don’t hide behind women.

Mafia Men Don’t Have Problems With Police Brutality
Don’t be fooled on the other professed side of the issue. Don’t think that the WM-dominated American police’s generalized attitude of contempt for AA males and the AA collective in general is solely (or even primarily) about crime. If this was about crime, then WM Italian and Russian mafia men and Latino narco-kingpin men would also have similar problems with police brutality as AA males.

You will note that mafia men and high-ranking narco-kingpin men DON’T have any problems with police brutality. These men don’t have these problems because the police know that these other men won’t hesitate to take revenge on them and their families. With a quickness. So the American police have common sense—they don’t get out of pocket with the type of organized criminals who are sure to take revenge.
Here’s the flip side of that equation: Non-AA organized crime men are free to take revenge on any and all police who do something inappropriate to them because these men are NOT depending on the police to protect them, or their women and children.

It’s Crazy To Take Revenge When You Are Still Depending On Your Perceived Enemy To Provide You With Life-Saving Services
Like I said earlier, I’m not one of those slave-minded AAs who has bought into AA slave church theology that essentially forbids taking revenge. My issue with the notion of AA males taking revenge against racist and brutal-to-AAs American police is that we are STILL depending on these same police departments to save our lives. And depending on these police departments to protect us from other Blacks. It’s crazy to bite the hand that’s feeding you. Especially when you refuse to create a way to feed yourself.

As I said in THIS POST, White hegemony is currently feeding all African-Americans. To put it bluntly, White people feed all of us. Directly or indirectly. We need to stop “tripping” about that. Very few African-Americans have ever been serious about building the infrastructure needed in order to be a self-sufficient people. Only marginalized groups among us like the Nation of Islam went so far as to actually cultivate farm land, and create grocery stores and restaurants to feed African-Americans.
It’s especially crazy for AA women to get caught up in this Police Vs. BM Conflict. Because, in addition to BM NOT supporting or defending BW when BW are attacked by racist police:

White Male-Dominated Law Enforcement Is The Only Thing Standing Between You And Mass Rape In Black Neighborhoods
THE ABOVE-TITLE POST covered it all. If you are an AA woman, you are currently depending on WM-dominated American police to protect you and your daughters from Black men’s atrocities against BW and girls such as the following recent news story.

AA women: You better recognize.

Addendum 6 hours later. Ladies, watch to see how this story plays out in the Black media. Watch to see if (yeah, right about "if") the BW ex-girlfriend that this killer shot before killing these 2 officers totally disappears from the African-American/Black media narrative about this case. Ladies, this is NOT your fight. I strongly urge you to stay OUT of it.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

African-American Women Today Have More Opportunities Than EVER Before - If You Choose To Squander These Opportunities, That’s On YOU and YOU ALONE

Warning: This is a VERY long post that you might want to read in sections.

Weird New School Ideas
Recent online conversations about so-called “Respectability Politics” (RP for short) have shown me that some very weird ideas have become normalized among many younger Western Blacks. I have to specify younger Western Blacks, because I’ve never seen African colleagues, coworkers or acquaintances heap scorn on respectable behavior. Maybe some Africans somewhere are joining Western Blacks in scorning common sense and respectable behavior as so-called RP. I’m just saying that I’ve never seen any Africans do that.

I’m not going to mince words in this post. I’m going to say some things the plain way. I’m also going to quote some comments I’ve recently made online about some of these weird new school notions. But before I get to that, let me make a list of these peculiar, self-defeating ideas and assumptions that I’ve been surprised to see underlying a lot of younger Western Black women’s comments (and perceptions).

·         Weird Idea #1- respectable, sane, and civilized behavior is some kind of burden, equals making concessions to White people, and equals appeasing White people. [Ignoring the fact that in their pursuit of access to White vaginas, BM have been changing their behavior to make themselves pleasing to White women for over a century.]

·         Weird Idea #2 – the way an African-American (AA) woman shows her ethnic and racial self-respect is to behave in an Unfriendly Bordering On Hostile manner when among White people. [Ignoring the fact that in their pursuit of access to White vaginas, BM dropped that Acting Unfriendly Around White People routine 40+ years ago.]

·         Weird Idea #3 – AA women’s opportunities to socialize, network, date and marry in the outer world are as limited as they were 30+ years ago.

These Weird Ideas Are Insult To Our Foremothers

Seeing comments that appear to be fueled by Weird Idea #3 upset me more than anything else. Because it spits in the face of everything that our foremothers went through in the U.S. For any AA woman alive today to sit up and pretend as if she’s living under the same harsh circumstances as our foremothers is a disgusting insult to all the AABW who came before us.

It also makes mockery of everything that AA women in my age group (who were the first mass desegregation generation) went through.

Unfortunately, the sort of careful planning and preparation that apparently was done by AA adults whose children integrated southern schools did NOT happen in terms of northern, big city child pioneer integrationists. At least, not from what I could tell by knowing a number of northern, big city child pioneer integrationists, including several of my cousins.

Instead, what happened in the Chicago-area (and in other northern big cities from what I’ve heard from survivors among the child pioneer integrationists in my age group) is that individual AA parents decided to move into previously all-White or overwhelmingly White neighborhoods and suburbs without any sort of preparation or planning for their children.

In many cases these AA parents did so for ego-centric, showing off reasons. Such as the quest to be recognized as the First Black to live in Fill In The Blank Place. That whole Special Snowflake mental disorder is not a new thing. Many of them didn’t care that their children were suffering and paying the price for their quest to be the First Blacks (and often the Only Blacks) in Fill In The Blank Place.

Which is why off the top of my head I can think of 5 Chicago-area child pioneer integrationists whose minds were destroyed by the experience. One of whom is on psychotropic medications after an adolescence, young adulthood, and middle age spent never having established a healthy or stable lifestyle. AAs never talk about (or even admit) that there were large numbers of AA child pioneer integrationist casualties whose minds were destroyed by the experience.

I praise God that my parents were quite happy to keep living in our all-Black, middle class neighborhood while I grew up. I praise God that I had a foundation of a happy childhood spent growing up in an all-Black middle-class neighborhood. That foundation of being comfortable in my own skin came in handy when I first encountered large numbers of Whites in my magnet high school and at the White college and law school I attended.

What pisses me off the most about Weird Idea #3 is that I can tell that younger, new school AA women are using that false idea as an excuse for their inaction. As an excuse for their failure to take advantage of the opportunities that exist nowadays. I’m not feeling any of that.
The same way I'm not feeling the so-called plight of those AABW actresses who are too lazy to take advantage of the opportunities that literally didn’t exist for earlier generations of Black actresses.
In an age of video podcast TV shows, YouTube videos, digital film equipment, etc., modern day Black actresses don’t have any legitimate excuses for not producing and creating an audience for their own content. These women are not trapped into begging for other people to cast them in their productions the way pioneers like Diahann Carroll and others were in previous generations.

How do I know that most of this “our plight as AA women” talk is an excuse for inaction?
Because in the time that it’s taken me to write and indie publish 6 books*, a lot of y’all in various BW-centric audiences are STILL talking about what you’re “going to do.” [*The recipe ebook I showed an Amazon royalty check for in THIS post, an ebook about homemade organic beauty products, the Sojourner’s Passport book, and 3 romance books geared toward WW romance novel readers.]

Comments During A Recent Discussion
Here are some comments I made during a recent online discussion. Since this part is so long, I’ve made the first sentence or two in each separate comment purple bold:

[Other Commenter],

You said (I’ve emphasized certain parts in bold):

—“On another note, I agree that respectability politics is a good thing. If by respectability politics, you mean presenting yourself in the best light possible at all times in order to combat negative stereotypes associated with your racial/ethnic group.”—

I don’t understand why so many (mostly younger) Blacks keep imposing THIS interpretation on respectable, sane, civilized behavior.

I don’t present myself in the best light possible in order to combat negative stereotypes about my racial/ethnic group.

I present myself in the best light possible because THIS is what works best (and feels most comfortable) for ME. I carry myself as a respectable, sane, civlized person because I AM a respectable, sane, civilized person. And I LIKE and ENJOY being a respectable, sane, civilized person.

Behaving in a respectable, sane, civilized manner isn’t some kind of burden for me. It’s not a sacrifice for me. Which is what new school Blacks make it sound like when they characterize respectable, sane, and civilized behavior as some sort of appeasement of White people. I really don’t get that false connection so many (mostly younger) Western Blacks make between respectable, sane, and civilized behavior and White people and appeasing White people.

Black folks who do that make it sound as if Blacks are inherently depraved savages. Because if somebody perceives respectable behavior as automatically equalling some sort of concession to Whites, or as a burden (much less a heavy, unbearable burden) . . . what does that perception say about that person’s natural inclinations?

Behaving in a respectable, sane, civilized manner happens to have positive side effects. Such as not confirming ugly stereotypes. Such as the fact that respectable, sane, civilized behaviors and lifestyle choices tend to lead to better outcomes in life. But those are positive side effects. I’m a respectable, sane, civilized person because I enjoy being a respectable, sane, civilized person.
[Blog Hostess],
Before I say anything else, let me thank you for hosting this conversation. I believe that being able to talk this issue through has helped a lot of folks (myself included) clarify their thoughts about all of this.
 [Other Commenter],
You’re welcome!
Your comment has stirred up lots of memories and thoughts for me. :-)
First, it’s it pitiful that one has to do all that “code switching” just to go unharrassed among other AA Blacks at work. Because the real deal is that any AA woman who doesn’t display at least a few ABC mannerisms in front of other AA employees will be the target of open and active sabotage by those other AA Black employees. It’s ironic—the vast majority of AAs at any job won’t cooperate with each other to advance each other as a group (the way non-AA others do). But they will get together to cooperate in dogging out another AA Black coworker who doesn’t conform to their expectations of “Blackness.”

Second, isn’t it so very interesting that—no offense intended—so many AA women like your mother feel obligated to carry the torch for ongoing hostility to Whites? Especially given that AA Black males made a point of dropping that unfriendly-bordering-on-openly-hostile-to-Whites behavior around Whites DECADES ago.

As a teenager, I recall hearing AA negro males at my magnet high school making a point of openly saying that they liked ALL girls, irrespective of race. I don’t remember them ever appearing to feel any need to show hostility to White folks. And other AA Blacks didn’t try to check them about their lack of hostility to Whites in general (and White girls in particular). THAT burden of being aloof somehow was reserved for AA girls and women. And AA girls and women were the only ones being “policed” by other AA Blacks over any perceived lack of displayed hostility toward Whites.

It all reminds me of a post by Halima:

Third, I’m appalled to see how some very peculiar notions have taken root among so many modern day Western Blacks. And I have to specify Western Blacks, because I’ve never seen African Blacks scorn respectable behavior. Maybe there are some of them doing that. I’ve just never seen or heard any African coworker or acquaintance scorn respectable behavior. Just sayin.’

Fourth, I’m amazed at how so many new school AA women have kept all these very strange in the modern context notions going. Let me be more specific about what I mean. It amazes me to see and hear so many young AA women still talking this blanket hostility to Whites talk in the modern context. I was a teenager in the 1980s. I’ve seen how much things have changed socially. I grew up in segregated Chicago, and spent my teenage years and young adulthood in the U.S. Midwest. I also have some cousins who are straight-up White-people-worshipping oreos for real.

When I was in high school, college and law school, it really didn’t matter how open and friendly you were as an AA girl or young woman. The vast majority of Whites in the Midwest would NOT respond appropriately. Because the vast majority of them were NOT open to befriending ANY AA Black person, no matter how friendly you were to them or around them. And the racist Whites vastly outnumbered the non-racist Whites. So it took a LOT of courage for a non-racist White person to genuinely befriend an AA person in the Midwest (especially in segregated Chicago). Be “befriend” I mean any relationship or interaction that goes deeper than surface acquaintances (beyond saying “Hi” and “Bye”).

Most people of all races are cowards. Why would Whites go through all those extra changes when there are plenty of their own people to socialize with, date, and marry?

So, during those 2 decades, I heard plenty of anguished tales from those relatives who were the parents of my White-people-worshipping oreo cousins who STILL literally had doors slammed in their faces when they tried to attend White parties that the handful of non-racist White kids at their high school had invited them to.

And I saw things for myself during high school, college and law school: American White boys/men would smile, look at, and admire the beauty of AA Black girls, but only about 5% of them were brave enough to approach an AA Black girl*. And of those American White boys/men who were brave enough to approach an AA Black girl and ask her out, only about 2% of those males were bold enough to take that Black girl home to their parents and family. Things are very different now.

[*Also factor in the non-friendly, closed, bordering-on-hostile behaviors that most AABW are socialized to engage in regarding WM.]

I don’t know what was happening on the east or west coast in the 1980s or 1990s. I’m talking about what was going on in Chicago, other areas in the Midwest and the rest of “Heartland America” (places outside of parts of L.A. and parts of NYC) at that time (I had female AA friends who went to various colleges throughout the country).

Another difference: When I was in college, law school, and during much of my 30s, non-racist/non-hostile White Americans were generally as clueless and oblivious to racism as racist/hostile Whites. Unless there was a cross burning somewhere—with a noose attached to it—the vast majority of non-racist/non-hostile White Americans never really picked up on or noticed racism unless and until they were prompted by Black folks’ outcry. And even then, most of them were so insensitive that they just couldn’t perceive or comprehend that anything was amiss unless and until there was a cross burning.

By contrast, I’ve seen young (30 and under) non-racist White prosecutors—without there having been any complaints or outcry or prompting from any Blacks in their social circle—publicly lash out and go ALL the way off on other Whites who said something they perceived as racist in their presence. I’ve also watched groups of younger (30 and under) non-racist White prosecutors—again, without prompting by any Black person—denigrate other White coworkers that they perceive as being racist.

I’m saying all of this to say that it’s a TRAVESTY to see so many young AA Black women needlessly cut their own throats and squander the MUCH more open social networking, dating, and marriage opportunities that literally did NOT exist in most areas of the U.S. when I was their age (at least not that I or any other AA girls/young women I knew who went to college throughout the country at that time were aware of).

Geez, I hadn’t meant for my earlier comment to be THAT long—LOL! Please excuse me, y’all.

One thing I forgot to mention about the AA negro males at my magnet high school and college who made a point of openly saying that they liked ALL girls, irrespective of race.

In terms of the ones I went to school with, even AFTER some of these negro males “who love ALL girls” (not infrequently) got accused of rape by the White girls they chased after and sexed—and/or physically attacked by these White girls’ fathers and brothers—other AA Blacks somehow never scolded or policed them for their lack of hostility to Whites or for their openness to White girls. In those instances, somehow ALL Black folks’ outrage became focused on the Cry Rape After She Got Caught Sexing A Negro Male White girl or her racist White kinsmen. There was no “What Did YOU Do To Get Yourself Caught Up?” victim-analysis such as what AAs routinely do whenever something negative happens to AA women and girls.

Even after these AA negro males got burned by White girls, they were NOT expected to carry a torch of hostility toward Whites. These negro males were NOT expected to be or demonstrate hostility toward Whites. That duty was somehow reserved for AA girls.

It’s a new day. There’s no self-interested reason for any AA woman to be engaging in Sista Soldiering-style blanket hostility to Whites or other nonblacks. Or for harboring the sorts of assumptions that go along with that behavior. All you do when you do that is erase the “wiggle room” (as Evia calls it) that you might need later on down the road.


For the young-uns in the audience, here are a couple of links to the sorts of things that would happen to Black folks who wandered into or around certain neighborhoods in 1980s America—these 2 incidents are from 1980s New York City (emphasis added in bold):

“Yusef Hawkins (also spelled as Yusuf Hawkins, March 19, 1973 – August 23, 1989) was a 16-year-old African-American who was shot to death on August 23, 1989 in Bensonhurst, a predominantly Italian-American working-class neighborhood in the New York City borough of Brooklyn. Hawkins and three friends were attacked by a crowd of 10 to 30 white youths, with at least seven of them wielding baseball bats. One, armed with a handgun, shot Hawkins twice in the chest, killing him.[1][2]

Hawkins had gone to Bensonhurst that night with three friends to inquire about a used 1982 Pontiac automobile that was for sale. The group’s attackers had been lying in wait for either African-American or Latino youths they believed were dating a neighborhood girl.”

“One African-American man was killed and another was beaten in Howard Beach, Queens, New York, in a racially charged incident in December 1986 that heightened racial tensions in New York City.

The dead man was 23-year-old Michael Griffith, who was born on March 2, 1963 in Trinidad and lived in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. He was killed after being hit by a car on December 20, 1986 as he was chased onto a highway by a mob of white youths who had beaten him and his friends. Griffith’s death was the second in a string of three infamous racially-motivated killings of blacks by white mobs in New York City in the 1980s. The other victims were Willie Turks in 1982 and Yusuf Hawkins in 1989.”

This incident is from 1997 Chicago:

“For the last few days, a parade of politicians and preachers have made their way to the bedside of a comatose 13-year-old black boy to pray for his recovery and for the city’s soul.

In a storm of fists and feet, the boy, Lenard Clark, was beaten into a coma by a pack of white teen-agers as he rode his bicycle last Friday on the edge of Bridgeport, a neighborhood known here for producing mayors and racial hostility. According to the police, the teen-agers later bragged about keeping blacks out of the neighborhood.

These are tense times in Chicago. The beating of Lenard came on the heels of another ugly but less serious racial incident two weeks earlier. During a high school basketball game, dozens of students from a predominately white, Catholic boys school taunted players from a largely black school with chants of ”Buckwheat.””

THIS was the atmosphere in which teenage and older AA negro males were making a point of publicly saying that they like ALL girls, irrespective of race.

Don’t let anybody try to fool you into thinking that New York City, Boston, Chicago, New Jersey or any other major Northern city was oh-so-different from the dangers of backwoods Alabama in those days. THESE were the known risks that AA negro males were willing to take in order to befriend, chase after, date and sex White girls. Furthermore, AA negro males knowingly took these risks in pursuit of White vaginas without any criticism whatsoever from other AAs after they were beaten and/or killed during their pursuit of White vaginas.

I’m telling y’all younger readers this so you can put it in perspective. AA negro males dropped that Self-Othering Behavior/Acting Unfriendly & Strange Around White People shtick DECADES ago.

 AA negro males have also always been willing and eager to literally risk their lives in order to be friendly to White girls and WW.

AA negro males have also always been willing and eager to behave in ways that White girls and WW found pleasing.

So, why in the world in 2014 (going on 2015) would YOU as an AA woman feel the need to act strange, engage in self-othering behaviors, and do other weird things in order to feel like you aren’t making some [imagined] “concession” to White people?

With all due respect, I feel that a lot of y’all are drawing the WRONG conclusions from what I’ve been (unsuccessfully) trying to express. Let me try this again:

Modern-day AA women and girls (who have their heads on right) are NOT “stuck between a rock and a hard place.” Instead, you have MORE opportunities than EVER existed before for AA women and girls. Especially those of you who are still in the prime of youth—when your “woman card” has the most market value. If you choose to squander the opportunities you have in this day and age, that’s on YOU and YOU ALONE as far as I’m concerned.

If you’re trying to pretend that your social opportunities today are like the way such things were 30-35 years ago (as an excuse for not seeking abundant life in the outer world), that’s on you and you alone. I was there before. Things have changed. Things are significantly different.

Any AA woman who waits until there’s any sort “a solid and SUPPORTIVE community to fall back on” before she seeks abundant life might as well curl and die right now.

Because there will never be any “solid and SUPPORTIVE community” among any sub-set or sub-faction of AA Blacks. Including among the BWE readership. And y’all know that. Because the bulk of YOU aren’t giving “solid” support to BWE activists and readers who have businesses and products for sale. Stop tripping. Evia already (correctly) called a lot of y’all out about that. Personally, I ain’t mad about it (I know how my own people “do”); I just don’t like dishonesty.

That notion of AA women and girls waiting for “a solid and SUPPORTIVE community” before they do X,Y, Z is just another excuse for folks’ ongoing refusal to take advantage of the opportunities that didn’t exist during my youth. I’m sorry, I can’t let y’all slide with that excuse.

I didn’t realize it during high school, college and law school, but there were nuances to those racial beatings of AA negro males. The AA collective likes to characterize those attacks as White hatred against ALL Blacks. I’ve come to realize that this was actually about gendered sexual competition between males. And about White male tribal protection of their tribe’s females from outsiders.

To be blunt: WM and White boys didn’t want AA negro males sniffing around their sisters’ and daughters’ vaginas. BM always describe their actions and issues as being about “civil rights and such (and this is the story BM sell to BW), but it’s always been about BM wanting access to White vaginas.

Males tend to not have any illusions about other males’ real agendas. The same way women aren’t fooled by other women’s agendas. So WM and White boys were never fooled by AA negro males’ “civil rights” talk. They knew the real deal–and knew BM’s real motivations for trying to socialize with Whites–from jump street.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but these racist beatings and attacks were mostly a gendered war between AA negro males trying to access White vaginas and WM trying to protect the women in their group from that. Because another harsh reality is that AA negro males have a widely observed and known pattern of paternal abandonment of the children they sire, along with a host of other sub-par paternal deficits.

This battle between AA negro males and WM has nothing to do with AA women. AA women don’t have a horse in that particular race, and don’t have a dog in that particular fight. Most AA women and girls didn’t realize this nuance back in the day. Because this was sold to us as blind attacks on ALL Black folks (who were supposedly all in it together on the same team), not a gendered sexual competition between males.

My point is that since AA negro males weren’t too proud to make all sorts of behavioral concessions to White people (including risking death) to chase and please White girls, why are YOU worried about feeling like you’re making concessions [to White people] if you carry yourself in a respectable way?

Most AA women and girls in my age group fell for the okey-doke. There’s no reason for you young-uns to fall for the same okey-doke. There is no “team.” There is no “us.” By now, the so-called Black community has made it perfectly plain that they will never support you. BM have made it perfectly plain that they will never support you. Each AA woman and girl has to go her own way. And stop waiting for anybody else to actively support you.

No, it’s not “fair.” Life is not fair. And yes, nonblack women have it much easier because they have active support from the men in their group PLUS active support from BM.

It is what it is. Circumstances and opportunities for AA women are better now than they’ve ever been before in the U.S. If you fail to take advantage of these opportunities–because you’re waiting on support that in your heart you know will never come from any large group of Blacks (including from the audience of BWE readers)–that’s on you, and you alone.


[Blog Hostess],

I’m greatly relieved to hear that I misunderstood what you were saying, and that the issue wasn’t being framed in terms of waiting on support. Praise God! I must admit that I worry about that sort of thing, because AAs have a long-term habit of imposing the same old self-defeating interpretations on new ideas. We’ve done that with every previous new idea/solution AA activists have come up with.

I’m very, VERY thankful for this era’s greatly increased opportunities for AA women and girls.

Addendum. In my view, AABW in my mother’s generation (and older generations) didn’t tell younger AABW the plain truth. About many things. In bulk, they stayed silent about anything that reflected poorly on BM. In bulk, they didn’t look out for their daughters’ best interests (the way a “typical” Jewish mother actively looks out for her daughters’ best interests).

Instead, most of them (some knowingly, others unknowingly) sacrificed their daughters’ and other BW’s daughters’ best interests on the altar of “supporting our young BM.” I don’t do that. When I speak about AA women’s issues, I tell the plain truth as I honestly see it. Whether folks get angry or not. I keep a clear conscience.

Forty-plus years of mass AA out of wedlock (oow) childbearing and the mass fatherlessness created by oow have allowed lots of weird ideas to take root among modern day AAs. Fatherless new school folks can get angry at people like me who point this out. But it is what it is. A lot of AABW are drowning, or barely treading water at best. These weird ideas are a large part of what has AABW drowning.

Another thing that keeps a lot of AABW drowning or barely treading water is their refusal to take action. And their inclination to twist everything around into an excuse for their refusal to take action. I understand that a lot folks want different results without having to actually do anything different. Which is fine. Keep doing the same thing. Please just stop complaining about the getting the same (negative) results that you’ve always gotten while doing those same things. Own your choices—instead of complaining about the fruit your choices bear.

If you want to find abundant life, stop talking and start doing. Nowadays there are opportunities for AABW that never existed before. If you’re serious about living well, you won’t squander these opportunities.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

So-Called “Respectability Politics” = What Used To Be Called Common Sense

A very interesting conversation recently came up over at Neecy's blog. Since African-Americans (AAs) have now become a permanent underclass in this country, any AA Black woman who wants to have a better quality of life can't afford to be confused about common sense.

Because her quality of life for years to come—and her future children’s quality of life for years to come—depend on her not falling for the various new school AA “okey-dokes” that will undermine and destroy any possibility of living an abundant lifestyle.

What (mostly fatherless, born out of wedlock) new school AA fools refer to as Respectability Politics (RP) tend to be the following behaviors that Evia described in a comment to the same post:

  • Behaving in a well-mannered way in public;
  • Not engaging in petty crimes;
  • Using good grammar;
  • Practicing sexual discipline and/or using common sense about sex;
  • Studying and getting good grades;
  • Saving and investing money;
  • Getting married before having children;
  • Raising one's children well;
  • Having and supporting out own businesses;
  • Chastising out own people when called for;
Etc., etc., etc.,

Nobody in their right mind has a problem with any of these behaviors. Much less scorns these behaviors as being RP. Anybody who scorns these behaviors is either working through some sort of emotional problem related to their own family of origin's FAILURE to do the above, or that person must want AAs to remain a permanent underclass. Because this is just plain common sense.

Another commenter named JaliliMaster pointed out the verbal trick that Blacks who object to common sense standards (reject so-called RP) use when she said:
Respect is earned, not handed out like bonbons at a kids party. So yes, some women (and men) are far less deserving of respect than others (and I suspect you know this, hence the reason you decided to throw in the word ‘humanity’, so that you can quietly imply that if anyone is giving less respect to someone due to their own actions, they are somehow denying them their humanity. Slick). If you want to behave in a ratchet or uncouth manner, by all means do, but you have no right to dictate how others perceive you or the opinions they form of you due to the things you say and do. Bw (and bp in general) like to complain about this or that negative stereotype, saying they should be judged on the content of their character and not the colour of their skin. Yet, when they ARE judged on the content of their character (your actions and words are the best tool to be used to determine one’s character), these same folks complain about being judged at all! It’s like the whore wanting to get the same respect that the soccer mom gets, or the small time crook wanting the same respect as the doctor, or the rude obnoxious person wanting and expecting people to think as highly of them as they do of the polite and friendly person. IT IS INSANITY! Yet folks still wonder why no one takes Black folks seriously!
Yeah, she's absolutely right.

Please note that in the context of the conversation surrounding two recent posts at Neecy's blog,
“hole-drilling” refers to AA women who are metaphorically drilling holes in the AA collective's “boat,” thereby helping to cause it to sink.  
Anyway, I said the following:

Neecy, I have the same question that One Less Soldier asked. 
In my humble opinion, the term “Respectability Politics” is a loaded term that is generally used by Blacks with a certain type of mindset (I’ll get to that in a moment), and/or who tend to come from a certain type of family background. Going by the things you’re saying in this follow-up post, I get the feeling that you might not be using that term “respectability politics” (RP for short) in the same way the “usual suspects” among AA Blacks are using that term. I could be wrong, please correct me if I am. 
Short version: I co-sign JaliliMaster’s comment from the previous post.  
Long version: In most of the instances I’ve seen the RP term used, it’s used by AA Blacks who are trying to shame other AA Blacks for having or enforcing any standards at all in terms of conduct, character and comportment. Most of the AA Blacks who use the term RP reject the concept of there being any such thing as good character and bad character. Because having standards involves judging and assessing people.  
The folks who use the RP term typically want every choice and every type of behavior to be considered “equal.” Meanwhile, the real world doesn’t and won’t consider every choice and every type of behavior to be “equal” or “equivalent.” Never has, never will.
To put it bluntly, most of the Blacks I’ve seen scorn what they call RP were born out of wedlock themselves to single mothers and want to defend that particular choice (of having children oow). Keep in mind, AAs now have several generations of adult AAs who were born oow.  
The Blacks I’ve seen scorn what they call RP also tend to be emotionally invested in defending the entire web of other poor choices and inferior life circumstances (oh, such as poverty and welfare) that have often been observed to accompany oow childbearing. The Blacks I’ve seen scorn what they call RP interpret any Black person speaking in support of wholesome, prudent behavior; wholesome, married-based childrearing; and the generally superior life circumstances that tend to flow from wholesome lifestyle choices as a personal affront and attack on their own single mother and/or an attack on the sperm donor who created them out of wedlock.  
Basically, talking about anything that touches on the idea of having standards stirs up a lot of unresolved issues and RAGE among the modern population of AA Blacks, many of whom were born out of wedlock themselves and grew up fatherless. In my observation, it’s similar to how any AA Black woman talking about her treasured experiences of growing up as a Daddy’s girl will automatically send many of the modern-day born-out-of-wedlock, fatherless AA BW into an enraged frenzy. Some topics stir up fatherless Black folks’ unresolved issues surrounding their fatherlessness and prompt them to lash out at anybody who is praising standards and the generally-observed superior results of having standards.  
I believe that folks should be aware that any topic that touches on the idea of having any sort of standards is a “3rd rail” for many modern day AAs. Because, even though they won’t admit it out loud (although their reactions to things tells on them)—many modern day AAs know that they’ll come up short if the level of stability in their personal family background, their personal levels of achievement, or their quality of their life is compared to that of a typical person from any other ethnicity.

I would humbly suggest that you side-step anybody who throws the term “respectability politics” at you, and/or tries to pressure you away from having standards. :-)

Thanks for explaining what you mean by RP. Here are my thoughts in response.
I personally believe that RP are mostly a good thing. Because the behaviors that are typically perceived as engaging in RP (as Evia succinctly summarized them): 
—“. . . . behaved in a well-mannered way in public, didn’t engage in petty crimes, used good grammar, practiced more sexual discipline or used common sense about sex, studied and got good grades, saved and invested money, got married before having children, raised our children well, had and supported our own businesses, chastised our own, etc.”— 
Lead to the MUCH increased probability of individual and group success. AAs can pretend like we don’t know this, but it’s Reality/Common Sense 101. And we can all see this reality played out in the rise of the immigrant ethnic groups that practice these common sense values, such as immigrant Muslims, East Indians, and Asians. 
Modern day, mostly fatherless AA adults don’t want to clean up their behavior. So they come up with all sorts of sophisticated-sounding (but lacking in common sense) ideological jargon to take the focus off of their self-defeating, inferior behaviors.  

Modern day, mostly fatherless AA adults ALSO deliberately ascribe false motivations to those other AA Blacks who choose to “behave in a well-mannered way in public, don’t engage in petty crimes, use good grammar, practice more sexual discipline, study and get good grades, save and invest money, get married before having children,” etc,, etc., etc.
Modern day, mostly fatherless AA adults like to claim that those other AA Blacks who do these things are doing so to appease White people. NO, most people I’ve encountered who “behave in a well-mannered way in public, etc., etc.,” do so because they were raised well—they were raised to behave and carry themselves in this fashion, AND they know that doing these things increase the odds of success in life. Full stop. Period.  
It’s similar to the goofy claim that any AA Black student who studies and gets good grades is somehow “acting White.” Sane, civilized, gracious behavior and lifestyles shouldn’t be perceived as a bad thing. Which is what has happened among the modern, fatherless masses of AAs. This is typical Dead AA Collective upside-down, inside-out, down-is-up sort of distorted thinking.  
Here’s where I agree to disagree with part of what you’re saying.  
NEECY SAID (I’ve emphasized certain parts in bold): 
—“But When we say that the other sisters are making it bad for us because of their actions, then we are saying that if only they straightened up, our situations would be better. We’ve put all our eggs in their basket, and frankly that will get us nowhere because we cannot grab every BW “not acting right” and beat them into submission.”— 
I believe there are several unwarranted assumptions in the above statement. First, I don’t recall hearing or seeing anybody saying that IF ONLY “hole-drilling” BW straighten up then things would be better for AABW in general. Because I don’t recall hearing or seeing anybody saying that “hole-drilling” BW are the ONLY source of BW’s problems. “Hole-drilling” BW are PART of the problem. And since they’re part of what’s causing BW’s problems, if these women would cease and desist from their “hole-drilling” behaviors, then AABW would be better off. Because it’s always better to reduce parts of a problem than have it remain full-sized (or grow).   
I also disagree with your view that sane, sensible, civilized BW “put all [their] eggs in their basket.” [Put all their eggs in the basket of trying to get “hole-drilling” BW to stop drilling holes.] I believe there’s an unwarranted assumption in this statement. For a sane, sensible, civilized BW to say, “I don’t like hole-drilling behavior, it’s creating and adding to problems, and I’d prefer that the hole-drillers knock it off” does not equal putting all one’s eggs in any particular basket. It simply means that person is saying that they don’t like hole-drilling behavior, they feel it’s creating or adding to problems, and would prefer that it stop. 
Here’s the thing—“Hole-drilling” AAs and Their Ideological Cheerleaders don’t want any criticism whatsoever to be made of these hole-drilling behaviors. I believe this posture is rooted in many of these people being the children of “hole-drilling” BW and coming from “hole-drilling” homes. Basically, modern AAs have come up with all sorts of sophisticated-sounding ideology and jargon to massage their various emotional problems. Including and especially the emotional problems and deficits caused by fatherlessness and being raised by a single mother. 
So when in your earlier post you sounded like you were striking a blow against RP—and by extension, against the moral and family VALUES underlying RP—a lot of Born OOW/Fatherless Readers and Readers Who Cheerlead OOW/Pretending That Fatherlessness Is A-Okay quickly latched onto your post and ran with it. In my view, they ran with your earlier post in a way that you might not have intended*. Which is what caused many of the other comments in opposition to the Readers Who Cheerlead OOW/Pretend That Fatherlessness Is A-Okay. All of which is what caused the conversation in the earlier post to go off the rails. LOL. 
[*I didn’t think you necessarily meant RP in the way these other folks did because I’ve never seen you act like OOW & Fatherlessness is just fine and dandy–LOL!] 

Ladies, if you want to live well, get FAR away from anybody who scorns common sense as so-called Respectability Politics.

Your quality of life for years to come—and your future children’s quality of life for years to come—depends on it.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

"Keep moving forward. Do NOT look in any direction but FORWARD. Do not pause to look to the side or back."

During the comments to THIS excellent post over at Not Your Girl Friday, veteran Common Sense blogger Evia said the following:

I’m sharing my deja vu experiences here because I don’t want AAbw to EVER again become stagnant for a second or paralyzed by soothing words or promises that “We’re ALL in this together.” That is total BS! AABw must keep moving forward. DO not look in any direction but FORWARD. Do not pause to look to the side or back. Keep looking 24-7 for your avenue of escape. I’m not saying that it’s going to always be peachy or comfortable after you escape, but one thing you should know for sure by now is that if you stay back there, you’re going down.

I’m saying this because I would want someone to repeat the same thing to my granddaughter if she ever were to find herself in the predicament that so many AAbw are facing today.

I just read where the Southeast Asian community has pledged solidarity with blacks to fight against institutionalized violence. To SOME AAblacks, that’s going to be translated as their SAVIOR has come. But this too is deja vu. I’ve seen this SAME thing before too because when people don’t learn the lesson, it will be repeated for those people–over and over again.

During the 1970s, the ‘hippies’ and other young whites had coalitions comprised of tens/hundreds of thousands of young middle and upper class, wealthy, well-educated whites–sons and daughters of the white power structure in this country–staged MASSIVE demonstrations practically everyday like it was their religion, caused mayhem and death by blowing up buildings and people, etc. They were mainly protesting the Vietnam war but also social injustices in this country. It was UGLY! They were protesting against the old-order, right-wing “establishment” and everything that represented their parents. There were some SERIOUS young white revolutionaries in those days like the Weathermen and the SDS. And from Germany, I remember there was a left wing bad-azz group of young German revolutionaries called Baader Meinhof. RUTHLESS and deadly! I remember that average whites were TERRIFIED of these groups of white revolutionaries because many of these revolutionary white youth came out of top flight ivies like Columbia, Yale, Harvard, Princeton, and schools like Berkeley, etc. and similar European universities. Of course, they knew how to get a ton of media everyday because these were the sons and daughters of the powers-that-be.

But after the dust settled and these hippies and other young whites graduated, got older, got bored, got jobs, married and had children, they went back to being regular white folks again, and some of them became right-wingers themselves. LOL

These massive demonstrations of young whites coincided with the days of “Power to the People,” “Black is Beautiful” and bm raising their fist in the air yelling: “Black Power” “Fight the Power,” Black Panthers, and yadda, yadda. The hippie whites and the Black Power groups fed off each other and some in each camp became very involved in each others’ protest activities.

AAbw were so proud and upright, in general, PRIOR to that time. But looking back, I realize that this was the time when AAbw, as a group, made a terrible mistake. They became mesmerized by the way black men could stand up and make speeches slinging words together (just like with Hip Hop) and the attention that some of those Black Power fist waving, loud talking bm could get from white folks. Bw considered those bm to be “strong brothers” and “comrades in arms” to tear down the de racist power structure–even though the bm “leaders” were sexing ww at every opportunity. Bm convinced all of those bw who were doing the overwhelming most of the organizing and grunt work to stay quiet and stay in the background and let them do all the talking and mingling with whites. In other words, “be a quiet mule and let me ride on you.”

So, let’s look at AAbw now. AAbw, for sure, have gone WAY backwards–since they got still and ran, fetched, sacrificed for bm who sweet-talked them and claimed that if the women would just prop them up and back them up, then when they made it, they were going to lift up bw. The downfall of AAbw was that they believed those black men who called them “Sister” and claimed “Ain’t no woman more beautiful than a bw,” and “We’re ALL in this together.” And other okey dokes.

AAblacks are going to have to find the solution for themselves. Period. And if they can’t, then, oh well. But I can tell from reading certain comments that plenty of AAblacks are going to feel so good now that the Asians are coming to “save them.” Instead of blacks revving themselves up to solve the bulk of THEIR OWN issues by dealing with their OWN people, they’re going to wallow in feeling good since they’ve found their savior. Until the Asians get bored and go back to living their regular lives.

I said the following in response:


Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for saying this!

I co-sign 1,000%. I toyed with the idea of doing a blog post similar to what you’ve laid out in this comment, but you’ve already covered it all! I also feel that it’s better to have this conversation over here because I would imagine that OLS’ audience skews younger than my blog. And it’s critical that younger AABW don’t fall for the same okey-doke their AABW predecessors fell for.

Ladies, I hope and pray you listen well to what Evia is saying here.

Because RIGHT NOW you’re seeing what AAs being (not “becoming”—it’s a done deal at this point) a PERMANENT UNDERCLASS looks like. Being a permanent underclass in the U.S. means being totally irrelevant to everybody else in the country. It means that nobody else has any rational, self-interest-related reason to care whether or not AAs are displeased by anything. Nobody else has any rational, self-interest-related reason to care about AA citizens being beaten or killed on camera by post 9/11 militarized American police forces.

Because AAs don’t affect anything in our now-entrenched state of:

–mass OOW,

–ongoing unspoken boycott of visibly AA-owned businesses,

–ongoing refusal to cooperate with each other,

–ongoing refusal to “do for self”

–ongoing consumer behavior pattern of financially supporting our own erasure,

–ongoing consumer behavior pattern of financially supporting AA male performers who transfer every coin they get to nonblack women (non-stop wealth transfers OUT of the AA collective and back into other people’s collectives),

–ongoing behavior of characterizing and scorning COMMON SENSE as “respectability politics,”

etc., etc., etc., etc.

For a contrasting example, it’s not like other White American ethnic groups are just so in love with the Jews. They’re not (at least not in the urban, White ethnic North). But White Americans who are not so enamored with Jewish people DO know that if they ever mumble a word in public that offends Jewish Americans, then they will suffer SEVERE & PERMANENT penalties to their livelihood as individuals. Because Jewish money is organized and used in support and protection of Jewish people.

Nonblacks often use the spectacle of AA political tantrums and (AA suffering as entertainment). Lots of nonblacks always enjoyed taking “vacations” rolling around in various AA subcultures, from the jazz subculture decades ago—to the radical politics subculture Evia talked about—to today’s mess.

The only things that are consistently effective at mitigating the effects and impacts of racism (or any other form of prejudice such as anti-Semitism) are: (1) group organization, and (2) group-supportive use of money.

AAs (and Blacks around the world) are perpetually disorganized in comparison to other peoples. Which is why nonblack minority populations have consistently been able to conquer and rule over Blacks across the planet. Right now, nonblack minority populations are economically ruling over MUCH larger masses of Blacks as merchants—in Black habitations in the U.S. and in Black countries in general.

The most basic unit of organization in any society or group is a stable family unit based on a married couple. As long as AAs refuse to form families based on marriage, we will continue to be ruled over by a succession of other ethnic and racial groups. Frankly, I don’t see the masses of AAs ever again having stable families based on marriage. Too many generations of AAs have been born out of wedlock, have normalized the practice of having illegitimate babies, and are entrenched in defending their mothers’ and sperm donors’ choice to have them out of wedlock.

Young AABW in the reading audience have a choice: You can “stay neutral” as OLS has wisely said and keep moving forward as Evia has mentioned in particular in this comment. Or you can let BM and Sista Soldiers distract you with these cyclical, time-wasting venting sessions about BM victimhood—but only at the hands of nonblack men. Somehow, AA males and Sista Soldiers don’t work themselves into a lather about the many orders of magnitude larger number of AA males who are killed by other AA males day in and day out.

I would urge you to be very careful about who and what you invest your attention and energy into. Because some of the voices and commenters that you might have assumed are heavily pro-BW are actually Sister Soldiers as far as I’m concerned. The conversations revolving around the Ferguson and Eric Garner cases have revealed this with some voices making blanket statements about Whites.

As far as I’m concerned, any BW who makes blanket statements about White people/White Americans is a Sista Soldier. Because if one is actually looking at or interacting with White Americans (and Whites anywhere else) without ideological blinders on, one will see that they’re not an undifferentiated mass. As with any other collective of people, there are factions within them.

Imma say it straight up: Just like BM have ALWAYS done with White women, I reserve the RIGHT to give any and all White men of my choosing “passes” on any particular issue of my choosing. To whatever extent I want. For as long as I want. And without any explanation to anybody else, much less any explanation to BM. Full stop. Period.

Like I said earlier, I believe that is the final rotation for AAs. The only reason why Ferguson-related turmoil and crybaby-style acting out/crying out is on [White folks’] TV is because enough nonblacks are entertained and titillated by this. Once nonblacks tire of hearing and seeing this, then it won’t be on TV anymore. And the disorganized, impotent AA collective will sink back into erasure, invisibility and total irrelevance. And if you’re caught up with that mess, you’ll sink back into erasure, invisibility and total irrelevance right along with them.

The wisest move would be to do what Evia said: —“keep moving forward. DO not look in any direction but FORWARD. Do not pause to look to the side or back. Keep looking 24-7 for your avenue of escape.”—

Ladies, as Evia said, keep moving forward. Take hold of the opportunities that are available to you, and don't look back. Your quality of life depends on it.
Addendum. For links to various BWE and BW-centric writers discussing the folly and downright madness of AA women taking up the burden of addressing BM victimhood, see the links provided in THIS post.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

African-American Women: Here's Some Of The Fruit That You've Earned With Your Knee-Jerk, Rabid Support of “12 Years a Slave,” Part 5

My thanks to the former blog reader who directed my attention to this most recent bit of bitter fruit that African-Americans (AA women in particular) have earned with our knee-jerk, rabid support of 12 Years a Slave. Here's wishing a Happy Thanksgiving to all the readers! This long Thanksgiving weekend is a good time to ponder some things.

I'm keeping a running tab, this is Part 5 of this series. Let's review: 

I'm keeping a running tab of these bitter fruits because a lot of AAs like to play games when these issues come up. Too many of us pretend to have amnesia and choose to be “perpetually surprised” about the extremely predictable consequences of our choices.

A lot of y'all got mad when I originally questioned your knee-jerk, rabid, UN-reciprocated crusades in support of 12 Years a Slave.

I'm rubbing your noses in this mess because too many of y'all got belligerent when those of us who saw this type of thing coming questioned your knee-jerk caping in support of 12 Years a Slave.

I want you to remember these bitter fruits the next time you get the urge to throw on your Superwoman cape in support of random Black-skinned (or random Black-ish) faces.

I want you to think twice before caping for anybody or anything.

I want you to learn to ask simple preliminary questions, such as:

(1) What's in it for me and African-American women like me to support this?

(2) Who benefits from this [movie, TV show, record deal, etc.]?

(3) Who benefits the most from this [movie, TV show, record deal, etc.]?

Well, let's see . . .

So far, there's the Vanity Fair magazine cover I discussed HERE. There's the growing bad feeling some of y'all are belatedly experiencing that I discussed HERE. There's the casting of two foreign Black performers as Dr. King and Coretta Scott King in an upcoming biopic about Dr. King that I discussed HERE.

I also mentioned this: Lupita Nyong'o joins 'Star Wars' cast. Your unsolicited caping in support of 12 Years a Slave has worked out VERY well for the foreign Blacks who are reaping the lion's share of the material and career benefits from that movie. Meanwhile, you and AA actresses are still empty-handed.

Thirty-four (34) years ago, the first negro male actor was cast in the Star Wars franchise (Billy Dee Williams). The second negro male actor was cast in the Star Wars franchise in 2005 (Samuel Jackson).

And now that the first BW will appear in the American Star Wars movie franchise, your unsolicited caping for 12 Years a Slave has helped a foreign BW become that first (and most likely last) BW cast to appear in Star Wars. Full article HERE.

And now there's THIS from West Indian-British director Steve McQueen:

"HBO has given a pilot order to a drama from “12 Years a Slave” helmer Steve McQueen and scribe Matthew Michael Carnahan.

“Codes of Conduct” revolves around a young African-American man who enters New York high society but his past may not be what it seems. The project will be toplined by Devon Terrell (pictured), a Long Beach native who grew up in Perth, Australia where he has studied acting and recently attended the prestigious National Institute of Dramatic Art."

Please note that this actor who has been cast to play "a young African-American man" is apparently yet another biracial with a nonblack mother: "Devon was born in Long Beach, California to Anglo-Indian and African-American parents. Moving to Perth at an early age Devon was brought up in a sports-based lifestyle developing a natural drive and passion for basketball, but that was not all he was limited to." Sounds like his mother is probably ethnically East Indian and/or Pakistani.

Check out THIS post (partially quoted below) about how the casting for that part in McQueen's project was conducted:
So parskis brought to my attention this conversation going on about the Steve McQueen HBO series auditions and the casting of a very lightskinned Australian in the lead role on karnythia's twitter. Those of you who were following me like two months ago when the open call went down know I was there that day.
I was in line for several hours and didn’t even get within a block of the door, but there were people who were there for twelve hours or more. Sometime before I had to leave for work, one of the dudes next to me in line started getting updates from a friend of his who was inside. He had been there since 8 AM and had just gotten inside. He told his friend that they were sending all but the prettiest darkskinned dudes home and aside from those prettiest dudes, the only people seeing the casting directors were lightskinned.
It’s fucked up that this is accepted practice in the industry and it’s fucked up that our own filmmakers, once they’ve made it, are perpetuating it.
wow, what the fuck
Not at ALL surprised.

Just like Ava Duvernay got a Black Brit playing Dr. King.

Couldn’t find a Black American actor for nothing.
Right. So Steve McQueen is using the career boost he got from YOUR knee-jerk, rabid, unreciprocated support of 12 Years a Slave to make MORE projects about African-Americans. All while discriminating against Black African-American performers. And while engaging in colorism.

As I mentioned in an EARLIER POST, a lot of these various others that you cape for (BM in general, foreign Blacks, Latinos, other so-called people of color, cross-dressing/transgender men, etc.) disrespect, demean and hate you in large part because you cape for them. Oh, for example, such as the sexism faced by the idiotic mammy mules who are protesting (read = muling and caping) in support of Black males in Ferguson. The extreme folly involved in this particular caping episode has been discussed by various BWE and BW-centric bloggers; links are provided in THIS post.

The pattern is consistent: people generally only respect people who DON’T and WON’T cape for them.

Straight African-American Black women, stop caping in general. Please just stop caping.