Thursday, February 19, 2009

BF POW's Vow: "I Will Use Every Available 'Paper Clip' to Escape."

Most African-American Women Are Actually Prisoners of War in Open-Air Prison Camps That Were Formerly Known as "Black Communities"

Most AA women are actually POWs in the open-air prison camps that are Black residential areas. We don't tell the truth about what Black residential areas have become. We like to pretend that these places are still Black "communities." They are not. As I said in Part 1 of All Colored People That Want to Go to Kansas, On 9/5/1877, Can Do So for $5.00:

"To use secular terms, what used to be 'the Black community' has devolved far beyond the point of no return. To use one of my Christian best friend's terms, Black residential areas are filled with Satanic strongholds. Strongholds that are NOT being pulled down anytime soon. In fact, most of the residents have (at minimum) a passive investment in current conditions remaining as they are. Many of us have a passive investment in supporting the behaviors that support these evil strongholds. Maybe I should list some "passive investment" examples that my friend has mentioned (she's a Protestant minister from New Orleans).

There is the widespread acceptance of the sexual exploitation of underage Black girls. There is the widespread acceptance of illegitimacy. There is the widespread acceptance of obscene and self-degrading "music." There is the fake religiosity that only gets excited about condemning the activities that we have no interest in participating in, such as foaming at the mouth about the gays. I can't count the numbers of shacked-up baby mammas/daddies I've heard who loooove to rant about gay people. They usually get very quiet when I bring up the fact that they are shacked up with illegitimate children.

In short, Black people have turned Black residential areas into 'sundown towns' where one must be behind locks and gates by sundown. The greatest danger to any individual Black person's life is often to be found inside Black residential areas." http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2008/11/all-colored-people-that-want-to-go-to.html

In terms of working AA women, I challenge anyone to tell me exactly how our collective quality of life is substantially different from that of our enslaved foremothers.

For most of us, there is never enough of what we need, let alone any abundance in our lives.

For most of us, there are no men protecting or providing for us and our children.

For most of us, there is no true fellowship. Instead there is plenty of misery that loves company.

I Know That Many of You Are Exhausted

Sometimes, there's a communication gap between those who are preaching uplift to AA women and many audience members. Many of the "preachers" have never experienced the complete and utter exhaustion that some audience members are living with.

For example, I know that many of you read the Wildest Dreams Check-Ins and think to yourselves, "Good God Almighty. . . This chick is working out 6 days a week. I. Can't. Do. All. Of. That." I know that many of you read comments from other readers describing their various efforts, and you have the same reaction.

I know.

I understand.

I've felt the same way in the past.

That "I just can't contemplate doing anything more, or anything different" feeling is how I felt when going through the experiences surrounding my aunt's illness that I described during the Part 1 of the True Fellowship series. http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2008/10/true-fellowship-is-best-quality-of-life.html

I DO understand; but you are going to have to press on. Help is NOT on the way. If you don't keep moving forward, even with small steps, you won't make it. It's just that simple.

The Prisoner And The Paper Clip

One day years ago at work, I was walking along behind the correctional officers that were taking one of my clients back to the lock-up after court. I needed to talk to her in the client interview room. [I always follow guards and prisoner-clients from a distance of at least 5 feet behind because I don't want to get caught up in any physical drama that might erupt. When I first started doing defense work, I was shocked to have clients tackled to the ground by law enforcement while they were standing right next to me. This has happened more than once.]

My front-handcuffed client appeared to stumble and fall to the ground; and sure enough, the female correctional officers were all over her in a split second. Well, it turned out that the client had seen and tried to covertly pick up a paper clip that was on the ground. They forcibly snatched the paper clip out of her hand.

I was amazed on several levels.

I was amazed that the prisoner-client was carefully, and covertly, scanning the ground looking for items that might be useful. Even something as small as a paper clip.

I was amazed that she had the presence of mind to instantly come up with a ruse to try to get that paper clip.

I was amazed that the correctional officers were carefully watching all of this while seeming to be engrossed among themselves in a tv-related conversation.

Any AA woman who wants to escape, survive, and thrive is going to have to be at least as enterprising at that particular prisoner-client.

Are you willing to remain on the lookout for ANYTHING, no matter how small, that might help you escape, survive, and thrive?

Are you willing to take some steps, even small ones, to escape unsatisfactory circumstances?

Are you willing to immediately reach for ANY opportunities that might come across your path?

21 comments:

Nia said...

I got out of my "black community" and thank Allah for that. :) I now work two jobs and a career in Los Angeles, CA. I just wanted to co-sign your blog. One AA Muslim woman to another.

DeStouet said...

While I am normally very vocal and open about my experiences, I am choosing to keep some things to myself concerning this discussion. Although, I will say a few things.

As a child I desired nothing more than to be rid of the (to use your best friend's term) Satanic strongholds that had a hold of the minds of many of the people closest to me.

(I remember when I was about 17 years old, I went downtown during rush hour and had lunch (a salad) at a very upscale restaurant in downtown Philadelphia. The entire time I was eating, I was looking at all of the people that came in for lunch and knew that I deserved to sit in such a place and walk with that "air" that each person who walked in brought with them.)

I have used EVERY tool made available to me in order to free myself from the kind of life I was born into. As you mentioned, I was always on the lookout for ways to elevate my situation.

One of the things I can remember was, when I was about 11, one of the staff members of a shelter I was living in at the time, pulling me to the side and telling me that it was in my best interest to learn how to deal with my anger. Because if I didn't do so, in the future, I would become a prime candidate for some kind of boot camp for teens. She also told me everything I did was being written down and would eventually be used against me. I was NOT going to ever be allowed to "just get angry" like a normal child and have it considered "just a phase".

From that day on, I did a lot of screaming in pillows, writing hate letters to people but never mailing them, etc. Although there were time when I did get angry.

Another person taught me that many of the "best" group homes that were located in the suburbs, on ranches, etc. interviewed children. They were looking for the "best" fit. I learned quickly to be neat, and dress presentable during those interviews. I smiled a lot. I tried to be as articulate as possible. I sat up tall. And most importantly, there were NOT a lot of strikes on my record.

Another thing I did was once I got pregnant with my oldest daughter, I called my old social worker and told him I wanted to be put back into the system. (I was given to my father about 6 months before. SMH)

They found me a foster mother who was willing to care for me and my daughter.

From there, I went into S.I.L. (Supervised Independent Living)and when I was looking for an apartment, my social worker told me as long as I kept it under 450.00, they would pay for it.

The apartment that I wanted was in a mixed neighborhood. Most of the other places that were within the 450.00 price range were either directly in the ghetto, or, right outside of the ghetto. But this was a working class neighborhood where whites, hispanics, Koreans, and black all lived. At that time, it was much better than ALL of the other apartments I had looked at. The problem was that the land lord was charging 550.00.

So I told him about the program I was in and "mentioned" that the rent was guaranteed. Turns out, this guy had several apartments that he was in the process of fixing up and renting out. I told him that if he was willing to drop the rent by 100.00, I would give him the name of the agency I was with because there were other young women who were looking for apartments.

Needless to say it all worked out for me and him as well. He was able to rent out all of his apartments, and I was able to live in a neighborhood that was about 2steps up from living directly in the ghetto.

I can go on and on because I am ALWAYS looking for a way to elevate to the next level in my life.

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Greetings, Khadija!

{waves}

Thank you so much for sharing this! When I had a discussion at my blog about the annhiliation of black men, I realized that scores of black women could not accept that black men were vanishing rapidly.

I loved it when you said in that conversation, "Toby is not coming back"!! True.

The reason why so many black women do not plan to escape the all-black construct is because they feel that they BELONG among the demonic element that has taken over that construct. If you feel you belong to a particular construct then your identity is tied to that and you will not detach yourself.

The first step is changing identification with that construct. It will involve the decision: "I do not belong here and I will never belong here."

You said:
"Sometimes, there's a communication gap between those who are preaching uplift to AA women and many audience members. Many of the 'preachers' have never experienced the complete and utter exhaustion that some audience members are living with."

{raised arm in the air}

I have never encountered what many women who are in conversations at my blog have encountered. I often use the words "many women I have spoken to" and "many women I have encountered". I don't have a personal history of being subjugated by black men or abandoned by black men. I can augment the stories of other women but THAT is not my own story.

Like you, Khadija, I want to create an open environment at my blog where women can share their stories openly - without white people butting in with their Black 101 questions and without black men butting in with condescension and denial.

We MUST continue to blow the trumpet!

Scores of black people did not heed the warnings before Katrina devastated the entire landscape. We are now telling women to flee now. I hope that they will break out of the Katrina-wait-and-see mentality and begin to use every available route and strategy to run free.

I have said this at my blog forum and I will say it here to:
Run, sista, run!

There are black women who think other black women will come and rescue them. I will not do that. I will point to the life raft but you MUST jump in and escape. I will not dive in and get you. This may seem harsh but we need to let black women know that if they do not escape, they will PERISH.

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Lisa

Khadija said...

Greetings, Nia!

Thank you for your kind words about the blog. I truly appreciate it. You said, "I just wanted to co-sign your blog."

Be careful with that---I have a way of annoying and offending even those audience members who are regular readers! LOL!
________________

Greetings, DeStouet!

I praise God that you escaped. And I love your story about the landlord---I love win/win stories! {raised fist salute}
_________________

Greetings, Lisa!

As you said during the discussion in response to your Annihilation of Black Men post, many BW are in denial about the fact that BM are vanishing.

{shameless plug for Rev. Lisa's blog, Black Women, Blow The Trumpet!. It's listed on my blogroll}

During that conversation, I mentioned my belief that Black men are, for all practical purposes, already LONG GONE from AA communal life. The children and the Black male scavengers remain among us. But actual Black "men"? NO.

These BM scavengers have a significant, and negative, impact on Black communal life. But the purported "good" BM currently have ZERO impact on Black communal life. There are just numerically too few of such "good" BM who actually function as protectors and providers. They are vastly outnumbered by the scavengers. So, in effect, these BM who matter (in a good way) are already gone.

About the "Toby" reference: I've read another blogger compare the situation to Black female slaves holding out hope for the eventual return of a BM slave that was sold away years before. [I think it was Sara of Interracial Love and Spice...by Sara who made that comparison.]

Unfortunately, BW are indocrinated to hitch their fates to "Toby;" and Toby's GONE!

Or let's call him "Freddy" from the Superfly soundtrack:

{to the tune of Curtis Mayfield's song "Freddy's Dead" from the soundtrack to Superfly}

{"Freddy's dead, that's what I said..."}

NOW, I see that some BW are using the Obama-ssiah's election as yet another reason to "wait and see" if Toby/Freddy comes back! Lord have mercy.

You raised your hand when I mentioned the communication and/or experiece gap between some of us who are "preaching" BW's uplift and some audience members. Well, I'm raising my hand as well. Sometimes, I've had the same gap with some audience members because I have NOT had the particular experience under discussion.

What everybody needs to focus on is the MESSAGE. And not let whether or not the "preacher" sounds as if she has had that exact same life experience interfere with taking whatever is useful from the message. As Evia says, folks need to "take what is useful and trash the rest."

I believe the flip side of this is for "preachers" to do their best to be sensitive about the possible impact of life experiences that we have not had. By "sensitivity" I mean awareness of how those experiences might hinder some audience members from understanding a message in the spirit in which it was meant.

I DON'T mean being sensitive in the "pity party" sense. Time OUT on pity parties! I mean in trying to calibrate the message so that it is more comprehensible to those who are most affected by the discussion topic.

You said, "Like you, Khadija, I want to create an open environment at my blog where women can share their stories openly - without white people butting in with their Black 101 questions and without black men butting in with condescension and denial."

I can't stand that sort of disruption either. Our blogs are not gossip blogs. We're trying to literally save BW's lives.

You said, "Scores of black people did not heed the warnings before Katrina devastated the entire landscape. We are now telling women to flee now. I hope that they will break out of the Katrina-wait-and-see mentality and begin to use every available route and strategy to run free.

I have said this at my blog forum and I will say it here to:
Run, sista, run!"


I co-sign 100%.

You said, "There are black women who think other black women will come and rescue them. I will not do that. I will point to the life raft but you MUST jump in and escape. I will not dive in and get you. This may seem harsh but we need to let black women know that if they do not escape, they will PERISH."

Again, I co-sign 100%. I don't (and WON'T) rescue other adults! I'll cooperate and paddle along with people who are paddling WITH me. But I'm not rescuing grown folks.

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

Khadija said...

Lisa,

I forgot to mention:

You said, "The reason why so many black women do not plan to escape the all-black construct is because they feel that they BELONG among the demonic element that has taken over that construct."

THIS is another critical point. Most AAs folks are in total denial of the fact that a demonic element has taken over the all-Black construct in this country. This denial is why so many of us are shocked and offended by calls to evacuate Black residential areas.

Folks can't deny the very real and ESCALATING atrocities and murders that are taking place in these areas. So, instead they either: (1) try to pretend that conditions are equally bad all over; (2) pretend that the danger caused racism in other places will be equal to or greater than the danger in Black areas; (3) try to guilt trip BW into "staying to help."

What I find especially galling is that people try to guilt trip BW into staying in these death-camps as UNARMED sitting ducks. [The vast majority of the "stay and help" crowd is anti-guns.]

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

Sister Seeking/Miriam/MaryAnn said...

@DeStouet

I'm glad everything worked out so well for you! That's awesome.

@ Khadija

" I will TOTALLY use EVERY paper clip to escape"

WORD!

roslynholcomb said...

As an adult I've never lived in an all-black neighborhood. I've blogged about the sexual predatory males that roamed the neighborhood I grew up in, running 'trains' on the young women there. People talk all the time about black women not getting enough exercise, but I recall the way women would be sexually harassed for something as simple as taking a walk.

There was an incident in Huntsville, AL (yeah, I'm calling them out by name) shortly after my son was born in the spring 2004. I lived in a very pleasant neighborhood there. It was majority white with a few people of other races there as well. I walked there frequently, and saw other women jogging in shorts and bra tops, unmolested, all the time. No one ever said anything more than a pleasant good morning.

Anyway, one day I had my infant son in his stroller and we were going for a walk. I heard a vehicle pull up and waited for it to pass. Suddenly I heard these 'men' talking out from under my clothes using vulgar language. (Not that it matters, but I was very modestly dressed in capris and one of my husband's oversized t-shirts). They were black, and get this, in a CITY TRUCK. Meaning they were sexually harassing a tax payer who was paying their salary. Yep, I memorized the number on that truck and made sure I got a good description of both men. I rushed back to my house and called the city RIGHT THEN. I was absolutely furious and was not about to tolerate them polluting my neighborhood. You just know that they felt it was okay to assault me because I was black, but you couldn't have paid them to do the same to a white woman.

Eventually I received a letter from the city assuring me that they'd been disciplined for their behavior. We have to stand firm because no matter where we go, even outside of black communities, if they see us there they will try to do the same thing. We can't let them get away with it, or before long they'll overrun our escape routes as well.

Tam said...

Khadija:

You said:

Folks can't deny the very real and ESCALATING atrocities and murders that are taking place in these areas. So, instead they either: (1) try to pretend that conditions are equally bad all over; (2) pretend that the danger caused racism in other places will be equal to or greater than the danger in Black areas; (3) try to guilt trip BW into "staying to help."

I have heard all three of those excuses used to keep my family in the "hood" I left the hood a few years ago and would constantly sing the praises of being able to walk at night if I so choose, maybe even alone. I would talk about how my neighbors respected me by not blaring loud music. How they would not be shooting dice in their drive way, how they don't turn on the water hydrant on a warm day, how mothers and daughters don't fight over dating the same man, how they don't drive a car into an enemies' home (yes, it all happened). Then I'm met with blank stares and the inevitable chorus of don't be too happy you just might have to come back. That is one of the most hateful lines I've heard. Why is it people, family especially seems to always want you to be as miserable as they are?

That Black Community stuff is total BS. It is a mind controlling phrase. It it used to control the thinking of people so that they will never leave. Also, another mind controlling phrase is "giving back". "Community Activist" are always saying we need to give back. Give back to what?

I left and have no plans of looking back. I always say I will never return because I will do anything possible to fight my way out of returning to that jungle.

Khadija said...

Greetings, SisterSeeking/Miriam!

Now that's what I'm talking about!
_____________________

Greetings, Roslyn!

You said, "We have to stand firm because no matter where we go, even outside of black communities, if they see us there they will try to do the same thing. We can't let them get away with it, or before long they'll overrun our escape routes as well."

This is an extremely important point. And it reminds me of something that Felicia said in another context: We have to be willing to bring WHITE HEAT (the full weight of the White law enforcement/court system) down on these miscreants IF we want to be safe from their predations!

This thought stayed with me because I had never heard it expressed so bluntly. We usually hem and haw around that kind of harsh reality. It would be nice if all of that (and the historical emotional baggage attached to it) wasn't necessary. But, in our hearts, we know that it IS necessary for our safety.

The harsh reality is that AAs CANNOT be trusted to stamp out and punish this sort of predatory behavior. Instead, most of us will look for ways to coddle BM predators of all kinds. Be they violent beasts like Chris Brown, Mike Tyson, etc., or child molesters like Ar-ruh Kelly.

And yes, if we don't stop these predators, they will chase us into our places of refuge.
_______________________

Greetings, Tam!

As with most issues, I believe that there are several different layers and things going on with this topic.

On the one hand, there's nothing wrong with wanting to have healthy and strong ethnic communities like other people have.

I really miss my childhood all-Black middle-class neighborhood. The way it was when I was growing up. The way it was before the Section 8 element invaded the area.
Even though where I live now is mixed (and not all-White), and I participate in Black-oriented events & gatherings, I deeply miss "Big Mama's house."

This is part of why I'm so furious with the element. They murdered something that was precious to me. Something that can't really be replaced. The replacement neighborhood in the suburbs has its own (different) charms. It just doesn't have the same emotional resonance to me as my childhood neighborhood.

[It's similar to the way many of us felt about ice cream when we were small children. The ice cream from the refrigerator at home just wasn't the same or as satisfying as the ice cream from the Good Humor ice cream truck. {sigh}]

On the other hand, AAs are unwilling to take the measures that would be needed to restore our areas to safety and sanity: Hiring private, ARMED security; taking up legal arms ourselves, calling down the full weight of "White heat" on Black criminals, etc.

THIS unwillingness to face reality is what makes the "stay and help" slogan so evil at this point. Without a willingness to take realistic measures, this slogan amounts to calling for human sacrifice.


But the above situation is just one of many motives for the "stay and help" slogan. There are some other motives. Evil ones.

Such as the "misery loves company" situation that you mentioned when you said: "...Then I'm met with blank stares and the inevitable chorus of don't be too happy you just might have to come back. That is one of the most hateful lines I've heard. Why is it people, family especially seems to always want you to be as miserable as they are?"

To answer your question, often the people nearest to you don't like to see you escape because you are proof that it CAN be done. Your escape makes it harder for them to justify why they haven't done any better with themselves. Your escape means that they no longer have viable excuses for their own failures and laziness. Often all of this is part of the "misery loves company" mix.

A common fallback belief is that you were the beneficiary of a "lucky break" or you somehow "had connections," or somebody else "hooked you up," etc. To them, it CAN'T be that you worked for what you have.

And, of course, many of them are hoping for you to stumble and fall.

It's a sickening, yet common, mentality among us.

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

ActsofFaithBlog said...

Hmm I'm glad you mentioned the perspective of the woman hearing the empowerment message. You know hearing all the right things doesn't mean we're always ready to apply it immediately. It's like learning a new language: it requires total immersion. Also there are so few places where there's this "call to arms" it doesn't seem real.

I use analogies from the Matrix a lot but it is so applicable. And it was written by a Black woman who had her ideas stolen! There's a few "freedom fighters" out there trying to peel away the few dissenters from the collective. They wanted to free a mind.

In response to your questions. Yes. Yes. and Yes! I am clearing out space and putting things in storage so I can be prepared to leave. I'm going to meet with some of the business contacts I met at the conference I attended and should anything pan out I am moving.

The hardest part for me was taking that first step after thinking about it incessantly...and in keeping momentum but I am now moving along quite nicely. The thing is you don't have to have it all figured out per se or be in a "better place" to make changes.

I think about how choices have brought us to where we are in our lives. Things aren't always fair and some of us have to deal with continuing from a place where we had the short end of the to begin with. That doesn't always inspire a positive attitude.

I also wonder if the term "running away" is even applicable when it's an attempt at escaping.

Khadija said...

Here's a bit of today's local news from the Chicago Sun-Times. This is what "the element" has done to an area nearby my childhood neighborhood:

Three teenagers — including a 13-year-old — were killed this afternoon in a shooting on the Southeast Side.

The 13-year-old, Johnny Edwards, was remembered Friday evening by family and neighbors as a helpful boy who played in after-school sports programs and loved math and science.

“He was humble,’’ his uncle John Johnson said. “He showed respect. He helped his brothers, his sisters and cousins with their homework. He liked to help people.’’

Johnny was a seventh grader at Arnold Mireles Academy. He would have turned 14 on Monday.

The two other teens, boys aged 15 and 17, attended school at Bowen High School, school officials said.

Emergency personnel first responded to the shooting at 3 p.m. in an alley along 87th Street between Escanaba and Exchange, according to Chicago Fire Department officials.

But witnesses said the three victims were shot in different locations: one just south of 87th on Exchange, a second at 87th and Escanaba and a third a few doors down from there.

Supt. Jody Weis, who was on the scene after the shootings, said the teens were attacked by more than one shooter.

“It appears they were attacked by several individuals, one of which had an assault rifle,” Weis said at a news conference.

Johnny Edwards was taken to University of Chicago Comer Children’s Hospital, where he was pronounced dead.

A witness, who asked not to be named, said two young men ran past him headed east on 87th near Commercial and started shooting. One of the men had what appeared to be an automatic weapon. The witness saw two of the teens being shot. The shooters then ran north through an alley.

The witness said the area is plagued by gang violence.

Cameras from the neighborhood were being reviewed by detectives, and specialized department teams were sent to the neighborhood in the wake of the shootings.

The shootings occurred less than a block from Immaculate Conception School at 8739 South Exchange. The elementary school began dismissing students at 2:45 p.m.

A secretary from the school said they heard gunshots and called police. School officials kept the students who were still on school grounds inside the building."
_______________________

{seething}

Khadija said...

Greetings, Faith!

I'm so happy to hear that you're escaping! Alhamdulilah! [Praise God!] {raised fist salute}

You're right about the Matrix analogy. I know that this has been a Matrix-level paradigm shift for me. The Dunbar Village Atrocity and its aftermath showed me that I had been grossly mistaken about the current nature of the AA collective.

It's a huge paradigm shift from interpreting the situation as "running away/abandoning folks" to understanding that we are ESCAPING in order to SAVE OUR LIVES.

If I hadn't found out about Dunbar Village AND the horrifically inappropriate responses to it from our Civil Rights Industrial Complex, I would probably still be in the Matrix.

THAT whole episode is what first opened my eyes. What completed the process was a particularly disturbing conversation I participated in on a Black Love/Black Unity blog.

In the face of these atrocities, as well as the AA majority bastard child rate, most of the BM in that conversation were blandly repeating stock platitudes about "Black love."

I couldn't believe what I was reading from some of these relative-to-the-masses "conscious" Black folks. How do you engage in "business as usual" when Rwanda-level, DEATH-CAMP level atrocities are beginning to occur among your people?!

That discussion convinced me that BW and girls are in GRAVE danger among the AA collective. And that I needed to do my part to encourage as many BW as possible to save themselves.

And you're also correct about audience reactions. It's totally unrealistic to expect many women to get this on the first "bounce." BW are inundated with "stay the [sinking] course" messages from all angles.

Another factor is that I know for me it was REALLY SCARY to acknowledge how far gone things have gotten with our people. Acknowledging these harsh realities means letting go of the false comfort of blind "faith" that "things will work out" for us.

So, I see it as a matter of encouraging BW to save themselves---one life at a time.

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

Evia said...

That discussion convinced me that BW and girls are in GRAVE danger among the AA collective. And that I needed to do my part to encourage as many BW as possible to save themselves.

Khadija, the more I think about this issue of AA women fleeing the black collective hellholes physically, the more I realize that it's equally or MOSTLY a SPIRITUAL flight they need to make.

I remember that a minister from the NOI (after the million man march) pointed out that the biggest problem faced by AAs is one of spiritual (NOT religious) sickness and death. He said that this one overlooked reason drives MOST of the dysfunction in the AA communities. He explained that AAs have more than enough money, education, skills, etc. to do whatever, but spiritually, they're bankrupt.

I constantly notice how so many AAs who go to church are so spiritually dead. They know tons of religious doctrine, but their spiritual light is very low or totally out. This is why many black ministers have to put the congregation through all kinds of feelgood contortions during the service on Sundays--to whip up some spirit in the congregation, and maybe this is why some AAs don't mind staying in church for 3 hours. LOL! I've noticed that it takes the first 2 hours of the 3-hour service for the congregation to become stimulated. I've noticed more and more antics used to make folks feelgood or feel alive. For ex. we're commanded to look at other church attendees (strangers sometimes) on any given Sunday, and say "I love you,"; we're told to say something nice to each other; we have to hug each other. There's loud, throbbing music. The minister has to dance sometimes and tell jokes. There is flag-waving and sometimes other types of performances to make the congregation come to life, on and on.

Anyway, this spiritual aspect is key because if this is not factored in, these women are still blocked in critical ways. As the saying goes: "the body is the last to go," so there are lots of zombies. Therefore, one major reason so many AA women are not fleeing with all of their might--despite this clear logic of doing so--is because they're either already spiritually dead or their spiritual light is almost out. The poison has paralyzed them.

I may sound like a minister with this, but FAITH (the belief in things that are yet unseen) is a critical factor in success.

AA women must realize that if they mobilize all of their emotional, mental, physical, financial, and SPIRITUAL resources, they will be able to flee, however every day that they remain in those demonic hellholes, they're being poisoned a little bit more. More complacency seeps into them. (That's the poison.) Some of them will talk themselves out of fleeing. (That's the poison.) MOST won't see the urgency and many won't even see the necessity because they're being lulled to stay in place by others in the hellhole. (That's how social poison works.)

Then, some of the women who are beginning to understand that they must flee can't figure out where to go or how to get there. (Poison in overdrive.)

This tells me just how how malignant this situation is. For ex. if someone is shooting at these women, they would know how to get away and FAST because they clearly understand the impact of a bullet. They wouldn't be looking for the IDEAL place to go or an ideal way to get there, or and ideal time to leave however, in this case the poison has affected their mental faculties. So they move slowly because MOST of them don't recognize all of the little ways the poison impacts them and their children. Thus, I get questions from women asking me WHERE should they go and HOW should they get there and WHEN should they leave. They press me to give them the details for every step. I don't normally respond to those notes because I know what that's all about.

As usual, I approach this issue from the vantage point of an AA woman who straddles 3 cultures. I draw on all of the exposure and experiences I've had in these 3 cultures when I approacn ANY situation--good or bad. I realize that some aspects of the behavior of continental Africans is a sore spot for you, Khadija, and I respect that, but in this case I want to share something that may shed another perspective on this idea of bw fleeing hellhole-type lives.

Droves of West African Women are marrying European men and many more would if they could BECAUSE these women realize the POTENTIAL advantages this type of union provides them and their offspring. I know some of these women and they're doing very well. (I'm going to talk about 2 of them in my next essay.) Many Asian women do this too--for the same reason. Asian women can write the book on marrying for advantages. Many Russian and eastern European women are marrying American white men and AA men for the same reasons, but let's keep the focus on bw for this discussion. Women have always done this. What enables or makes it easier for all 3 groups of women to do this, in this case, is that they don't demonize white people.

I'm sure you realize that Continental Africans don't demonize whites meaning that they don't normally distrust or dislike white people, therefore if mingling with whites can provide them with an advantage, they are EAGER to grab onto it. Due to the different experiences that AAs have had with whites, many AAs are unable to do this.

SOME AA women are allowing historical reasons to hamper them when it comes to mating with non-bm compared to continental African women. This presents a wonderful opportunity for continental African women who have come to this country, looking to advance themselves in ALL ways. Since the social taboo against bw-wm relationships and marriages in the U.S. has relaxed, many of these women are greatly taking advantage of these opportunities to elevate themselves (via marriage to wm) while many AA women are still reluctant to mate across racial lines. So the word is getting out NOW among wm that continental African women present ***less issues***when it comes to IR dating and marriage than AA women, and ALL men prefer friendly, more easily won women. I'm just pointing this out because many AA women--presently stewing in their anger at ALL wm--will, in the future, be angry at African women for being in an elevated position that their marriages has afforded them (just like me) when these AA women could have done the same thing.


However, we can see that in the case of AA men, the fact that many ww were historically responsible for many of the hangings, beatings, and other foul mistreatment of AA males has not stopped these males from EAGERLY mating, marrying, and enriching ww when these males have gotten the chance.

Why is it that AA females tend to be the ONLY/largest group of individuals in this country that cannot put the knowledge and history of white misdeeds in perspective (NOT saying "forget") and EAGERLY take advantage of what the present offers? Some AA women "claim" that they can't mate with a wm because of what wm did to bw during slavery, but how "real" is this claim? What's really behind that? If that is "real," then why doesn't that stop AA males from marrying ww?

Khadija said...

Greetings, Evia!

You said, "I remember that a minister from the NOI (after the million man march) pointed out that the biggest problem faced by AAs is one of spiritual (NOT religious) sickness and death. He said that this one overlooked reason drives MOST of the dysfunction in the AA communities. He explained that AAs have more than enough money, education, skills, etc. to do whatever, but spiritually, they're bankrupt."

He's right. AAs have all of the material tools for advancement right at our fingertiips.

You said, "I constantly notice how so many AAs who go to church are so spiritually dead. They know tons of religious doctrine, but their spiritual light is very low or totally out. This is why many black ministers have to put the congregation through all kinds of feelgood contortions during the service on Sundays--to whip up some spirit in the congregation, and maybe this is why some AAs don't mind staying in church for 3 hours. LOL! I've noticed that it takes the first 2 hours of the 3-hour service for the congregation to become stimulated. I've noticed more and more antics used to make folks feelgood or feel alive."

Lord have mercy. I never thought about it like that. You're right. The bulk of our people are among the undead.

But here's another angle that I've mentioned to Rev. Lisa: Whatever is wrong with Black Christians, is multiplied by a factor of at least 100 with Sunni ("Orthodox"), non-Nation of Islam, Black Muslims.

[*Note to audience members who haven't read my earlier posts about AA Islam: I am NOT, and have never been, a member of the Nation of Islam. I am a Sunni Muslim. My critique of this "denomination" is coming from within, not from the outside.]

At least Black Christians are passive zombies who remain in their crypts. "Orthodox" Black Muslims are active, militant, often violent zombies who are on the march!

You said, "I may sound like a minister with this, but FAITH (the belief in things that are yet unseen) is a critical factor in success."

I realized shortly after I started blogging that those of us who are preaching empowerment for BW really ARE preaching. Whether that was our original intention or not. BW empowerment blogs really ARE ministries; whether we conceive of the situation in those precise terms or not. As I have noted in other discussions, this really IS spiritual warfare that we are engaged in!

You said, "I realize that some aspects of the behavior of continental Africans is a sore spot for you, Khadija, and I respect that, but in this case I want to share something that may shed another perspective on this idea of bw fleeing hellhole-type lives."

{chuckling} I have a sore spot about ANY individual from ANY culture or ethnicity who wants to move their bowels on my ethnic group. Across the board. LOL! But, I digress...{more chuckling}

You said, "Droves of West African Women are marrying European men and many more would if they could BECAUSE these women realize the POTENTIAL advantages this type of union provides them and their offspring. I know some of these women and they're doing very well. (I'm going to talk about 2 of them in my next essay.) Many Asian women do this too--for the same reason. Asian women can write the book on marrying for advantages. Many Russian and eastern European women are marrying American white men and AA men for the same reasons, but let's keep the focus on bw for this discussion. Women have always done this. What enables or makes it easier for all 3 groups of women to do this, in this case, is that they don't demonize white people."

I wasn't aware that African women were making that move, but I had noticed that Asian women are SERIOUS about having ADVANTAGEOUS marriages. Thank you for directing our attention to these "coming attractions." AA women can learn a LOT from these other women. We NEED to learn how to "do like them." And quickly.

AA women can't afford to continue to be "a day late and a dollar short."


You said, "So the word is getting out NOW among wm that continental African women present ***less issues***when it comes to IR dating and marriage than AA women, and ALL men prefer friendly, more easily won women. I'm just pointing this out because many AA women--presently stewing in their anger at ALL wm--will, in the future, be angry at African women for being in an elevated position that their marriages has afforded them (just like me) when these AA women could have done the same thing."

Note to audience: Evia is telling you something really important here. Wake up, ladies. The last flights out of "Saigon" are happening right now. You need to make your way to a seat on one of these planes!

You said, "However, we can see that in the case of AA men, the fact that many ww were historically responsible for many of the hangings, beatings, and other foul mistreatment of AA males has not stopped these males from EAGERLY mating, marrying, and enriching ww when these males have gotten the chance."

Yep. And they will proudly tell BW that "people are people" and that "they don't see color when choosing a woman." The not seeing color bit is a lie, but the point is that BM do whatever works for THEM as individuals.

You said, "Why is it that AA females tend to be the ONLY/largest group of individuals in this country that cannot put the knowledge and history of white misdeeds in perspective (NOT saying "forget") and EAGERLY take advantage of what the present offers? Some AA women "claim" that they can't mate with a wm because of what wm did to bw during slavery, but how "real" is this claim? What's really behind that? If that is "real," then why doesn't that stop AA males from marrying ww?"

As you pointed out earlier, this is a result of the social & spiritual poison being administered in all-Black social settings. It's another manifestation of the effects of poison just like the stalling tactic questions you mentioned["...WHERE should they go and HOW should they get there and WHEN should they leave."].

Sometimes, looking at how thoroughly most AA women have been brainwashed is daunting. But, I press on with this message. The literal DEMISE for most AA women is near; and I want my conscience to be clear that I did all that I could to save as many as possible.

Although, I must admit that lately my thoughts have turned to what sort of memorial those of us who survive should have for those AA women and children who don't make it out in time. While standing in the checkout line the other day, I read an article in the Essence rag about the amazingly high rate of HIV & AIDs among AA women in Washington, D.C.

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Greetings Khadija!

I want to mention that you certainly have my permission to delete any comments that are submitted at your blog in the comment section that do not pertain to the post.

I know that your blog is not a message board for Lisa or for other blog guests! *LOL*

My blog comment section is not a message board. It should not be treated as such either.

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Lisa

Khadija said...

Hello there, Lisa!

Done. "Message board" comments deleted. I didn't want to do that with messages directed to you without your permission.

Note to readers: I will delete all such "message board" comments in the future.

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

Aphrodite said...

@ Destouet

That is wonderful! You are so resourceful. You definitely were using your head with the landlord. That is awesome.




@ roslynholcomb

"Yep, I memorized the number on that truck and made sure I got a good description of both men. I rushed back to my house and called the city RIGHT THEN."


That is some woman power!





@ Tam

"Then I'm met with blank stares and the inevitable chorus of don't be too happy you just might have to come back."


That is such a low thing to say.




"Droves of West African Women are marrying European men and many more would if they could BECAUSE these women realize the POTENTIAL advantages this type of union provides them and their offspring."


Wow WA women aren't sleeping. How are they doing this?

Sandra77 said...

Just to "affirm" what Evia said in her post, I know a bunch of West African (all Nigerian) women in Houston, TX and in Los Angeles, CA and they are marrying/dating white men. And the men they are marrying/dating are professional men at or above their socio-economic level. Even though particularly in LA I note that more and more AAW are open to WM and other non-black men, I am still seeing more hostility to "dating out" among AAW than among African women and the West Indian women that I know (I am originally from the West Indies).

Khadija said...

Greetings, Sandra77!

Thanks for sharing your observations. "Eyewitness" testimony is always helpful in evaluating a situation.

AA women are simply going to have to snap out of the "nothing but a BM" mindset. And catch the clue demonstrated by these other types of women who are moving forward into advantageous MARRIAGES.

Time is of the essence with these matters. The time to seize opportunities is right now, before they pass us by.

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

Anonymous said...

Just a question...So, if more west African women are marrying wm.
Why is it that my co-worker nigerian/w behaves as if this is such a bad thing when I bought up the idea of ir dating? She has 3 daughters in their 20s.
Is she pretending not to like the idea of African woman and other race men? Her own daughter told her not to be surprise if she brought home a wm.


lyn

Khadija said...

Greetings, Anonymous/"Lyn"!

You asked, "Just a question...So, if more west African women are marrying wm.
Why is it that my co-worker nigerian/w behaves as if this is such a bad thing when I bought up the idea of ir dating?"


Response: Who knows what's with your co-worker? And really, who cares what's going on with that particular individual? You certainly can't expect every Nigerian woman on the planet to be in lockstep with each other.

The same way I am not in lockstep with every other AA woman on the planet. Nor can I definitively explain the actions of random AA people who are unknown to me.

As far as I'm concerned, the point of these observations is to take note that BW from other ethnicities are apparently beginning to make inroads that are similar to those that Asian women have been making for DECADES.

We can either take note and learn from these observations. Or we can look up 5 years from now, scratching our heads and wondering how it came to be that these OTHER ethnicities of BW jumped ahead of us in the "Strategic Marriage Sweepstakes."

I believe that AA women CAN'T afford to continue to be "a day late and a dollar short." The time to get a clue is right now.

Peace, blessings and solidarity.