We're Already Due For The Next Pandemic
From the WHO (World Health Organization) Influenza Pandemic Handbook for Journalists:
"A pandemic is an outbreak that affects the entire world. The avian influenza outbreaks in Southeast Asia remain largely geographically limited in scope and confined primarily to animals. But if the avian influenza virus changes into a fully transmissible human pandemic virus, it will most likely spread worldwide, affecting all populations, regardless of national boundaries or socio-economic status.
Influenza pandemics are rare but recurring events. They have typically occurred every 10-50 years throughout recorded history. In the 20th century, there were three pandemics: 1918 (caused approximately 40 million deaths), 1957 (caused more than two million deaths) and 1968 (caused approximately one million deaths). Because they bring an abrupt surge in illness and deaths, pandemics frequently overwhelm health services, and can cause severe social disruption and economic losses.
Once a fully transmissible human pandemic virus emerges, it is expected to encircle the globe within three months. Because a pandemic strain would be of a new subtype that had not previously circulated in humans, it is thought that it would be dangerous since the vast majority of the population would have no immunity to it." WHO Influenza Pandemic Handbook for Journalists, pg. 1 (emphasis added). http://www.who.int/csr/don/Handbook_influenza_pandemic_dec05.pdf
Nobody Knows, Or Nobody's Telling, How Many People Could Die in the Next Pandemic
In response to anyone wondering why the World Health Organization (WHO) keeps talking about potential pandemics, the handbook explains:
"Unfortunately, no one is able to accurately predict whether H5N1 [Khadija speaking: "H5N1" refers to the current bird flu strain] will actually trigger a pandemic--and if it does, we have no idea how long it might last or how deadly the virus will be. As a global public health organization, WHO has a responsibility to alert the international community when it appears that the world is moving closer to a pandemic.
It may be years before a pandemic hits the world, and it may ultimately be sparked by a virus other than H5N1. While WHO recognizes that openly talking about a pandemic threat may raise concerns worldwide, we would not be fulfilling our public health mandate if we were not to warn the world of this evolving threat." WHO Influenza Pandemic Handbook for Journalists, pg. 4.
In response to anyone wondering how many people could die in the next pandemic, the handbook explains:
"We don't know. It is impossible to predict how lethal the pandemic strain might be, so we can only guess how many people might die in the next pandemic. During past pandemics, the numbers of deaths varied greatly: in 1918, approximately 40 million people died, in 1957, more than two million people died, and in 1968, approximately one million people died. [I would think that the volume and pace of international travel in 1968 was much less than it is in the 21st century. I believe that it's important to note the huge numbers of people that died in pandemics before everyday people were flying around the world.]
Modelling research using today's global population has projected that at a minimum, between 2 and 7.4 million people might die in the next pandemic. More deaths are certainly possible, but until the pandemic strain emerges and we are able to determine its lethality and attack rate, it will be difficult to predict its impact worldwide.
Higher projections of deaths are in general based on extrapolations from the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic. More people died in 1918 from influenza than in a similar period from any other infectious disease ever, including smallpox and the plague. Thus, because the 1918 pandemic was the single most devastating infectious disease outbreak ever recorded, WHO does not feel it is appropriate to project future pandemic numbers based on such an exceptional event. [Gee, whatever happened to erring on the side of caution and preparing for worst-case scenarios?]
Still, however many people die in the next pandemic, there will be many more who become ill and require hospitalization." WHO Influenza Pandemic Handbook for Journalists, pg. 5 (emphasis added).
Obviously, You Don't Want to Get Caught Up in The Next Pandemic-The First Step is To Avoid Infected People
Obviously, you don't want yourself or your loved ones to get caught up in the next pandemic.
"If a pandemic occurs, it's incumbent on you to do all you can to be prepared and to prevent becoming infected. Do not rely on the government or anyone else to do so since it is unlikely they can protect you adequately . . . The first thing to do is avoid contact with the flu virus. Since the virus is spread through coughing, sneezing and contact with surfaces that contain the virus, you should do all you can to avoid people with flu symptoms and avoid the places where they have been." The Bird-Flu Primer: The Guide to Being Prepared and Surviving an Avian Flu Pandemic, pgs. 83-84 (by Dr. Larry H. Altshuler, M.D.).
Also keep in mind that "people with influenza are often contagious before they are symptomatic." WHO Influenza Pandemic Handbook for Journalists, pg. 6 (emphasis added).
Guess Who'll Probably Be First Among the Infected & Contagious: People With ALREADY COMPROMISED Immune Systems. This Means People Living With HIV/AIDS. Guess Who's Disproportionately Infected with HIV/AIDS?
I'm sure to offend many readers in this section. However, keep in mind that I'm speaking from the point of view of healthy people who are determined to remain healthy. Even if this requires facing some harsh realities.
I need not repeat the appalling statistics concerning African-Americans and HIV/AIDS. Those of us who are paying attention already know that, in some areas of the U.S., our AIDS rates rival some African countries.
In their fact sheet, HIV/AIDS and the Flu, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have noted that "[p]eople with HIV/AIDS are considered at increased risk from serious influenza-related complications. . . . Other studies have indicated that influenza symptoms might be prolonged and the risk of influenza-related complications higher for certain HIV-infected people." Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Fact Sheet, HIV/AIDS and the Flu, pg. 1.
Reality Check: Common sense dictates that you're more likely to get sick if you're already sickly.
Who among us has an increased risk of being infected with HIV/AIDS?
Reality Check Answer: Various categories of Damaged Beyond Repair Black men and the Black female enablers who have sex with them.
Black male jailbirds, dope fiends, "down low" individuals*, and "players." AND the foolish and/or naive Black women that they infect.
[*Men who refuse to admit to themselves that they are gay/bisexual (and therefore refuse to self-identify as gay/bisexual) are less likely to respond to public service announcements and public health measures directed toward "gay/bisexual" men.]
People WON'T Behave Responsibly During a Pandemic-It's On You to Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones The Best Way You Can
We can see this right now in terms of how reckless so many Blacks are regarding sexually transmitted diseases. Black male jailbirds don't disclose that they were sexing other men in jail. Black male players don't disclose their infidelity. Lots of HIV-positive people (both genders) don't disclose their positive status before having sex with others.
We can already see that many Black women choose to live on Fantasy Island ("My man is faithful to me. He only 'stepped out' once when that h* tried to 'steal' him, and he was careful. I know he was locked up, but he ain't no 'punk.'") instead of protecting themselves against STDs. This is why HIV/AIDS is rampant among African-American women.
The unspoken part of this is that more than a few HIV-positive people are deeply resentful of healthy people, and don't mind spreading the infection out of bitterness. It's taboo to say this out loud. Not everybody gracefully faces disease like the Tom Hanks character in the movie Philadelphia. I've seen this with more than a few of my clients. I've had clients who deliberately tried to bite social workers and police officers in hopes of infecting them. I've had clients whose attitudes about telling their sexual partners of their HIV/AIDS status were "Somebody gave this to me. F%#$ them all."
A certain percentage of people will have this same attitude during a pandemic, and will deliberately cough and sneeze in other people's faces. Don't we see people already doing this? Do we really expect behavior to improve just because people are dying? NO.
If you live in a Black residential area, there are probably droves of people living with HIV/AIDS around that you don't know are infected. Many of us have relatives that we don't know are infected. Often, there's no way for you to tell. Some infected people don't appear sick. There are also methods of concealing the effects of illness. For example, there are products available called facial fillers (injections and implants) that help conceal the facial lipoatrophy (facial wasting) that is often a complication of HIV/AIDS. http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0geu.Wh1tJJzv0AlytXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTEzZ210Z2RmBHNlYwNzcgRwb3MDMwRjb2xvA2FjMgR2dGlkA0RGRDVfMTE5/SIG=12f745bgo/EXP=1238640673/**http%3a//www.drmosser.com/press_sculptra_HIV_lipoatrophy.html
You don't know their HIV status, but you DO know if a Black female relative/friend/acquaintance is involved with a jailbird, drug user or player.
You don't know their HIV status, but you DO know if a Black male relative/friend/acquaintance is a jailbird, drug user or player.
All of this is something to consider when the next pandemic arrives. If you value your life, you might consider cutting these people loose. You might also consider reading up on avian flu and taking steps to prepare BEFORE the next pandemic breaks out.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
64 comments:
Woah and wow! That's a stern warning. KIT wrote this post on her blog about bird flu being combined with the human flu vaccine. I knew never to trust the gov't and their "free" flue shots!!
http://keepittrill.blogspot.com/2009/03/bird-flu-mixed-with-human-flu-vaccine.html
Hello there, Faith!
Thanks for the link to KIT's excellent post. It's good that more voices are speaking about REALITY.
Here's my concern about Black folks' traditional response to such information: We get emotionally wrapped up into assigning blame, and we still don't prepare for these eventualities.
It reminds me of an episode years ago when I was still in school. The local activist-inclined Black bar group had sponsored a workshop about HIV/AIDS at a local Black junior college. The guest speaker was a Black doctor who worked in a local Black-run shelter/center for people living with HIV/AIDS. If I remember correctly, it was called Kupona Network, and was the ONLY such place in Chicago.
Well, the audience spent the entire session trying to browbeat this man into saying that HIV/AIDS was a government-sponsored bioweapon conspiracy against Blacks. I remember thinking, "Whatever he personally believes, that man can't say stuff like that in public. His funding will evaporate if he talks that conspiracy talk."
These fools were willing to destroy a one-of-a-kind resource for sick BLACK people. All for the emotional pay-off of hearing a doctor say that HIV/AIDS was government-sponsored biological warfare against Blacks. Keep in mind that this was 20 years ago, when housing discrimination was even WORSE regarding people living with HIV/AIDS.
[I managed to speak to the doctor after the workshop. Since the husband of a woman in my study group was a lobbyist, I put the doctor in touch with him.]
From my perspective, it really doesn't matter how something like this gets started. The first priority is to do what we can to prepare and survive.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
There is a product called Sambucol (or the name may have been changed to Sambucus") that has been shown to be effective against bird flu. Well,in the lab anyway http://www.nutraingredients.com/Research/Sambucol-fights-bird-flu-virus-in-lab
There are various places online from which the product can be ordered.
In the late fall I order a few bottles to keep on hand, and whenever the kiddies start running a fever or sniffling, I start them on it. I've had good results.
In one dramatic case, my younger son had a fever in the morning. I gave him some sambucol. He was lethargic and slept most of the day.
By nightfall he was literally jumping around. Whatever he had was gone just that fast.
Usually, though, it just shortens the severity and duration of their colds to a couple days instead of a week.
Hello there, ForeverLoyal!
That's good to know. However, that's good to know AFTER somebody's already been infected. I'm urging more of us to make advance preparations to AVOID infection in the first place.
Do any of us own N95 (NIOSH 95) masks? NO! (In my case, not yet.) From the book I mentioned in the post: "Most surgical masks and other breathing masks will not protect you against the virus because they allow small particles through.
Only the N95 (NIOSH 95) mask can protect you adequately. N95 is a government efficiency rating that means the mask blocks about 95% of particles that are 0.3 microns in size or larger. It meets the CDC guidelines for protection against anthrax spores as well as most forseeable bioweaponry and avian flu viruses.
Anytime you are exposed to the virus, however, you should discard the mask and use a fresh one. It's simply better to avoid other people and exposure." The Bird-Flu Primer, pg. 86.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
After Hurricane Katrina I started prepping my family for all manner of disasters. This is a good site to read up on disaster-preparedness and how to deal with whatever eventuality. Whether it's making 'grab and go' bags, having a 'bug-out' plan or having a designated location for you and yours to meet it has information and resources.
http://www.ssrsi.org/rah.htm
Yes, some of the stuff is 'out there,' but as I've said before, even a blind hog finds an acorn every now and then.
I've always been interested in viruses, influenza in particular and have probably read a few dozen books on the subject. One in particular, The Great Influenza, is a very detailed history of the 1918 pandemic. Few of us alive today have any experience with pandemic flu and how disruptive (and deadly) it can be. The 1918 virus was so deadly because it did something that flu typically doesn't do; it killed more young people than it did old. Essentially it turned the body's own immune system against itself. Some articles I've read suggest that H5N1 has some of the same deadly markers.
A virus that debilitates and kills young people is obviously more disruptive than one that kills/sickens old people. Think about it for a minute, if everyone is sick, or caring for the sick, who's going to do things like pick up garbage, work in the grocery stores, deliver mail and various other tasks that make civilization? During the 1918 pandemic all these services shut down, as no one left home unless they absolutely had to. There's speculation that far more people died because there was simply no one to care for them. People were on their own to survive as best they could. I see no evidence that it would be any different. Keep in mind that the 1918 pandemic killed more people in 6 weeks than AIDS has killed in 20+ years.
When scientists were developing scenarios for how to handle 'nuclear winter' post atomic disaster, they looked to accounts from the flu pandemic and from Europe's Black death as a starting point as to how people would respond.
Unfortunately, most black people are concentrated in these 'black meccas,' crowded urban areas that make exposure more likely. Influenza flu and other natural disasters are just some of the reasons I didn't want to move to Atlanta. The ridiculous traffic makes bugging out extremely difficult and the huge population greatly increases the risk of contracting influenza or various other nasties.
We all need to need to evaluate our surroundings and escape if necessary...Help is NOT on the way!
I'm of the opinion that women should stay away from their sistafriends who date jailbirds. I will admit to not knowing anybody who has ever been to prison, and I don't even know anybody who has a relative that has ever been to prison. If one is an ex-con, chances are that they have had their salad tossed. HIV rates are highest among the prison population. Only a foolish woman, an INCREDIBLY FOOLISH one, would put herself at risk by having a relationship with such people. You can have as many tests as you want that say you are uninfected, if you've have so many friends in the federal penitentiary, you ain't gonna be MY friend.
And the situation is even worse than in some of these third world aids ravaged countries, because atleast they know that there is a problem. Alot of us just like to pretend.
"I'm of the opinion that women should stay away from their sistafriends who date jailbirds."
Agreed! And most men who have been in prison carry a negative kind of spirit around.
In June of 2005, my father was released from prison. He had no other place to stay so I sent him a bus ticket and said he could stay with me until he got on his feet...lasted two weeks.
My husband had to remind him that we have two daughters and that it was NOT alright to wake up in the morning and walk to the bathroom with just his boxer underwear on.
My husband had to tell him that he was NOT allowed to give our address out to men in prison.
My husband had to inform him that he was NOT allowed to buy groceries from the supermarket and make "prison meals" for my children to try.
At first -since he is my father- I tried to have these conversations but I eventually had to hand him over to my husband because he was just so negative, bitter and unwilling to abide by the rules of our home.
I just believe ex-cons have absolutely nothing to offer me personally.
Thanks Khadija: It's great you put the waning out there. I don't think most people will be prepared for this. I mean I barely know anyone who has an earthquake kit in CA and my former employer did NOT want to pay for survival kits to keep in-house even after it was recommended by building security.It was all I could do as the Tenant Warden to get those execs to leave the floor during fire drills! We all like to think we're going to be "safe".
Hello there, Roslyn!
Thanks for the info about the preparedness site and the book! I'm on my way to check both of them out.
You said, "Unfortunately, most black people are concentrated in these 'black meccas,' crowded urban areas that make exposure more likely."
Yep. There is that. I'm also alarmed about the pre-official disaster things most AAs have going such as poor nutrition, HIV/AIDS, deeply entrenched mass irresponsibility, etc. A pandemic, natural disaster, bioweapon terrorist attack will be worse for AAs due to our pre-existing bad collective choices.
____________________
Hello there, CW!
As you noted, help is NOT on the way. Help is not on the way right now. Help certainly won't be on the way in the midst of something like this. We are NOT on outside help's list of priorities. Not at all.
______________________
Hello there, Hollywood Blackout!
You said, "There's so much I want to say, I don't even know where to start."
I know the feeling. As I said earlier, this particular issue intersects with so many pre-existing stupid things that we're collectively doing that it was hard for me to stay focused on one main point. The next pandemic is when all the dumb choices that AAs have made will come together to bite us in the behind.
You said, "But for now I will just say that this HIV/AIDS epidemic among black women stems directly from their unwillingness to face reality."
This is it in a nutshell. What I find so galling is that it's not like the predicament of women in other countries. AA women actually DO have other viable choices AND access to condoms, etc.
You said, "The amount of hatred and disgust that black women have for EACH OTHER solely because there is so much competition for DAMAGED NEGROES is unbelievable.
I honestly believe that if black women were to continue having the same amount of sex partners but those sex partners were not DBRs then the HIV/AIDS rate would decline."
I agree.
You said, "Black women are getting infected and dying at a heartbreaking rate but it doesn't have to be the case. In this instance just by changing the TYPE of men they choose to enter into sexual relationships with (and of course, using protection) they won't have to face the barrel of a gun every time they open their legs."
Yes! {raised fist salute}
You said, "As far as the bird flu outbreak, all I can say is that folks need to be as healthy as possible at all times. Your immune system needs to be STRONG AS AN OX at all times. This means that black women have GOT to start NOW. Diet, exercise, REST and LESS STRESS are all necessary, DAILY activities."
PREACH! It's ALL connected. We have got to start NOW with guarding our health!
_______________________
Hello there, JaliliMaster!
You said, "I'm of the opinion that women should stay away from their sistafriends who date jailbirds...If one is an ex-con, chances are that they have had their salad tossed. HIV rates are highest among the prison population. Only a foolish woman, an INCREDIBLY FOOLISH one, would put herself at risk by having a relationship with such people. You can have as many tests as you want that say you are uninfected, if you've have so many friends in the federal penitentiary, you ain't gonna be MY friend."
Yes. BAD things follow in the wake of ex-cons and those fools who have ex-cons around. Ex. #1 Jennifer Hudson's family. This disease situation regarding ex-cons is quiet, but EQUALLY deadly.
_____________________
Hello there, DeStouet!
You said, "I just believe ex-cons have absolutely nothing to offer me personally."
Ex-cons have nothing to offer ANYBODY. Except problems and sorrow. AAs like to pretend that the prisons are filled with BM like Malcolm X. NOT!
________________
Hello there, Faith!
You said, "Thanks Khadija: It's great you put the waning out there. I don't think most people will be prepared for this...We all like to think we're going to be "safe"."
You're welcome! Here's me engaging in some nonproductive venting--LOL!--This is yet another issue where I'm DEEPLY disgusted with our so-called leadership, as well as our "public intellectuals." Why aren't any of these people discussing this from the point of view of OUR collective circumstances?
It seems to me that they still haven't read the memo that says NOBODY is coming to rescue us, including Pres. Obama. We are on our own.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Re HIV/Aids:
AA women really need to wise up. I for the life of me do not know what it is going to take. If you look at African countries with high occurences of HIV, you will see that the way it has spread is not similar to how it has spread in other countries. In other non-African countries, it has spread (at different times) by gay men (due to the higher chances of them practising anal sex), drug users and sexually promiscuous. In african countries on the other hand, the most vulnerable are those who do not do things that traditionally meant higher occurences of hiv. The most vuknerable are women. Married women to be precise. This is because a lot of these women are either married to polygamous men or more likely, to promiscuous men. So you would see women who would be shocked to have been diagnosed when they have only ever had ONE sexual partner in their entire lives (their husbands). Now the reason that I bring up the situation in African countries is this. Around the world, the other society where the dynamics of the way HIV/Aids has spread is similar to that of African countries is in the AA community. The most vulnerable are also AA women (Khadija listed the reasons in her post). So even though some AA women might believe that since they are not 'sleeping around' or having numerous sexual partners all at the same time, they are not really at risk. It takes JUST ONE infected person to infect you! I was reading an Ebony magazine were a feature on HIV was done and while reading how a lot of those blacks got infected (most were women), I was getting so infuriated.
Before I used to advice women to ALWAYS use protection. Now I don't believe that advice is enough. STAYING AWAY from these men that are most likely to be infected should be added to the list. Should we wait until the HIV rates in the AA community rival those in countries like South Africa?
I once saw a video on youtube of an AA man who was HIV. This guy was infected by a particular girl and this caused him to be bitter. As payback, he goes out as often as possible and sleeps with as many young women as he can. He specifically even targets young girls. He says that most of his victims are black and latina but mainly black. He actually had a list of all the girls he had slept with since he got diagnosed with hiv. He would read their names out on youtube. To protect himself, he covered his face and disguised his identity. I read quite a few of the comments and quite a number of black males were saying that they 'feel his pain' and 'don't blame him for being pissed and trying to get one back' because they would feel the same if they were in his position. I just began thinking that so these guys would happily go around INTENTIONALLY infecting women for revenge? Hardly any of the males were disagreeing with him. Some of the black males even began saying that well the black girls who get infected were whores and so were at fault (totally ignoring the fact that it is actually statutory rape). Some of them did criticise this guy saying that well, those girls would go on to sleep with other black men and therefore also spread the disease among black men and therefore, this guy is technically also hurting 'brothas'. So these males could not care less that this devil incarnate was spreading it among black women but only cared that it might spread among black men. The fact that this guy even had the guts to put up such a video on youtube in the first place was just plain shocking considering that he was actually admitting to committing a crime.
-------------------------------
Re pandemics:
To be honest Khadija, I would never even have thought of connecting the hiv to a pandemic in the way you did.
I believe you should try to protect yourself. Waiting for the government is going to kill you because:
1. If everyone was at risk, they would give priority to those they feel are more important.....and let's not kid ourselves, it won't be black people.
2. If it is mainly blacks at risk, they are going to try and contain it first and foremost which in extreme cases, could mean sectioning off black residential areas as 'infectious zones'.
3. If hurricane katrina taught blacks anything, it is the governmnt ain't gonna save you!
Khadija said:
You're welcome! Here's me engaging in some nonproductive venting--LOL!--This is yet another issue where I'm DEEPLY disgusted with our so-called leadership, as well as our "public intellectuals." Why aren't any of these people discussing this from the point of view of OUR collective circumstances?
I said:
My sister and I were discussing this very evening about the 'leaders' and their refusal to address the REAL issues affecting the black community. Well think of it. IT IS NOT IN THEIR INTEREST TO DO SO! You know why? Well it is much easier to CONTROL a people when those people believe that they NEED you.
Concerning the Al sharptons and co,
IT IS IN THEIR INTEREST FOR THE OOW RATE TO CONINUE TO BE HIGH.
IT IS IN THEIR INTEREST FOR CRIMINALITY TO BE RAMPANT IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY AND THEREFORE INCREASE THE CHANCE OF BLACKS BEING TARGETED BY LAW ENFORCEMENT.
IT IS IN THEIR INTEREST FOR THE BLACK COMMUNITY TO REMAIN ON THE LOWER BARS OF THE SOCIO-ECONOMIC SCALE.
IT IS IN THEIR INTEREST FOR HIV/AIDS TO AFFECT BLACKS MORE THAN OTHERS SO WE CAN PRETEND IT IS THE GOVERNMENT THAT IS SECRETLY INFECTING US.
ETC.
If these and similar situations didn't exist or were greatly reduced, black would feel they need these people even less and very soon, sharpton and co would be put of a job. Now why wuld they then want that??? So it is therefore in their intersets for black people and the black community/collective to continue having these problems.
Hello there, Foxycleopatra!
Yes, there are MANY parallels between HIV/AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa and HIV/AIDS the AA community. I find this infuriating. As I mentioned earlier, AA women have more choices in American culture than women in other societies. Women in many other societies are literally TRAPPED within their cultures. There's no excuse for this in America.
Also, I have some historical perspective on this. AIDS first came to public attention during the end of high school/beginning of college for me. I was old enough to pay attention to this from the beginning.
I remember it previously (briefly) being called "GRID" (I think "Gay Related Immune Deficiency," or some such). I remember Haitians being stigmatized as among the risk groups for being "carriers" of AIDS. I remember loud, White, gay male activists like Larry Kramer (he's one of my activist heroes, I strongly recommend that folks check out his speeches and open letters to the (White) gay male community).
[For folks who think I'm caustic, shrill and obnoxious, you ain't seen nuttin' yet until you've checked out Larry Kramer in action! LOL! He has alienated many, many people. However, he got things done on behalf of his community. And helped save a lot of lives in the process.] I remember his organization, ACT-UP. I remember their slogan: "Silence = Death" He also helped found Gay Men's Health Crisis.
Most of all, I remember the period during the late 80s when gay/bisexual men were dropping like flies from this plague. Especially within the performing arts. I saw for myself how the White, gay male community had the self-respect and common sense to mobilize to reduce their rates of new infections. [Although I get the impression that the numbers are creeping back up for younger gay, White men who didn't live through the "folks dying like flies" period of the late 1980s.]
Meanwhile, AAs have passively sat back while this plague has become ENTRENCHED within our collective. I can't pinpoint where the apathy is coming from. Have we been lulled to sleep by the availability of HIV medications? If people aren't quickly and openly dropping dead, then everything's okay? Or are we even dumber, and less invested in preserving our own lives, than I realized?
It upsets me that AAs have totally forgotten about the LEGIONS of people that we've lost to this plague. Among others, so many entertainers that I recall enjoying are long gone because of this. [For just a few examples, the singer Sylvester, Alvin Ailey, a character actor that I liked named Franklyn Seales, and countless others.]
{insert primal scream here}
You said, "Before I used to advice women to ALWAYS use protection. Now I don't believe that advice is enough. STAYING AWAY from these men that are most likely to be infected should be added to the list."
PREACH! My concern is that most BW have NOT considered the risks of maintaining close contact with the foolish BW that hook up with BM who are likely (secretly) living with HIV/AIDS. Many kind-hearted BW are potentially running health risks that they never even thought of by maintaining friendship with these BF fools.
You said, "I once saw a video on youtube of an AA man who was HIV. This guy was infected by a particular girl and this caused him to be bitter. As payback, he goes out as often as possible and sleeps with as many young women as he can. He specifically even targets young girls
...I read quite a few of the comments and quite a number of black males were saying that they 'feel his pain' and 'don't blame him for being pissed and trying to get one back' because they would feel the same if they were in his position."
I'm not surprised. Like I said in the post, I see quite a bit of this with the clients. And the attitudes expressed in the comments you described are fairly WIDESPREAD among the BM client population.
You said, "To be honest Khadija, I would never even have thought of connecting the hiv to a pandemic in the way you did."
Being a "geostrategy nerd" is one of my hobbies! LOL! Seriously, there are a lot of White laypersons who are doing armchair "wargaming" of various scenarios that could affect their collective. I enjoy reading some of their blogs. They are thinking through anything and everything that might harm their interests.
Meanwhile, we're mostly talking about stupid stuff. And those of us who do raise serious issues tend to leave the discussion at the point of "Look at what terrible thing Da Gubmint/White Folks/The Corporations are doing! It's a conspiracy!" I'm sorry, but this is childish, and a total waste of time unless it's followed up with some action.
In terms of AA (mis)leaders, you said, "So it is therefore in their intersets for black people and the black community/collective to continue having these problems."
Well, now that you put it like that, I see what you mean. LOL! However, there comes a point when they miscalculate. When the collective is either literally DEAD, or too enfeebled to support them. These (mis)leadership parasites are coming very close to killing the host body (the AA collective).
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
My brother has been in and out of jail since he was a teen. He is now close to forty, and went to jail for the...(lost count)...time last year.
He is due to get out in 2010. He has a two year old child that he sometimes says is his, sometimes says the child isn't.
He now has a baby coming by another woman this month. This woman is waiting on him, and talks like he's serving in Iraq!!!!
Whenever my mother speaks about the situation, she acts as if another OOW baby that my brother can't support coming into the world is no big thing.
I love my family, however, I left home twenty years ago, and never came back say for a few visits.
I have never allowed my son to spend the summer with them. I could not bear the thought of my son being influenced by them.
Khadija, I wonder if you and Evia have days where you feel this blogging thing is for the birds.
If you do, please know that ideas like yours are very much needed.
Be encouraged!
Tee
HIV/AIDS is an extremely important issue to discuss. But for one moment, I would like to address STDs. A large proportion of African American/Black young girls (middle school, high school,age 14-19) have the highest prevalence of STDs, than any other group. Let me say that this is something that is not in the best interest of Black Females' image at all. Especially when we are trying to date and mate out. I was deeply upset about this information because for me, a young black woman, it reinforced stereotypes of the "black whore" that I knew I had never been and never would be. Fast forward to the present, and I became a part of those young women who were infected with an STD. After only 2 sexual partners in my entire life, I was infected with HPV. I don't believe for a second these young black girls were the school whores. What I do believe, is that all too many of them were individuals of low self-esteem, and without proper upbringing from their parents (especially their mothers; please don't be afraid to talk to your kids about sex! The current times call for you to be honest and open!) who for whatever reason seem to take less interest in their daughters health and well-being than they should, given the obvious circumstances. Imagine a young girl going through this, who is being sweet-talked by a black male (let me be honest and say that for whatever reason, black girls in highschool are still narrow on who they date despite the droves of black male teens that date and mate in and out of their race). If she isn't getting the love and support that she NEEDS from family and friends, then she is more likely to fall victim to this foolishness. I am positive, had they done research on STDs in young black males of the same age, they would have found some shocking statistics (and not the good kind). Might I also add, that some STDs are still able to infect an individual even when they use protection. HPV is one of them. I also would like to urge all of the black women, young and old, to ask their personal gynecologist to do an HPV Test when they get their regular Pap Smear. Many women have shown normal pap smears, and have gotten cervical cancer nonetheless. The Pap Smear IS NOT ENOUGH. I urge you all to take this advice because the HPV Test specifically detects the virus. HPV causes cervical cancer. You put two and two together. HIV/AIDS infection in addition to other STDs make life a lot harder to live. Many of the HIV/AIDS infections are discussed in the context of black men in prison, using drugs, on the down low, unfaithful to their partners, etc. I ask that we all keep in mind our precious black girls and how easy it is for them to fall victim to these infections. I enjoy reading this blog and continue to strive toward living the best possible life for me.
"That's good to know. However, that's good to know AFTER somebody's already been infected. I'm urging more of us to make advance preparations to AVOID infection in the first place."
Yes, it's great to have Sambucol on hand. But avoiding infection in the first place is much PREFERABLE. Nasty results of infection aside, Sambucol is $10.00 for a two day supply. For one person. On sale.
Just trying to make a small contribution. :)
This one's for you, Khadija: http://foreverloyal.wordpress.com/2009/04/01/i-guess-she-doesnt-believe-in-sugarcoating/
The difference, of course, is that you have some advice to offer. :)
Hello there, Tee!
What you're describing is what happens when a group (us) normalizes madness. {sigh}
Thank you SO much for your support and encouragement! I truly appreciate it!
_________________
Hello there, Anonymous!
You said, "HIV/AIDS is an extremely important issue to discuss. But for one moment, I would like to address STDs. A large proportion of African American/Black young girls (middle school, high school,age 14-19) have the highest prevalence of STDs, than any other group...
...I was deeply upset about this information because for me, a young black woman, it reinforced stereotypes of the "black whore" that I knew I had never been and never would be. Fast forward to the present, and I became a part of those young women who were infected with an STD. After only 2 sexual partners in my entire life, I was infected with HPV."
Please know that you are lifted up in my prayers and thoughts.
Please also know that if you're not already doing so, you'll have to engage in self-advocacy in order to LIVE WELL. There is NO cavalry riding in to rescue BW. This is why I mentioned the example of Larry Kramer's group ACT-UP earlier. There's also the example of the parents whose experiences were portrayed in the movie Lorenzo's Oil.
There's no need for you to answer these questions here (or in an email to me), but please ask yourself:
1-Are you keeping up with the medical journals to be on the lookout for medical trials of new treatments that might reduce the odds of getting cervical and other cancers?
2-Are you keeping with the medical journals to be on the lookout for new treatments to eliminate or reduce the symptoms associated with HPV (genital warts, etc.)?
3-Have you read the books that I've mentioned before on the blog: Anticancer: A New Way of Life, by Dr. David Servan-Schreiber, M.D., PhD.; and Foods to Fight Cancer, by Dr. Richard Beliveau, PhD.?
4-Have you read the blog post from 10/31/08 entitled The Inner Sanctuary, Part 3: Decide to Beat the Curve?
5-Have you sought out encouraging examples of other people who have done self-advocacy regarding health struggles? Have you read up on the ACT-UP group? Have you watched the movie Lorenzo's Oil?
We're all going to have to be our own advocates.
Also, you're right. Issues related to sexuality are usually a proxy for self-respect and self-esteem in terms of BW and girls.
________________________
Hello there, ForeverLoyal!
"We'll freeze to death first."
LOL! Thanks for the info regarding the Sambucol product, and for the first laugh of the day!
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Khadija:
Also, I have some historical perspective on this. AIDS first came to public attention during the end of high school/beginning of college for me. I was old enough to pay attention to this from the beginning.
My reply:
Same here, Khadija! I'm several years younger, and I remember all of that while I was in college.
I was such a nerd, I used to order health reports from the board of health on how many people had the disease.
I used to read at my school's health studies library information about infectious diseases.
I used to go to educational events at the school sponsored by the GMHC (gay men's health crisis) because they were the only game in town! There were lesbians talking about the ways they could become infected, and I read their stuff too and that of women's activist groups targeting women addicts and prostitutes.
I admired Larry Kramer too, he was such a character, along with Act-up. I read too, the book the Boys in the Band, to get a sense of how a pandemic could develop.
Shoot, I was straight and nerdy and celibate, but I was educating myself!
But most important is that I remember then it was seen as a gay disease and many black folks got self-righteous about it, forgetting about the virulent homophobia in the community that made it impossible to even begin discussing intervention in the early days, ie. among down low (bisexual) black men who never admitted that they were gay and had sex with men, or who called it everything else under the sun, or who said they were safe because of...whatever.
You're right, though, there is evidence that a younger generation of gay and bisexual men are acting as though it is a non-issue. They think it is cured or something, or they believe the availability of medications means that they don't have to worry.
The so-called religious leaders, who supposedly were the ones to lead their flock, were not thinking of ways to do outreach back then, and are they doing it today? Back then, they created an environment hostile to that purpose. Essence magazine used to have articles over the years about this.
Then you add in the drug addiction aspect and men in prison today, having sex with men, or getting raped by men, and it is just crazy!!!!!!!!!!
There was a recent Newsweek article on the Aids epidemic in DC. The focus was on a black woman who runs the Women's Collective, a group dedicated to helping women in DC who have the disease.
This is a woman who became diagnosed in 1986 when she was a 29 year old married woman. Her husband had once been a drug user 10 years before, but become clean. She got the disease from him. She lost her husband and 3 year old child within a six month period.
She spoke of the various factors that complicate women's abilities to protect themselves: poverty, inadequate health care; awareness campaigns don't target black women; husbands and partners don't know or aren't truthful about their status; and condoms only work when men agree to wear them. Women who have tried to insist on protection have been beaten or even raped, she mentioned.
A new behavioral study indicated that among DC residents believed to be at high risk (blacks make up 3/4 of those infected with the virus and almost 60% of women get it through heterosexual sex), 70% hadn't used condoms the last time they had sex, nearly half had sex outside of a committed relationship, 39% did not know their own HIV status, and half didn't know their partners.
[I'm with you on the primal scream here, men who abuse women, using dominance to manipulate or control them, especially young women]
As for women getting tested and getting help early, she notes many women are single heads of households who struggle with their own issues of providing for their families, their own problems that weigh them down, and thus, they don't get tested....
Again, it comes down to the kinds of men women are dealing with, as you and another poster talked about. If you can't have a conversation with a partner about protection, or if he thinks it is nothing he needs to worry about, forget about him!
http://www.newsweek.com/id/191425
Khadija:
...I read quite a few of the comments and quite a number of black males were saying that they 'feel his pain' and 'don't blame him for being pissed and trying to get one back' because they would feel the same if they were in his position."
I'm not surprised. Like I said in the post, I see quite a bit of this with the clients. And the attitudes expressed in the comments you described are fairly WIDESPREAD among the BM client population.
My reply:
What I find shocking here relates to something you mentioned about an "underclass" cultural mindset. Nothing in what Foxycleopatra was describing indicated that this character and his chorus believed that he had any responsibility whatsoever to protect himself from disease, and it seems no one called him on it. But of course, he was ready to victimize others for his own failure to protect himself.
Hello there, PioneerValleyWoman!
You said, "[I'm with you on the primal scream here, men who abuse women, using dominance to manipulate or control them, especially young women]"
I'm also doing a primal scream about the BW involved. I can excuse teenage girls, but other than that I'm not really feeling that about "dominance." This is NOT Africa or the Middle East. American women are among the most free women on the planet. There are other men to choose from. There's really no excuse for all of this as far as I'm concerned. Grown a** women have other choices.
You said, "As for women getting tested and getting help early, she notes many women are single heads of households who struggle with their own issues of providing for their families, their own problems that weigh them down, and thus, they don't get tested...."
Well, whatever problems they have will be a thousand time worse if they allow themselves to be infected. Either they take steps to preserve their own lives or they will DIE an early death. It's that simple. Even a ROACH will make you work to kill it---it runs away.
You said, "Again, it comes down to the kinds of men women are dealing with, as you and another poster talked about. If you can't have a conversation with a partner about protection, or if he thinks it is nothing he needs to worry about, forget about him!"
Exactly!
You said, "What I find shocking here relates to something you mentioned about an "underclass" cultural mindset. Nothing in what Foxycleopatra was describing indicated that this character and his chorus believed that he had any responsibility whatsoever to protect himself from disease, and it seems no one called him on it. But of course, he was ready to victimize others for his own failure to protect himself."
Yep, this is an underclass mentality. However, it's not just limited to the underclass. The AA collective made a virtue of making excuses and refusing to accept any responsibility whatsoever for ourselves.
Look at how so many of us have the knee-jerk reflex of trying to find sympathetic excuses for even the most brutal, heinous crimes such as the Negro who decapitated his 5 year old sister, as well as murdering another sister. "He must have been mentally ill. He needed help. Yadda, yadda, yadda." Anything and everything EXCEPT maybe he was simply EVIL. I GUARANTEE no AA would be talking that mess about mental illness if a Klansman had been the one to decapitate that little Black girl!
We choose to characterize the brutal Negroes among us as mentally ill based on the brutality of their crimes. But we don't extend the same "must be mentally ill and needed 'help'" characterization to the Klan, neo-Nazis, or (presumably racist) White cops when they kill Blacks.
I don't see any difference between the two groups of perps.
Excuse me, but we are full of ****.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
On another note, I was at the supermarket this afternoon when I saw a copy of More, a magazine targeted to women over 40.
There was a story about the rise of AIDS infections in women over 40. I heard of this kind of story before, but thinking about the earlier story about the situation in DC and its mention of the latest reports from the Center for Disease Control, there is more to ponder.
Some of course are women who were faithful and monogomous, but their husbands stepped out and couldn't be bothered enough to protect themselves or their wives. Some of them were real sleazy creeps, having unprotected sex with men and female prostitutes!
Others of these ladies either came of age with respect to dating long prior to the pandemic or once they got married, they completely forgot any wisdom they ever had about the dating scene.
Newly divorced, they sounded like young teenagers, using a naive logic that might as well have shaved off 30+ years of their lives, ie., I'm menopausal, I don't need to have him use condoms, he had a vasectomy, he "looked" clean...whatever.
Khadija:
I'm also doing a primal scream about the BW involved. I can excuse teenage girls, but other than that I'm not really feeling that about "dominance." This is NOT Africa or the Middle East. American women are among the most free women on the planet. There are other men to choose from. There's really no excuse for all of this as far as I'm concerned. Grown a** women have other choices.
My reply:
I hear you! Yes, women are free, but as we know, too many black women don't seize their own power, for the million and one reasons that we all know of. That is the underlying message: empowerment!
Hello there, PioneerValleyWoman!
You said, "Others of these ladies either came of age with respect to dating long prior to the pandemic or once they got married, they completely forgot any wisdom they ever had about the dating scene.
Newly divorced, they sounded like young teenagers, using a naive logic that might as well have shaved off 30+ years of their lives, ie., I'm menopausal, I don't need to have him use condoms, he had a vasectomy, he "looked" clean...whatever."
You've reminded me of another pattern that I've noticed with my young BF, HIV+, dope fiend clients at work. I call the syndrome "There's no fool like an old fool." Many of these young BF dope fiends set out to hook up with elderly retired BM fools in hopes of getting pregnant, and thereby getting a slice of their pensions, etc.
This works! I've seen LOTS of elderly, BM idiots in child support and child welfare courtrooms who had fathered children with these 30-40 years younger, HIV+ dope fiends.
I'm sure more than a few of these fools have contracted HIV/AIDS behind this. Which, of course, I'm sure they go on to spread to the naive BW in their age group that they date. (Said women probably have NO idea that these men are involved with prostitutes and/or dope fiends.)
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
I live in the Baltimore area and in a few months will be moving to the DC area so when I saw the article below it caught my eye. The HIV+/AID statistics are frightening. Black men have the highest rates at 7%, but they're rising across all races and sexes.
If you have girls that you are sending off to schools in this area, Howard, UDC, Georgetown, George Mason, Univ of MD College Park, Bowie, etc., please have them read these series of articles by the Washington Post.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/03/14/AR2009031402176.html
Hello Khadija,
I want your brain. This is another brilliant post.
PVW - I am glad that you were a nerd. I am aspiring to be one myself and I realize we need thinking people desperately.
I just wanted to add that the prostitute angle must be common. There are men, young men at that, that I have known for years and never would have thought, but I have been surprised at some of the slips in conversation. I even had one BM mention to me that the drug addicted ones are better bc they are cheaper and are willing to do anything. Now this man is living with a woman - common law- who is clueless.
I am disgusted at men like this, but I let people talk so I can eliminate them. It is amazing what will come out just from listening and a little gentle prodding. It just shocked me.
I knew a couple one male was bi and the other gay and they would both have sex with men, women, and prostitutes.
Other attitudes that I have found are similar to what was mentioned where some BM and BW don't want to know their status and then there is another group that doesn't care/think it is no big deal.
The group that doesn't care lives on fantasy island. I have heard some BM go so far as to say that they are now having more sex as a positive person than they ever had when they were negative. When I ask what about reinfection with a more virulent strain? Or something that the current cocktail doesn't help and they say its all the same. Once you've got it - you got it.
Folks scare me.
Hello there, Shocol!
Thanks for the article AND the warning. Young BW going to college in the DC area need to understand that DC is now the SAME as San Francisco during the late 1980s---an HIV/AIDS capital!
What irritated me about the Washington Post article, as well as the recent Essence article about the same topic (the rise of HIV/AIDS in Washington, DC) is that there was plenty of government-blaming. When are BW going to wake up and realize that we have to do self-advocacy like gay, White men did in the late 80s?
In fact, ACT-UP is the reason why the HIV medications became available when they did. They are the ones who forced the government's and pharmaceutical companies' hands about the medication. Gay White men didn't wait for a government program. They made things happen for themselves!
I've been watching YouTube videos of ACT-UP and Larry Kramer. In one interview, he was noting how passive today's generations of gays are compared to the activists when ACT-UP started in 1987. I guess the availabilty of medication cocktails has lulled them to sleep.
The same thing applies to Blacks and HIV/AIDS; only we've ALWAYS been comatose at the wheel with this issue. I don't understand this passive attitude.
_______________________
Hello there, Aphrodite!
Thank you for your kind words; I truly appreciate it.
You said, "I just wanted to add that the prostitute angle must be common. There are men, young men at that, that I have known for years and never would have thought, but I have been surprised at some of the slips in conversation. I even had one BM mention to me that the drug addicted ones are better bc they are cheaper and are willing to do anything. Now this man is living with a woman - common law- who is clueless."
{heavy sarcasm} Lovely. Just lovely.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Aphrodite:
PVW - I am glad that you were a nerd. I am aspiring to be one myself and I realize we need thinking people desperately.
My reply:
Thanks! I wish you success with your endeavors. I agree, it is essential to have thinking people who use their critical thinking skills around, especially since so much has been dumbed down in a spate of anti-intellectualism!
FoxyCleopatra said:
I once saw a video on youtube of an AA man who was HIV. This guy was infected by a particular girl and this caused him to be bitter. As payback, he goes out as often as possible and sleeps with as many young women as he can. He specifically even targets young girls. He says that most of his victims are black and latina but mainly black. He actually had a list of all the girls he had slept with since he got diagnosed with hiv. He would read their names out on youtube. To protect himself, he covered his face and disguised his identity. I read quite a few of the comments and quite a number of black males were saying that they 'feel his pain' and 'don't blame him for being pissed and trying to get one back' because they would feel the same if they were in his position. I just began thinking that so these guys would happily go around INTENTIONALLY infecting women for revenge? Hardly any of the males were disagreeing with him. Some of the black males even began saying that well the black girls who get infected were whores and so were at fault (totally ignoring the fact that it is actually statutory rape). Some of them did criticise this guy saying that well, those girls would go on to sleep with other black men and therefore also spread the disease among black men and therefore, this guy is technically also hurting 'brothas'. So these males could not care less that this devil incarnate was spreading it among black women but only cared that it might spread among black men. The fact that this guy even had the guts to put up such a video on youtube in the first place was just plain shocking considering that he was actually admitting to committing a crime.
------------------------------
This FOOL actually got arrested by the feds for his youtube videos. Not because he named the black and latina "w****s" that he had sex with, but because he went on Youtube claiming he was going to contaminate some Gerber baby food so he could kill black babies.
Well, ya'll know the Feds don't play that mess. They rolled in and found out he was some 44 year old loser with mental issues making these outlandish Youtube videos. He also ran some bootleg pornography business (which is how they tracked him down). He's looking at ten years in federal prison, THANK GOD, but I was also disgusted by how many people commented that the women "deserved" to catch HIV/AIDS if they were loose enough to sleep with him.
Great post, Khadija!
Hello there, Enlightened!
Thank you for your kind words about the post. I truly appreciate it.
You mentioned, "This FOOL actually got arrested by the feds for his youtube videos. Not because he named the black and latina "w****s" that he had sex with, but because he went on Youtube claiming he was going to contaminate some Gerber baby food so he could kill black babies.
Well, ya'll know the Feds don't play that mess. They rolled in and found out he was some 44 year old loser with mental issues making these outlandish Youtube videos. He also ran some bootleg pornography business (which is how they tracked him down). He's looking at ten years in federal prison, THANK GOD, but I was also disgusted by how many people commented that the women "deserved" to catch HIV/AIDS if they were loose enough to sleep with him."
Alhamdulilah! [Praise God!]
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Khadija,
I was recently watching a video of some lectures that took place at Abyssinian Baptist Church in 1990. One of the speakers was a black female doctor who discussed AIDS and how it was ravaging the black community. She talked about how it was no longer acceptable to go around sleeping with everyone. THIS WAS 20 YEARS AGO! I don't understand if the alarm was sounded so many years ago why won't black folks wake up?! And that is not the only program that took place where the AIDS crisis was discussed back then. From my understanding, those types of programs/rallies/lectures were going on all the time back then. In this day and age, no one should be uninformed about AIDS. The information is freely available. Can someone please enlighten me as to why this is still a crisis in the community given all of the info that is available out there.
Peace and solidarity,
Tasha
Hello there, Tasha!
You asked, "And that is not the only program that took place where the AIDS crisis was discussed back then. From my understanding, those types of programs/rallies/lectures were going on all the time back then. In this day and age, no one should be uninformed about AIDS. The information is freely available. Can someone please enlighten me as to why this is still a crisis in the community given all of the info that is available out there."
I join you in inviting others who were paying attention to share their thoughts of how things got as they are. From my memories of how all of this went down (and continues today):
1-Those types of programs/rallies/lectures were NOT going on all the time back then. They're not going on "all the time" right now. In terms of Black folks, I only recall there being a few, marginalized voices talking about this. The same as today.
2-The masses of Black people were NOT (and are not) listening to the few Black voices speaking about this.
3-Nos. 1 & 2 were (and are) due to a mental habit that is still predominant among us: Fantasy Island.
The vast majority of Black folks are hell-bent on believing that none of this applies to them personally. Even when it does: "My man is faithful to me. He only 'stepped out' once when that h* tried to 'steal' him, and he was careful. I know he was locked up, but he ain't no 'punk.'"
...I just f&*% 'fags,' I'm not gay. I ain't with that 'gay' s$@#.
4-Effectively containing the spread of HIV/AIDS requires leaving Fantasy Island. Most Blacks just aren't willing to do that. And so, we get infected and die.
Thank God the mostly White gays in ACT-UP forced the the availability of HIV/AIDS medications. Even more Black folks (including straight Blacks) would be dead if they hadn't taken action.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
It's called 'magical thinking,' Tasha. Let me give you an example. A while back I was talking to a lady who was concerned about the sexual behavior of her son. Apparently he was in his early 20s and quite promiscuous. She was concerned about him contracting a disease. We discussed this and I gave her some direction on agencies and such where she might get literature.
Later on we were discussing her own love life. She told me about the fact that her 'husband' was 'tipping out' on her. She had a boyfriend as well, and the husband's 'ladyfriend' was seeing several gentlemen primarily for financial reasons. Of course, I mentioned using condoms (you can imagine how far that got since all these women had tubals) She was actually outraged when I asked why she wasn't concerned that her 'husband' was sleeping with a prostitute. "Ain't nobody no prostitute. She just has gentlemen friends."
Quiet as it's kept the largest percentage of women who take money for sex would never acknowledge being prostitutes. They engage in as much magical thinking as the so-called down-lows. The first child I dealt with who was HIV+ was twelve years old. She contracted from an adult male she slept with to pay the power bill.
It's not enough to talk about the down-low phenomenon and high incarceration rates, though certainly they are contributing variables. We also have to factor in the sex trade and exploitation of young women and girls.
The black community in many ways reminds of the hyper-sexuality of the gay community prior to the AIDs epidemic. This is not surprising. Marginalized people have a remarkable tendency to become deviant. For quite a while there was denial in the gay community as well. Many did not then and don't now want to give up the party. This is why you see the emergence of the foolish behavior that activists decry. Go to any gay website and you references to 'barebacking,' and stranger sex, which had become quite taboo is making a comeback. Conspiracy theories abounded (in many arenas they still do). It took quite a few years for them to get a grip.
Unfortunately the nihilism that leads to the self-destructive behavior I mentioned is even more deeply ingrained in blacks than in gays. No matter what, a gay white male is gay, but he's still white and male and thus at the top of the heap. Black people hate themselves and one another. We don't value our lives and we don't value the lives of other blacks, so it's not surprising that we don't take precautions.
Hello there, Roslyn!
You said, "The black community in many ways reminds of the hyper-sexuality of the gay community prior to the AIDs epidemic. This is not surprising. Marginalized people have a remarkable tendency to become deviant."
That's a brilliant point. I hadn't made the connection between marginalization, powerlessness and the "I have sex, therefore I AM" mindset. Hmmmm...
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Khadija:
Hello there, Roslyn!
You said, "The black community in many ways reminds of the hyper-sexuality of the gay community prior to the AIDs epidemic. This is not surprising. Marginalized people have a remarkable tendency to become deviant."
That's a brilliant point. I hadn't made the connection between marginalization, powerlessness and the "I have sex, therefore I AM" mindset. Hmmmm...
My reply:
Roslyn is right on the money with this one. I used to show previous classes the documentary After Stonewall, which discussed the rise of the gay movement after the Stonewall riots, and you could see this sort of rationale being developed, especially in light of the Before Stonewall companion documentary.
For that early generation of gay rights activists that came out in the late 60s and early 70s, they felt incredibly marginalized by the prevailing culture of their youth and young adulthood, ie., in the 1950s and early 1960s (discussed in Before Stonewall). So in complete rejection of it, the "Leave it to Beaver" lifestyle, they went in a 180 degree direction.
Khadija said...
Hello there, Tasha!
You asked, "And that is not the only program that took place where the AIDS crisis was discussed back then. From my understanding, those types of programs/rallies/lectures were going on all the time back then. In this day and age, no one should be uninformed about AIDS. The information is freely available. Can someone please enlighten me as to why this is still a crisis in the community given all of the info that is available out there."
I join you in inviting others who were paying attention to share their thoughts of how things got as they are. From my memories of how all of this went down (and continues today)...
My reply:
Since you have asked those who remembered to come back in and talk, I've taken up your invitation.
Here is what I recall from back then, in the late 1980s.
First of all, when AIDS arose in the early to mid 1980s, a lot of black folks were very self-confident that they need not worry because it was a white male gay disease. They figured, I'm not gay, and neither is anyone I'm sleeping with, so why be concerned?
Alot of heterosexual people, black as well of other groups, wallowed in this complacency.
There were not many straight black folks learning from the gay community about what was happening, even though I was going to events sponsored by the staff of my college residence hall.
I was intellectually curious back then. Public Health education fascinated me. These were events sponsored by the Gay Men's Health Crisis. How many black folks would have gone to programs sponsored by them?
Because of this fantasty island mentality that Khadija described, the boards of health began discussing behaviors by the 1990s, not how one self-identified, so the "men having sex with men" moniker began to be used, rather than gay.
Yet, some fantasy island residents still refused to admit what they were doing, ie., that they were bisexual men.
As recent as 2002 or so, the New York Times had an article about the down-low thing. It was reall shocking to a lot of folks. E. Lynn Harris, a black male writer and a gay man, had been talking about this for years!
Moving on to the other aspect of transmission, through intravenous drug use, a similar fantasy island mindset was at play: I'm not a druggie, and neither is my partner, or s/he used to be a druggie, but s/he is clean now. This is what caught the woman I spoke of earlier, who got the disease from her late husband.
But it is important to note that one need not be the partner of a drug addict or a former drug addict. If one slept with someone who used to sleep with someone and got infected, the more direct connection can become lost, so the fantasy island thinker was once again feeling very secure:
S/he does not have that history of drug abuse, s/he looks clean, forgetting, though, that the person(s) s/he used to be with might not have been clean.
It gets worse when you factor in the aspect of sex with prostitutes; this was part of the public health message too that I recall, educating prostitutes in safe sex and urging men not to go to prostitutes, or if they do, to use condoms.
[Yet, considering some recent history, that fool Eliot Spitzer, former governor of New York, was having sex with a call girl (high end prostitute) and not wanting to use condoms.]
Not only are many prostitutes having unprotected sex with numerous men, but many of them are drug abusers, so it is the perfect example of the "double whammy," so-to-speak.
Oh, and another aspect of the public health message used to target druggies to get them to use clean works, not share needles, and practice safe sex.
How effective were they, I wonder?
Going to my bookcase, Khadija, here is a book I had from back then:
Women, AIDS and Activism: The ACT UP/New York Women and AIDS Book Group, published 1990.
From the preface: This book was originally produced by members of the Women's Caucus of the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (ACT UP) in conjunction with a teach-in about women and AIDS at the Lesbian and Gay Community Services Center in NYC in March 1989...
From the back cover: Finally, a comprehensive and progressive book about women in the AIDS epidemic. With informative discussion of safer sex and sexuality, HIV testing, treatment and drug trials, public policy and activism, Women, AIDS and Activism is the only thorough and up-to-date analysis of AIDS issues for women. Looking at issues specific to lesbians, heterosexuals, bisexuals, prostitutes, intravenous drug users, teenagers, mothers, pregnant women, and women in prisons, this book is essential reading for everyone concerned about women's health and the AIDS crisis.
I believe the black women's health project was active back then too. Evelyn C. White wrote the Black Women's Health Book: Speaking for Ourselves.
Hello there, PioneerValleyWoman!
You mentioned, "Oh, and another aspect of the public health message used to target druggies to get them to use clean works, not share needles, and practice safe sex.
How effective were they, I wonder?"
Puh-leeze. I feel that the activist-types screaming for these needle programs are lying con artists when they claim that these programs help. From what I've seen of dope fiend clients at work, these people are totally incapable of rational thought pertaining to anything except how to get their next high.
On top of that, I read somewhere that dope fiend "etiquette" when sharing needles is that the woman gets the needle LAST.
You said, "Going to my bookcase, Khadija, here is a book I had from back then:
Women, AIDS and Activism: The ACT UP/New York Women and AIDS Book Group, published 1990."
You've got an impressive bookcase! LOL!
You said, "From the preface: This book was originally produced by members of the Women's Caucus of the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (ACT UP) in conjunction with a teach-in about women and AIDS at the Lesbian and Gay Community Services Center in NYC in March 1989..."
Note that ACT-UP was involved in producing this book. Also note that most straight Black folks WON'T go anywhere near any meeting at any place called "the Lesbian and Gay Community Services Center." After all, if one is seen wandering in & out of such places, folks might think one is gay/lesbian! And then you really have a social problem.
All of this Fantasy Island, magical thinking is why I have no patience for listening to Blacks talk about "we need programs." We won't avail ourselves of the programs that already exist! We don't need any more programs. We need some common sense.
This also ties into the passive, incurious mindset that Lisa talked about in her comment to the Larry Kramer post. If you hear of, and personally KNOW of, people who are dropping dead of a plague, why wouldn't you read up about it? Why wouldn't you take steps to protect yourself from infection?
Some things are just too stupid. And I'm getting to the point with this issue that I've reached with the notion of feeding starving people in Africa: STOP trying to help them! I know it sounds Ayn Rand-ian, but hear me out.
If the people of these societies (and by similar stupidity, AAs) REFUSE to fix the cultural dysfunctions that are literally KILLING them, then it's just as well that they die out. And clear space for more sensible people to effectively use the natural resources in those countries.
I know that in terms of AAs, I'm NOT going to beg anybody to save their own life. If they're that stupid and determined to remain on Fantasy Island, then the rest of us are better off without them.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Khadija:
Women, AIDS and Activism: The ACT UP/New York Women and AIDS Book Group, published 1990."
You've got an impressive bookcase! LOL!
My reply: I do! Both at home and at my work office.
Smile--the nerdy college kid has grown up to become a nerdy academic!
I too was raised in a family where I was expected to go find out things for myself. Thus, nerdy me in junior high school, I had my library bag with a notepad where I would keep a list of subjects I heard of during the week that I wanted to learn about.
On library day at school, or after school was out for the day, I'd be in the library, learning more.
Khadija:
You said, "From the preface: This book was originally produced by members of the Women's Caucus of the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (ACT UP) in conjunction with a teach-in about women and AIDS at the Lesbian and Gay Community Services Center in NYC in March 1989..."
Note that ACT-UP was involved in producing this book. Also note that most straight Black folks WON'T go anywhere near any meeting at any place called "the Lesbian and Gay Community Services Center." After all, if one is seen wandering in & out of such places, folks might think one is gay/lesbian! And then you really have a social problem.
My reply:
Indeed, that sort of thing is just beyond ridiculous, right up there with the "don't talk about women's issues, folk might think you are a lesbian" and "all feminists are lesbians, you know."
Um, hello? Are lesbians the real enemy? Many lesbians have been at the forefront of fighting for women's rights, and especially black lesbians like the late Audre Lord, talking about black women, racism and sexism from "way back in the day"!
Like you said, and as Larry Kramer mentioned in his interview, people are worrying about appearances in the face of real danger and so they refuse to learn!
"This FOOL actually got arrested by the feds for his youtube videos. Not because he named the black and latina "w****s" that he had sex with, but because he went on Youtube claiming he was going to contaminate some Gerber baby food so he could kill black babies."
------------------------------
Well thank God for that. One less monsters off our streets!
"The black community in many ways reminds of the hyper-sexuality of the gay community prior to the AIDs epidemic. This is not surprising. Marginalized people have a remarkable tendency to become deviant. For quite a while there was denial in the gay community as well. Many did not then and don't now want to give up the party. This is why you see the emergence of the foolish behavior that activists decry. Go to any gay website and you references to 'barebacking,' and stranger sex, which had become quite taboo is making a comeback. Conspiracy theories abounded (in many arenas they still do). It took quite a few years for them to get a grip."
That's why I can no longer stand George Michael. This man has been caught time and time again, in filthy public places, whether it is a public toilet, on Hampstead Heath etc., engaging in unsafe sexual practices, despite the fact that he is in a long term 'committed' homosexual relationship. When he was criticised, he replied..."It's part of the gay lifestyle." He, by his actions and public persona, is normalising attitudes and behaviours one would have thought were outdadted. I was surprised when I found out that despite the very public criticism, there were alot of gays who, privately, agreed with him that it was, in fact, part of the 'gay lifestyle'. Frankly, I no longer buy the idea that things improved. I think these practices became confined to the underground. Now things considered 'seedy', 'kinky' etc, are now being paraded as a normal, usual part of gay relationships. Try going into a gay romance store. Most just look like sex shops. I'm like....'where is the romance?!'
__________________
"That's a brilliant point. I hadn't made the connection between marginalization, powerlessness and the "I have sex, therefore I AM" mindset. Hmmmm..."
This is very similar to the story you told(I think it was you), of the fellow who had several OOW kids with several women, couldn't/wasn't really taking care of them/providing financially, but when a new one was born, he would declare....."I am King".
_______________________
"This also ties into the passive, incurious mindset that Lisa talked about in her comment to the Larry Kramer post. If you hear of, and personally KNOW of, people who are dropping dead of a plague, why wouldn't you read up about it? Why wouldn't you take steps to protect yourself from infection?"
When SARS first came to wide public attention a few years ago, I made a point of reading up on it as much as I could. Forget it when folks say that any human strains are so far, only restricted to Easter Asia. Unless they find a cure, it is going to hit, and you know it's black folks that always engage in the most stupidity on such instances, so guess which demographic is going to be worst affected? At the time, I was still in my mid teens, yet I wanted to be sure that I was fully equipped. When I'd see folks in China with these masks over their mouth and nose, I wanted to know why they wore them, and how the masks were protecting them, AND the best type. The disease has now reached the western most part of Europe(but is still confined to the birds). Some folks are going to wait till they grow beaks before they think of safety.
______________________
"Some things are just too stupid. And I'm getting to the point with this issue that I've reached with the notion of feeding starving people in Africa: STOP trying to help them! I know it sounds Ayn Rand-ian, but hear me out.
If the people of these societies (and by similar stupidity, AAs) REFUSE to fix the cultural dysfunctions that are literally KILLING them, then it's just as well that they die out. And clear space for more sensible people to effectively use the natural resources in those countries."
I partially agree. The young who are suffering are in these conditions as a result of other people's actions. I always assist whenever I can. But otherwise, it get's to a point when one sometimes just has to say "Enough!" It's one thing if it's in Sudan, Somalia etc(well that annoys me more because it is these so-called 'don't call me black' black arabs that are doing the killing), but in cases where it's about poverty, when one get's so used to sufferring, others get used to seeing them suffer. One good example is the case of Madonna's adoption of that baby boy(David) about a year and a half ago. Ignore what the media says, most(in fact, almost all) African babies that are adopted are adopted by fellow Africans, from the same country. This is after no other relative has taken them in. In this little boys case, the only reason he was in an orphanage was because his father REFUSED to take care of him. Not that he was unable to, but he just didn't want to put in the effort. The boy's mother had died, she was not working while alive, so it's not like her death had caused the elimination of an income stream. The father was able to financially provide for him to the same extent that he was doing before his wife's death, but he just wasn't willing to physically raise the child. So he decided to used the orphanage as a baby sitter, then he had the audacity to open his mouth and complain because someone else decided to do his job.
Another example is in the case of the former Nigerian President(Obasanjo). This negro decided to say that the country people should stop complaining about strife and understand that Nigeria is a 'poor country', and as a result, she cannot feed her citizens. He got a resounding 'negro sit down'. Even folks on the street knew that it wasn't a poor country. This guy just wanted to spend the money on his own personal stuff. It comes to a point when one has to say that if folks continue to accept and vote in corrupt officials, they should stop complaining when they get the result.
The problem in most African countries isn't corruption. In Nigeria, it is corruption(and I'd know), but some other countries have either famine, poverty, war, or some combination. In the case of corrupt countries, the issue isn't mismanagement, as is oft repeated in the media. The problem is that they manage the money TOO well. If one wants to excape paying tax, they hire a good tax laywer that can school them. If one wants to hide money, they need expert advice on the best ways to do it. These folks, on the other hand, don't. They KNOW how to swindle. How is that defined as mismanagement? They are very good money managers. There is a woman, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, who was a Vice-President in the World Bank in America. She took a large pay cut to be Nigeria's Finace Minister. Her husband and kids were in the US, and she went to live in Nigeria, so made a huge sacrifice. She was able to, after alot of hard work, get upwards of several hundreds of millions of dollars of Nigerian money that had been stashed in Swiss back accounts by previous leaders. There are thousands of such accounts in banks around the world, so that should tell you how much folks have swindled. The money was transferred to a home bank. Can you believe that as this woman stepped foot off the plane on her return from Switzerland, she arrived at work to find that the money was gone! She couldn't account for what happened to it. I mean, these folks didn't even waste any time. Not surprisingly, she quit after some years. When asked why, she said that in every corner of ever government department, there were crooks. She saw no point in wasting her time and decided to go and enjoy her family.
What I'm about to say, I don't ever say in public, or I only say it around other blacks, but I'll just go right ahead(yes, I know were on the internet, and all sorts of folks will be reading this, but oh well...). It's come to a point where I believe that black folks have issues. And I mean SERIOUS problems. I'm not just talking about negroes, i mena everyday black folks. I have an uncle(not biological, but a family friend) who believe that black folks are cursed. His wife gets so angry whenevcer he says it, and I used to as well, but even I am starting to think, hmmm, hold on. The same thing that is plaguing AA's is the same thing that is wrong with Africans, which is the same thing that is wrong with black folks in Britain, and the same thing wrong with black folks in Brazil. We(I don't mean every single one of us, vut y'all get my drift), like handouts. Tooooo much. If it's not waiting for welfare, it's waititng for aid. If it's not waiting for some government programme, it's waititng for some UN programme. It's always about getting help from someone else. And whenever we DO make programmes ourselves, it is always in lieu of solving an already long-existing problem, and never about creating opportunity/being innovative. We like waiting for other folks to do stuff, then we want to use it. The problem may have existed for a long time, but how many black folks actually take the initiative to solve it? And when one does, there is always not just one, two, but an entire chorus of negroes trying to but up roadblocks.
I have never liked the 'get mine' attitude that is so pervasive in the black community, but it would atleast make more sense if these black folks actually 'got theirs'. In most African countries, the work ethic is very good. One would see people reday to strife to benefit themselves, individually. But try and get these same people to do stuff for the community/country etc., till you turn grey, you'd still be waiting for folks to turn up. There was an African church in England that was attended predominantly by students. The pastor(a Nigerian), organised a charity event for the chirch members to come and volunteer in a homeless shelter, prisons etc. On the day, most of the folks who turned up were from another church(a more mixed one, but essentially, was predominanlty white students). The outreach wasn't even organised by this church, but they, along with other parishes were invited to join in the work of the community. Guess how many of the students from this African church turned up? Three. A whole THREE of them!
Black folks are too interested in blaming. Yes, there is enough blame to go around, but what about solutions. I've actually semi-given up on trying to get black folks talking about AIDS in our communities. Before anyone pounces on me, try doing it yourself. I'll tell you the reply you'll get. It will be something along the lines of..."the government did it", "if it were white folks dropping like flies, there would already be a cure" etc. They do this everytime, and frankly, I cannot continue to disturb myself. If folks want to listen, they will. If they choose to act on what they've heard, good.
_____________________
"Indeed, that sort of thing is just beyond ridiculous, right up there with the "don't talk about women's issues, folk might think you are a lesbian" and "all feminists are lesbians, you know."
My reply to such comments is usually...."And?" If you notice, they hardly ever have anything else to say after that.
Hello there, JaliliMaster!
Here's what I see as the bottom line regarding the "Africa Follies" that you described: When the Chinese finish taking over sub-Saharan Africa, they will make good and productive use of the natural resources there. With or without the physical presence of the (soon to be FORMER) inhabitants. End of story. The Chinese rulers have a billion people to feed. And a million-man Red Army to keep equipped. They don't have time for foolishness. {shaking my head}
You said, "I've actually semi-given up on trying to get black folks talking about AIDS in our communities. Before anyone pounces on me, try doing it yourself. I'll tell you the reply you'll get. It will be something along the lines of..."the government did it", "if it were white folks dropping like flies, there would already be a cure" etc. They do this everytime, and frankly, I cannot continue to disturb myself. If folks want to listen, they will. If they choose to act on what they've heard, good."
You and me both. This is what I mean when I say that I refuse to beg anybody to save their own life. God respects free will, and so will I. That's why the current HIV/AIDS plague among AA women has me feeling irritable/angry as opposed to sad. They chose to remain on Fantasy Island. That was their choice. Oh well.
Ah, George Michael. I remember him from the beginning---Wham!UK---then it was called Wham!---then dying his hair blond---then wearing earings on both ears during the Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go period---then dropping the unknown guy (what's 'is name, Andrew Ridgley?)---then the solo career---then the bathroom arrest. {chuckling}
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Well the comments about Africa seems to be in accord with what Dambisia Moyo wrote in her new book Dead Aid. She was on C-Span Q&A last night. A very good, thoughtful interview about herself and her work in Economics. She states that Africa does not need anymore dead aid from other governments. She is being villified by NGOs and some African leaders who want things in Africa to be status quo. I ordered the book and am looking foward to reading it. She has a wesite www.deadaid.org.
Hello there, Sistrunkqueen!
Thanks for the info about the book. From what I can tell by reading her website and some of the reviews, I agree with her about the need to cut off the aid (international welfare) to Africa.
The same way (and for the same reasons) that I feel welfare needs to be cut off in the US. Just as in Africa, AAs (and others) have mostly squandered public aid FOR DECADES; and dependency upon it has become part of a death spiral. This cycle needs to be broken. One way or another. Sink or swim.
I don't know whether or not her other suggestions would actually work (I'm not an economist).
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
This is the most amazing blog post I have yet to read. I am so greatful that you (and the other people that have commented) are taking their time out to give some really insightful responses.
I think the first step to try to end all this madness - and I may get laughed at for saying this - but to just move away from the black community. That's what I did. I picked up and left. No forwarding address, email or phone number. The only people that I wanted to get in touch with had my information. If you didn't have it, I didn't WANT you to have it. I moved to a pretty diverse neighborhood, AWAY from 99% of the DBRBM and carved out a new life for myself. I don't associate with them and I have no problem saying that OUT LOUD. I may be getting off the subject but I just wanted to voice my own personal experience. Once I left the BC things were ALOT different. I actively sought out people of different races to learn from and to be around. People are people, some good some bad, but I tell you some of the issues that bm come with, I don't have to deal with.
It's very refreshing.
It's like with DBRBM they are a different class of people. And we are trying to coexist with them? It can't be done. Because we are constantly being preyed upon by them. They don't care about BW unless they want something from us, unless THEY can benefit in some way. It's never a 2 way street.
Again, I think we as black women should start just moving out of these communities where all these DBRBM live and have access to. Just move...
Anwyay I probably got off subject, but I just wanted to throw in my two cents. I am with whoever said we need to forget about people that aren't trying to do better and just move on from them...and I guess that's what I did...mentally and physically.
Hello there, Lynn!
Thank you for your kind words about the blog post and discussion. I truly appreciate it.
Yep. Black residential areas have become literally LIFE-THREATENING. In ways that we don't even realize. This in one such way.
For many reasons, it's time to flee these places. I talked about this in depth int the post dated 11/18/08 titled "All Colored Folks Who Want to Go to Kansas...".
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
"The same way (and for the same reasons) that I feel welfare needs to be cut off in the US. Just as in Africa, AAs (and others) have mostly squandered public aid FOR DECADES; and dependency upon it has become part of a death spiral. This cycle needs to be broken. One way or another. Sink or swim."
This is my main problenm with things like aid/welfare etc. It has it's uses, but after a while, those receiving it get used to it and alot of the time, are just too stupid to realise that they have gottern to a point where they are being dependent on these handouts, and hence, controlled.
Here is another example of some black women's continuing spiral downward: black women marrying men who are openly gay/bisexual, which fits in with the theme of this post.
I heard of this story that appeared in Essence on line, and I quote from it:
America's favorite Atlanta “Housewives” star Dwight has the blogosphere in an uproar with news that he is getting a wife of his own. The flamboyant hairstylist who was first introduced as NeNe Leakes's best friend and confidante on the premiere season has confirmed exclusively to ESSENCE.com that he is engaged to a woman.
Although a date has not been set, Dwight's bride-to-be has no qualms about his appreciation for both sexes. And it hasn’t stopped other women from pursuing the hairstylist and divo extraordinaire for romantic liaisons.
“I get more play from women than men," says Dwight, who recently celebrated his fiftieth birthday with a circus theme and male and female models to escort him through the room. "I can’t get a date with a man, but the women are knocking my doors down. They just love you when you can be real about who you are.”
My observations...Now it seems to me that there was a time when black women who knew men were gay just left them alone with respect to their private lives--they just did not go there. And when the down-low thing became more well known about six years, it acted as a cautionary, be careful of who you are with. But the message is different now?
But now, Essence magazine, the rag I no longer buy, if anything, is telling black women that there is nothing wrong with dating/marrying a gay/bisexual man, provided he is open about himself and his lifestyle.
So women who choose to go this crazy route, what will be their magical thinking?
I turned him out...He is no longer gay...He'll never go back to men...I know he'll stray, but he'll be honest with me...I know he will come back to me...He will be careful out there...etc, etc.
What in the world?????
Hello there, PioneerValleyWoman!
You mentioned, "My observations...Now it seems to me that there was a time when black women who knew men were gay just left them alone with respect to their private lives--they just did not go there. And when the down-low thing became more well known about six years, it acted as a cautionary, be careful of who you are with. But the message is different now?
But now, Essence magazine, the rag I no longer buy, if anything, is telling black women that there is nothing wrong with dating/marrying a gay/bisexual man, provided he is open about himself and his lifestyle.
So women who choose to go this crazy route, what will be their magical thinking?
I turned him out...He is no longer gay...He'll never go back to men...I know he'll stray, but he'll be honest with me...I know he will come back to me...He will be careful out there...etc, etc.
What in the world?????"
Oh...my...God... It's one (foolish) thing for a woman to knowingly dally with a NON-STRAIGHT man. But for a woman to actually think that she's in a committed relationship with a NON-STRAIGHT man? And God forbid, to marry a NON-STRAIGHT man?
Lord have mercy. Aside from infidelity and disease issues, there is the inherent non-reciprocity (at least in terms of women who are straight). The non-reciprocity of choosing someone who will NEVER be as "into you" as you are "into" him. This is beyond insanity.
What next? The (bizarre) step that Lisa mentioned a long time ago of more BW hooking up with Black "trans-men"? {head spinning}
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Oh, so that's who that guy is. I saw a picture of him on another blog kissing a woman and was like what is going on here? He was wearing mink pants for crying out loud. I have never understood the attraction to gay men, but I do know of several women who have married or at least had relationships with men who were openly gay/bisexual.
Of course Essence supports this. How many 'Great Black Bachelors' issues have they done with Tyler Perry on the cover. The last one I saw also featured Shemar Moore. There are pictures of Shemar running nude on a gay beach. Seriously Essence, is that the best you can do?
"Lord have mercy. Aside from infidelity and disease issues, there is the inherent non-reciprocity (at least in terms of women who are straight). The non-reciprocity of choosing someone who will NEVER be as "into you" as you are "into" him. This is beyond insanity.
What next? The (bizarre) step that Lisa mentioned a long time ago of more BW hooking up with Black "trans-men"? {head spinning}"
I'm sure there are some out there who would think it's a good thing as there would be more 'brothas' to date/marry. SMH!
______________________
"Of course Essence supports this. How many 'Great Black Bachelors' issues have they done with Tyler Perry on the cover. The last one I saw also featured Shemar Moore. There are pictures of Shemar running nude on a gay beach. Seriously Essence, is that the best you can do?"
Lol, so I'm not the only one who thinks Messrs Perry and Moore are gay? I remember a few months ago, one of these black rags did a feature for some type of 'eligible bachelor' thing. Alot of women mentioned that most of the men looked gay. I don't know if there is a truly gay 'look' but when I checked the pictures out, I knind of got their point.
And I too have heard of married women sleeping with gay/bisexual men, but them having 'committed' long-term relationships with them is a whole new issue. I really don't see the point in so far as no matter how much one might enjoy his company, he will eventually need to itch, and the woman doesn't have much place to complain if she alreday knew.
11/18/08 titled "All Colored Folks Who Want to Go to Kansas...".
I will make it a point to read that post. I tell you I am SO HAPPY for blogs like this and the like. I truly hope BW are reading this. I try to get the word out every time I can to a BW I see that's not happy with the way things are going in her life.
Take care!
Hello there, JaliliMaster!
You said, "Lol, so I'm not the only one who thinks Messrs Perry and Moore are gay?"
No, you're not the only one. LOL!
_______________________
Hello there, Lynn!
You said, "I tell you I am SO HAPPY for blogs like this and the like. I truly hope BW are reading this. I try to get the word out every time I can to a BW I see that's not happy with the way things are going in her life.
Take care!"
THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm just trying to "pay it forward" for all the blogs like Evia's (and others) that helped me.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Hey Khadija:
This was a very good and important read.
It's important because one of my relatives is living with HIV. She caught it from just one time of having unprotected sex with her then BF.
Thank goodness that she's doing very well (high T cell count, proper diet and exercise). Even though she's healthy, it's still a burden to live with the disease.
You know, I think about the depressing state of the BC everyday. It drives me nuts because there's such a lack of common sense.
Thinking about the reader comments has me thinking of an old convo that me and my BF had years ago. He said that he wished that humankind would operate like the animal kingdom. He said that the weak should just die off when they refuse to be smart and learn from their mistakes and when they refuse to be smarter and learn from other people's mistakes.
Hello there, Anonymiss!
Thank you for your kind words about the post. I truly appreciate it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your relative. You said, "Thank goodness that she's doing very well (high T cell count, proper diet and exercise). Even though she's healthy, it's still a burden to live with the disease."
I praise God that she's doing well. However, as you noted, dealing with this disease is a huge burden. It's no joke.
You said, "You know, I think about the depressing state of the BC everyday. It drives me nuts because there's such a lack of common sense."
I find the willful lack of common sense quite annoying. However, I try to focus my attention on those folks who are willing to seek good, abundant lives. The rest will simply have to continue dying in the wilderness.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
@ Pioneervalleywoman
"Thanks! I wish you success with your endeavors. I agree, it is essential to have thinking people who use their critical thinking skills around, especially since so much has been dumbed down in a spate of anti-intellectualism!"
Your welcome and thank you!
Sad to say that alot of young black women ARE NOT protecting themselves. Ive worked in the pharmacies from Long Beach, CA to Chicago. And constantly have had to fill what we'd call "Monday Morning Specials". Basically thats the typical perscription from the local clinic or Planned Parenthood, containing :
1) The Morning After Pill
2) Doxycycline or some other antibiotic, more than likely for a vaginal infection or STI.
3) Anti-Itch cream.
4)Birth Control.
5) A huge box of industrial size of Rugby condoms.
Whats sad was that these SAME girls would try to fill, these perscriptions almost every weekend. The State typically only pays for 1 Plan B pill a month. I had to keep informing them that The Morning After pill is not a form of Birth Control. In fact they have access to Birth Control why werent they using it!!!
But my experiences in the Huntington Beaches, and Laguna Beaches were not any better. The herpes medication Valtrex is a "fast mover" round those parts, and was constantly perscribed to young white kids, for thier current outbreaks.
But what I noticed was that the majority of the Aids meds I filled were in the Urban cities. While the majority of the psyche, anti-anxiety and anti-depressants were in the white areas.
*Sigh*
Now that I think about it its all down right depressing.
Theres also alot of unexplored info regarding the aids epidemic in Africa, and the effeciency in testing, there have actually been suits here are some links to some intersting information if you are intersted:
http://www.virusmyth.com/aids/reappraising/2001-01.pdf
http://www.aliveandwell.org/
Not sure if your familiar with these sources But I found them interesting, I was put off by some of the information, and why Alive and Well has yet to address the current publisiced HIV crisis amongst Black Women in particular.
But intriguing none the less.
I remember watching some program I think on ABC, "exploring" the rising numbers of HIV infected BW in America. And finally someone did a study, taking the recent documented infections into account with the ratio and proximity to Prisons. Lo and Behold, the women in these immediate areas had a much higher rate than those who lived in farther communities.
Unlike some posters here, I know of and have socialized with ex-cons. Some in my own family, some of them freinds I have grew up with, and watched let themselves get swept away into "thug life". Tryna be a dopeboy and what not.
My eye opening experience came as a teenager when my best friends uncle, who was very protective over me, heard about some little "thug" around the neighborhood, staking his claim on me. He grabbed me by the hand, took me to the corner, and pointed out every guy out there I knew, that had either voluntarily, or involuntarily engaged in sex with other men while in prison. He knew because he was there too. He then asked me if I was still "attracted to knuckleheads"
I was quickly cured of my "bad boy" stage. Alot of women would shutter at the info that was divulged to me that day. But I took it in, and absorbed every bit of it.
Hello there, Daniecal!
You said, "Whats sad was that these SAME girls would try to fill, these perscriptions almost every weekend. The State typically only pays for 1 Plan B pill a month. I had to keep informing them that The Morning After pill is not a form of Birth Control. In fact they have access to Birth Control why werent they using it!!!"I would imagine for a combination of reasons (having sex when they're not emotionally ready to do so; holding to the confused notion that if they effectively plan for sex then that means that they're h***; religious guilt for being sexually active; and most of all---not caring very much about themselves).
Whatever the reasons are, they are NOT about lack of access or lack of information. There are some other things going on with these sorts of situations. I believe it mostly revolves around a lack of self-respect and self-worth. The cumulative effect of BW's psyches getting a non-stop, degrading, cultural "beat down" for the past 25 years. [Via Negro popular culture---hip hop.]
You said, "He grabbed me by the hand, took me to the corner, and pointed out every guy out there I knew, that had either voluntarily, or involuntarily engaged in sex with other men while in prison. He knew because he was there too. He then asked me if I was still "attracted to knuckleheads"
I was quickly cured of my "bad boy" stage. Alot of women would shutter at the info that was divulged to me that day. But I took it in, and absorbed every bit of it."Thank God you had the sense to listen. I've known PLENTY of grown a** women (not just teenage girls) who would have convinced themselves that the man was just telling them this because he was "jealous" of the "love" between them and their thug boyfriend.
Thanks for the info about the websites. I'll look them over this weekend.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
There's a recent Huffington Post article entitled, "Black Women and the AIDS Crisis" by Martha St. Jean.
I vaguely remember that roughly 20+ years ago there was a national AIDS quilt project that had been organized by gays.
I see that things have escalated to the point that now some Black women have an AIDS quilt as well (in video form). I just read a crazy statistic saying that 1 out of 30 BW women will be diagnosed with HIV during her lifetime. There's something called the Southern AIDS Living Quilt. It's apparently a project that has videos of women (mostly Black, it would seem) living with HIV/AIDS. {sigh}
www.livingquilt.org/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/martha-st-jean/black-women-and-the-aids_b_189635.html
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Hello Khadija,
I thought I'd post this since it is relevant:
"A unique strain of swine flu is the suspected killer of dozens of people in Mexico, where authorities closed schools, museums, libraries and theaters in the capital on Friday to try to contain an outbreak that has spurred concerns of a global flu epidemic.
The worrisome new virus — which combines genetic material from pigs, birds and humans in a way researchers have not seen before — also sickened at least eight people in Texas and California, though there have been no deaths in the U.S.
"We are very, very concerned," World Health Organization spokesman Thomas Abraham said. "We have what appears to be a novel virus and it has spread from human to human ... It's all hands on deck at the moment."
....It might already be too late to contain the outbreak, a prominent U.S. pandemic flu expert said late Friday.Given how quickly flu can spread around the globe, if these are the first signs of a pandemic, then there are probably cases incubating around the world already, said Dr. Michael Osterholm at the University of Minnesota.
Epidemiologists are particularly concerned because the only fatalities so far were in young people and adults."
Mexico swine flu deaths spur global epidemic fears
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090424/ap_on_he_me/med_swine_flu
Hello there, Aphrodite!
I saw that. It's VERY relevant. Thanks for posting the details about the situation.
People, Get Ready.Peace, blessings and solidarity.
Post a Comment