This is NOT Legal Advice

I’m an attorney, but nothing I write here or anywhere else online is legal advice. You obtain legal advice by hiring a lawyer. I repeat: The following is NOT legal advice.

A former blog reader brought THIS post to my attention, and I was alarmed by what I read. I’m not one of Christelyn Karazin’s fans. But I don’t have to be one of her fans to care about the safety and well-being of African-American (AA) Black girls in general, including her oldest daughter.

I’m NOT giving legal advice, or any other type of advice in this post. I’m simply mentioning some things that I would do in such a circumstance. I’ll save the scolding and warning for new school AA women until the end of this post. I would:

Document everything this “Internet Ike Turner” has posted online that pertains oneself and one’s family. That means:

·         Taking screenshots, screen captures.

·         Using a media converter to record, I would convert and download any relevant videos this creep has posted online (YouTube, etc.).

·         Printing out any and all menacing emails this creep has sent.

·         And so on in order to gather every bit of evidence possible.

I would do this quickly. Before the creep realizes he might have created legal exposure for himself, and starts deleting these materials.

 

With the above evidence in hand, I would contact ALL law enforcement authorities in my area. Including the local FBI field office, the county sheriff’s office,  the state police, the local city or suburban police department, the local district attorney’s office, the local city attorney’s office.

It’s nice when blog readers respond to appeals for them to “flag” offensive content, but when you really want this type of problem solved—permanently—it’s often best to go to law enforcement and bring the full force and power of the government crashing down on the online stalkers’ heads.

I would start with law enforcement, because if there’s sufficient evidence of criminal activity, the authorities can and will crack down without a victim having to invest money into seeking justice.

If the authorities feel there’s not enough for them to act upon, my next step would be to see an attorney about any private legal remedies that might be available. The problem is that this means having to spend money to get relief from some creep’s inappropriate behavior.

*Scolding for AA Black Women Who Overshare Online*

This type of harassment is exactly why it’s extremely unwise to overshare personal information online. Y’all don’t seem to comprehend that you’re letting an entire PLANET of unknown freaks into your personal business when you overshare online.

You don’t know anything about the numbers of deranged freaks who lurk on your blogs and listen in to your online conversations. But these freaks know a lot about YOU. Meanwhile, far too many of you young’uns (and older women who should know better) act as if your public online conversations are somehow private.

This [poorly dubbed but still effective in getting the point across] German public service announcement tells the tale about how some of you are letting the world rush into your home through your computer:

 

I know that my reactions are colored by prior work experience in the legal system. I know that pedophiles (including some of the ones I represented in the past) use those online photos and videos so many of y’all post of your children as shopping catalogs, “wish lists,” and masturbation prompts. Many pedophiles do the same thing with school class photos of underage children.

If you don’t like the idea of your child’s image being used in such a manner, then STOP flossing photos of your kids!

Some of y’all are so caught up in looking for attention, praise, and validation from other readers online that you never stop to consider the dangers involved in giving out so much personal information. Major celebrities have security. You don’t. Your children don’t.

I’m sure many of you have never heard of Asia McGowan (who was murdered by a DBRBM who was spewing hatred toward BW on YouTube. He was spewing hatred in response to her innocuous YouTube videos), but I remember her. See the What About Our Daughters post “YouTube Facebook Murder: Black Woman Slaughtered by CrazedFellow YouTuber and Facebook Stalker-Detroit Police Ignored Warnings byYouTubers” 

I also remember the actress Rebecca Schaeffer, who was murdered by a deranged stalker in 1989. I’ve been security-conscious since the very beginning of my BWE online activism. I have consistently urged other BW online to get serious about safety considerations, including in the context of being a BW blogger. TableTalk For Activists, Part 7: An Open Letter To Black Women Bloggers, You Tubers,And Event Organizers 

I’m not telling you this to scare you. I’m telling you this so you can start making some sensible, well-considered choices about the type and amount of personal information you share online.

Over the years I’ve been horrified to watch how easy so many of y’all make it for a stalker to find you. AND to find your children. In giving out so much personal information, you’re giving deranged individuals options they shouldn’t have. They shouldn’t have the option of deciding whether or not to “reach out and touch you” (or your children) in person.

The easiest way to block freaks from having these kind of options is to deny them access to personal information about yourself and your children. You don't even have to affirmatively do anything. Simply refrain from excess blabbing online; and refrain from posting photos of your kids online. [If you’re willing to take action, you can tell friends and family that you don’t want them posting photos of your children online.]

To those for whom “the shoe fits,” I strongly urge you to stop leaving trails of online “breadcrumbs” leading freaks to your homes and your personal lives.

*Addendum*
Breukelen Bleu’s (BW Think Tank) recent Facebook post and comment about all of this says it ALL about the permanent nature of conquered BM's hatred for BW. I’m republishing her comment below:

Breukelen Bleu Thats why I did it that way too. Some folk know who I really am and thats fine. But I stopped using my real name and pics cuz these fools out here are a mess and honestly, you cant rely on the black woman collective to have your back. As much as we complain about bm not standing up for us, we dont stand up for each other, either. You put yourself out here tryna help your sistren and when it brings foolishness back to you, you might just find yourself assed out.

Im so glad that Christelyn Russell-Karazin told them niggas to FUCK OFF. SWP has tried to come for me a few times, but we know mutual folk and I sent word that he might not wanna go that route.

I am SO glad that she panned the BEAUTIFUL backdrop of her surroundings at the end of the vid cuz she is right- the problem that these bum negros have is the idea that a DARK SKINNED BLACK AMERICAN WOMAN (not mixed race, not black hispanic, not black foreign or even African), is living well and a white man is helping her do it. The issue that is never really addressed with this so-called 'gender war' within the bc, is that at its core the anger that black males have with us is not about our hair, our attitudes or our looks. Its about their ultimate, visceral and primal HATRED of the Source of their Creation, and their desire to see us be wretched, unloved, uncared for, unprotected...and enslaved to them and their needs. This goes way beyond the emotional - its a PSYCHOLOGICAL pathology that stems from their own anger at being black MEN in a white mans world, with no power and no pride. All the rants and raves are just an excuse. The vitriol speaks to something much greater than black womens supposed affinity to feminism and our love for 'hair hats'. Its comes to a desire to see us HURT, in PAIN and WITHOUT HELP. Every harsh word, mean thought, evil act or abandonment of us and our children, is little more than hatred for themselves. They hate us because we create them and they hate themselves because they have been defeated - and are STILL being defeated. So to see us being validated, vindicated, and living a wonderful live, edified by the very men who they feel have denied them THEIR due, hits them in a primal place that they cant even put words too. Its like a person who was abused as a baby, and cant remember the abuse but acts out because of it. They dont even KNOW why they hate us so much- it cant be reasoned. All the excuses are just covers for something they cant quite name, but feel, desperately. So the ultimate goal is not to dismantle the system that conquered them or the win within the system that oppresses them -

But to destroy THEIR OWN IMAGE by destroying the womb that produced it. Living in patriarchy provides the frame work to hide their particular form of hatred for us. Under the guise of the accepted ideas of Man > woman > child, they are able to push forward their unique agenda of our destruction, which is not simply just the 'folly of male domination' but a fixed and lazer view desire to see BLACK women fail. Its even WORSE than what non-black males have done to us, because we dont BIRTH non-black males. We birth BLACK men and when your OWN Creation turn on you, its about much more than politics or economics. This shit is down to the bone - to the SPIRITUAL level and no amount of 'black love' gone fix it. Unless and until the black male begins to find love for HIMSELF and his own PERSONHOOD, despite his MANHOOD having been compromised within this system, he will continue to work on both the personal and collective level to DESTROY the image of his Mother.

Period.

And those who dont actively work to do so, will do so by omittance. They will stand back and allow the more vocal, dangerous and deadly of them, to destroy black women, the black community, and ultimately, themselves. They can talk about the white man all they want. The truth is, their greatest hatred is not of "whitey" - but of the black woman who didnt create them as white men. Its like a child born with AIDs hating their parents for infecting them with AIDS. You hate that you never stood a chance of experiencing live WITHOUT AIDS because your MOTHER gave it to you - its a part of your genetic code. And all the suffereing and stigma you endure because of it, ultimately, goes back to her. For black men, BLACKNESS is a defect. And they hate black women - their black MOTHERS - for infecting them with it. THAT is the thing that is rarely discussed. And until THAT is dealt with, NOTHING will save this race.

NOTHING.

So a woman like Christelyn Russell-Karazin, with her beautiful children (including a absolutely GORGEOUS dark skinned daughter who clearly got her beauty from her MOTHER), her wonderful husband, her successful career as a blogger and leader in the BW Swirl Movement, not having to slave away at a stressful 9-5 and not having to model STRUGGLE as the vanguard of what it means to be black and female...

THAT is the ULTIMATE betrayal to them. How DARE we black women thrive in the system that keeps bm losing? How DARE we not simply wither and die on the vine while they mentally, emotionally, economically, romantically and genetically abandon us in our communities? How DARE we live the good life, with beautiful settings in good zip codes where our children wont have to go through metal detectors and get sniffed by police dogs just get into school? How DARE we decide that we will find the love, honor, respect and ELEVATION that they have denied us - elsewhere? THIS is the ultimate sin for a black woman, because it lets bm know that we will not agree to this arrangement of one sided loyalty and hatred from the very sons WE birth - and we will not agree that we are unworthy, unlovable and unappealing. We will not CONFIRm their hatred of us, by hating ourselves. THAT is what bothers them most about black women like Christelyn.

So guess what? In the end, THE BEST REVENGE IS SUCCESS (and maybe throwing some bad mojo their way, but thats another discussion. LOL) and when black women WIN! it totally undoes their ability to destroy us;

Our image. Our bodies. Our minds. Our babies. Our souls.

There is a scene in the movie, Sankofa, where a man who was the product of rape of black slave woman by a white man, so full of self hatred because of his lot in life as a mixed race slave who DESPERATELY wanted the freedom, power and position of the white man, KILLS his own mother in a fit of rage and psychological breakdown. He HATED her for creating HIS suffering, by the meer fact that she BIRTHED him.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108041/

THIS is what i believe is actually fueling this 'gender war' in the black community. And because of it, no matter HOW much black women lean in and try to be there for black men, we will NEVER be redeemed by them. Only the act of turning away MIGHT stimulate them to realize what they are losing. They are afflicted with a mass MENTAL ILLNESS. You cannot 'love' a mental pathology away. And you cannot 'love' a psychotic who is running at you with a knife. You must remove yourself from them to save yourself. And after you do so, life doesnt end. You move on and strive to THRIVE because you are WORTHY, even if they arent.

I am SO glad she SHOWED her success ON CAMERA. Because i can GUARANTEE you, NONE of the fools who support SWP lives look ANYTHING remotely close to what her day to day life looks like. If it did, they wouldnt have time to sit and create thousands of videos coming for us. They'd be too busy living and loving their fabulous lives, with their devoted wives, adoring children and beautiful legacy.

11 mins · Edited

Table Talk For Activists, Part 7: An Open Letter To Black Women Bloggers, You Tubers, And Event Organizers

This essay is contained in my new book. I'm delighted to announce that The Sojourner's Passport site has launched! You can visit it at http://www.sojournerspassport.com/.

Everyone, I can't thank you enough for your ongoing encouragement and support; I truly appreciate it. Your support is what made this possible. And here's a special shout-out to my web designers at Educo Web Design. They're nice people to deal with, and they do outstanding work!

Peace and blessings,
Khadija Nassif
______________________________________________

I've already discussed the public handling of Internet Ike Turners in an earlier post. http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2009/03/table-talk-for-activists-part-4.html Now, in light of subsequent events, I feel the need to mention some behind the scenes precautions that women who have an online presence need to take. Here's a comment that I made in response to one of Faith's recent posts (she's the blog host of Acts of Faith In Love And Life, which is on my sidebar blogroll). I've added links to several news stories:

"Well, first things first: I believe that every woman blog host and YouTuber needs to take security issues seriously. I remember reading a news story a while back about how women blog hosts across the board (and no matter how innocuous their subject matter) are so much more likely to be blog stalked and harassed by male readers. http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0geu5Xo4H5KvfwA9uVXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTEybzQ3Z2gwBHNlYwNzcgRwb3MDMwRjb2xvA2FjMgR2dGlkA0Y4NjFfNzg-/SIG=12btiv5t8/EXP=1249915496/**http%3a//abcnews.go.com/GMA/Technology/story%3fid=3104264

Meanwhile, so many women (especially AA women) have been programmed to nervously laugh off male acts of aggression. For example, I'm thinking of a disgruntled BF reader at my blog who was angry when I made a comment about this a while back.

She characterized my comments as paranoid; and defiantly stated that she was not going to "live in fear," etc. In other words, she was not going to take online security issues seriously, nor was she going to take DBR-Black male commenters' online aggression seriously. She took this posture even though the hate comments from DBRBM had driven her off her own blog! Even though she shut down her own blog due to BM harassment, she ANGRILY ran to another BW's blog to badmouth me because I talked about security issues. The mind boggles.

All of this was before a young Black woman named Asia McGowan was murdered by a DBRBM who was spewing hatred toward BW on YouTube. He was spewing hatred in response to her innocuous YouTube videos. http://www.whataboutourdaughters.com/2009/04/youtube-facebook-murder-black-woman-slaughtered-by-crazed-fellow-youtuber-and-facebook-stalker-detroit-police-ignored-warnings-by-youtubers/

[Incidentally, there's a BM website that hails this killer as a hero. I'm not going to name it. I don't give publicity to racist/violent/sexist sites.]

In any event, I strongly urge all women blog hosts to:

(1) Keep track of the trolls' IP addresses and geographical locations;

(2) Maintain a log of print outs of the trolls' comments (whether you publish them on your blog or not---you need to keep a file on these nuts);

(3) And most importantly, be prepared to call your local FBI field office, local law enforcement, and local law enforcement in the troll's jurisdiction THE MOMENT the troll submits a comment that you feel is in any way threatening!

In terms of this latest DBR-killer, it just goes to show that despite the seeming differences between various types of nuts (racists, DBRBM, sexists, religious fanatics, etc.), what they ALL have in common is that they HATE women. Peace, blessings and solidarity."

Ladies, an Internet Ike Turner has already KILLED a young African-American woman. He wasn't the only Internet Ike Turner that's capable of, and eager to commit, violence against women. There are others. Many others.

While browsing through various blogs, I can see that many of the African-American women commenting online haven't really let this sink in. There is still hesitation in their voices about calling law enforcement on those Internet Ike Turners that make threats. It's as if you don't want to acknowledge that many of these nuts would like to physically harm you.

Many of you want to minimize the threat by pretending that it's all about a particular Internet Ike Turner's mental illness. And yes, from what readers have sent me of their ramblings, several of them are clearly mentally ill. But in focusing on any particular Ike's probable mental illness, you're missing the main point. The main point is that the Internet Ike Turners are threats. Threats to be managed by proper security precautions and techniques. To a woman who is wounded, maimed or killed by an Internet Ike Turner (like Asia McGowan) does it matter if they're mentally ill? NO, it doesn't matter.

A secondary point that many women want to fixate on is that the mentally ill Ikes are encouraged and supported by a viciously sexist African-American subculture that supports violence against Black women and girls. Modern African-American culture supports, encourages, and excuses all sorts of violence against Black women and girls. From the sexual molestation of Black girls that R. Kelley's Black fans support, to the beating of women that Chris Brown's Black fans loudly support. Does any of this matter to a woman who is wounded, maimed, or killed by an Internet Ike Turner? NO, it doesn't matter.

Ladies, focus on what matters! What matters is taking proper security precautions for your online and offline activities. I would strongly urge you to take the steps I've outlined above in terms of your online work.

In terms of any offline gatherings that you sponsor, I would strongly urge you to hire security. From what I've been told, several Internet Ike Turners are making threats of physically disrupting future events sponsored by and for African-American women. You need to take these threats seriously and prepare for them.

As an additional step, I would urge event organizers to hire a private investigator to film and photograph EVERY Black male that:

(1) Seeks entry into the event (since they have no legitimate reason for being there unless they are an invited speaker); and/or

(2) loiters around outside the event; and/or

(3) appears to be watching who's going in and out of any event that you're sponsoring.

Some of the Internet Ike Turners might not be bold enough to try to physically crash your event; but some of them will want to conduct hostile surveillance on the Black women who attend your event. You need to watch the people who are watching you. This is what law enforcement agencies do in terms of filming activists at protest marches.

Ladies, get real about your own safety and the safety of your guests.

Portraits in Activism: Larry Kramer

Larry Kramer is one of my activist heroes. I believe that aspiring activists can learn a lot from his example. He helped found both Gay Men's Health Crisis and ACT-UP. Here are some excerpts from FRONTLINE: the age of aids: interviews: larry kramer/PBS [My comments are in blue]: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/aids/interviews/kramer.html

"In 1978, your novel Faggots caused a lot of controversy in the gay community. What was its core message?

Faggots is basically about a person looking for love at that time in our history and not finding it. He comes to the conclusion at the end of a weekend of high living that having so much sex makes finding love impossible.

I question that it's always called controversial; it really wasn't. It created a big stir and made a lot of people quite angry, but it also made a lot of people very happy, and I got thousands of letters from gay people saying, "Thank you for telling it like it really is." The controversy such as it was came from the entrenched people who believe that f***ing is a civil right and that I was imposing on that. ...

It's always been very difficult to criticize -- and this is one of the main problems that caused AIDS -- it's been very difficult to criticize what we do publicly because it's considered a civil right and a private thing, which it certainly is. But when you start killing everybody, it sort of passes on into another category.

[(emphasis added) I agree. When irresponsible promiscuity (and its products such as out of wedlock births) starts KILLING people and DESTROYING communities, then it slips out of the private matter category and becomes a matter of public safety. Go, Larry!]

... How and when did you become aware that a mysterious illness was beginning to strike down gay men?...What made you so alarmed? It was just a few indicators at that point.

Because the article pointed out something that if you had half a brain you would begin to put two and two together. All of the [cases] had a similar history of communicable diseases. We'd all had syphilis, gonorrhea, amoebas mainly. ... So when I saw this business about [Kaposi's sarcoma], I said, "It's like the next bump up the ladder." It just made so much sense to me, [complete] and utter sense. I knew from day one. I just knew it, and I just to this day can't understand why everybody else didn't know it. Everybody had to be blind not to know it, especially when they said, "We think it's a virus."

No one said that loud enough, unfortunately, and gays refused to believe it, because they took the stand of "Oh, they're just saying that to interfere with our civil rights again; they're trying to take away our sex life," ... the most stupidest thing, the most destructive thing gays have ever done, people have ever done, in the entire history of man, by taking that attitude, by refusing to think, hey, I will cool it until they find something. ... I was a pariah because I said, "Cool it." People would cross the street rather than walk on the same side of the street with me.

[Does this attitude of "How dare you criticize us for being promiscuous AND irresponsible?" sound familiar?]

What were the consequences of the Reagan administration's inattention to AIDS?

Seventy million people have now been infected with AIDS. He's not the only one. Every president who has been in the White House since has had the same attitude. ...

And when he died, I think you called Ronald Reagan "Adolf Reagan."

Adolf Reagan, yes, responsible for the death of more gay people than anybody in the world, than Hitler. I believe it, and I can't see why people challenge me when I say these things. He's that much a beloved a**hole. ... This is the worst disaster in history that you're talking about. You cannot talk about it calmly, and any of your people who talk about it calmly, you shouldn't listen to; you really shouldn't.

[Being "reasonable" isn't always a virtue. In the face of certain atrocities, it's a sin.]

... Why do gay activists find themselves at loggerheads with the FDA [Food and Drug Administration]? What was the nature of the argument?

When stuff started to need to be tested and approved, when ACT UP literally broke into the FDA offices in Rockville, [Md.], we discovered horrendous things. Foremost among them was that every report was written in longhand. They didn't have computer[s]; they didn't have typewriters for all we could tell. And it took 10 to 12 years on average to get a drug approved of any kind for any illness. People want to know why it took so long? That's why. Stupid things like that.

Well, we didn't have 10 or 12 years, and during the reign of ACT UP, we reduced that 12 years to less than one. That's what ACT UP accomplished. It took us a long time, took us a lot of screaming and yelling, a lot of protest. ... [Breaking into FDA offices. That's BOLD] ...Joe Papp, my great producer at the public theater, had his shop make an effigy of Frank Young, who was head of the FDA, and we hung him in effigy from gallows that we erected outside of the stock market... [{chuckling} I bet as the head of a normally non-controversial agency, Mr. Young never expected to find himself hung in effigy. That probably caught his attention.]

But do you think ACT UP's tactics alienated general public opinion?

Who gives a s***? I'm so sick of that. You do not get more with honey than you do with vinegar; you just do not. If it makes them angry enough, maybe they'll say why are they angry. I mean, we were in jail all the time -- I cannot tell you how many. We had a cadre of lawyers who did nothing but get us out of jail. ... Professional people were leaving their jobs to come and be activists, because it was getting desperate and they were frightened, literally. The legal work that GMHC was turning out at that time was being done by partners from major New York law firms. It was amazing; it was totally amazing. These two organizations changed history. AIDS would never have been attended to without GMHC, and the drugs would not be out there if it had not been for ACT UP.

[This is the bottom line. A LOT of people (including Blacks) owe their lives to the fact that ACT-UP was NOT "reasonable" or "nice."]

...A very strange thing has happened in the post-AIDS generation. I don't know what to call them; it's not really post-AIDS, but let's call them the healthier, younger ones. They don't want to know. They don't want to know the old people; they don't want to know the history; they don't want to acknowledge that the people who died were even part of their history. I talk about this a lot. How can you dare to ignore everything that happened? These people died so that you could live. Those drugs are out there because people died for them. [It's] shocking what's going on now in the gay population. I have lost a great deal of pride in being gay. ...

I don't think people are as frightened of getting infected now because all these medicines are out there, so if by chance they get drugged up and their guards are down that night and they don't use a condom, they're prepared to take that chance occasionally. That's just so dumb.

While the new drugs are marvelous compared to the old drugs, they are still incredibly complicated to take. Not everybody can take them. I'm lucky. There are side effects with all of them. Women particularly have a terribly hard time with these drugs, because these drugs are all developed on men, which is a whole other issue. ... You can go nuts on some of the drugs. I had to go off one because literally my lover and I just fought over and over again. I had no idea why. It just makes you manic in some people. But it's a very effective drug, and it's very useful to people who can take it. ...

This is the devil's bargain you make for all this. To get a drug approved quickly, the drug has not been tested as long as they used to test drugs -- years and years and years and years before they would approve them. What we're discovering now is that all of these drugs -- and there are a great many of them, thank God -- have different interactions with each other, a lot of them not very good, and you have to stay on top of them and have your blood constantly monitored, and you have to constantly find new ways to monitor them and new tests to take. ...

So living with these drugs is no bed of roses.

It isn't, and that's why I say yes, they certainly are easier to take than the old ones, but it's no bed of roses. "

I always liked the first two sentences of ACT-UP demonstration chants, "ACT-UP! Fight back!" The "Age of AIDS" is still with us. Along with so many other life-threatening circumstances that confront us. With all of these issues, there is NO cavalry riding to the rescue for Black women. Maybe we should rescue ourselves. Black women: ACT-UP! Fight back! Live well!

Table Talk for Activists, Part 6: Backbiting & Other Destructive Forms of Disagreement

This essay is contained in my new book. I'm delighted to announce that The Sojourner's Passport site has launched! You can visit it at http://www.sojournerspassport.com/.

Everyone, I can't thank you enough for your ongoing encouragement and support; I truly appreciate it. Your support is what made this possible. And here's a special shout-out to my web designers at Educo Web Design. They're nice people to deal with, and they do outstanding work!

Peace and blessings,
Khadija Nassif
____________________________________________

Backbiting Is Usually The Result of Mishandling a Disagreement

Upon reflection, I realized that backbiting is usually the result of the backbiter mishandling disagreement. It begins when the backbiter discovers that she's unable to get the other person to agree with her. The backbiter then starts going to various other venues to disparage the person who disagreed with them. I've watched this happen repeatedly with commenters on various blogs.

Here's the typical scenario for this:

The commenter is unable to get the blogger to agree with her. The commenter then tries to "flip the script," and claim that the blogger that they are backbiting is intolerant of dissent. From the scenarios that I silently observed before I even started my own blog, that's not these backbiters' true issue at all. Their REAL issue is that they were unable to get the blogger to change their position. And instead of gracefully agreeing to disagree, they skulk off to other forums to whine about how the blogger would not change their position to agree with them.

This is dysfunctional AND destructive behavior. Let's talk about the constructive management of disagreements.

Recognize That Most Disagreements Will Be Managed, and NOT Resolved

The first step is to recognize that most disagreements will be managed, and not resolved. As Frank Hecker stated in his essay Handling Disagreements in Open Collaborative Projects, he strongly believes that "in the context of open collaborative projects it is not possible to definitively resolve all disagreements to the satisfaction of those disagreeing; I believe instead that in the real world the best we can hope for is to manage disagreements well enough to get some work done."

I agree with Mr. Hecker. In the context of Black women's empowerment blogs, the point (as I see it) is to work together to pursue our broader, shared goals. NOT to convert other discussion participants to every, single tenet of our personal beliefs.

Recognize the Difference Between Critical and Non-Critical Points of Disagreement

In order to work together to pursue broader, shared goals we actually have to have shared goals. Trying to work with people who do not share one's goals automatically leads to infighting. Even if a group of people have shared goals, they also need to have shared core values in order to be able to cooperate enough to get work done. Trying to work with people who do not share one's core values automatically leads to infighting.

For example, I believe in economic empowerment for Black women. However, I would not be able to cooperate with persons who feel that it is appropriate for Black women to seek this empowerment through the sex trade.

The problem with how many of us handle disagreement is that we inflate every point of disagreement into a false core value. Through our emotions, we turn every point of disagreement into a "dealbreaker." Whether or not the disagreement is over an actual core value, we need to learn to gracefully walk away from disagreements.

Gracefully Walk Away From The Disagreement

People create a lot of unnecessary friction and strife when they refuse to gracefully walk away from a disagreement. Instead of "agreeing to disagree" and moving on, they do destructive things. Sometimes they run to other venues to backbite the person who disagreed with them. Backbiting is when the target of the verbal attack isn't present to respond.

In addition to backbiting, there's another destructive behavior that I call "the running battle." This is where the combatants openly rehash and re-fight their battles with each other over and over at a never-ending series of venues. As a result, the strife that was originally contained within one setting is spread to multiple settings.

Another destructive behavior that people sometimes engage in is to stay and fight with the person who disagreed with them.

There are two main "stay and fight" techniques that I see a lot of. The first "stay and fight" technique is to needlessly rehash the original point of disagreement. It's one thing to state one's full position on an issue when it naturally comes up in discussion (including a point of disagreement). It's something else to continuously drag the point of disagreement into unrelated conversations.

The other "stay and fight" technique is to insist upon having the last word in a disagreement. I see this a lot with commenters on blogs, which always amazes me. It would never occur to me to expect to have the last word about a topic in somebody else's "house." Especially if the person I'm disagreeing with is the blog host!

On this blog, I will at times allow dissenting readers to have the last word in a disagreement. I try to be a gracious host. However, I won't do that if I feel that the point of disagreement is of critical importance. Also, people need to understand that they are not entitled to have the last word in somebody else's house. That's a courtesy that might be extended, not a requirement.

Gracefully walking away should be the general practice whether the disagreement is about a "dealbreaker" issue or not. If it's about a "dealbreaker," engaging in destructive behavior (such as backbiting and staying to fight) will likely create an extra, unnecessary enemy. If the disagreement is about a non-essential matter, engaging in destructive behavior will make it difficult (if not impossible) to cooperate with that person in pursuit of broader, shared goals.

Over the last century, many Muslim reformers such as Hassan al-Banna (the founder of the Muslim Brotherhood) have recognized the activists' organizing principle that we should cooperate on the issues we agree upon, and excuse one another on the issues we differ on. I believe that this is good advice.

Two Never-Known or Mostly-Forgotten News Stories That Explain Why Introspection And Activism Matter

While we're digesting the recent Table Talk for Activists discussions, I feel that it would be good to keep all of this in what I believe is its proper context.

In addition to the Dunbar Village Atrocity, there were two (mostly never-known or mostly forgotten by those who knew) news stories that propelled me out of my earlier sense of semi-complacency about the condition of the African-American collective. In its own way, each incident speaks to the near-total reign of barbarism in the former Black community. Each incident speaks to the Rwanda/Congo-type conditions that are right around the corner. Each incident speaks to what is at stake with our online work. In places like Dunbar Village, Rwanda has already arrived.

Darius Miller

http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/freshloaf/2009/01/28/apollo-holmes%E2%80%99-suicide-a-dead-end-in-case-of-comatose-trainer/

Our (mis)leaders, who are so concerned about accused Black male criminals, don't seem to know or care about Darius Miller. I find it interesting to note that the Black women in Atlanta who responded so enthusiastically to the violence-prone buffoons of the Jena 6, haven't said a peep about a Black man who was beaten into a coma for defending Black women from DBRBM.

I haven't forgotten about Mr. Miller.

Shontae Blanche

http://articles.latimes.com/2007/nov/07/local/me-runover7

While the Internet Ike Turners and Ikettes are angrily denying the need for Black women to expand their marriage horizons, there are Black women literally dying over a perceived shortage of potential mates. These women believe that there is a "man shortage" because the only men they are considering are Black men. There are plenty of loving and lovable men other than the dwindling number of eligible Black men.

The idea of a crowd of grown, African-American women fighting to the death over the affections of a Negro criminal is horrible enough. The background details of the victim's life were also disturbing (from the Los Angeles Times story above):

The mourners said it was unlike the 22-year-old to be involved in a violent dispute.

"If she would've had any idea what she was getting into, she wouldn't have come," said Brenda Rowry, Blanche's aunt.

At her childhood home in a neighborhood about three miles northwest of the fatal confrontation, Blanche's grandmother and cousin remembered her as a popular girl and bank worker who was determined to avoid trouble.

"She would tell me, 'I'm not going to be like my mom,' " said Helen Hayes, 60, who raised her granddaughter. According to Hayes, both of Blanche's parents had been in and out of prison since Blanche was a young child.

Blanche, who was five months' pregnant and married to a man in prison, was looking forward to a future as a mother and to graduating from Cal State Northridge.

She hoped to become a parole officer and was 13 classes away from that goal, said a cousin, Argentine Hayes, 21.

Generations of dysfunction that has become normalized. And it's spreading. Next stop, Rwanda.

Table Talk for Activists, Part 5: Handling Ikettes

This essay is contained in my new book. I'm delighted to announce that The Sojourner's Passport site has launched! You can visit it at http://www.sojournerspassport.com/.

Everyone, I can't thank you enough for your ongoing encouragement and support; I truly appreciate it. Your support is what made this possible. And here's a special shout-out to my web designers at Educo Web Design. They're nice people to deal with, and they do outstanding work!

Peace and blessings,
Khadija Nassif

Table Talk for Activists, Part 4: Handling Internet Ike Turners

This essay is contained in my new book. I'm delighted to announce that The Sojourner's Passport site has launched! You can visit it at http://www.sojournerspassport.com/.

Everyone, I can't thank you enough for your ongoing encouragement and support; I truly appreciate it. Your support is what made this possible. And here's a special shout-out to my web designers at Educo Web Design. They're nice people to deal with, and they do outstanding work!

Peace and blessings,
Khadija Nassif
_________________________________________

If you are a Black woman blog host who supports Black women and girls, you have to be prepared to handle the Internet Ike Turners that are guaranteed to show up at your site. [Head scarf flutter to Gina, blog host of What About Our Daughters for coining the phrase "Internet Ike Turners."]

Internet Ike Turners are Black men who are enraged at the very idea that any Black woman, anywhere, is thinking about any issue in terms of Black women's interests. You see, Internet Ike Turners are determined to maintain the current status quo of "Black interests" being defined solely as whatever benefits Black men, period.

Internet Ike Turners [IITs] euphemistically refer to this status quo of Black male empowerment at the expense of Black women and children as "Black unity." And they will attack any forum that questions or challenges this status quo.

If you use your blog to question this status quo, then they will attack YOU. They will also seek to disrupt your blog discussions.

RECOGNIZING COMMON IIT TACTICS

The first step to handling this type of online aggression is to recognize it for what it is: an attack. Too many Black women bloggers misread this behavior as legitimate dissent and discussion. That's not what the behavior is about at all. It's about derailing, and shutting down, any discussion that might raise Black women's consciousness. I'll focus on the IITs' favorite attack techniques, but please take the time to read the entire linked article called "25 Tactics for Truth Suppression:" http://www.benfrank.net/disinfo This article covers the full range of disruptive tactics.

Play Indignant

Avoid discussing any of the points that are raised, and instead talk about how offended you are by the very premise of the discussion. Naive opponents will discuss and debate the merits of your decision to take offense at the discussion.

Hit and Run

Leave a short, sarcastic comment and then run off before anyone can respond. An alternative is to return to leave other comments while ignoring other participants' responses to your original comment. Naive opponents will continue to respond to you, instead of moving the discussion forward without you.

Straw Man

Misrepresent your opponent's argument into something that's weaker and easier for you to rebut. Spend all of your comments responding to this fake, straw man argument, and NOT to anything your opponent actually said.

Deny Reality

Act and speak as if the very real, very negative circumstances facing African-American women don't exist. Act and speak as if the African-American collective is a paradise filled with stable, loving, married households. Act and speak as if the masses of Black men are protecting and providing for Black women and children. In short, deny reality. Imitate the posture of 1950s Southern racists who just knew that their "darkies" had every reason to be happy living under segregation; and would be happy if it wasn't for "outside Communist agitators."

Naive opponents will start discussing and debating the existence of your alternate reality, instead of the original issue at hand.

Invoke [Invented, Skewed] Statistics to Deny Reality

This is a variation of the above technique. Naive opponents will start discussing and debating the merits of your fake statistics, instead of the original issue at hand.

Start a Flame War

Say something insulting or condescending to goad opponents into emotional responses. This way you can shift the conversation away from the issue at hand, and onto other people's emotionalism. For extra credit points, leave a link in your insulting comment to an IIT blog in order to lure opponents there to be insulted some more.

Change the Subject

This tactic is usually used in combination with at least one of the other tactics listed. It's also the ultimate goal of all of the earlier tactics.

STAY ON POINT: STOP HOLDING TOWN HALL MEETINGS FOR INTERNET IKE TURNERS

The first error that many Black women bloggers make is not recognizing these disruptive tactics for what they are: attacks. The second error many women bloggers make is by entertaining this nonsense.

If you are an activist blog host, please understand that it is totally inappropriate to allow oppressors to use your blog to advance their agenda! You don't owe your oppressor "equal time." Would you allow the Klan to use your blog forum to spread their message? Well, the Internet Ike Turners are the same as the Klan. I think that sometimes we forget this.

As a blog host, unless you have the skills to successfully use the IITs' comments as "teachable moments," you probably should NOT publish their comments. By arguing with IITs, you are allowing them to re-direct the discussion away from the original point, and away from your discussion goals.

For audience members, the most productive response is usually to ignore the Internet Ike Turners' provocations, and stay focused on moving the discussion forward.

Table Talk for Activists, Part 3: Don't Delegitimize Your Struggle By Making "White People Are Doing 'It' Too" Arguments

This essay is contained in my new book. I'm delighted to announce that The Sojourner's Passport site has launched! You can visit it at http://www.sojournerspassport.com/.

Everyone, I can't thank you enough for your ongoing encouragement and support; I truly appreciate it. Your support is what made this possible. And here's a special shout-out to my web designers at Educo Web Design. They're nice people to deal with, and they do outstanding work!

Peace and blessings,
Khadija Nassif
__________________________________________

Whenever the topic of wrongs committed by Blacks comes up, there are always plenty of Black folks who link and measure our evil deeds with those of Whites. I believe that this traditional, knee-jerk response is a serious error. As much as we like to scream about how we're being victimized, many of us feel perfectly comfortable victimizing others.

The "White people are doing it too," or "White people did it worse," or "White people are doing it more" arguments are totally irrelevant when considering the evil of some of our people's actions. Furthermore, these arguments are: (1) ethically repugnant; and even worse, (2) a dangerous strategic liability in terms of African-Americans' long-term interests.

Ever since the Open Letter to Princeton Theological Seminary post, White, racist trolls from Princeton Theological Seminary (PTS) have been stalking several Black activist blogs. Muslim Bushido is one of the blogs that they've been stalking. It pleases me to know that these racists are still smarting from this blog's (and other blogs') call for justice regarding the hate crime at PTS. [Click on the "Say NO to Racism at Princeton" badge under the masthead for more details]

I had a brief exchange with one of the racist PTS trolls in the comment section of the Negative National Security Impact of Damaged Beyond Repair Black Men post. This particular racist said:

"In all fairness to black guys, white guys are the original DBR. We just didn't just go rape some people.. we colonizied a bunch of people, wiped out some civilizations and started a couple of world wars. Black men have a looooooong way to go to match that. And really.. who do muslims hate more than evil, white, European guys?"

I responded:

"Anonymous:

Hmmm. You could be a DBRBM pretending to write in as a WM. {No...your anonymous note doesn't have quite the "right" tone for that}

Or your primary issue could be that you're an anti-Muslim bigot of any ethnicity. {No...that doesn't sound quite right either}

Or, you could be one of the Princeton Theological Seminary (PTS) racists who is still smarting from this blog's, and other blogs', call for justice at PTS . . . DING! DING! DING! By George, I think that's it! Funny how you're still stalking activist Black blogs.

Whatever. {yawn} It really doesn't matter. Ayatullah Murtaza Mutahhari gave a concise summary of the Islamic position in his book Social and Historical Change: An Islamic Perspective: "Islam is oriented toward justice and equality. Plainly, those who benefit from this orientation are the deprived and oppressed, and those who lose are the plunderers, monopolists, and exploiters. Even where Islam works to secure the rights and interests of a class, its primary aim is to realize a value, to found a humane principle." pg. 119.

Muslims have a problem with whoever it is that's doing something wrong. Remember that, Anonymous.

With justice in mind."

As the exchange continued, the racist troll was very eager to try to elicit a "White people have done 'it' worse" response from me. You may ask, "Why would a White racist WANT to hear a Black person agree with the 'White people have done 'it' worse' argument?" Answer: Because these sorts of arguments almost always serve his (racist) interests! In many different ways.

Making "White People Are Doing 'It' Too, etc." Arguments Serves to Delegitimize Your Struggle

Let me explicitly point out the strategic danger of engaging in the "White people are doing it too, etc." framing of issues related to Black folks' wrongdoing. White racists like to hear that sort of reasoning and arguments from Black folks. The racists like it because these type of arguments serve to delegitimize our struggles for justice!

The "White folks are doing 'it' too" type of arguments let everyone know that the speaker is NOT interested in justice. It lets everyone know that the speaker is NOT taking a stand based on principle, but instead on the basis of ethnic favoritism of some sort.

Engaging in the "White people are doing 'it' too", etc." arguments plays into White racists' public relations strategy of characterizing our struggles as corrupt hustles and/or shakedowns.

When you make these sorts of arguments, you are helping to convince neutral, non-Black bystanders that your cause is unworthy of their support. Here's why:

Unless you have worked to establish an ACLU-type reputation for advocating on behalf of the U.S. Constitution across the board, it looks as if you simply want any and all Black criminals to go unpunished when you make these sorts of statements. It looks like you are callously disregarding the pain that Black predators have inflicted upon other people. It looks like you have no ethical center to your arguments. It looks like you have no concern for public safety. Finally, it looks like you have no common sense.

Non-Blacks have NO inherent interest in having Black predators go unpunished.

Those audience members who remember some of the other comments from the White racist PTS trolls, will recall that these racists assumed that we would NOT want a Black hate-crime perpetrator punished. They assumed that our calls for justice were actually calls for ethnic favoritism.

Over the years, you've heard some of the racists' pet phrases: "special treatment," "special interests," etc. You feed into this characterization by making "White people are doing 'it' too, etc." arguments. Please know that it seriously throws White racists off their game when you demand justice across the board.

White Racists Have Nothing to Lose by Admitting Their People's Past Crimes Such as Genocide, etc. YOU and YOUR Struggle Have a LOT to Lose by Making "White People are Doing 'It' Too, etc." Arguments.

Evia was quite incisive in her response, and pointed out several extremely important points about all of this. She correctly analyzed the troll's comments as:

". . . just another form of the same protective device to enable the DBRbm to continue their reign of brutalizing NON-WHITE females. Now just let these DBRbm start going into white communities raping 12 year old white girls and doing some the vile things they do to unprotected black girls, bw and other nonwhite women, there would be lynchings again in this country.

See, it’s easy for wm to make excuses for da po bm (IF that was a white person) on blogs and such, but you just let Tyrone go into those white communities raping little white girls and preying on ww and see what would happen. And any white person like your commenter (if s/he was white) who’d try to make excuses for them would be strung up too.

. . . I always point out to these folks that white folks know what they’ve done here, there, and everywhere because their historians document their heinous acts, but this is also why whites are willing to pump billion of dollars into THEIR military industrial complex. And this is why they knew/know they need nuclear weapons. Last time I checked, AAs don’t have a military and we don’t have any nuclear weapons.

. . . Whereas the white DBRs that your commenter mentioned are not held accountable (since their people control the United States military and nuclear weapons), AAs won’t have anything to protect us from the backlash that these damaged black males are causing."

She's absolutely right about all of that.

First of all, you should realize that the entire topic is a joke to the racist troll. He knows that his collective will NOT be held accountable for their history of genocide, slavery, etc. So he can make all the historical admissions he wants, without it undermining his people's interests. The additional joke for him is that he's dishonestly pretending to shed crocodile tears for long dead victims of color, while ignoring and brushing off the suffering of still-living victims of color.

When we join the racist troll (and others) in making the "White people are doing 'it' too, etc." arguments, we are undermining our people's interests. We are furthering the racist characterization of our struggles as ethnic favoritism-based hustles.

We are also driving away potential non-Black allies. You see, the only thing that non-Blacks usually hear from us are demands that Black criminals escape punishment. As well as a steady stream of excuses and denials of the evil done by some Blacks. They almost never hear any of us calling for any Black predator to be punished.

Secondly, keep in mind that racists do NOT wish you and other Black people well. They do NOT want to see the African-American collective cleanse itself of the crime and evil within. Racists are quite comfortable when Black folks excuse and enable evils that these same racists would NEVER tolerate running rampant within their collective.

"White people are doing 'it' too, etc." arguments serve to excuse and enable evil. These sorts of arguments also undermine our long-term interests. It's long past time to stop using them.

Table Talk for Activists, Part 2: Make the Opponent Follow Their Own Rules

This essay is contained in my new book. I'm delighted to announce that The Sojourner's Passport site has launched! You can visit it at http://www.sojournerspassport.com/.

Everyone, I can't thank you enough for your ongoing encouragement and support; I truly appreciate it. Your support is what made this possible. And here's a special shout-out to my web designers at Educo Web Design. They're nice people to deal with, and they do outstanding work!

Peace and blessings,
Khadija Nassif
_______________________________

One of the rules for power that Saul Alinsky discussed in his book Rules for Radicals was the following: "Make the enemy live up to their own book of rules." This is sound advice for several reasons that I discussed in a comment to the post, An Open Letter to Princeton Theological Seminary:

"With my 'editorial' comments about all of this, I wanted to give the general audience an example of an inside view of 'lawyer think' that they can apply to situations.

My first step in evaluating any situation (or preparing a cross-examination of a witness) is to compare what the person did/is doing to what they're supposed to be doing.

Almost every institution and profession has rules, regulations, and codes of conduct that are supposed to govern people's conduct in various situations. Universities, government offices, etc. typically have their own internal rules & regulations. Each profession has its own ethical code of conduct that is established by leading organizations within that profession (ABA, AMA, etc.).

So, with a university situation, my first step is to look at the Student Handbook to see what sorts of things are (or should be) covered by disciplinary rules. The next step is to look at the disciplinary rules themselves. This gives an objective guide for evaluating a university's response to an outrage. . . .

. . . Comparing their actions to their own rules and codes of conduct also prevents activists from being confused by defensive, bad-faith whining from racists about how 'we sponsored a 'healing & learning' festival. What else do you people want from us?!!'

I don't want some fake 'healing & learning' festival. As a first step, I want PTS to follow its own rules & regulations." [i.e., hold disciplinary hearings concerning all of the students involved]

Please know that most of the handbooks, internal regulations, etc. that I've seen are fairly straightforward. You don't have to be an expert to understand them.

I believe that part of the reason why some activists are easily tricked by their opponents' stalling tactics such as insincere calls for dialogue, healing festivals, etc. is because they haven't researched the rules that are supposed to govern how an institution handles a particular situation.

Insisting that, at minimum, an opponent follow their own rules strengthens an activist's position.

First, because it's hard for opponents to make deviating from their own rules sound reasonable. Second, most institutions' in-house attorneys will warn key players that deviating from known standards creates heightened exposure to lawsuits.

And finally, insisting that an opponent follow its own rules applies mental pressure to whatever semi-decent and decent people exist within the opponent organization. Most people like to have a self-image of being reasonable and fair. People like to have this self-image even when it's not accurate. Most people also like to believe that the organizations that they serve are lawful, legitimate institutions. NOT crime cartels.

Take the time to research whatever rules govern the situation you're mobilizing around. Knowing the applicable rules can only strengthen your activism.

Table Talk for Activists, Part 1: Support Principles, NOT Individuals

This essay is contained in my new book. I'm delighted to announce that The Sojourner's Passport site has launched! You can visit it at http://www.sojournerspassport.com/.

Everyone, I can't thank you enough for your ongoing encouragement and support; I truly appreciate it. Your support is what made this possible. And here's a special shout-out to my web designers at Educo Web Design. They're nice people to deal with, and they do outstanding work!

Peace and blessings,
Khadija Nassif
_____________________________________

We now have several generations of African-Americans who have never "come up" through, or experienced for themselves, the discipline of an actual social movement. Most of us have only seen social activism from the perspective of an outsider watching a television soundbite from some "big man" spokesperson/leader. Most of us have never seen the "nuts and bolts" of social activism. Nor have most of us made any real effort to study what happened with our predecessors in any great detail. I can see the negative effects of these deficits in some of the cyber-activism that I've witnessed over the past year or so.

One negative effect is that we are often reinventing wheels. Another effect is that we are being deceived and duped by the same anti-justice strategies that were in operation during the 1950s and 1960s.

Yet another effect is the general failure to think these matters through to the detriment of whatever efforts we are pursuing. I am NOT any sort of expert on activism. However, I was blessed to have participated in the anti-apartheid struggle when I was in college. Looking at what's going on now, I realize just how precious that experience was. For all of the above reasons, I feel the need to share what little experience I have. I feel the need for us to talk about some things related to activism.

To that end, let's have an ongoing series of "table talks" about the nuts and bolts of activism. Starting with Strategy #1: Support Principles, NOT Individuals.

Modern African-Americans are not the same type of people as our ancestors. We can see that just in comparing how resourceful our ancestors were versus how helpless we've learned to be. This fact has implications for activism. Aspiring activists need to recognize that modern Black victims of atrocities are NOT the same as past atrocity victims.

Modern Black victims of an atrocity will often behave in ways that are NOT helpful, and are actually contrary, to the cause of justice. The modern Black atrocity victim is often not looking for justice to be served. Instead, they are looking to be rewarded for their silence, or they are looking to hide within their silence. Either way, their actions make it that much harder for justice to be served. For examples of this, consider R. Kelly's many, many victims. Including the victim that was the subject of his recent criminal trial.

This means that activists need to make some decisions up front. What is more important in this particular situation? Catering to the victim's desire to get paid for their silence? Catering to the victim's desire to hide within silence? Or is there a greater collective interest that takes priority?

With the R. Kelly situation, I believe that there is a greater collective interest in getting a sexual predator off the streets. No matter what his past victims want. It is more important to me to prevent any more Black girls from being victimized in the future. As far as I'm concerned, his past victims do NOT get to decide that it's okay for the rest of our young Black girls to remain in danger because he's on the loose.

This has to be a case by case analysis. With each situation, we must weigh whether or not what any particular victim wants is endangering the rest of us. And ask ourselves are we willing to run that risk in order to accommodate the victim's wishes.

The bottom line is that many modern Black atrocity victims have wishes that are contrary to justice, and contrary to our collective interests. They will often do things that "burn" the people who supported them. This is why we must support principles, and not individuals.