Sunday, July 5, 2009

Don't Miss Out On Marriage Due To Fighting A Cultural War That Black Men Abandoned Over 40 Years Ago

This essay is contained in my new book. I'm delighted to announce that The Sojourner's Passport site has launched! You can visit it at

Everyone, I can't thank you enough for your ongoing encouragement and support; I truly appreciate it. Your support is what made this possible. And here's a special shout-out to my web designers at Educo Web Design. They're nice people to deal with, and they do outstanding work!

Peace and blessings,
Khadija Nassif


Faith at Acts of Faith Blog said...

Wow! This would be considered absolute heresy for those that would obstruct it's message. You forgot about Tiger Woods, the now-dead Steve McNair (whatever foolishness that's bound to be revealed), Jesse Jackson Sr., Al Sharpton...honestly this list could go on for MILES.

We need to start adding some women to the list as well.

Felicia said...

Good wake-up calls ladies.

Good wake-up calls.

The fact is "the plan" for VAST numbers of BM was to join the greater society (WHITE society) ALL ALONG.

IMO based on the current ill state of the "bc", all of that "black unity" talk spouted by "the brothas" was just a diversionary tactic.

Black women were simply DUPED (and most still are) and tricked under false pretenses (the "contract" that Evia has alluded to in previous essays) into "fighting the system".

To all of the BW out there STILL living in Fantasy Land, the "war" is OVER and has been over for DECADES.

And YOU as women had NO business fighting it to BEGIN with.

That was always a MAN'S job.

Come out of your fog and join the living.

To further illustrate the point we're all making, I present the closing Narration of a Twighlight Zone episode (Yes I'm a fan of that 60's series) entitled DEATH SHIP.

Closing Narration

" Picture of a man who will not see anything he does not choose to see -- including his own death. A man of such indomitable will that even the two men beneath his command are not allowed to see the truth; which truth is, that they are no longer among the living, that the movements they make and the words they speak have all been made and spoken countless times before--and will be made and spoken countless times again, perhaps even unto eternity. Picture of a latter-day Flying Dutchman, sailing into the Twilight Zone.

From Youtube... (This is a MUST SEE video that PERFECTLY illustrates most black women's current condition of denial)

Check this out ya'll and tell me if it doesn't look SMH

BW need to STOP the loop and get off the Death Ship for good.

Life is WONDERFUL in the "outer" (living) world.

Khadija said...


You said, "We need to start adding some women to the list as well."-


Historically or currently, have BW generally been open or resistant to expanding their options to choose those outside the Black race? I would say that we've been resistant for the most part. Just compare the numbers of AAW with non-Black partners with those of AA males. It's totally lopsided. [Although, I hear that our BW cousins in the UK have caught a clue after seeing something like 50%+ of British BM date/marry out.]

AAW in particular have been resistant due to a (now misguided and misplaced) sense of "racial loyalty." A sense of loyalty that has never been reciprocated by AA males. A sense of "racial loyalty" that BM in general never really bought into.

I'm mentioning an abbreviated list of BM because BW need to understand that we are ALONE in this "I will narrow my options out of 'racial loyalty' TRICKBAG". BM said "Peace Out!" to that "loyalty" concept 45+ years ago. BW are the ONLY ones still caught up in this trickbag!

As I've mentioned before: When you look at the ACTIONS (not words) of BM civil rights/Black Power leaders like Dr. King, Harry Belafonte, the Panthers, etc. it's quite apparent that their REAL underlying motivation for their activism was to have increased access to White women.-

[For those who are screaming about the reference to the Panthers, just read Bobby Seale's autobiography A Lonely Rage. It's eye-opening, to say the least.]

Also, I've deliberately omitted the "Don't you dare call me Black" so-called 'biracial' males from this partial list. Those types of Negroes never claimed to be Black. And, they are the result of their Negro father exercising his option to choose non-Black women.

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

Faith at Acts of Faith Blog said...

Oh I didn't realize it was a dating/mating list.

Khadija said...

I forgot to add:

Half-other Negroes like Tiger Woods, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Vin Diesel, etc. (and, if I remember correctly, Thurgood Marshall's half-Filipino sons) are only doing what their Negro fathers did. They're acting out the (anyone but a BW) proclivities they were trained to have by their Negro fathers.

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

Felicia said...

Most AA BW desperately need to accept the current reality in the "bc" as it is.

Meaning, they should stop projecting their hopes, dreams, and wishes on a sinking ship.

It's but a waste of precious time.

One of the things I loved about the Twilight Zone series, is that the stories often taught valuable lessons.

Many of the stories were parables.

And parables have a way of cutting through the bull and getting right to the point.

A Chinese parable I'd like to share that also relates to the current state that too many BW find themselves in is...

Lack of a Business Plan

Discourse on "Ling Shang" , Chap. 22 by Han Fei Zi

A man of the state of Lu was skilled in weaving hemp sandals while his wife was good at weaving fine white silk. The couple thought of moving to the state of Yue in the south.
"You will be in dire straits," he was told.

"Why?" asked the man of Lu.

"Hemp sandals are for walking but the people of Yue walk barefoot. White silk is for making hats but the people of Yue go about bare-headed. If you go to a place where your skills are utterly useless, how can you hope to do well?"

BW need a new business plan.

Khadija said...


But at least the couple in the Chinese parable you mentioned had some sort of plan. A plan that they were willing to ACTIVELY pursue by travelling to another place. Even though it was a poorly-thought out plan, they were willing to get up and take action. They were willing to make a change.

Most AAW are still heavily involved in passive, wishful thinking. And the idea that if we just hold on and stay the course then things will get better.

It's interesting. I was talking to a friend from college last week. He's one of the handful of AA men who still adhere to old-school values. At the moment, he was focused on protecting his (AA) wife and daughters by making his house a much "harder" target for criminals. And what he could do to accomplish this goal.

He lives in a mixed middle class area that (unfortunately) borders a working class/poor Black one. The criminals have begun to venture into his area to steal, etc. He already has his guns and the special licenses to possess them. [It helped that his father is a retired police officer.] We had a long conversation about security cameras and "panic rooms."

He talked about how AAs are in FREE FALL and yet are still acting as if things are normal. He imitated the scene in the movie A Few Good Men and talked about how most AAs CAN'T handle the truth of our situation.

Even though he's a fervent supporter of Pres. Obama, he knows that Pres. Obama's presence is NOT going to prevent "Rwanda" from breaking out among us. He knows that "Rwanda" is coming soon. And all the hollow, "Black-talk" slogans won't prevent it.

In the past, he's tried to get various BF acquaintances and friends to think through their own personal security issues/risks. And take appropriate action. Most of them don't want to hear it. He shakes his head about this because the bulk of these women DON'T have male protectors.

For example, it's the icy cold of pure logic, but he knows that as he makes HIS house an obviously less appealing target, this will tend to deflect the criminals to other, (AA) female-headed, single parent houses on his block. He's tried to offer security suggestions to the BF neighbors who are single parents. They also won't listen.

He laughs about how he now just listens politely to Black folks talking the "save alla our people" okey-doke. He used to argue with them. He used to try to explain to them that it was too late for that; and that they needed to see to their OWN personal security.

Now, he listens politely while he contemplates additions/refinements to his home security systems.

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

Halima said...

[Another overall belief is the notion that "White people are our PRIMARY oppressors and enemies," and therefore "We must fight them." We should note that this notion never stopped African-American men from dating, sexing and marrying White women.

You are right Khadija, there are a couple of these 'ideologies' at play in bw's minds. So from 'white people are the only villans', to 'black women and black men are in unity', each generates maladaptive behaviour in various areas of bw's lives.

ak said...

Great post again Khadija, I always love how you spell it out for everyone to clearly see!


The fact is "the plan" for VAST numbers of BM was to join the greater society (WHITE society) ALL ALONG.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES. The way they copy inconsequential, little things that white men do, and not even the positive more important things, and the way black men are ever-ready for IR relationships and marriage, what you just said can only be altogether true.

A lot of black men just wanted to wake up white one day! LOL

Anonymous said...


The only QUALITY Man listed above is Thurgood Marshall (and maybe Walter White). I don't care about the rest of them at all. Some of those males have been arrested for domestic violence (Billy Dee Williams, OJ, Pryor, Lou Rawls, left black women for white ones (Poitier, Lionel Richie,OJ), some are self haters (Montel Williams,Clarence Thomas, OJ), were never interested in black women (and who really cares?) (Quincy Jones,Cuba Gooding,Russell Simmons, Dennis Rodman, Melvin Van Peebles). IMO, those were some pretty bad examples to give bw for a wake up call. lol! Normal thinking bw wouldn't want most of those damaged individuals to marry bw at all. I have never posted here but, I think better examples would be bw who have successfully married out. At this stage of the game, black males should be irrelevant.

Khadija said...


You're missing the point. I don't care about any of these men. The point is that all sorts of BM ranging from the good, the bad, and the neutral do whatever they want to do. They DON'T feel any need to let anything at all (including any professed ideology) narrow their choices.

My point is for more AAW to realize that they're the ONLY ONES who let misguided ideas about politics, racial loyalty, etc. narrow their options. Nobody else is doing this. Not non-AA BW. Not other women of color. And not BM. THIS is my point. Not the merits (or lack of such) of any of the BM I've mentioned. The point is fow AAW to understand that EVERYBODY except AAW is exercising freedom of choice.-

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

Lorraine said...

In your words Khadija: "Raise Fist Salute" for this one. You are so on point about the Latino aspect. (Acutally all the points). But even the most pitiful, non English Speaking- American Resource stealing, illegal Latino will still turn his nose up at Blacks and call us Nigger. I know this for a fact. I asked this Dominican about Afro Latinos and he tried to act as if he didn't know that he was one. Obviously negrito but looked at me like I was crazy. The Dominicans have it bad and will claim Indian status in a second.

I heard about the killing in Los Angeles of the little black girl and saw one Latino say: "Blacks may as well face it, we are here to stay!" And we want to rally side by side with them when INS has the ocassion to gather some of them up in a sting operation. They feel targeted, their rights are violated. We want to call them our brown brothers and sisters. You let them get in power and see how much they will stand by us. The various groups sometimes hate each other but they will stand together against AAs.

I get sick when I see black folks rallying around protesting illegals' rights to get driver's licenses and legal status. I wonder what country we could go to as illegals and demand rights. Rights that have wreaked economic havoc in the courts and hospitals. OK, off my soap box. I do have Hispanic friends, but having been immersed in the community, I know how many of them think and act towards us.

I used to watch lots of Spanish television and finally spoke out to the producers of "Ingles Sin Barreras." because I saw no black people. It prompted a response because I guess they never thought a black American woman would be watching, let along firing off a letter to every email I could find. The creative director called me in shock but was nice. He assured me that we would see blacks in the future. I later saw a dark skinned Puerto Rican and another one so light you didn't know (but kinda knew).

The Spanish media have had to get with the program. They could not continue to broadcast in the US without representing how we look. I have seen some more blacks but they have a long way to go. There are some strong civil rights groups in the various countries who know they are black and speak out against discrimination. These would include movements in Guatemala, Nicaragua, Honduras, Argentina, Bolivia, Paraguay, Uruguay, Chile, and Peru. So I do have hope. It's just some of the ones who get here and think they are all that.

Thanks again for posting.

sistrunkqueen said...


You are so on point about afro latinos and their self-hate. The tide is changing though in some Latin American countries Afro-latinos are trying to get some rights. I have a friend who is black Honduras and yes there are blacks in Honduras and Nicaragua. I sent him a youtube clip of blacks protesting development of their lands by the Honduran government. He was suprised and immediately sent the email to family back home. They were unawares about the Honduran goverments plans to take imminent domain on black settlers' land.

Anonymous said...

Ok, I'm get it now, Khadija. Thank you for the clarification.

As an aside, since MLK was mentioned above, I feel the need to say, I simply cannot stand Martin Luther King Jr. The biggest phony ever. He pretended to be a "moral" family man and was nothing more than a typical black male, hiding behind a movement started by a black female (Rosa Parks, who deserves most of the credit for starting the civil rights movement)and taking all of the credit for it. I respect what he did for the movement but, I have zero respect for him as a person. I was always much more of a Malcolm X woman, myself. I'm sure I'll get killed for that comment.

Khadija said...


Thank you for your kind words about the post; I truly appreciate it.


I'm DEEPLY angry with our (mis)leaders for encouraging our people to support Latino immigration and the so-called "plight" of illegal immigrants. Send them back!! It was beyond foolish --- it was suicide by coalition as I mentioned in Part 2 of the Charity Begins At Home series.

But this gets back to our many foolish assumptions, such as: (1) the Black candidate is always our champion; and (2) other people of color are our allies/friends. My goodness, most of these so-called "other people of color" perceive themselves (or WANT to be perceived) as WHITE! Much of the time, they only talk this "people of color" stuff when they want to ride AAs' civil rights/diversity/affirmative action coattails.

AAs better wake up. Los Angeles and Miami are sneak previews of what it will be like to live under the heels of racist Latino political overlords. It won't be a pretty picture.

And then after the Asian population outnumbers AAs, they'll have their feet on our necks next. The colored fools in New Orleans already allowed the 1st Vietnamese-American congressman (Republican!) to be elected from a majority-Black district. We never catch on that these other people's political and other advances come at our expense. Nor do we catch the hint that it's often a zero-sum game between these other people of color and us.

Khadija said...

Part 2


Things went down the way they did during the civil rights movement (BW doing the bulk of the unsung, uncelebrated "grunt" work while BM posed for the cameras) because BW allowed this. Those women allowed themselves to be exploited on the front lines of the civil rights movement as cannon AND rape fodder for violent Southern racists.

Nobody EVER talks about that angle: The danger that BW and children were subjected to by "manning" the front lines of these demonstrations. Another thing that is never mentioned is the number of BF civil rights marchers who were raped and gangraped by these racist Southern beasts in those jails. We can't be naive enough to believe that those ... things...didn't engage in that particular atrocity against BF marchers.

Anyway, back to your main point. Someone with a better memory of the details can correct me, but my understanding is that Rosa Parks wasn't the first one to refuse to give up her seat in that context. Apparently another BW had done so earlier and had also been arrested because of it.

However, this other BW was not chosen to be the "let's rally around her/poster child" person because her profile was not deemed appropriate for the struggle: she had an OOW child. I've also read criticisms alleging that another reason for the choice to NOT use her as the "poster child" for that struggle is that she was dark-skinned.

I've also always had a preference for Malcolm X over Dr. King. In terms of style, part of it was always a visceral reaction. I've always been annoyed by the sound of Dr. King's sing-song, Southern preacher intonations; I didn't grow up in that sort of church environment, so that particular preaching style was foreign to me. In terms of style, I've always preferred Malcolm X's crisp diction.

In terms of substance, I never heard any racial/ethnic pride or even self-respect in Dr. King's speeches. I also felt that there was nothing masculine about his speeches. To my ears, he sounded like somebody who was begging and pleading.

Furthermore, even as a pre-teen it bothered me to see the newsreel footage of BW and children being bitten by police dogs, etc...while...the...male...marchers...did...nothing.

I knew that this was the point of the strategy (generating pitiful newsreel films to embarrass the local racists), but I never respected the men who could stand around while other men beat their women and children.

Without having to ask, I KNEW that my Dad would NEVER tolerate anything like that regarding me or Mom. There would be dead White racists, and he'd probably end up dead too. Men like my father would NOT have HIS wife and children participating in anything PHYSICALLY DANGEROUS like that.

I'm thankful for the advances that Dr. King's sacrifices made possible. However, I was never one of Dr. King's fans. For a variety of reasons.

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

otomedreams said...

I never really thought about it... but the only AA man in my life is my father :/ I was often told I was stuck up but I would cut off anyone who I felt was disrespectful to me, incuding aa males. It just seems so many women want to give out a pass for intolerable behavior. I hope aa women wake up and get off of the railroad tracks soon, because the train is coming. The twilight zone reference is good, the lives a lot of aa women choose to lead is beyond bizarre. I guess I have trouble relating because I never was laying on the tracks. I'm sure to the women about to be ran over, it makes perfect sense to be there.
I am grateful to all the bw empowerment bloggers for opening my eyes to so many things.

Khadija said...


Yep, the train IS coming. Folks need to get off the tracks. Quickly.

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

Khadija said...

To All Non-Black Readers,

I'm going to insist that you only lurk while we're having these sorts of extremely internally sensitive conversations. Your attempted presence in this type of internally sensitive conversation needlessly complicates and hinders its progress.

To The Recent Attempted Non-Black Commenter,

Well, there are long-standing historical reasons for all of this. The notion that "White people are our PRIMARY oppressors and enemies" didn't just drop from the sky. And these notions are refreshed/reinforced with each new, current act of injustice that is perpetrated by modern White racists.

It's very similar to the heightened sensitivities that the Jewish community has toward anything that even remotely reminds them of their holocaust.

I would suggest that you read the post and comments from May 27, 2009 entitled Reality Check: African-Americans STILL Need to Have Racial Discipline In the Obama Era. I would also suggest that you read the blog post from The Group News Blog that I linked to at the end of the piece.

Peace and blessings.

Phd White Guy said...

No problem,

I will not intrude again

Khadija said...

Phd White Guy,

Thank you for your cooperation. Let me repeat something that I've mentioned on a few other occassions:

You and other non-Black readers are always welcome to participate in the discussions that don't directly pertain to racial issues. That sort of thing is open for all, and doesn't hinder the blog's mission profile (which is focused on enhancing and saving the lives of AAW and their children).

Peace and blessings.

Anonymous said...


For me, this entire “process” has been about changing the way I think, I feel, and the methodology I’ve used in making decisions for myself. One area that remained very complex even convoluted was the whole Islamic/Muslim thing…
I realized that’s it’s very easy for bw to get duped, manipulated, and sabotaged in the “all black” Sunni groups (even some of the mixed ones to be honest) because many IMM and BAM leaders have told the jummah that our religious community is in the SAME or WORSE conditions as the non-Muslim AA’s were pre-civil rights/post civil rights era. You speak of other groups of people riding the coat tails of AA’s civil rights—CAIR is infamous for doing this!

I continued to be very confused (going around in circles in my head)about this because I believe that human rights are for all people not just some people. Just like Arab children overseas have become child soldiers, so too, have BAM children who are expected to give dawah through dress codes etc. Something that is historically out of context for giving dawah.

This is yet another trap for bw that I don't half to choose to be apart of.


Harmony said...

Hello. I am a reader of your blog but I never posted until now.

An interesting point about Black Latinos. I have came across only one black latino(male and was Mexican/Cuban) and although I cannot base ALL black Latinos of of that one horrible individual, this individual had some SERIOUS issues. He clearly didn't even think he was black and I was the ONLY person he was mean to, while he was all smiles and cordiality with everyone else.

So all in all, I would advise steering clear of Afro Latino males but the non-black latino males are actually really cool.

Khadija said...


I believe that there's NO such thing as a "cool" CATEGORY of people.

There are the odds of finding particular traits (raised in a married, 2 parent home; values marriage and family life; etc.) with people from various cultures/categories.

For example, African men (in general) are more likely than African-American men to come from married, 2 parent households. African men (in general) are more likely to have been RAISED to value marriage and family life. So, the odds of finding a man who knows how to be (and WANTS to be) a good protector and provider are higher among African men then among African-American men.

However, there's never any guarantee that these odds apply to any particular individual within ANY ethnic/cultural category. These are just the odds. Bottom line: Everybody must be vetted/screened for quality!-

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

Harmony said...

Khadija said...

I believe that there's NO such thing as a "cool" CATEGORY of people.

There are the odds of finding particular traits (raised in a married, 2 parent home; values marriage and family life; etc.) with people from various cultures/categories.

For example, African men (in general) are more likely than African-American men to come from married, 2 parent households. African men (in general) are more likely to have been RAISED to value marriage and family life. So, the odds of finding a man who knows how to be (and WANTS to be) a good protector and provider are higher among African men then among African-American men.

However, there's never any guarantee that these odds apply to any particular individual within ANY ethnic/cultural category. These are just the odds. Bottom line: Everybody must be vetted/screened for quality!-

Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Hello again, Khadija,

As a young woman who isn't even in my 20s yet, the word cool has been a word I've been using to describe just about anything that I like which I've should've been more clear about.

But I do agree with you that categories of people cannot be seen as 'cool'.

I also agree with you that ALL people should meet quality standards.

I personally have never met an African, but from what I have heard, Africans come from a different system that is different from black people here in America, especially those of my generation. Sometimes I feel like an old lady in a young woman's body because I don't agree with alot of the ways of people my age,lol.

Thanks for RESPECTFULLY expressing your opinion. Not many people can do that.

Harmony said...

As for the cultural war, maybe because I'm young, but I've NEVER had the "save all black people" or blind racial loyalty and I've never claimed black people I didn't know to be my sister or brother.But I still love black people and being AFRICAN-AMERICAN.

(I capitalize that because I have been coming across more and more black people who don't like being called African-American and for some reason, that bothers me.But that's a whole other story,lol.)

I've also never been only about dating black guys. But then again, I have been liking non black guys since 9th grade and live in a predominately Mexican American neighborhood, so ONLY limiting myself to black guys would be stupid. Especially since most of the few black guys around don't even look at black women, so my mindset was, why pay attention to men who have no interest in me?

And this was BEFORE I came across these BW empowerment blogs, so I wonder how many other black girls are also coming to their senses?

Although where I reside, the few black women here are open to dating outside their race.So maybe that helps.

Anyways, I used to frequent an AA Forum and the mindset you described fits so many of the women there. I stuck it out and tried to let them know that their mindset isn't the best mindset to have, but after dealing with black women who became defensive towards anyone who did not think like them I just left.
[BTW, the site was taken over by white racist trolls, so discussing black issues over there was not really an option.That site is the prime example of poor moderating,lol.]

Some women will have to learn the hard way about being loyal to a group of men/race that don't return the favor.

Khadija said...


You said, "Thanks for RESPECTFULLY expressing your opinion. Not many people can do that."-

You're welcome! LOL! I've always hated the cable "news" shows that feature panelists screaming at each other. That's so...barbaric. It's troubling that this disrespectful style of "communication" has become normalized.

From reading, I've always admired the extreme courtesy and etiquette that medieval Muslim scholars used when discussing and debating various hot-topic issues. I try to emulate this etiquette as best I can.

You said, "(I capitalize that because I have been coming across more and more black people who don't like being called African-American and for some reason, that bothers me.But that's a whole other story,lol.)"-

What I've seen from earlier blog discussions is that:

(1) Many AAs are confused about the distinction between racial versus ethnic identity. We understand that we are Black, but we don't understand that we are specifically African-American.

(2) Many AAs have the misguided notion that having specific ETHNIC self-respect as AAs is somehow undermining global "Black solidarity" with other types of Black people. This idea puts AAs at a HUGE disadvantage when interacting with other types of Black people (continental Africans, West Indians, etc.).

This puts AAs at a disadvantage because these other people under the importance of having pride in their specific ethnic identities IN ADDITION TO overall racial self-respect.

I asked the following questions during the conversation about the Sojourner's Meeting: First LOVE YOURSELF As An African-American Woman post:

“When Jamaicans, Nigerians, Trinidadians, etc. proudly and appropriately say to you, ""On my island/in my country we do blah-blah" what do YOU have to say that you're equally proud about with OUR AA people? Have you taken the time to FIND things to say for yourself as an AA?

As things stand, most AAs have not found anything to say. Instead of cultivating our own ethnic self-respect, many of us get angry with these other [types of Black] people for showing a healthy amount of ethnic self-respect.

Do you say something like "AAs traditionally did blah-blah. And my father/grandfather/Big Mama always told us to blah-blah"?

Do you see what an inherent disadvantage you put yourself in with other people if you don't cultivate ETHNIC self-respect as an AA? Do you see how this failure to cultivate ethnic self-respect as an AA sets you up for (invited) disrespect. It also sets you up for being a refugee whenever you come into contact with non-AAs of any race."

I went on to say:

“Most of us don't consider this basic, important fact so let me say it here:

Most other people who were subjected to even a FRACTION of what AAs went through did NOT survive the experience. Full stop. Period.

Let's consider that there was an entire CONTINENT filled with Native American nations in the entire Americas. The "Indians" are mostly GONE. DEAD. ERASED. Entire Native nations are EXTINCT. Full stop. Period. And yet we remain as AAs.

The Jews only made it over the centuries because they were allowed to hold onto their religion. Our ancestors were NOT allowed to hold onto their original religions. And yet here we AAs remain as an identifiable separate ethnic group. Full stop. Period.I believe that more of us need to ponder these facts.”

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

Welcome said...

You know what's sad is the bm/bw that are putting their money where there mouth is get derailed by other black people or are the only ones helping. Like Tavis Smiley, Claud Anderson and many others. I'm surprised many even keep on trying to do this. Black Americans got mad at Oprah for opening the boarding school in South Africa instead of America for black youth. Hell that's because they actually appreciate what she is doing. People say that Cosby, Oprah etc. need to give money and do this and that, but Oprah has given 50mill over to black colleges and many other programs to help black people. There's only so much a person can take. I think Cosby has given a lot of money as well. You are going to go where you work is appreciated and reciprocated not just take take take and don't give back.

I loved Tavis Smiley's book How to Make Black America Better: Leading African Americans Speak Out and this man is actually trying to do this unlike most who complaign about his books etc. He puts his money where his mouth is. It's frankly sad how many black people make negative comments about books with ideas on how to improve our place in this country and people who actually do work to do this.

Even though I may not totally be into the save the race thing anymore I do love Tavis and others like Black Genius: African American Solutions to African American Problems because it gave me ideas to implement in my life.

And I love that I have found the BWE blogs because it taught me to question these black politicans and other black leaders or people that just like to talk.

And also don't worry if someone who is in the teens/early 20's is still overlooking these message (even though they are reading it). They will finally understand. Right now they are getting out of protection of parents and just plain growing up and seeing the world for the imperfectness it really is.

Welcome said...

(1) Many AAs are confused about the distinction between racial versus ethnic identity. We understand that we are Black, but we don't understand that we are specifically African-American.

And many African Americans are identifying as Black Americans. I also get the reasoning. Mainly for most it's because we aren't directly from Africa. I don't have a problem with that like I once did. Plus I think this is going to happen anyway as more AAs want to distance themselves from the ABC crew who seem to like to tell people what is black (as in the keeping it real crap)and then turn around with the save alla oww peopah stuff.

Not everyone is going to agree with a term or label and sometimes we move on to others Hispanics have all types of lables and they could be from the same country. I used to have a problem with that until I realized it's up to people how they want to be identified.

I think it's only natural for what we call ourselves to change. Remember at one time were were Negros and called ourselves as such.

Khadija said...


How is Tavis Smiley putting his money where his mouth is? If such is the case, then he's doing something that I'm unaware of. I haven't heard of him doing anything except selling his books. So, I'm curious to know.

I consider Bob Law and Claud Anderson to be "walking their talk" because they have spent years in the trenches actually DOING what they suggest that others do, and helping others DO it. Not just TALKING about what should be done.

We've got a LOT of voices talking; and very few people DOING.

For example, Bob Law has a long career in radio. However, he hasn't just talked about Black economic development over the years on the radio. He actually started his own business and assumed the responsibilities of being a business owner---such as hiring and paying (Black) employees. And his business hasn't just revolved around selling (his) books. IIRC, Mr. Law owns a cafe.

The same goes for Dr. Anderson, who has helped others build businesses, in addition to owning his own businesses. Again, his businesses haven't just revolved around selling his books. IIRC, Dr. Anderson owned a radio station, and had started a seafood franchise.

As far as what AAs call ourselves, I believe that AAs put ourselves ast a disadvantage with other people when we identify only by race instead of by race AND our specific ethnicity. An ethnic "blank slate" always loses when it comes into contact with an ethnic "something."

Peace, blessings and solidarity.