Saturday, January 17, 2015

African-American Women: Here's Some Of The Fruit That You've Earned With Your Knee-Jerk, Rabid Support of “12 Years a Slave,” Part 6 – FINAL





What to Make ofBuzzfeed's “Rise Of The Black British Actor In America” Piece...

If Angela Bassett, Diahann Carroll & Vanessa Bell Calloway Were Starting Their Acting Careers Now, They’d Never Get Hired—And Many Of You Are Okay With That Result

Follow The Money & Resources Trail, Part 3: “12 Years A Slave” — Who Benefits? Primarily Outsiders Who Are NOT African-American Women

I intend for this to be the last post in this particular series. Because I see that a critical mass of readers have (finally) woken up enough to understand what I tried to tell some of y’all a little over a year ago. When I first raised questions about your rabid, knee-jerk, unsolicited and unreciprocated support of Lupita Nyong’o and 12 Years A Slave. It’s taken about a year for many of the negative consequences I could see coming as a result of your caping for Lupita and 12 Years A Slave to become manifest and slap some of y’all in the face. So now you get it. Thank God.
I haven’t enjoyed rubbing your noses in this mess. It’s been necessary because too many of y’all are hardheaded and refuse to admit having made an error in judgment in blindly supporting Lupita & Assorted Other Foreign Black Entertainers. Instead of being willing to rethink and reconsider a position, too many of you have the mental habit of “doubling down” on a mistake. Which is not a good habit to have.

The Minimal Bottom Line Of What You Must Do If You Don’t Want To Be Totally Erased As An African-American Black Woman

Most African-American Black women (AABW) can’t understand nuance.

Most AABW can’t understand (and won’t demand) on-par reciprocity. From anybody. “On par” meaning a dollar in exchange for a dollar. Not where an AABW gives a dollar to a foreign-origin Black person and gets 1₵ in return from that foreign-origin Black person. As various BWE and Common Sense writers have said, very few of AABW’s interactions or relationships involve on par reciprocity.
This is why AABW are being erased and destroyed. Most of us support people and things that don’t support us at all. Or we support people who give us the equivalent of 1₵ for every $1 we give them.

By your rabid, unsolicited, unreciprocated support of Lupita, 12 Years A Slave, and other foreign Black actresses, you’ve already put foreign Black actresses in charge of the Black Female Niche in American Hollywood! Here’s what these foreign Black entertainers who are making their money and careers from impersonating historical African-Americans think about YOU:

I don’t know about you, but I hate to see Latinos, foreign Blacks and other outsiders climbing over the bones of dead AA civil rights martyrs.
It also makes me sick to my stomach to see so many gullible AABW automatically speaking in terms of “we” in reference to these African actresses. Stupidly assuming that we’re all somehow on the same team. So many AA female morons grinning and skinning while Lupita is climbing over our ancestors’ bones to get her accolades. Dummies who assume they are winning while she wins.

It all reminds me of the slave asking the slave master, “WE’s sick, boss?”
By your rabid, unsolicited, unreciprocated support of Lupita, 12 Years A Slave, and other foreign Black actresses, you’ve already put foreign Blacks in charge of the image of AABW in American Hollywood. But it does NOT have to stay that way. What happens next is up to you.

If you as an AABW want to avoid being totally erased from the American media—erased and replaced by biracials and foreign Black actresses (like what happened in the recent movie Selma)—here’s the minimum of what you must do:
STOP supporting ANY movie or other entertainment product starring foreign-origin Blacks.

STOP supporting ANY movie or other entertainment product starring biracial women or girls. (Meaning biracial women or girls who are not your specific daughters—it’s common sense to support your own biracial daughter’s aspirations, but DON’T expect any unrelated, non-kin AABW to support your biracial daughter’s aspirations. Because doing so would bring no benefit to unrelated AABW.*)
This isn’t about these foreign Blacks or biracials. It’s about SELF-LOVE and SELF-PROTECTION for AABW.

*I hate to have to spell out this angle so plainly. Because it makes AABW look stupid. But I do so because most AABW are incapable of identifying (much less protecting) their own self-interests. I’ll quote a comment I made over at the excellent blog, Not Your Girl Friday:

"[Other commenter],

Oh, my goodness . . . {raised eyebrow} I know that most AA women have a programmed inability to identify their own SELF-interests, much less advocate in support of their own SELF interests. Because many of them have been programmed to perceive doing what everybody ELSE does when acting in their own self-interest as somehow “punishing” other people.

I’ll start by repeating part of what I said in this post:
I said:
—“It’s normal human nature to take care of folks in this order: self, family, clan, ethnic group. With many people in many countries, “nation” isn’t even on that list. For other people, “race” also is not on that list; their concern only extends as far as their own ethnic group. With most people, outsiders are almost never on the “take care of them” list.
Most African-Americans have the “take care of them” list backwards compared to every other group of people. We put outsiders first and put ourselves last. African-American women put themselves dead last on the “must be taken care of” list. Our misleaders have programmed most African-Americans to look to create over-arching coalitions with anybody and everybody else . . . in the absence of taking care of self, family, clan, and finally, ethnic group.
Our misleaders have also programmed us to fixate on being “fairer than fair” to anybody and everybody except ourselves. This is why so many African-Americans will come to Black blogs to fight with other Black people to champion the interests of NON-Blacks (such as the “don’t you dare call me Black” so-called biracials, other so-called “people of color,” and so on). (Note that these other “people of color” generally only use that term to describe themselves when they want something from African-Americans. Many other “people of color,” such as many Latinos and Arabs, are heavily invested in self-identifying as “White” in every other context.)
All the above confused thinking is upside-down and backwards. And it doesn’t work.”—
More specifically in response to your comment, if I had a biracial daughter I would support HER individual acting aspirations simply because she’s kin to me as MY daughter. I wouldn’t expect non-related AABW to support MY biracial daughter’s acting aspirations. Because there’s nothing in it for non-related, non-kin AABW to support my hypothetical biracial daughter’s acting aspirations. Supporting MY [hypothetical] biracial daughter’s acting aspirations would NOT bring any benefit whatsoever to non-related, non-kin AABW so why in the world would I expect them to do that? I wouldn’t.
Not only would non-related, non-kin AABW supporting MY [hypothetical] biracial daughter’s aspirations bring NO benefit whatsoever to them, they’d be acting AGAINST their own SELF-interests as AABW to support MY [hypothetical] biracial daughter’s acting aspirations. They’d be supporting the continued erasure of their own image. They’d also be supporting the flow of resources (access to acting jobs, acting income, career boosts, etc.) AWAY from the AA collective. With the currently observed end result of AABW actresses whining about how there are no roles for them.
BM celebrities have done this for decades and yet many of them want to be “perpetually surprised” by the logical, end result of generations of them transferring resources back to nonblacks (via their marriages to nonblack women): They have no institutions of their own. They have nothing they control. They are still dependent on WM to provide entertainment industry jobs for them. With the currently observed end result of many of these same BM actors whining about how there are no roles for them.
Well, there’s nothing for AA Black performers because generations of us have transferred all our resources AWAY from ourselves and toward biracials, other nonblacks, and now foreign non-AA Blacks like Lupita and the rest of the foreign Blacks in 12 Years a Slave.
I don’t support having MY image erased as an AABW.
The only exception I would make to that basic position is that I would support MY [hypothetical] biracial daughter’s acting aspirations because that’s MY child and MY kin. And it benefits me to support my immediate family.* I certainly wouldn’t expect unrelated, non-kin AABW to support [hypothetical] biracial daughter’s acting aspirations.
Now, if you want to support your own erasure by supporting the acting aspirations of random, unrelated, no-kin-to-you biracial girls and women actresses, go right ahead. You’re welcome to do that. It’s a free enough country.
[*Only with those immediate family members who practice on-par reciprocity with me and do as much for me as I do for them. A nonblack friend who’s an “ace boon” who has actively and consistently supported me is a higher priority to me than a non-immediate blood relative who has done nothing for me. I care the most about the people who by their actions have demonstrated that they care the most about me.]
Most people, in parallel with considerations of degrees of kin, also prioritize folks according to how much those people do for them. Here’s how most people who are NOT AABW prioritize people (with the #1 slot being the category of persons who are most important to them):
(1) People who consistently do a lot for them. [In other words, “ace boons” who actively have their back.
(2) People who sometimes do some things for them.
(3) People who do very little for them.
(4) People who do nothing for them.
I’ll note that people who do worse than nothing for them—meaning folks who harm them or their interests—don’t exist on the mental priority checklist for folks who are something other than an AABW.
By contrast, here’s how most AABW tend to prioritize people with reference to how much those people do for them (with the #1 slot being the category of persons who are most important to them)(also noting that gender trumps degree of helpfulness):
(1) BM who do very little for them.
(2) BM who do nothing for them.
(3) BM who harm them or their interests.
(4) BW who sometimes do some things for them. [Most AABW have a real problem with practicing on-par reciprocity with other AABW.]
(5) BW who consistently do a lot for them (they’re not prioritized because other BW take them and their support for granted).
(6) BW harm other BW’s interests.
(7) BW who do nothing for them.
Also by contrast with everybody who is something other than an AABW, here’s how most AABW prioritize people with reference to degrees of shared ethnic identity (with the #1 slot being the category of persons who are most important to them):
(1) Any and all Black males, including random, non-related, non-kin BM. Including BM who—by their actions and statements—have demonstrated that they mistreat, abuse, and hate BW (oh, like Ar-ruh Kelly, Chris Brown, Kevin Hart, etc.). Including the anti-AA bigots among various groups of random, non-related, non-kin foreign-origin (non-AA) Blacks.
(2) Foreign-origin, non-AA Blacks, including random, non-related, non-kin, foreign-origin non-AA Blacks (like Lupita, Nicky Minaj, etc.).
(3) Random nonblack “people of color,”, including random, non-related, non-kin biracials, Latinos, Asians, Native Americans. Including the anti-Black racist bigots among these various groups of random, non-related, non-kin nonblacks.
(4) Self—as an AABW, and other AABW and girls. Last. Dead last.
Some AABW have slight differences in the middle ranks of how they prioritize people according to degrees of ethnic/racial closeness. Other AABW have slight differences in the middle ranks of how they prioritize people according to how much those persons do for them.
But what the vast majority of “typical” AABW have in common is that they consistently put themselves and their own interests as African-American Black women dead last. This upside-down, backwards way of setting priorities is a large part of why AABW and girls are in the condition they’re in.

Let me emphasize: Everybody’s perfectly free and welcome to set their own priorities however they wish. Any AA Black woman who wants to prioritize the interests of folks who are something other than AA Black women (over their own interests as an AABW) is perfectly free and welcome to do so.

I’m only talking about why I do what I do, and why I advocate what I advocate. God respects free will, and so do I."

If You’re Going To Socialize With Non-AAs, You Need To Understand They DON’T View The World The Way Most AAs Do

I talked about this specifically in terms of foreign-origin Blacks in the post Pay Attention to Nuances When Black PeopleSay They “Don’t Understand What Black Means.” But it really applies to all types of non-AAs, not just foreign Blacks.

It’s funny. Over the years when I’ve brought up these issues, many gullible AABW have assumed that I’m angry with or dislike foreign Black folks. I don’t dislike them as a blanket category; and I'm not angry with them. Actually, I’ve interacted with them (and with other folks with 3rd world heritage) more than most “typical” AAs. Having been around 3rd world immigrants, I see them more clearly than most AAs do (in particular new school AAs). Because I’ve never looked at foreign Blacks or Latinos or Asians or immigrant Muslims through rose-petal filters. I never assumed that they viewed the world the way “mainstream” AAs do. Especially not the way most new school AAs view the world. They DON’T.

Here’s the primary difference that mainstream AAs (and in particular new school AAs) need to understand:

Mainstream AAs—especially new school AAs—go through life assuming that there are (and will always be) various outsider-created, stranger-created (typically government-created) safety nets in existence. That underlying belief has LOTS of implications and it impacts how people navigate social interactions in all sorts of ways. Big and small.

By contrast, 3rd-world heritage immigrants come from cultures and countries that typically don’t have stranger-created, government-created safety nets! Those cultures that do have functioning government-created safety nets like in South Korea or Japan, don’t expect those government-created services to pick up all the responsibilities of family. It typically doesn’t even occur to these people to expect strangers or the government to duplicate what they perceive as the traditional duties of family.
Which is why even though countries like South Korea are materially rich and technologically modern, they don’t function like the American welfare state culture. People there are raised and expected to take care of themselves and their families. And if you don't have a functioning family to look out for you, that's too bad for you. It's also a reason for others to avoid any overly close affiliation with you with since there's obviously something lacking in your bloodline.
In my view, old school AA culture is somewhere between the harsh realities underlying 3rd-world heritage immigrants’ view of the world and the Fantasy Island Entitlement new school AA mindset. Old school traditional AA culture didn’t coddle or cuddle up with dysfunction (out of wedlock childbearing, criminal activity, etc.).
Here are some examples of how these differing world views play out in terms of the “typical” person’s behavior.
If you as an AA have something they want, the “typical” African, Asian, Latino, immigrant Muslim, etc. is willing to pretend to be your friend in order to access that resource you have. If you’re married to a prominent or wealthy “Big Man” from their culture, the typical African, Asian, Latino, immigrant Muslim, etc. will act friendly with you in order to curry favor with that Big Man that you’re married to. Gullible AAs are quick to assume that these folks are grinning and skinning because they genuinely like the AA person. No, what they like is the resource or influence that AA person has access to (or is married to).
Third world folks are very practiced at utterly insincere grinning and skinning with whoever appears to be winning or successful. Especially grinning and skinning with those persons who are close to successful “Big Man” individuals from their cultures. Because this is a survival strategy—remember, there’s no safety net in their cultures.
I’m not saying that 3rd world-origin others are always insincere in their interactions with successful AAs (or AABW married to successful Big Men from their cultures). I am saying that these foreign Blacks (and others like Asians, immigrant Muslims, etc.) that you believe are your friends would NOT like you if they didn’t perceive you as successful or closely connected to a successful person. Unlike new school AAs, these people are not raised to cuddle up to losers and dysfunctional people.
Foreign Blacks and other foreigners are NOT raised to automatically expect strangers to feed, clothe, physically protect and otherwise provide for them. Whatever physical safety, food, and other resources they have will come through family, extended family, clan and assorted other connections.
By stark contrast with the new school AA “Imma do me” attitude that only works to the extent that there’s a stranger-generated, government-generated safety net to catch these folks as they burn various bridges by showing their butts. For now.
Another difference is that there’s no mercy or patience with losers in these cultures. They can’t afford it. Remember, there’s no stranger-created, government-created safety net in a lot of these 3rd world countries. By stark contrast with the new school AA Cuddle Up With & Coddle Losers values.
The overall pattern is that non-western, traditional 3rd world cultures tend to be absolutely merciless to dysfunctional people and other categories of “losers.” It's acceptable to actively piss on and step on losers in these societies. And unlike new school AAs, folks from those cultures who are “losers” know better than to expect other people to throw pity parties for them.
The bottom line is that there’s typically very little middle ground in these 3rd world peoples’ cultural behaviors: They're either grinning, skinning and trying to curry favor with people they perceive as winners. OR they're pissing on people they perceive as losers.
Since collectively, AAs are a losing group, people from these traditional 3rd world cultures are inclined toward pissing on AAs’ heads. Which is what they’re currently doing in venues like that The Rise Of The Black British Actor In America article. It’s not necessarily personal. That's just how many of these traditional 3rd world cultures “do.” These same people piss on the weaker or “loser” ethnicities and individuals back home in their own countries.
There’s no reason to be angry, it's just what they “do.” Because this is a survival strategy—remember, there’s NO safety net in many of their cultures. There’s no margin for pity parties and wasting resources on the dysfunctional, nonproductive nuts in these countries. It’s a harsh world in a lot of places.

You need to understand these dynamics if you plan on having productive interactions with foreign Blacks and other 3rd world folks.

As surprising as it may be to some of you, I'm not angry with these people. Because through friendships with various of them over the years, I've learned about the sort of cultural programming they've been raised within. In general, these people are raised to only act right with winners. I treasure some of the things I’ve learned from foreign friends over the years. I simply have firm boundaries in place to ensure that 3rd world foreigners never get the signal that it's a good idea or advisable to try to piss on me or anybody I care about. I would suggest you do the same.